Fernandes off to Spurs for £85 million

So Mateus Fernandes is leaving for Spurs for £85 million. No-one likes selling players but West Ham have got the price they wanted. A shame it’s Spurs, but this is a pretty good deal. Fernandes is a really good player, but he’s also been relegated in successive seasons and is not the finished article yet. He’s still prone to giving away dangerous free-kicks outside his own box and needs to improve his finishing, witness the chance that was saved by Raya against Arsenal. 

He’s certainly got brilliant potential and really prospered when Paqueta left and he was the main creator in the side, but I’d put his current value at about £60 million. We paid £38 million for him year ago and sold him for £85 million so that’s a tidy gain of £47 million. It’s not often West Ham make that kind of profit so let’s give poor old Graham Potter a bit of credit for signing him. 

Not all will be happy. As my pal Lisa says we should stop selling players to Spurs as they keep breaking them, as in Mo Kudus. All we can hope is that Fernandes can achieve a hat-trick of relegations with Tottenham.

Much will depend on how West Ham spend the money this summer. Jimmy Summerville is likely to go to and will get a good price following his fine World Cup. Todibo will definitely go and possibly Wan-Bissaka, though please not Jarrod Bowen. We’ve got to hope that with a new director of football appointed soon and no interference from David Sullivan, recruitment might become less scattergun. So far Disasi has returned to Chelsea, Traore has been released and the kid from Caracas Kieber Lamadrid has signed for around £1 million. 

Off the pitch things are improving. Boyle Sports is continuing with its sponsorship and the club is consulting over a new badge, a shrewd PR move after Sullivan and Brady dumped the Boleyn Castle and plonked “London” on the crest. But we now need players. It’s not long till the August kick-off and with money in the bank the Hammers have to start a serious rebuild.

Kretinsky in control

Well, it's got to be good news that David Sullivan is being edged out at West Ham. Daniel Kretinsky is buying more shares from the Gold family, which would take his stake up to 43 per cent through 1890 Holdings, which is part of EP. 

The club statement claims the board did not know the extent of the allegations against Sullivan — which he denies — until Monday's Panorama was broadcast. That statement from Kretinsky and Vanessa Gold says the right things: “We were deeply concerned by the revelations made by The Times and Panorama this week and our thoughts go out to those women who have fought so hard to make their voices heard. Any abuse of power is abhorrent, and it takes great courage and determination to speak up against it."

On a football level it seems encouraging that Kretinsky wants to, "stabilise West Ham United, retain as many of our key players as possible and, under the management of Nuno Espírito Santo, secure an immediate return to the Premier League." There is an encouraging line on finance, reading: "As the largest shareholder, group EP will be able to provide the additional financing the club needs."

Importantly all the shareholders, Kretinsky, Vanessa Gold and minority shareholders Tripp Smith, Daniel Harris and Terry Brown, have all said they will vote together, effectively sidelining Sullivan. We do have to remember that Kretinsky is an unknown quantity and gives very little away in public. But he does seem to be professional in his dealings, has never been a pornographer and must have surely despaired over the way West Ham has been run in recent years. There is still a risk David Sullivan could exert a "pre-emptive right" to buy some of the Gold shares to match Kretinsky's share, according to the Times. Yet he must surely realise that his time at West Ham is up. Sponsors will be horrified at what has gone on and the new powers want to unite fans and club and now say they are not going to be forced to sell players. There just might be some hope for the future.

Time for Sully to sell-up

Apart from Panorama's programme on our ex-co-chairman and front-page headlines for all the wrong reasons, plus relegation, no permanent chief executive, no director of football, a £104m loss last year and a likely fire sale, all is going well at West Ham. 

Now comes the news that after FA safeguarding concerns about an historical allegation, Sullivan has not been allowed to have contact with the women's side or youth teams for the past three years. Sullivan denies all the claims, made from the time when he was running the Sunday Sport. My first thought, beyond sympathy for the women involved, is what must the club sponsors and co-owner Daniel Kretinsky make of all this? Boyle Sports has already expressed concern and it comes to something when a gambling company is having ethical doubts.

