Defensive woes gift win to Addicks

West Ham United 1 Charlton Athletic 2

In the Best Meze Cafe we find a full turn-out of Nigel, Matt, Lisa, Big Sam and Michael. Matt is regaling us with stories of the colleague who thought Dannii Minogue was a man and then the ace trivia fact that Charlton's Nathaniel Chalobah once played six minutes for England.

Michael leaves early to buy a replica West Ham shirt with Bowen's name on the back. He's been talking about not renewing his season ticket all summer, drinking whisky after hours in Rick's Cafe and reminiscing about George Parris. But now, in Victor Lazlo fashion, we welcome him back to the fight — and this time we know our side probably won't win.

Before the match Mystic Matt has predicted that we need to keep any eye on the speedy Tyreece Campbell and that we don't want to concede an early goal as Charlton are strong defensively. So we duly concede a goal from a throw-in after seven minutes. Mavropanos and Kante leave it to each other, the ball bounces and Jones scores with an overhead kick. Hermansen could possibly have reacted a bit quicker.

For the rest of the half West Ham pass it round without any real penetration. Walker-Peters is lucky when he is robbed and Leaburn fires into the side netting on the break. Solomon looks lively and has a goal-bound shot blocked and that's about it. Engels is busy but isn't as yet improving our dialectical materialism. Scarles gets in good crossing positions but can't find a free man and the double striker partnership of Castellanos and Piroe isn't working. Just before the break Scarles does find the head of Taty, but he can only head straight at Okonkwo.

At half-time there's a massive queue at the water point which makes you wonder if Thames Water are in charge. The second half sees Nuno brings on Orford for Kante. But before that change can bring results the Hammers are two goals down. The Greek Bloke should play it simple to Kilman but instead tries to beat his man and is tackled by Leaburn. The Charlton striker finds Campbell who races through to score with a fine finish. Was that Dinos thinking he's still a Premier League player? You can't be complacent in this division and he's clearly missing Disasi alongside him. 

West Ham do give it a go after that. Orford looks after the ball well and Bowen responds to the crowd getting behind him. Solomon sets up Piroe for an effort saved by Okonkwo. Taty heads wide from Scarles' cross. Bowen can't quite connect from Piroe's cross. Nuno hauls off the Greek Bloke and Scarles for Veltman and Mukasa, our former Academy product now loaned back from Man City.

On 74 minuted comes a lifeline. Bowen gets in a decent cross, Taty's effort is saved by Okonkwo but Piroe is there to fire into the roof of the net for a good poacher's goal. Engels wins the ball to find Bowen and from Jarrod's cross Mukasa fires in a first-time shot that is brilliantly saved by the impressive Okonkwo. A good start from young Mukasa. Then Bowen cuts inside two defenders in a trademark run to fire just wide.

SPOT OF BOTHER

In the 93rd minute Solomon finds Mukasa who plays it to Orford on the edge of the box. His shot is blocked by our former man Conor Coventry with an outstretched arm and it's a penalty. There's mystification in the crowd as Castellanos goes to take it rather than Bowen. Has the official penalty-taker been changed? If not then Bowen should have asserted his authority as captain. It heaps pressure on Castellanos. He does one of those irritating stop-start penalties and strikes the ball against the post. If it's the last kick of the game then just blast it.

So it's a very poor start of one point from six. We've lost to a team managed by a character from a Bananarama song in Nathan Jones. Though had that penalty gone in we might have had something to hold on to. Still, some of the rancour online is a bit over-the-top. The Hammers certainly have to cut out the defensive errors, but the last half an hour was encouraging. We have to remember that Piroe, Engels and Mukasa were making their debuts and Solomon was only in his second game. We managed to lose a game having 77 per cent possession and 25 shots. On that basis results will surely come, though on the other hand Nuno could be gone if we don't get results against Watford, Wolves and Derby.

In the Eagle the Guinness is refreshingly cold and Nigel is reminiscing about 1970s quiz show Mr and Mrs and Mind Your Language and why Richard O'Brien supported Southampton in Man About The House, while Michael knows a lot about The Golden Shot. Michael is fresh from watching Mark Almond supporting Bucks Fizz and proudly displays a picture of himself with Jay Aston. 

Meanwhile Matt has discovered that Piroe is the 100th West Ham player to score on his debut and asks us to name the rest. Nigel and Sam are heading to Southampton on Tuesday and you wonder what sort of side Nuno will put out. The big game is now against Elton John's boys on Saturday. We have to acclimatise to this division and quickly.

PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Walker-Peters 5, Mavropanos 4 (Veltman 6), Kilman 6, Scarles 6 (Mukasa 6); Engels 6, Kante 5 (Orford 7); Bowen 7, Castellanos 5, Piroe 6, Solomon 6. 

