Magassa earns deserved point at Man United

Manchester United 1 West Ham United 1

It's back to lucky-ish pub the Floirin with Lisa for this one. The Guinness is good as we take our table next to several older MUFC fans in Sharp-sponsored United shirts, gathered to watch their side go fifth if they win. Roy Keane and Super Slaven Bilic are in the studio as Sky seems to focus exclusively on the Mancs pre-match. 

West Ham's bench is packed with kids in the absence of Paqueta, Summerville, Guilherme, Scarles and Fullkrug, while poor old James Ward-Prowse is again persona non grata.

Heaven is booked for clattering Wilson and Diallo dives to try and win a penalty early on. It's soon evident that Aaron Wan-Bissaka has a point to prove to his old employers. He makes a couple of brilliant tackles and gets forward to cross for Mateus Fernandes to have a goalbound shot blocked.

United increase the pressure towards the end of the half with Amad causing Diouf problems. Mbuemo's curling shot is tipped over by Areola. United have a double chance as Zirkzee's shot is cleared off the line by AWB and then Bruno Fernandes volleys just wide. 

But Potts and Magassa are getting in tackles, the Greek Bloke is solid and Todibo is having his best game for West Ham. Shortly before the break Bowen jinks inside three defenders to get a shot away, only for it be half-blocked and gathered by Lammens.

Nuno will be the happier gaffer with 0-0 at the break. The second half sees a great West Ham move as Magassa, Bowen and Wilson combine to release Magassa who fires into the side-netting. But it looks like the usual plucky defeat when Casemiro's mishit shot deflects to Dalot who strokes home.

West Ham show character to keep going and Magassa, Bowen and Wan-Bissaka show real intensity to drive the team forward as Potts has a shot blocked. Mbuemo's dive in the box doesn't fool the ref as Todibo hasn't touched him. Nuno brings on Andy Irving and gives a debut to French youngster Mohamadou Kante - he's certainly not scared of using young players.

MAGIC MAGASSA

The Portobello Pirlo's first act is to curl in a great corner. Bowen gets a flick-on and his header is cleared off the line by Mazraoui. But Soungoutou Magassa is on hand to calmly steer it into the corner. He looks ecstatic to score and races to the away fans. We might have a player here.

On 90 minutes we're treated to a late cameo from DC, arriving straight from work and staying long enough to see Bowen get through and cross across the goalmouth and Bruno Fernandes fire over from Areola's parry during the five minutes of added time.

It's a merited draw in the end. It might not take West Ham out of the bottom three but it's a very encouraging performance. The evening is made better by watching Roy Keane doing his Grinch act in the studio, complaining that United fans are too positive cheering off players who get subbed. "No disrespect to West Ham," he says, before disrespecting West Ham.

A big positive is that our midfield is suddenly young and energetic, with Potts, Magassa and Fernandes all in their early twenties. Callum Wilson has lasted 87 minutes too, though we also need a younger striker in the window to take the pressure off him. I'd keep the same side for the Brighton match even with Paqueta returning after suspension, just to prove that it's not all about him. There were some nice choruses of "Billy Bonds' Claret and Blue Army!" picked up on the TV too. Billy would have approved of the attitude shown at Old Trafford. Irons!

We go 15th! Soucek and Bowen end winless run

Man United 0 West Ham 2 (two)

There's some dismay at Potter's team selection on my West Ham WhatsApp group, with Paqueta and Fullkrug dropped, Rodriguez coming in from the cold, and Cresswell and Coufal playing after it was announced they'd be leaving at the end of the season. Still, what do us fans know?

I'm receiving phone updates while manning the cloakroom at the Islington Boat Club's open day. Early on Wan-Bissaka wins a free kick and Ward Prowse whips in a trademark ball that Kilman heads over when well-placed. For United Diallo cuts inside AWB and forces a decent save from Areola.

Astonishingly West Ham take the lead with a fluid move that has more passes than we can count. Good work from Ward-Prowse, Cresswell and Wan-Bissaka sees Mo Kudus race down the left and cross low into the box. Tomas Soucek gets there before Amass and flicks home, then does a thumb in mouth celebration to mark the birth of his new son, who is probably already heading his cot.

Nigel is forced to delete a message asking that with West Ham leading "what could possibly go wrong?" as the Irons go in1-0 up at the interval against a soporific United. 

