CARLOS TEVEZ — HE LEFT 'COS YOU'RE S**T!
On 68 minutes Payet wins a free-kick some 30 yards from United’s goal. Surely he can’t score from here? Dimitri pings in a sumptuous free kick that goes up and over the wall and into the net off the post, before running to the far corner. Brilliant. On this form he could both defeat Donald Trump and bring peace to Syria. Cue lots of backslapping and we’ve got Payeting in the away end.
WE'LL RACE YOU BACK TO LONDON!
PLAYER RATINGS: Randolph 7; Antonio 7, Ogbonna 7, Reid 7 (Obiang 6), Cresswell 8; Lanzini 6, Noble 8, Kouyate 7, Payet 8; Emenike 5 (Sakho 5), Carroll 7 (Valencia 5).