Hammers blow lead in claret and blue derby: Fullkrug and AWB go while Piroe signs

Burnley 2 West Ham 2

Watched this one at the Royal Oak in Lewes while on a mini-break in Sussex. The Irons' game has one screen while the rest of the pub is watching some minor match between Arsenal and Man City. 

My pint of Long Man is good and the Hammers stroke it around quite well early on. WHU take an early lead when Bowen's corner is nodded home by Max Kilman, who has lost his marker. His first goal for the club and a confidence-booster for Max.

Manor Solomon is giving the Hammers a better shape on the left but the eager but callow centre midfield of Kante and Orford is prone to getting caught on the break. Burnley slice a good chance wide and Hermansen's poor clearance also gifts them a chance. But at the break West Ham seem to be in control.

Pablo goes off injured at half-time and on comes James Ward-Prowse. Burnley come out looking much more determined. We forget to mark Flemming. First the Burnley man heads against the post and then has another header headed off the line by Ollie Scarles.

Bowen can't really get into the game and Taty is well-marshalled, but it looks over when Kante makes a surging run down the right, just keeping the ball in play, and fires in a low cross that is parried out by the Weiss and Solomon is on hand to shoot home.

It looks like an easy win from there on until the 83rd minute when Scarles, who has played well otherwise, lunges in and gives a penalty away with a rash challenge on Edwards. Flemming duly converts.

West Ham drop deep England-style and concede several corners. In the 92nd minute there's a melee from a corner and Flemming is on hand to scuff it home. Nice to know we still can't hold on to a lead. Burnley deserve their point and this is proof it won't be easy in the Championship.

A point away from home isn't a disaster, particularly with Kante and Orford making their full league debuts, but the Hammers need to be more ruthless. Michael the Whovian makes an interesting point on WhatsApp when he notes that we faded after Pablo went off. His heresy du jour is that, "although he doesn't score Pablo is very effective in closing down the back four and defensive midfielders. He breaks them up. He also brings balance to the side and gives confidence to Taty."

At least Engels might improve our means of production. Now Fullkrug has departed on loan to Bremen, probably still very angry, and Wan-Bissaka has been loaned to Aston Villa. We've finally signed a striker in Joel Piroe from Leeds, who looked very effective in the Championship where he was top scorer when Leeds won the title, but couldn't really do it in the Premier League. Encouragingly the Dutch-born striker and Surinam international also scored a goal every two games for Swansea in the Championship during his two seasons in Wales. 

He might be the next Ricardo Vaz Te as he failed to score for Leeds in 16 Premier League games but can certainly play at this level — and did have to compete with Calvert-Lewin last season. My fellow season-ticket holder Matt points out that West Ham have never had a player called Joel and in the space of a few days now have two in Joel Piroe and Joel Veltman. Billy Joel might be arriving next.

So let's see what Charlton can do on Saturday when confronted with a full house at the London Stadium. The rebuild is still underway, but we have to pick up points at home. COYI!

Engels arrives to improve condition of the East London working classes

West Ham seem to have finally got their man with Arne Engels having a medical after the club agreed a £22m fee with Celtic, rising to £25m with add-ons — a record signing for the Championship. Bids for Lenin and Marx have not as yet been accepted, though admittedly these might be a hard sell in Clacton. But full marks to the club for only signing players with an eye to headlines for this blog.

Nils Koppen has made a big effort to sign him and presumably Nuno sees him as performing a similar role too Mateus Fernandes. He's billed as a right-sided midfielder who can also play at right-back. As he won't be replacing Jarrod Bowen he'll presumably be alongside him on the centre right of midfield. Looking at the videos, which is never entirely reliable, he seems to be a hard-working box-to-box midfielder who is good at receiving the ball and turning. He's scored a few goals for Celtic and can also take decent corners. Arne is a famous Belgian who has won the league with Celtic, which is certainly an improvement on signing players from relegated clubs. He should have a winning mentality. Will we be loving Engels instead? Let's hope so.

Wisdom of Solomon?

So Manor Solomon has arrived from Spurs for £5 million with £2 million extra if West Ham get promoted. Football wise he solves a problem on the left wing. Always thought he looked pretty handy at Fulham when he scored five goals in 25 appearances, many as a sub, during the 2022-23 season. He won the league three times with Shakhtar Donetsk in Ukraine. What will have impressed the club most is the role he played in winning Leeds the Championship title in 2024-25, scoring ten goals and getting 12 assists. He's a fine crosser and good at drifting in at the back post. Solomon can clearly do it at Championship level. Manor didn't have much of a look-in at Spurs last season and was loaned to Villareal and Fiorentina, scoring there goals and getting a few more assists despite mainly being a sub.