The Hammers remain solid at the back and quick on the break. Kudus sets up Ward-Prowse for a shot straight at Bayindir. The second goal arrives as Ugarte claims a foul when dispossessed by Wan-Bissaka and then fails to play to the whistle. Mo Kudus runs at the defence, doesn't pass to Bowen when he should, fires into a defender and sees the ball deflect to Wan-Bissaka. His low cross is calmly turned home by Jarrod Bowen who runs to celebrate with the away section.

It gets seriously worrying with a two-goal lead to defend and Bowen and Kudus taken off. Luckily I'm distracted by paddleboarders and kayakers wanting their bags back as the minutes tick slowly by. Garnacho can't get on the end of a decent cross, Hojlund fires at Areola's feet in a one-on-one, Maguire heads at the keeper and Areola makes a great reaction save on his line to deny Hojlund.

It could even be 3-0 as Ward-Prowse pounces on some slack defending and sees Bayindir pull off a good save with his outstretched boot. Finally West Ham's winless spell of right games is ended and we've done the double over a poor United side. We go 15th above both the Europa League finalists.

The performance wasn't as defensive as some feared and it was interesting to see Ward-Prowse get forward more. Potter was proved right in opting for a workmanlike side with Kudus and Bowen as speedy wide strikers, the wing-back system worked and this was more like it. With a nervy Nottingham Forest and relegated Ipswich to come let's hope we can end the season on a high. 

Hammers pay for missed chances

Manchester United 3 West Ham 0 

The formation looks better for this one with Phillips dropped, Aguerd back and Emerson and Coufal/Johnson playing as wing backs. The Irons start pretty well with Onana making a fine save to deny Alvarez's header from a corner that Soucek has headed across goal. Areola has to make a flying save to deny Bruno Fernandes from distance and a JWP free-kick hits the wall from a promising position.

But we're behind after 23 minutes.Casemiro wins a tackle in midfield and Hojlund twists inside Aguerd to fire a powerful shot into the corner. There's a decent response from West Ham but without the killer touch. Soucek has an effort deflected wide. Ben Johnson, who is seeing a lot of the ball and having a good game, has a low short saved by Onana. While Avarez's header flashes across goal from a late corner. 

Areola goes off at half time having been caught by Zouma, and on comes Fabianski. The key moment sees Emerson get through after a mistake by Maguire and blaze wide when he could have shot on target or crossed. United go straight down the other end and score, Garnacho's shot taking a wicked deflection off Aguerd. Emerson could certainly have been tighter. Garnacho then makes it worse by nicking Mo Kudus' celebration and sitting on the hoardings.

Rashford fires wide then two more chances arrive for the Irons, Emerson gets through again but fires straight at the keeper. Alvarez has played well and sends a great ball through to Bowen, who hesitates a second too long in front of goal and allows Dalot to make a great block.

Kalvin Phillips comes on for Soucek and is caught in possession, allowing Garnacho to be set up for number three and it's all over. Phillips will get sharper but again a mistake has been punished with a goal. United have played well, but this wasn't a 3-0 game. With better finishing WHU could have got something from this. Improvement is needed in both boxes but for long periods we actually played quite well.

Out of the Cup after late United revival

Manchester United 3 West Ham 1 (FA Cup)

It seems like a good time to be playing a below full-strength United side, distracted by a Carabao Cup win. Sabitzer tests Areola early on but West Ham have the better of the first half. A great ball from Benrahma releases Antonio, but he never looks like scoring in a one-on-one with De Gea and waits too long before shooting against the keeper. An Emerson cross fizzes across the goal with Fornals standing still and that moment reveals just why we need Danny Ings in the side to gamble and get in the box.

Casemiro comes on for United at half-time as Ten Hag gets worried. The Irons take a deserved lead as United appeal that the ball has gone out for a throw. Soucek just keeps the ball in play and finds Emerson. The left-back passes to Benrahma who arrows a great effort into the top corner. The 4000 away fans celebrate and dream of another Di Canio-esque Cup win at Old Trafford.

All seems to be going to plan. Fornals hits a low cross across goal with no-one there to tap it home, then Antonio does well to beat Martinez for speed but, perhaps haunted by his first half miss, instead of crossing he fires against De Gea's legs. Two fine saves from De Gea but Antonio seems to have lost the art of good decision-making when given time in the box. It proves costly.

Rashford is now on and Casemiro has a header disallowed correctly for offside. On 77 minutes United win a corner after a miskick by Aguerd. Areola comes but fails to clean out his defenders and Nayef Aguerd back-heads the ball into his own net. Sod it.

