Sheffield soundly beaten

West Ham 2 Sheffield United 0

The big news in the Best Cafe is that Nigel has been to see the Black Sabbath ballet after returning from his holiday in France, where he saw Les Alignements at Carnac, a series of standing stones erected as an early defensive wall against James Ward-Prowse's free-kicks. Michael the Whovian is looking for a new title for his play and bemoaning the inflation rate in the caff, where everything now seems to cost a tenner, while also wondering if Martin Jarvis can stop the Zarbi at Brighton. 

At the London Stadium, we're joined by Matt and Lisa on their second of three West Ham matches this weekend, having seen the kids win 2-0 as well as watching the Blue Aeroplanes. Strangely Fraser is missing David Moyes' 900th league game in favour of a holiday in the sun and is replaced by Big Sam.

Aguerd makes a fine block from Archer, but after that Sheffield rarely threaten the Irons' goal. Early on Soucek misses a great chance from a Bowen cut-back and it looks like we might get a cricket score against a team that conceded eight last week. Ward-Prowse's whipped corner causes the usual mayhem, as Bowen header is saved by Foderingham and then Aguerd's follow-up is cleared off the line. Sheffield also survive a strong VAR appeal for hands from another corner.

The breakthrough comes on 24 minutes after good build-up from Alvarez and Soucek releases Coufal on the right. His low cross is calmly steered into the bottom of the net by Jarrod Bowen. The second arrives when Emerson cuts out a pass and finds Antonio, who plays a simple ball to the onrushing Soucek, who stabs home with a clever finish. That's three goals in three games for Tomas and three assists in a row for Vlad.

At half-time Big Sam confidently predicts a 5-0 win though Matt sagely says "this is West Ham" and predicts a nervy 2-1 victory. The second half sees an improved performance from Sheffield and West Ham take their feet off the pedal. Areola is only seriously troubled once, but we can't afford to coast like this against better sides. Still, a clean sheet is kept and sub Kudus has one mazy run, though it's a mystery why Paqueta ends the game up front. 

West Ham might have played within themselves, but there are no easy PL games, as Moyes points out, and 13 points is a fine return from seven games. Perhaps the side were saving themselves for the next match against a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, Freiburg.

We head off to the Eagle for East London Pale Ale from the fridge, where there's a long discussion on rudest politicians encountered and also if Chelsea will stay up. Nigel is on fire with his trivia, asking which team won 5-1 on the first day of the season and is now bottom of their division while the team it beat is now top. The answer is Sutton United who beat Notts County 5-1. 

West Ham might not have scored eight, but at least they haven't succumbed to a reaction from the Blades and in the end it was a very comfortable win. Twenty seven more points and we're safe. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Coufal 7, Zouma 7, Aguerd 6, Emerson 6; Alvarez 7 (Benrahma 6), Paqueta 6 (Mavropanos n/a), Soucek 7, Ward-Prowse 7; Bowen 7 (Fornals n/a), Antonio 6 (Kudus 5).

Soucek makes the difference

Lincoln City 0 West Ham 1 (Carabao Cup)

Well, another good run-out for most of the squad players and a welcome win in a difficult away tie. Tomas Soucek made the difference chesting in Said Benrahma's corner - and ugly goal but again good for his confidence to score two in a row. 

It was good to see Cornet get a chance and his break down the right almost set up Ings, who hesitated with a good opportunity. Ings also missed a great chance in the second half and badly needs a goal. Ben Johnson hit the post from distance and Kudus forced a great save from close range, though West Ham had to dig deep at times. Alvarez almost gave a goal away after passing straight to Duffy who forced a decent save from Fabianski. While it was Fabianski who really earned the win when the game was 0-0 with a brilliant reaction save from Hacket-Fairchild's point-blank header. So now it's Arsenal in the next round, which all looks pretty tasty. 

Some positives amid the usual Anfield defeat

Liverpool 3 West Ham 1

If you're going to get anything at Anfield you have to take your chances. West Ham start really well. First Paqueta plays in a cross and Soucek's header forces a great one-handed save on his line from Allison. At least Tomas seems to be getting in more scoring positions again without Rice in the side. Then Coufal plays in another inviting cross and Antonio makes a complete mess of his header when he should have scored. 

After looking the better side the Irons go a goal down. The ball deflects rather luckily off Nunez's heel and Aguerd brings down Mo Salah, who has reacted quicker and wins the penalty, which he duly converts.

But West Ham come back with a lovely equaliser before the break. Paqueta plays it upfield, Bowen wins a header to find Antonio who feeds Coufal on the right. The full back crosses and Bowen bravely dives ahead of Van Dijk's boot to score with a fantastic diving header. Jarrod's scored in each of our four away games.