Martin Samuel has a good summary of the situation in the Times. Sullivan's position is surely untenable after all this and also because he is being ridiculed every game by the fanbase. But the problem is that he still owns 38.8per cent of the club. Daniel Kretinsky is still in the process of trying to up his stake in the club to 40 per cent by buying shares from the Gold family. Sullivan is being investigated by the Football Regulator and it could force him to see his shares, though this might be difficult as he has not been charged by the police with any criminal offence. Otherwise Kretinsky or someone else has to make Sully an offer he can't refuse. Though there's still the risk that he might want to pass on his shares on to his sons.

As Samuel writes, we really do need to hear from the Sphinx, aka Daniel Kretinsky. My hunch is that he is after buying the London Stadium and the land around it and doing some lucrative redevelopments. But how interested is he in the football team and will he put money money into getting WHU promoted? If David Sullivan does sell-up and the Hammers get a new owner then we might at least be entitled to a little optimism.

Sully steps down, Nuno stays and the rebuild starts

Well, it's taken ten days in Italy to try and recover from relegation. Also been touting for West Ham talent in Serie Z with a budget of ten Euros. It was certainly interesting to see the Roman Arena in Verona, which is a little reminiscent of the London Stadium. It's hosted everything from gladiators to opera. No doubt the away fans chanted that the Romans sold their soul for this shithole. Perhaps there were some fans who preferred the old Arena to a corporate bowl, disliked the chariot racing track and wanted Caesar out. 

Sitting on the marble seats and standing in the concourse it's surprising to think how little stadiums have changed in 2000 years, though it's a bit less bloodthirsty these days unless Millwall are playing. Had my fellow season ticket holders Matt and Nigel been around two millennia ago they would have been seeking out obscure arenas for contests between non-league gladiators.

SULLIVAN QUITS

No sooner are we back in Blighty than the news arrives that David Sullivan is stepping down as West Ham chairman to fight "serious historical allegations", which he denies. It's hard to comment further until these allegations are aired on the BBC and in the Times, but in football terms Sullivan going as chairman will be celebrated by most fans. West Ham won a European trophy in 2023 as a positive, but against that must be set two relegations, a £104m loss last year, flip-flopping between contrasting managers and various directors of football, terrible recruitment, allowing David Moyes to go twice, appointing Avram Grant, interfering in transfers, moving the club to a rented stadium that isn't purpose-built for football and allowing the club to be overtaken by Brighton, Bournemouth, Brentford, Fulham and Crystal Palace.

Co-owner Daniel Kretinsky already appears to be taking a more active role by insisting that Nuno stays as manager. Continuity is no bad thing even if Nuno has a worrying tendency to tinker, as at Newcastle and when he played Soucek and Irving in central midfield and inverted the full-backs against Brentford and Leeds. Football is a simple game and sometimes playing people in their best positions is better than trying to go all Guardiola. But Nuno proved himself a decent manager at Wolves and Forest and undoubtedly improved the spirit and performances of West Ham in the latter part of the season.

There's a nucleus of promising youngsters that Nuno selected last season in Kante, Mayers, Scarles, Potts, Orford, Earthy and Marshall. Fernandes and Summerville seem certain to go and Wan-Bissaka, Diouf and Castellanos are attracting interest, while Todibo has to go after his fall-out with Nuno. But with Sullivan gone and Kretinsky or a new co-owner in charge could we keep a core of experienced players not least Jarrod Bowen? Retaining Soucek and the Greek Bloke would give us a chance in the Championship and without Sullivan we might even get a more data-driven recruitment department. Let's get some gladiators in. It's certainly never dull at West Ham.

Just relegation for the claret and blue

West Ham 3 Leeds United 0 

The Best Meze Cafe is serving unusually quickly on a sweltering Survival Sunday, though Nigel is miffed that the breakfast menu is off after 2pm. CQ is wearing her lucky rosary beads, Nigel has his lucky Stranglers bag and banana and I have my lucky West Ham woolly hat, but Matt and Lisa have eschewed lucky Dukla Prague away shirts for civilian attire (though Matt has a t-shirt reading "Don't worry") and Michael has left his lucky Jonathan Spector shirt at home. 

We're joined in the stadium by Big Sam who is up from Wales, plus the bloke who looks like Mark Kermode and our new friend Pebbles and co. Bubbles is particularly loud as we all anxiously scroll for news fromTottenham. Can David Moyes save West Ham a third time? All we can do is try to do our bit and win.