The game looks to be going into extra-time with 90 minutes gone, but Weghorst's shot deflects to Garnacho on the edge of the box. Johnson could be a but tighter and the winger curls a great finish into the far corner. United score an undeserved third in the fifth minute of extra time when poor old Aguerd makes a hash of a routine clearance and Fred strikes home.

On ITV we then get to see Roy Keane patronise West Ham just to make it a bit worse. So our FA Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's gaff in Kew is cancelled for the 17th season running. It's not the despair, etc. A good performance for 77 minutes but if you don't take your chances against top sides and then give them an own goal this is the result.

Hammers draw blank against inspired De Gea

Manchester United 1 West Ham 0 

We seem to have perfected the art of losing unluckily by one goal to the top six clubs. The first 37 minutes saw United restricted to a couple of efforts from Ronaldo and Rashford that were comfortably dealt with by Fabianski. Benrahma almost got through on a couple of occasions, but it was generally unambitious fare from the Hammers, who seemed to be playing in Blackpool's discarded kit.

Flynn Downes is a promising holding midfielder but plays virtually every ball backwards to Rice — playing him in the number ten role seems bizarre when Antonio, Fornals or Lanzini would be a much better fit. The goal arrives when Eriksen collects a throw-in and spins in a lovely cross for Rashford to get ahead of Kehrer and power home a header.

Areola has to come on for the injured Fabianski and after picking up a silly booking and then making a rash challenge Scamacca is taken off for his own protection. Antonio makes a difference with his hold-up play and for the final half an hour the Hammers give it a real go. Dalot has to make a great defensive header to thwart Antonio, and then Michail tests De Gea with a long-range piledriver.

De Gea then produces a great flying save to deny Zouma who has got his head on Cresswell's cross. Fred heads against the post at the other end, but still West Ham come forward. Fornals, on for Downes, does really well to pull the ball back for Bowen's goalbound shot to be deflected wide by Harry Maguire.

In the last action of the day Benrahma's run causes panic and Rice sends in a hypersonic missile of a shot that De Gea somehow tips wide. WHU really should have got a point from this and you have to hope that at some point our luck will turn in front of goal.

So that's unlucky defeats at Chelsea, Liverpool and United. At least we have the chance to get some revenge at the London Stadium after the World Cup. And to look on the bright side, Michail Antonio had a good game as a pundit on Match of the Day 2. It's not a time for panic, but Moyes needs to restore some adventure, get Paqueta fit and consider playing Scamacca and Antonio together against Palace.

Fergie-time heartbreak at Old Trafford

Manchester United 1 West Ham 0

Luckily I was in Leicester for this one, visiting the Space Centre (strangely no mention of former rocket scientist Iain Dowie) and the King Richard III Visitor Centre - he too was cut down at the death and there was a long VAR dispute about the whereabouts of his body. 

In a game of few chances Bowen hit the side netting and Varane headed a good chance wide, while Areola, in for the injured Fabianski, made a decent stop from Fred. The Hammers almost win in it in added time when Soucek's header from a corner drifts just past the post. 

It looks like being a dour draw and a decent point, but a combination of errors in the 94th minute result in the winner. Bowen loses the ball, sub Fredericks mistimes a header and Cresswell is sleeping at the far post as Rashford nicks in the winner from Cavani's cross. To make it worse there's a VAR pause and Cavani's arm is just offside. Yet VAR allows it in another decision favouring the famous clubs. Surely this goal should be referred to Sue Gray?

Realistically WHU will do well to make the top eight and Spurs and Arsenal have games in hand. It was positive to see Soucek and Zouma return, while Benrahma is also coming home, yet our season risks being derailed — and Rice leaving — if Moyes and the board don't act. We need a second striker and a centre back. Never mind the talk of staying calm — we need panic signings and soon!

Lanzini earns Irons historic win at Old Trafford

Man United 0 West Ham 1 (Carabao Cup)

It's off to Mabel's Tavern to watch West Ham Reserves take on Man United with Lisa and Fraser. The line-ups look ominous with United having Sancho, Lingard and Martial up front. But from the start WHU's squad players look up for it and Bowen is buzzing around effectively up front. 

Kral has a shot blocked and after nine minutes Fredericks nutmegs Mata before racing to the byline and pulling back for Lanzini to score. Manuel's first goal since his rocket against Spurs.

United come at West Ham after that but Diop and Dawson both have great games at the back. Areola misses a cross resulting in Mata volleying against the bar, but after that proves an athletic keeper, foiling Lingard's low strike and in the second half saving with his feet from Greenwood when the United sub is through. Lingard has a theatrical penalty claim turned down after Noble clutches his shirt.