Can West Ham get only their second win at Anfield since 1963? Nunez misses a great chance for Liverpool at 1-1 and Bowen puts a header straight at Allison from Ward-Prowse's free-kick. But Liverpool are back in front after 65 minutes as Mac Allister lobs the ball over the West Ham defence and Nunez scores with a brilliant volley as the ball arrives over his shoulder. The game is settled after 85 minutes as Robertson's corner finds Van Dijk, whose header is bundled over the line by Jota.

Two defeats in a row, but then Man City and Liverpool are probably the best two teams in the league at the moment. West Ham could have defended better for all Liverpool's goals, but on the positive side we scored a great goal and created three other excellent chances.

Next in the league we play Sheffield United, a team that has just conceded eight at home. What could possibly go wrong?

Backa in the European groove

West Ham 3 FK TSC Backa Topola 1 (Europa League)

It's down to the diehards of Matt, Lisa and myself at the London Stadium, though no doubt the glory hunters will be back soon. It's a rainy night thanks to Hurricane Nigel, which will surely cause delays on the Highway to Hell if it's named after the absent Nigel. Old soul rebels Matt and myself have been to see Dexys the previous night and are wondering if Geno (which is played at half-time) could be changed to a chant of "Oh Thilo!"

Backa Topola have a tiny amount of away fans and it's a low key start to our Europa League campaign, with Moyes making nine changes from Saturday. This is our reward for winning the Europa Conference and incredibly WHU are in Europe for a third successive season.

West Ham have a lot of early possession and go close several times. Ward-Prowse's free-kick deflects off the wall and over, Kehrer has a low shot well-saved, Kudus has a shot defected just wide and Ward-Prowse's corner is headed wide of the post by Dinos Mavropanos.

But a well-drilled Topola cut off the supply to Paqueta and threaten on the break as the half goes on, with one header striking the top of the bar.Emerson comes on to offer more on an attacking threat at the break. 

Early in the second half Backa take the lead after a disastrous error by Ogbonna. He seems to get the ball trapped under his feet and allows Stanic to score with a firm finish past Fabianski. An upset looks possible as the Vicar's Son next to me starts to get agitated. Fornals is miscontrolling simple balls and Ings can't get in the game. 

Inevitably the talismanic Antonio is summoned off the bench. Micky miscontrols a couple of decent chances but his presence makes a difference. The crowd get behind the side with a chorus of, "West Ham are massive!" 

The equaliser arrives when Benrahma dummies and leaves his defender on the ground, crossing for Petrovic, under pressure from Kudus, to knock the ball into his own net.

Kudus looks a proper flair player and has kept going all night. He gets his reward when the usual excellent corner from Ward-Prose allows him to head home. Mystic Matt then declares that bringing on Soucek for Ings is a typical Moyes substitution and won't increase our goal threat. Ward-Prowse duly swings over another precision corner and Soucek heads in at the near post. 

There's still time for Soucek to have a shot saved and then for Antonio to gather the rebound only to see his shot well-saved again by Simic. So a welcome three points in our first match, admittedly against the weakest team in the group, even if Backa are top of the Serbian league at the moment.

Matt and Lisa have the brainwave of going straight to north London for a drink on the Overground and we end up at the House of Hammerton on Holloway Road. We enjoy sampling the fruit beer, N7, nitro stout and a other crafty delights. Later Matt researches the pub and discovers it was formerly the Wig and Pen and before that the Black House run by Michael X and where John Lennon and Yoko Ono stood on the roof and swapped locks of their hair for a pair of Muhammed Ali's boxing shorts, as you do. This could be peak Islington. 

So ultimately another satisfying Euro night, but also a warning that the Hammers can't be complacent. Now all we have to do is win at Anfield on Sunday.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Kehrer 6, Ogbonna 5, Mavropanos 6, Cresswell 5 (Emerson 6);  Kudus 7, Ward-Prowse 7, Paqueta 6 (Cornet n/a), Fornals 5 (Antonio 6), Benrahma 6; Ings 5 (Soucek 7).

City end West Ham's unbeaten run

West Ham 1 Manchester City 3 

The London Stadium is sweltering as Paolo Di Canio comes on to the pitch to lead the crowd in his version of Bubbles. Nigel is away scouting in France and Michael is on a secret mission who knows where, which means Matt, Lisa, Fraser and myself are joined by The Gav and Big Sam, fresh from relegating Leeds. 

Matt and Lisa have already seen West Ham Under-18s beat Celtic 5-0 on Friday night and West Ham Under-21s win 5-2 in the morning. So they're taking it easy with just three game this weekend. Matt and myself are wearing our Prague t-shirts while Big Sam models his limited edition white and orange Europa Conference Final replica shirt. 

It looks ominous in the sixth minute after a City corner, when Areola has to save Rodri's header, then block Foden's effort, watch as Soucek hooks a Haaland effort off the line and then make a great tip over from Diaz's effort. All that's missing is the Who singing Pinball Wizard. Haaland then strokes a gilt-edged chance wide of the post. City also seem to be getting lots of decisions. "Grealish isn't even playing and he's already gone down three times," quips Matt.