Wan-Bissaka is dropped for Walker-Peters after a poor display at Newcastle while the Sun reports that Todibo has refused to play after a row with Nuno when he was subbed at Newcastle. The £33 million Todibo has fallen out with three managers now and we should clearly sell him, though after this latest outburst who will buy him?

Leeds look pretty up for it as West Ham start nervously. Nmecha miscues a good chance and Hermansen has to make a fine stop with his legs to deny Calvert-Lewin. For the Irons Pablo has a goalbound effort deflected over by Soucek and Fernandes tests Darlow with a long-range effort. Bad news arrives from Spurs just before the break, where Palinha has put them ahead against Everton.

Nigel eats his lucky banana at half-time and Nuno bring on Wilson for Pablo. West Ham look more effective as Wilson sets ups Taty for a chance, only for the striker to slip as he shoots. The breakthrough comes when Walker-Peters forces a corner. Bowen curls over a lovely ball and Castellanos gets above his man too head home at the back post.

We're still relying on Everton scoring twice though. The West Ham fans join the Leeds fans in a chorus of "We sold our soul for this shithole!" Though it's surely not good for morale to be chanting against our own ground. For all its faults the London Stadium has seemed more like home since Christmas with the fans really getting behind the side. The owners are the real problem.

BOWEN BOWEN GONE?

The fans are singing some very rude songs about David Sullivan as Fernandes plays a great through ball to Bowen. Jarrod scores with a lovely finish from a tight angle. We've been saying he looks like he's carrying an injury but he's still got an assist and a goal. Though is this his final goal for the Hammers?

Wilson is denied by a fine save from Darlow. In the 94th minute Callum is set up by Summerville and scores with a rocket from outside the box. The celebrations are muted as Spurs are still winning.

The game ends with nine minutes of added purgatory still being played at Spurs. But there is never much hope Everton will score twice and we're finally relegated on 39 points, the biggest points total of a relegated side since 2011.

The players do a subdued lap of honour with Bowen looking particularly gutted. Relegation really came with the defeats at Brentford and Newcastle. We trudge off to the Eagle reflecting on all the points lost, at home to Forest, away to Wolves, at home to Brentford after Nuno's tinkering, at Chelsea after being two goals up, at home to Fulham. 

Inside the Eagle it's relegation drinks all round, as Lisa tests the bar staff with a request for a spritzer and receives the fanciest glasses in the building. "Who will be our Kevin Nolan in the Championship?" asks a mournful Michael. We're more likely to end up with Coleen Nolan. Nigel informs us that for the first time the Premier League won't have a team in it starting with the letter "W'. Matt stuns everyone with the claim that he used to be a hot air ballooning correspondent, though we think this could be a Call My Bluff-style tall story. He's also also been to see Black Box Recorder, but doesn't think lyrics of, "life is unfair, get over it or kill yourself" could have any relevance to West Ham.

We try to take the positives. We'll get to hear the jokes of Geoff the comedian in the Burnley hospitality lounge again, Nigel's mate Adrian will get him a ticket for Wolves, I'll be able to go to Stoke on a wet Wednesday night, Lincoln is a very nice city, Wrexham will be playing Hollywood balls and Westfield will be looking forward to the visit of Millwall. Even better Nigel has a forthcoming gig to enjoy with scrumpy and Western idols the Wurzels.

Who will be left next season with the club posting debts of £104m last year and a fire-sale inevitable? Will Nuno stay or go? Can the Academy kids be United? At least the hope is over. It's time for a break from football. All we have to do is brave the celebrating Arsenal fans on the tube  home. We'll be back one day and hopefully with new owners. Come on you relegated Irons.

PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Walker-Peters 7, Disasi 6, Mavropanos 7, Diouf 5; Bowen 8, Fernandes 7, Soucek 6, Summerville 7, Pablo 5 (Wilson 7), Castellanos 7 (Kante n/a).

It's the hope we can't take...

Never mind minor events in north London. Just when we're getting used to embracing despair along come Chelsea to offer a glimmer of hope. After Tottenham's unexpected win at a woeful Aston Villa we feared the worst for Spurs' trip to Stamford Bridge. But thankfully they lost 2-1. It could have been different if Cucurella's late wrestling had resulted in a penalty but perhaps that's payback for the VAR decision not to penalise Rice or Trossard against Arsenal.