The loss of Fredericks and Lanzini to injury doesn't affect West Ham, while Matic is lucky to stay on after a knee in the groin to Coufal. Even sub Bruno Fernandes can't affect the game. At the end West Ham could score more. Yarmolenko hits the post when he should score after a fine move. Noble shoots at the keeper after being played in by Bowen and then Jarrod fires another low effort at De Gea.

It's such a shock that we have to order some more Neck Oil. The celebrations from Noble and the players at the end show just what a great team spirit Moyes has engendered. It's not easy to win away in front of 72,000 fans. Who would have thought that our reserves would prove better than Man United's? West Ham's first win at Old Trafford since 2007. Which leaves Moyes with some nice selection problems for Saturday. Irons!

A timid defeat at United

Man United 1 West Ham 0

Every West Ham fan must have felt depressed an hour before kick-off reading the team line-up. For all the brave talk of challenging the top four Moyes reverted to a defensive line-up and trying to sneak a point. Five at the back can be attacking if the full-backs get forward but Mark Noble can only play if he replaces Rice or Soucek. The combination of Rice, Soucek and Noble leaves the side massively lacking in creativity. It didn't work against Chelsea or Brighton and it didn't work here. What are the coaches at West Ham doing? Surely they should be asking of Moyes: "Do you think that's awfully wise, Captain?"

The spoiling tactics worked in the first half, though West Ham did not have a shot on target. United, who played on Thursday in Europe, couldn't bypass West Ham's block and their best effort saw a Greenwood effort brilliantly turned on to the post by Fabianski.

But with no Benrahma or Lanzini in the team to provide an attacking outlet the relentless United pressure was always going to tell. Disappointingly the goal came from a corner with Dawson heading into his own net after seeing the ball late and getting a nudge from Maguire. 

Moyes brought on Benrahma and Lanzini for Noble and Johnson but it was too late. The Hammers improved, but too often the cross into the box was poor. United almost scored a second when Greenwood fired against the post. The result was never really in doubt and no shots on target in the game was embarrassing. 

The ineligible Lingard and the injured Fornals were both missed, but Moyes is showing too much respect to the big name clubs. Yes, United scored nine against Southampton, and we kept them down to one, but a side going for the top four should have shown much more ambition. Great progress has been made this season but Moyes and the players have to do much better against Arsenal.

Concentrating on the League

Man United 1 West Ham 0 (FA Cup, after extra time)

At least this was on BBC1 so no logging on to Sky or BT, though a tedious match probably had millions switching over to ITV. It was a great defensive performance from the Hammers marred by any lack of penetration going forward. Selecting Mark Noble, who did ok, seemed massively over-cautious when Benrahma was on the bench and without Antonio few fans held out much hope.

Ogbonna was crocked making a goal-saving tackle on Martial, so Diop came on who was then felled after a clash of heads with Martial. Issa then had to go off at half-time to be replaced by the first concussion substitute. The only big chance of the first half came when Fabianski made a great save to turn away Lindelof's deflected header. 

With Ben Johnson and Fredericks on as subs the Irons at least improved a bit and got in a few crosses. But the second half was nearly all United pressure even if they looked out-of-sorts. Fabianski made one good block from Rashford. Yarmolenko, who had little change from Maguire, ended up getting injured and being replaced by Odubeko. It was a big ask for the youngster to take on Lindelof and Maguire and he made little impact.

The efficient West Ham defence held on for 0-0 at full-time and in the absence of Ogbonna and Diop, Craig Dawson had a magnificent game at centre back and almost connected with a late corner. Sign him up quick. But we were always likely to lose it in extra-time and so it proved. Rice mis-controlled on the edge of United's area and the Reds broke. After a goalmouth melee Rashford touched the ball back to sub McTominay who drove home first-time.

The game ended with sub Odubeko subbed by Lanzini and Benrahma at least having a header saved by De Gea, though he was probably offside. And so the Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's gaff in Kew Gardens has to wait — again. We'll all be as old as Captain Tom by the time it happens. 

It's still mystifying why Moyes didn't bring in a loan striker in the window. It's right he doesn't want to waste millions on a keep-the-fans-happy stopgap, but a loan signing would have been no risk. That decision effectively sabotaged the FA Cup run and he now has to buy the right long-term striker in the summer. 

Perhaps Lingard returning will make a difference and Antonio is just 'fatigued' and will survive the rest of the season. West Ham can certainly defend these days but the end of the season is very much depending on one man's hamstrings.