Politically, buying Solomon will be controversial after Israel's decimation of Gaza. He did his national service in the Israeli Defence Force in 2017, but wouldn't have had any choice in that. Solomon also posted support for his country and the victims of the Hamas atrocities on October 7th which is understandable and claims not to have made any anti-Palestine statements. I'm not sure what else he has said online, though he's apparently been pro-Israel in the war, but as a general principle it would be wrong to hold any one Israeli citizen accountable for the genocidal actions of Netanyahu's government. Solomon has said he doesn't want to talk about politics on signing for West Ham and that seems best for all as the last thing the cub needs is more controversy. He's a footballer primarily and joins Eyal Berkovic and Yossi Benayoun in the list of Israeli Hammers. Let's see what he can do.

Taty and Bowen see off Pompey

West Ham United 3 Portsmouth 1 (Carabao Cup, first round)

"Only Jesus can save you," read the banners held by the God Squadders outside Stratford station, which is a little pessimistic for a new season. In the Best Meze Cafe are Matt and Lisa, fresh from a safari in Tanzania where they saw three lions but missed the World Cup semi-final. After special pleading we are allowed to order off the breakfast menu and our food arrives with unusual alacrity. 

Outside the London Stadium they're no longer selling programmes, while inside the official programme tent has sold out. A lad is dispatched to get extra boxes and after a ten-minute wait I finally get my programme with Lamadrid on the front but no column from any of our numerous owners. Worryingly we're 21st after no games in the first published league table of the season.

We're joined by Nigel and CQ soaking up the big-game atmosphere. It's a record attendance of 53,369 for a League Cup first round tie and yet more proof of the West Ham' fans incredible loyalty.

A nice surprise is seeing Edson Alvarez in midfield. If we can keep him the big Mexican World Cup star can surely do a job in the Championship and he's ok here. David Sullivan is at the match and is informed by the fans that the Cockney Boys have got a new defender.

It's a nervy first 40 minutes from the Hammers as Portsmouth force several corners. Alvarez gets in a header straight at the keeper from a corner, but Kante looks out of position on the left and Orford isn't seeing much of the ball. The hydration break comes as a relief, though most West Ham fans seem to have hydrated on beer. "You sold your soul for this shithole!" chant the 9000 away fans, not very originally. Meanwhile Matt has had his first doubts of the season about the match day officials.

Pompey take the lead when Kilman heads clear but Segecic shoots from long-range and it deflects in off the unlucky Max. Hermansen spills but retrieves another long-range effort and that seems to wake West Ham up.

Two minutes before the break Orford does well to find Scarles on the left. He plays it to Kante who drives into the box and produces a great pull-back to bamboozle his man and then crosses for Taty Castellanos to score with a controlled finish. That was the 20-year-old Kante's first assist and a sign of the player he could become.

Deep into added time Scarles does well to head Alvarez's long ball back to Pablo. After a quick exchange of passes Pablo blunders into the box and slightly overruns it, but there is Jarrod Bowen to thump home a fine strike that takes a deflection off Shaughnessy. That's an assist for Pablo which might do his confidence some good.

At half-time Matt is amazed when Nigel goes early and eats his lucky banana, but the lad is undoubtedly feeling confident and even suggests that soft fruit might not affect the outcome. Meanwhile CQ has miraculously found some cups and free club water which she dispenses like a latter-day Florence Nightingale.

The Irons start the second half with good intensity and Walker-Peters and Bowen combine well on the right as Taty is foiled by a fine block from Devlin. KWP and Jarrod combine again on 50 minutes as Jarrod looks up to cross on to the head of Castellanos to make it 3-1.

The game is disjointed after that, with injuries and hydration breaks and one Pompey effort going just wide. Ward-Prowse gets his first minutes under Nuno and doesn't seem too popular with the away fans.

Orford forces a save from Schmid. Veltman comes on for ten minutes and looks lively on the right. His run sees Pablo, under pressure, strike the post. Will the Portugeezer ever score for West Ham? Late on Max Kilman, who has played well, makes a great interception and run from defence to set up Kyle Walker-Peters whose shot is well saved by Schmidt. It's good to see Josh Ajala get his debut for the final two minutes.

We hastily trek to the Eagle after persuading Matt not to take on the Pompey away crew. Here there's a solitary bottle of Ruddles in the fridge, plus Guinness, wine and Corona to take into the garden. Nigel's been to see Metallica in Cardiff and even better another heavy metal outfit called the Wurzels. While Matt's very excited to be going to Erith & Belvedere versus Billingshurst in the FA Cup and Lisa reminisces about giraffes, a bloat of hippos, hyenas and jackals in the Serengeti.