So now we have to beat Leeds and Spurs must lose at home to Everton. We couldn't could we? It's perhaps a 20 per cent chance of staying up. Leeds have several injuries and are safe, but even so we'd have to improve a lot on the Newcastle performance to win. 

We're relying on David Moyes doing us a massive favour and motivating his side to win at Spurs. But if Everton could get an early goal then the Spurs crowd would get very anxious — and they haven't won at home since December 6th. With Pickford in goal and big lumps like Tarkowski and O'Brien at the back and Beto up front, plus the skilful Dewsbury-Hall, there's some hope. Everton had a decent second half against us a few weeks ago.

But stop, this way madness lies. All West Ham can do is try to win. If we went down with 39 points we could at least claim to be slightly unlucky. It will soon be all over one way or another. Perhaps Spurs could oblige by sending over a spy to our training ground. Come on you Irons and Toffees! 

Early goals plunge West Ham towards the drop

Newcastle United 3 West Ham United 1 

We're off to the not-that-lucky-pub the Floirin for this vital game. In a middle-class football fan crisis I've managed to change my tickets for Churchill's Urinal at the King's Head Theatre to another night and can now make the 5.30pm kick-off. Matt and Lisa are in the pub drinking Guinness with Nigel, carrying his 'lucky' Stranglers bag and an antique Kettering programme featuring loanee Callum Wilson in the line-up.

Nuno has gone for five at the back and surprisingly dropped Taty Castellanos for Callum Wilson. Newcastle put us under pressure from the start and have a handball VAR penalty claim against Soucek, thankfully denied. 

Some say it's best not to concede two early goals in a relegation decider. Hermansen misjudges his throw out to Todibo, who rather than take a yellow card for a foul, allows Barnes to get past him and cross. Soucek has stepped up and away from Woltemade who scores his first goal since December — another striker whose career we have rescued. 

Four minutes later the Toon slice through West Ham, Ramsey has too much space on the right and Osula strolls between the three centre backs to score. Nuno looks like he's about to call the Samaritans. He rips up his game plan after 26 minutes and replaces Todibo with Castellanos. The Irons play better after that. Jimmy Summerville comes alive with a fine dribble that sets up Castellanos who shoots against the keeper. Diouf's follow-up is saved as well. Wilson then misses another inviting Summerville cross.

The second half sees a Fernandes shot straight at the keeper and a desperate Nuno bring on Pablo and Kante for Wan-Bissaka and Soucek, who has been lucky to avoid a red card for kicking Guimaraes. An irate Matt is choking on his Guinness as Diouf's throw-in is miscontrolled by the hapless Pablo, allowing Willock to play a one-two with Osula who bags his second goal to make it 3-0.

Just as it looks game over Hermansen punts a kick down the pitch and Castellanos brilliantly volleys over Pope from 30-yards out. The best goal of the game, though we've relied on a moment of individual brilliance rather than getting anywhere with our team play.

The Irons give it a go after that. Wilson tries to pass instead of shooting and has a penalty claim denied, Bowen fires straight at Pope when well-placed and Taty volleys Diouf's cross against the angle. Castellanos then forces a save from Pope with a back-header from Pablo's ball in to the box.

DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOON

But we're never to claw back a three-goal deficit. The chants of "You're not fit to wear the shirt!" from the away fans aren't really fair, as it's a lack of quality rather than effort that has cost us. And after a good second half of the season the form of players like Diouf, the Greek Bloke and Disasi has suddenly tailed off.

So we're effectively down barring the miracle of Spurs losing twice, and we can't be sure of beating Leeds on this form. The fault is not entirely Nuno's, though he picked the wrong side has been in charge since September, but mainly David Sullivan and the board's for a complete lack of strategy appointing managers and directors of football and some terrible recruitment. We've got some decent players like Bowen, Summerville, Castellanos, Soucek and Fernandes who will surely now be sold off in a WHU fire sale.

As the darkness descends on West Ham Matt, Lisa and Nigel head off to the favourite curry house of the Darkness on Holloway Road. At least West Ham's  rent will go down a couple of million pounds and we'll be able to welcome Millwall. It was the hope we couldn't take, now unless Spurs are caught spying, we can concentrate on the despair.