We were robbed…

Manchester United 2 West Ham 1

It's in to the World's End to watch this one on the TV while I recover from painful dental surgery — and now have another tooth to grind while watching West Ham. Nigel's up in Manchester with his mate Reg, who needs to visit Old Trafford to complete his 90th ground. He reports lots of tourists and half and half scarves.

The Hammers start well as United look jaded. Anderson scores with a twisting volley in the box only to see it ruled out for offside. Replays later suggest Dalot' is playing him onside, though it's a tight call. Then United get a very soft penalty as Snodgrass lightly brushes Mata who collapses in a heap. Pogba duly scores. But even so the Irons continue to attack and force a series of corners, with Rice, Lanzini and Anderson starting to dominate midfield. Anderson sees a header just miss and a low cross saved by De Gea's foot.

Early in the second half the Hammers score a deserved equaliser as Lanzini's cross is swept home at the far post by a gleeful Anderson for his first goal in 14 games. It's the Irons' first away goal this year from open play.

Rashford improves United a little and forces a fine low save from Fabianski. But then it gets silly. Sub Antonio powers through the home defence and whacks the bar. Then a few minutes later Antonio's downward header is sensationally tipped over the bar by De Gea.

At this point my inner pessimist starts to think that as we should be 3-1 up we'll probably go and lose it. Sure enough, Martial gets free in the box and sub Fredericks brings him down with a late tackle, although he does nick a little bit of the ball. With hindsight Pellegrini should have kept Zabaleta on, who was having a good game. Pogba dispatches his second penalty. Still we force a few late corners but United limp home.

West Ham should never have lost this and had no luck at all, but it was a much improved performance. Though where it came from escapes me. But at least it gives us some hope for the final four matches. Irons!

Concentrating on the League…

Ken Lucas, Pete, Fraser and Matt

Manchester United 4 West Ham 1 (EFL Cup)

The best part of the evening is the pre-match drinks to celebrate the launch of Goodbye to Boleyn upstairs at the Freemasons Arms. Selected WHU fans are present and we're graced by the presence of Ken Lucas, the owner of Ken's Cafe, along with his son and grandsons. Speech over, it's on to the live match on Sky.

United's incisive football causes West Ham instant problems and the Reds take the lead after two minutes as Rooney finds Mkhitaryan whose clever back heel plays in Ibrahimovic. The big Swede skips past the falling Antionio and prods past Adrian, getting clattered in the process. 

The West Ham keeper has to make a fine double stop, then tips away Rooney's free kick and stops a Martial shot. But slowly West Ham get back into it and on 35 minutes Obiang finds Payet on the left. Dimitri's shot is parried by De Gea straight to Fletcher, who scores his first Hammers goal. "Ashley Fletcher he left 'cos you're shit!" chant the loud Hammers contingent.

Worryingly Cresswell has to go off injured at half-time and West Ham again concede an early goal after the break. Valencia back heels to Mkhitaryan on the left and his pull back is dispatched by the unmarked Martial as the West Ham defence ballwatches. It's 3-1 after 62 minutes as Ibrahimovic dissects the West Ham defence with a superb pass to find Valencia who crosses for Martial, again unmarked, to stroke home. 

West Ham effectively give up on the game by taking off Payet as Feghouli fires over when he should score and sub Zaza hits a shot into touch. Adrian keeps the score down with a great save from Ibrahimovic. The exiled Schweinsteiger comes on gets a big cheer from the home fans and shoots just wide before Herrera sets up Ibrahimovic for the fourth with the last kick of the game.

United have played really well, but it's a deeply disappointing second half from West Ham. We've certainly missed the rested Mark Noble in midfield. Admittedly Sunday's point at  Old Trafford is more use than a cup run in our position, but had West Ham progressed we'd have played Hull in the semi-final. So we'll just have to win the FA Cup now…

Great point for Hammers at Old Trafford

Manchester United 1 West Ham United 1

A great point at Old Trafford and as a bonus Jose Mourinho was sent off again by referee Jonathan Moss. The same ref sent Mourinho off when Chelsea lost 2-1 at Upton Park last season and Jose was taunted in the stand by royal supporter Danny Dyer. 

Finally a West Ham forward has scored this season with Diafra Sakho diving to head home Payet's free kick after two minutes. Collins lost Ibrahimovic for the equaliser, but listening to the match on Radio London it was a well-deserved draw and our fans were loud throughout — particularly the instruction to "f••k off Mourinho!" 