So a decent start to the season though the squad needs more signings. The full-backs played well, Kilman and the Greek Bloke looked solid at the back and Taty and Bowen will always score goals. Kante got an assist and Orford grew into the game though a midfield creator and a left winger are still needed. Now the proper stuff starts at Burnley. Come on you Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Walker-Peters 7, Kilman 7, Mavropanos 6, Scarles 7; Alvarez 6 (Diouf 6), Orford 6, Kante 6 (Ward-Prowse 6); Bowen 8 (Ajana n/a), Castellanos 8 (Veltman 7), Pablo 6.

The Cockney Boys have got a defender

West Ham have finally made our second signing of the summer in Joel Veltman on a free from Brighton. At 34 he's not one for the future, but can certainly do a job for the coming season. I've seen him score against West Ham (most players have) in the 4-0 defeat at Brighton in 2023 and Veltman is a good solid Premier League defender. He made 24 appearances for Brighton last season and helped them finish eighth and qualify for the Uefa Conference League. He's won three titles with Ajax, has 28 international caps with the Netherlands and should provide leadership and experience at the back. Veltman can play at both right-back and centre back which will provide competition to Walker-Peters, Mavropanos and Kilman.

Meanwhile Freddie Potts has gone to Bruges for £10 million. It's always sad to see an Academy player go particularly when he's the son of Steve Potts. It's a little surprising he's been let go, but the money will count as pure profit and suggests that Nuno is confident of signing Engels from Celtic. The gaffer clearly sees potential in 20-year-old Mohamadou Kante in central midfield while Magassa will hopefully thrive in a lower division and Soucek will return at some stage. Then there's Lewis Orford and James Ward-Prowse might be back in favour too. Potts will be a steady midfielder for Bruges but could have struggled for game time this season, so his departure might be good for his career.

Meanwhile Kretinsky and Amanda Staveley are locked in a two-month battle to buy WHU shares, with David Sullivan possibly deciding who gets ultimate control and becoming even richer in the process. It's not great to have even more uncertainty, but there's £155 million banked and several more signings required. Let's hope Veltman is the first of many.

Deal or no deal? Staveley overtakes Kretinsky in fight for Gold shares?

Just when West Ham needed clarity on who runs the club the news comes that Vanessa Gold has now decided to sell her shares to Amanda Staveley, influential deal-maker with the Middle East and former part-owner of Newcastle United, plus her husband the Iranian businessman Mehrdad Ghodoussi, in partnership with Ashland Forest Capital Partners, whoever they might be. In June it was announced that Gold was selling to Kretinsky to make him the majority shareholder; now Vanessa Gold says that this deal, “could not be brought to fruition”. 

Meanwhile Kretinsky’s camp state that pre-emption rights still allow him to bid for Gold’s shares. A West Ham statement says this will take two months to sort out: “The proposed transaction will now be subject to a pre-emption rights process. This provides all existing shareholders with the opportunity to acquire their proportional percentage of shares in round one, and any remaining shares in round two. This process will take approximately two months and, until it is completed, nothing will change regarding the ownership structure of the Club.”

A spokesman for Kretinsky said: "The agreement we had reached with the Gold family in June provided stability for the club at a crucial time. Today's announcement does the opposite.

Staveley is certainly an interesting character. She is the daughter of wealthy Yorkshire businessman, went to private school and dropped out of Cambridge University. She then set up a restaurant called Stocks, close to Newmarket racecourse, through which she made contacts with lots of wealthy Middle Eastern racehorse owners. 

TALK OF THE TOON

Staveley founded a failed company called Q.ton, then moved to Dubai and advised on a number of big deals including Abu Dhabi investment in Barclays, Abu Dhabi’s ownership of Manchester City and the the Saudi Arabian Public Investment Fund’s purchase of Newcastle, which was criticised for sportswashing. 

She also made a bid for Spurs and once dated Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, facts which are probably best left off her CV. With gaffs in Park Lane and Dubai she presumably won’t be eating in the Best Meze Cafe before games. She’s also been diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease, a condition made worse by stress, so West Ham might not be the wisest move.

Judging by her time at Newcastle Staveley is good at fronting a club and not a woman to be messed with. But can she work with Kretinsky if her bid is successful? Meanwhile David Sullivan is still the club’s biggest shareholder.

On the football front West Ham have had a bid for Engels knocked back by Celtic. He’s reportedly checking out the condition of the working class in Essex before deciding if he wants to move to Das Kapital. In the 1-1 draw at Magdeburg Kante looked quite strong and effective in a central midfield role and Mavropanos and Kilman did well at the back, though it’s hard to read much into these games. Meanwhile Freddie Potts looks to be on his way to Bruges. 

But most of the interesting stuff is happening off the pitch. Will the ownership battle affect the players? We have to hope not. Would Staveley try to bring in her old gaffer Eddie Howe? The last thing the club needs is two months of not knowing who is really in charge.

Massive: The Miracle of Prague by Pete May is available from Biteback Publishing, price 12.99