I don't Baleba it...

Brighton 3 West Ham 2

Never watch a game on the BBC's Final Score as it always ends in pain. Fullkrug is on the bench as Potter reverts to a five-man back line, which is frustrating as the big effing German who says what he wants proved he could last 80 minutes last week. At least Soucek is back as we need his goal threat.

After early Brighton pressure a good move between Ward-Prowse and Wan-Bissaka sees the latter's cross hit into the side netting by Soucek. But Brighton take the lead after 13 minutes as Ayari, under pressure from Paqueta, curls a great shot into the top corner from the edge of the box. West Ham almost equalise when Kilman's ball into the box is headed on to the bar by Soucek.

Fullkrug comes on for Ward-Prowse at the break and the Hammers improve with Bowen back on the right. The equaliser comes down the right when Wan-Bissaka finds Bowen in acres of space. His cross is turned in by Mo Kudus, whose fairly tame shot goes through the legs of Verbruggen.

Areola has to make a smart save from Weiffer's header and at the other end Paqueta frees Wan-Bisakka for a drive against Verbruggen's legs. West Ham seem to have won it when Wan-Bissaka's clever backheel frees Bowen, whose inviting cross is headed home by Tomas Soucek after 83 minutes.

But this West Ham side just can't hold on to lead. A cross into the box sees Gomez in too much space up against Coufal, who has come on for Emerson.Gomez heads across goal, Kilman has lost Mitoma, and the Japanese winger heads home. With three centre backs playing there's no way Mitoma should be winning headers in the box.

Just as we've settled for a draw Brighton win a corner as the Irons stick 11 men back. As Match of the Day highlights, the defenders aren't looking at the ball as Brighton take a quick corner and Bowen and Fullkrug are too far back. Areola palms the cross away but the ball is recycled to Baleba who is strolling unchallenged through midfield in the manner of William Wordsworth looking at Ullswater daffodils. He lets fly with an effort that curls round three defenders and into the top bin of Areola's goal. The keeper hasn't moved. Baleba does a double somersault as we feel bad all over. On another day that shot might have drifted over but there's no excuse for the amount of space and time he was allowed.

Niclas Fullkrug must be very very angry this week. At least Potter admits afterwards that this relegation form isn't good enough. There have been some positives going forward from Soucek, Bowen, Fullkrug, Kudus and Wan-Bissaka, but this side desperately needs a big ugly centre back who is a leader of the defence and a ball-winner where there is still a large Declan Rice-shaped hole. We've spent £90 million on centre backs and still can't defend. The only good news is that we have just 28 days left until the end of the season.

There's only one f in Fullkrug

Niclas Fullkrug has become something of a cult after his post-match rant on Saturday, where he was "very angry" and claimed that "we were shit" for not capitalising on Jarrod Bowen's goal. Some people might see this as undermining his team-mates and manager, but I'm more of the view that we need this sort of passion in the dressing room. 

Fullkrug broke the standard rule of post-match interviews by making his one with Sky Sports interesting. The big German striker played in a Champions League Final for Borussia Dortmund a year ago and now finds himself in a team struggling to beat a relegated side, so you can understand his frustration. His man gripe seems to be that the side couldn't push up with "half the team defending and half trying to score again", the keeper kicking it long, not carrying out the coach's instructions and mindset and motivation problems.

Perhaps he should have left it to Bowen or Potter to be so critical, but Fullkrug is a senior pro at 32 and said what most fans were thinking. His rant has also resulted in a brilliant cartoon from David Squires in the Guardian, featuring Fullrug pondering on the West Ham Way, a "T K Max Kilman" outlet in Westfield and Danny Ings postulating that we are, "all trapped in the belly of the machine."

The club needs more players with high standards like Fullkrug and there will be a much-needed summer clearout and rebuild. Soler and Ferguson will presumably be returned to sender, Coufal, Cresswell, Ings, Antonio and Fabianski are all out of contract, Rodriguez and Cornet will go if there are any suitors and Alvarez is said to be available. A decision has to be made on whether to cash in on the underperforming Mo Kudus and more pace and athleticism is urgently needed in midfield. Apart from that everything is fine.

Saints earn deserved point against lacklustre Hammers

West Ham 1 Southampton 1

Up against a relegated team that has ten points and has just sacked their manager - what could possibly go wrong? 