Darren Randolph had to make several fine saves most notably from Rashford and Lingard, but West Ham could have won it late on when Antonio brke fro his own area and sub Ashley Fletcher forced a fine save from De Gea. Sounds like Antonio had a great game on the right and Ogbonna and Kouyate did really well too. This result could be a significant psychological boost after the defeat at Tottenham as it's the first time this season WHU have taken a point off one of the top six. And for once I'm looking forward to watching Match of the Day.

Plucky United take mighty West Ham to replay

Man United 1 West Ham 1 (FA Cup)

“We’ve got Payet!” echoes around Euston as it’s on to an utterly packed 11.20 train to Manchester. Seems like all 9,000 West Ham fans are on this particular train and I have to stand all journey. Next to me are two computer geeks, a Frenchman and American, who don’t really like football but have been offered free corporate prawn sandwiches by the Mancs.

From Manchester Piccadilly it’s on the X50 bus to Old Trafford. Outside the Bishop Blaize pub there’s a flag reading “Chelmsford Reds”  — some of United’s more local fans. Inside the stadium the 9,000 West Ham fans are making a lot of noise and seem to think that we have acquired a Reunion midfielder. I’m with Big Joe’s mate John and his son and the atmosphere is hugely expectant.

West Ham start really confidently, with the excellent Noble again looking worthy of an England call-up. Andy Carroll plays Emineke through and the striker hits it wide when he should surely score. Creswell crosses for Carroll to head powerfully over from a long way out and then another excellent move involving Noble, Payet and Cresswell sees Emenike head Aaron’s cross into De Gea’s arms. Carroll would surely have buried that one. United look stodgy going forward, and their best effort sees Herrera balloon over when well-placed.

CARLOS TEVEZ — HE LEFT 'COS YOU'RE S**T!

West Ham continue to play well in the second half as Reid makes a great block, with United claiming handball (it bounced off his thigh on to this elbow). Payet pokes the ball past the immobile Fellaini and goes down in the box under a challenge from Rojo. It looks a clear penalty, though replays later show that after minimal contact, Payet dived, which I don’t like to see and Dmitri’s surely better than that. It could have been a second yellow too for Payet as he’d been booked in the first half.

The West Ham fans amuse themselves with chants of, “Carlos Tevez - he left ’cos you’re shit!” 

On 68 minutes Payet wins a free-kick some 30 yards from United’s goal. Surely he can’t score from here? Dimitri pings in a sumptuous free kick that goes up and over the wall and into the net off the post, before running to the far corner. Brilliant. On this form he could both defeat Donald Trump and bring peace to Syria. Cue lots of backslapping and we’ve got Payeting in the away end.

It looks like a famous victory, though United improve when the bring on Schweinsteiger. Bilic still goes for the second, bringing on Sakho and Valencia.

It’s never easy at Old Trafford though. Herrera gets in a cross from the right, and Martial gets in at the far post to head in from a narrow angle. The replays show that Schweinsteiger barges Randolph into the net as he goes for the cross and the goal should not have stood

Commendably West Ham still think they can win at at the end, wining a series of corners. Antonio takes the ball from the corner flag and dribbles into the box before sending in a low shot that De Gea pushes wide at full-stretch. Great effort.

“Is there a fire drill?” chant the Irons fans at the Mancs heading for the Lancashire Silverlink.

WE'LL RACE YOU BACK TO LONDON!

The whistle blows and although it’s a chance lost it’s a final FA cup game at Upton Park. Still, it’s nice for a small club like United to get the money from a replay.

“We’ll race you back to London!” chant the West Ham fans as the United fans leave. The same chant is heard at the tram station along with “My name is Ludek Miklosko…” and, ”Oh Christian Dailly you are the love of my love!”

There’s time for a pint of Pendle Witches Brew in the Piccadilly pub and some food in Go Falafel (falafel in Manchester?) before arriving at Piccadilly station, where there’s a huge crush as the transport police put everyone in a queue outside the glass doors rather than let them on to the platform. It’s gets angry and nasty as a big crush develops, but after a 40-minute wait and chants of “you don’t know what you’re doing!”, some knocked over barriers and a punch thrown by a policeman we eventually get through to make the 8.20 train.

At least there’s a seat on the way home and a chance to reflect upon a very encouraging performance. Watford, Palace and Everton await the winners of the replay. Is there one more glory night at Upton Park to come?