But slowly West Ham come into the game. Bowen whips in a corner that Soucek flicks on, and Aguerd just fails to get on the end of it. "Come on you Irons!" booms a positive home crowd. Emerson sets up Ward-Prowse for a low shot at Ederson. 

KING JAMES

Astonishingly West Ham take the lead after 36 minutes. Bowen gets possession after poor control from Doku and cleverly sends Coufal down the right. The full back plays in a great cross for thew un-tracked Ward-Prowse to head home. That's two goals and three assists for JWP in five games - and he's not even had a free-kick to take yet. "Champions of Europe - we know what we are!" chants the crowd. 

There's another scare before half-time as Doku gets in an inviting cross but Haaland allows Aguerd to clear his scuffed effort off the line. With Haaland misfiring and Areola inspired we're dreaming of another low-possession victory at half-time. 

But 43 seconds into the second half City score. Doku, who, looks a future star, isolates Coufal, cuts inside and makes the finish look easy. Alvarez hits the post with a superb free-kick and then Areola has to make another fine save from a flying Haaland volley.

But the Irons show some character to still create chances. A brilliant through ball from Paqueta releases Antonio, but Michail's touch is too heavy and allows Ederson to block. Emerson almost gets through and his deflected shot wins a corner. Ward-Prowse whips it in and Ederson makes an excellent one-handed save from Zouma's towering header. 

NO SILVA LINING

But it's very difficult to defend perfectly for 90 mins against the Champions-elect. The game is effectively over after 76 minutes when Alvarez scoops the ball over the defence, Aguerd mis-times his jump and Bernardo Silva nips in behind him to lob over Areola.  

Areola has to make another great save from Haaland's volley after a Walker cross. Benrahma and Kudus are on, but don't have a great deal of impact. Gavin claims an assist for City's third, saying that Haaland seems to be having an off-day. West Ham's press doesn't work, City break on the left and Haaland whacks the resulting cross into the bottom corner.

At least we gave them a game. We escape the heat by retiring to the Eagle at Leyton. The chilled East London Pale Ale is refreshing and we enjoy some good music banter over Tayto crisps, covering Peter Perrett, Bernie Taupin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Julian Cope and stone circles, Reg Presley and Joe Henry, plus the time Matt hid under the table with James Brown as skinheads battled the Redskins.

Ten points from five games is not a bad return and City are going to turn over a lot of teams. Liverpool away isn't likely to yield many points either, but let's now enjoy the visit of mighty Bakola Topola (even Matt hasn't heard of them) on Thursday. 

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 8; Coufal 5, Zouma 7, Aguerd 6, Emerson 7; Paqueta 7, Soucek 6 (Ings n/a), Alvarez 6 (Benrahma 5), Ward-Prowse 7, Bowen 6, Antonio 6 (Kudus 5).

Moore, Pele and Peter Grotier

Good bit of niche West Ham trivia on The Repair Shop this week. Former Hammers keeper Peter Grotier, who made 50 appearances for the Irons between 1969-74, bought in his battered old programme from the Santos versus West Ham friendly in Brazil, in which he played as a 19-year-old in 1970. The programme cover featured Pele and Bobby Moore embracing at the 1970 World Cup.

The programme also had Pele's autograph, but had had suffered from eight house moves during Grotier's career. He now wanted to present it to his West Ham-supporting grandson Joseph in better condition. The Repair Shop's Angelina Bakalarou did a great job restoring the paper, removing creases and replacing tears. The 72-year-old Grotier, who now lives in Clacton, looked very moved by the results as it bought back memories of Pele scoring twice against him in the 2-2 draw.

Bowen and King Kurt see off Hatters

Luton Town 1 West Ham 2

Caught the updates from this one while in Glasgow and on the way to the Isle of Arran. This was exactly the sort of game the old West Ham would have lost, up against a passionate crowd in Luton's first home game back in the top flight. But Zouma and Aguerd have fine games at the back and the Irons take the lead with a Bowen header after a great instant cross from Paqueta. Jarrod celebrates by giving the shush signal to the Luton fans who have been chanting rude things about Dani Dyer - they should be careful or Danny Dyer Senior will be round to sort out the numpties. 

Emerson was a little unlucky to have a second goal disallowed by the width of a foot but the game looks settled when Ward-Prowse plays in another exemplary corner and Kurt Zouma heads home. That's one goal and three assists so far for JWP. It gets nervy late on when Andrsen heads one back for Luton, but after surviving a late handball appeal against JWP, the Hammers hold on. 

A lot of positives. Paqueta has played like a man on a mission since the betting furore, the first-choice defensive pairing of Zouma and Aguerd is looking solid, Emerson is now playing like an international full-back, Alvarez is starting to look a proper enforcer and Bowen is scoring away - that's three now having not scored any league goals away from home last season. Though Moyes will surely be disappointed with 61 per cent possession. Ten points from four games and lying in fourth spot is a great start. Another 30 points and we're safe. Irons!