PLAYER RATINGS: Randolph 7; Antonio 7, Ogbonna 7, Reid 7 (Obiang 6), Cresswell 8; Lanzini 6, Noble 8, Kouyate 7, Payet 8; Emenike 5 (Sakho 5), Carroll 7 (Valencia 5).

Is this the Emirates?

Manchester United 0 West Ham United 0

Away in Rye in Sussex celebrating our wedding anniversary for this one, but did manage to get the score after climbing St Mary's church tower and Ypres Tower and visiting the Mermaid Inn. Watching Match of the Day on a romantic Sunday morning it's clear West Ham had the best chances and were unlucky not to win. Moses hit the keeper in a one-on-one chance early on following Noble's fine through ball, Zarate headed against the post after De Gea fumbled a cross and Winston Reid hit the post with a great header from a corner.

The best chance of all came in the second half when from Antonio's first-time cross, Andy Carroll found Zarate with a great flick only for the Hammers striker to skew a great chance wide. Adrian did have to produce one great save from Fellaini and Martial hit an effort just wide late on for United. But generally it was a fine performance with Reid having a great game at the back, Tomkins lending solidity at right back and Song returning to add bite in midfield. Nice to see Antonio get 53 minutes on the pitch too after Moses went off injured. All this was achieved without the injured Payet, Sakho, Valencia and Lanzini, so it's a good sign of the strength in the squad.

Matt's been watching the game in California and texts: "Local Man United fans are dancing in streets of Monteray at the result." Match of the Day also showed a couple of incidents that could have resoled in red cards for Fellaini's over-the-top tackle on Tomkins and Schweinsteiger elbowing Reid in the face. Credit to the West Ham fans for chants of "Is this the Emirates?" and "Is there a fire drill?" at the end. And misfiring United were booed off by some of their own fans. Two points dropped, but undefeated at Arsenal, Man City, Liverpool and Man United is an exceptional achievement. Irons!

Grim up north

Manchester United 3 West Ham 1

The usual defeat at Manchester United. Adrian is given a game in goal after his heroics at Spurs and he makes a great one-handed stop from Cleverly early on and then another good save from Valencia. The keeper is at fault for United's opener though. Collins falls over as Rooney slices through the defence and Welbeck places the ball straight through Adrian. It's Welbeck's first league goal at Old Trafford since October last year - another example of West Ham yet again ending someone' else's poor run.

The second comes after West Ham fail to clear and sees Januzaj dummy Collins and send the defender half way to Salford before firing home. United's young winger is deservedly booked for a terrible dive, but we're never going to recover from being two goals down after 36 minutes. Sub Ashley Young scores the third with a great effort into the top corner. United relax and we score a consolation as Maiga plays Cole through a static defence. It's a long time since Carlton has outpaced anyone, but he manages to run through and poke the ball between De Gea's legs. The West Ham fans erupt like we've scored the winner and regale United with Bubbles.

Overall a very pallid performance from West Ham after the Cup heroics and Morrison appears slightly overawed against his former club. Now we have to concentrate on getting points from the next two home games and the six-pointer at Fulham over the festive period, hopefully playing with a lot more passion in front of two sell-out crowds.

Concentrating on the league

Manchester United 1 West Ham United 0 (FA CUP)

A predictable result, though a poor game. Both penalty appeals for handball were dodgy, though as Big Sam pointed out we didn't get ours as we were the away team. Thankfully Rooney wasted his spot-kick. United were so bad we could have got something in the second half, but had little cutting edge and our crosses were poor. Vaz Te at least held it up fairly well in midfield, but Matt Taylor missed a good chance with his right foot and failed to find the unmarked Cole when clear. Sub Kevin Nolan also tried to turn inside when he could have got a shot in. 

United's early goal could have been prevented if Tomkins hadn't tried to play offside and a bad mistake by Diarra let in Hernandez for a chance he should have buried. But a very weakened side with Jarvis, Noble, Joe Cole, Demel and Nolan rested and Collins, Carroll, O'Brien, McCartney and co injured. 

Guess Big Sam is right in that the midweek games at Arsenal and Fulham have to take priority while we're still looking to get to 40 points. Decent experience for Spence and Potts and at least Diame made his comeback, but beyond that not an inspiring night's viewing on ITV, tough the bearded Roy Keane does resemble Thorin from The Hobbit. 

Cup Final breakfast round at Nigel's will have to wait another year.

Manchester, so much to answer for…

Man United 1 West Ham 0

At least  we gave it a go. After 30 seconds you wondered just how many United could get. Looking at MOTD Van Persie's goal was a cruel deflection off Collins. Nolan just failed to connect with Jarvis's cross and Andy Carroll volleyed over the bar in the first half. After the break Carlton Cole had an effort saved (that would have been ruled offside) and near the end Maiga cut in from the right to shoot just over. Jussi made a couple of good saves, particularly in tipping over Cleverly's shot, but generally West Ham restricted United to half-chances. And at least we had a vague chance of a point right up to the last with the Old Traford crowd silent. Sam was pleased with the defensive solidity. Now we've got to pick up some points from Chelsea, Liverpool and West Brom.

There must be an answer, Avram G...

Manchester United 3 West Ham 0

Managed to find a Hobgoblin pub in Gloucester Road, Bristol, after the Rovers game to witness the demise of the Hammers. The jukebox was playing rolling Beatles songs, starting off with, appropriately enough, Don't Let Me Down, followed by Get Back (hopefully not to the Championship).

It's another bizarre team selection from Grant. Hitzlsperger is injured and Obinna has presumably signed too late to play, but he still ignores new signings Barrera, Piquionne, Ben Haim and Reid. What's the point of buying £8 million worth of talent and not playing them?

Spector, Faubert, Dyer, Boa Morte and even Danny Gabbidon have all been found wanting through poor form and injury, yet Igor the Butler seems to be trying to build a team around them.

Cole is completely isolated up front and looks despondent throughout. Faubert gets a few crosses in to the feet of Man United players and Dyer hits the side netting. We hold out for half an hour and Robert Green makes a great save to tip Nani's shot onto the post. But then 90-year-old Ryan Giggs strolls past Spector and is brought down by the haplass Specs for a penalty. Rooney sends Green the wrong way for 1-0. Mystic Matt sends a text reading: "Spector utterly useless wherever and whenever he plays".

It's over early in the second half when Nani cuts inside to score a second. The juke box plays The Long and Winding Road, possibly referring to our season, and then Let It Be.

Grant does nothing when he should have made substitutions at half time. We're not going to get anything from the game without scoring so why not bring on another striker? We always lose when we set out to keep the score down so what is the point with persisting with such tactics? Let's adhere to the West Ham tradition and at least have a go.

All I can do is drink another pint of Hobgoblin and despair as Bristolian Mancs cheer on the Red Devils. It's not until 75 minutes that Grant brings on Barrera and finally Piquionne, way too late. Dyer clips the outside of a post as United ease off a little, but Berbatov finishes the game with a gymnastic volley while unmarked in the box. We almost score a consolation, but Parker skews wide.

The only good thing to come out of the game is that Gabbidon and Upson have decent games in defence, Ilunga looks better and Green makes several fine saves. The rest of the side looks a relegation waiting to happen.

Finally the jukebox stops playing Beatles songs and instead we have the White Stripes' I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself. How true.

We need changes for the Chelsea game and some ambition up front and, as ever, a right-back. There must be an answer Avram G, please don't let it be.

Any old irons

Manchester United 2 West Ham 0

We’re in Edinburgh for my kids’ half-term holiday, watching the game on Sky Sports News. With Cole suspended, Ashton out until at least the new Year, the Irons are going to struggle for height up front and the forward line of Di Michele and Bellamy looks decidedly lightweight. Neill is still out and so is Noble. In fact we could be in as much trouble as Russell Brand.

Paul Walsh’s early bulletins from Old Trafford describe “one-way traffic”. All the excitement is coming from Phil Thompson at the Arsenal versus Spurs match — he’s yelping and screaming, causing great disturbance to the team of ageing old-pro pundits around him. Walsh reveals that Ronaldo is roasting Faubert. After 20 minutes we’re 1-0 down through Ronaldo, of course, sweeping in a Nani cross.

After half an hour Ronaldo scores again following what Walshy describes as a sublime piece of byline skill from Berbatov, that bamboozles Collins and sets up the Portugeezer. Just before half time Behrami is stretchered off and — words every West Ham fan now dreads — into the fray comes Luis Boa Morte. We’re looking at a tonking.

Mercifully United relax in the second half. Walshy looks increasingly bored as Phil Thompson gets more excited than Russell Brand on heat with any old Irons’ grandaughter. Oh, and Walsh says Boa Morte has just failed to control the ball when played through to fluff our best chance.

It’s only 2-0 but we’ve now lost four games in a row. Lose at Boro on Saturday and it’s five. And the fire-sale to come. Crisis club West Ham, anyone? It’s almost temping to ring up Andrew Sachs and join Jonathan Ross in a three-month suspension.