I'm joined in the sun by Nigel and CQ, fresh from seeing Sweet and T Rextasy and a jaunt on the Isle of Man, Michael who has been celebrating St George's Day with thespians, Matt and Lisa who have come straight from the West Ham Women's 0-0 draw with Man United and Big Sam, who has travelled all the way from Wales for this relegation three-pointer.

Wan-Bisaaka and Alvarez have both managed to get injured in training. Fullkrug starts and early on the big German forces a good save from Ramsdale when Paqueta gets in a decent low cross. But for the rest of the half Southampton play with the freedom of a side where the pressure is off and they should be ahead. Referee Kitchen, in his first Premier League game, lets a lot go and Coufal is lucky to escape censure after a foul on the edge of the area. Walker-Peters shoots wide when well placed after Soler gets out-muscled in midfield. Southampton go close when the ball bounces off Paqueta to Sulemana who prods it against the woodwork. 

West Ham again appear ponderous and the closest effort is when Ward-Prowse shoots over the bar from the edge of the box. Full credit to the Southampton fans though, who are noisy throughout and waving inflatable bananas in solidarity with Nigel as they look forward to visiting Portsmouth.

At half-time Nigel debates whether to eat his two lucky bananas as we're joined by Alison from the Clacton Irons, who has supported the Hammers through thin and thinner and is so impressed by today's fare that she's considering getting a season ticket again.

We wonder if Potter is capable of giving the side a rollicking. His half-time words seem to have had some effect as two minutes in the Hammers score. Finally the Irons break at speed, as Paqueta finds Kudus who passes inside to Fullkrug. He plays a first-time ball through to Bowen on the right who cuts inside Manning and scores a typical Bowen goal. Surely Southampton's heads will drop now.

West Ham have a better spell. When Ward-Prowse takes a corner Michael can feel it in his water that Fullkrug will score. He does but it's disallowed for an arm on Ramsdale. West Ham's best moments come from Fullkrug and it's the big man who finds sub Guilherme with a subtle through-ball, only for Luis to be thwarted by a decent save from Ramsdale.

West Ham fail to kill the game and the Saints gain impetus. Areola makes a smart reflex save to deny Stephens. Bringing on the Greek Bloke to shore up the defence and Soucek for Fullkrug invites further Saints pressure. Their best chance seems to have gone when Tyler Dibling fails to hit the target. 

Can the Hammers get a scrappy 1-0 win? No, in the 93rd minute Walker-Peters' cross deflects up into the air and Chelsea loanee Ugochukwu scores with a fine volley. The Saints fans erupt as if they've just won the league rather than reached 11 points. 

West Ham leave the field to a chorus of boos and points wise Potter hasn't done any better than Lopetegui. In the last six winless games late goals have cost the Irons seven points against Everton, Bournemouth, Liverpool and Southampton. 

We retreat to the Eagle where there are new air-dryers in the loos and Matt is taking the negatives, saying that Potter can't pick the right side, make substitutions or see out games. There's even talk we should have kept Moyes (apologies to Fraser). 

There's nothing for it but to discuss our first-ever gigs, with CQ confessing to the Bay City Rollers, myself admitting to Gary Glitter, Matt revealing a hippy past with Steve Hillage and Michael giving us Chas and Dave, which explains his love of cockney knees ups around the Eagle's Joanna. Meanwhile Aston Villa versus Newcastle is on the TV and Nigel mournfully notes how far we have fallen behind both teams.

We learn that Niclas Fullkrug has told the media that he is "very angry" and that we played "shit", meaning he wouldn't be out of place in the Bobby Moore Stand. From Borussia Dortmund to this must be a bit of a comedown. 

Potter has to be given time to get his own players in but in his 100 days as boss he hasn't improved this lot much. The final five games should all be winnable with Spurs and Man United distracted by Europe. Yet the season is in danger of ending with a whimper and the Hammers one place above the bottom three.

PLAYER RATINGS:Areola 6; Coufal 5, Kilman 6, Todibo 6, Emerson 6 (Scarles 5); Ward-Prowse 4 (Mavropanos n/a), Soler 4, Paqueta 5; Bowen 7 (Ferguson n/a), Fullkrug 7 (Soucek 4), Kudus 5 (Guilherme 6).

Hammers on Mastermind

On last night's Mastermind semi-final Dan Shoesmith, a legal operations specialist, chose West Ham United 1992 to the present day as his specialist subject. Shoesmith scored a credible 12 points on his West Ham round but eventually finished third. 

Spoiler alert I'm now going to discuss some of the questions. Who scored the winner in the Europa Conference League Final was obviously a tap-in. Most fans will surely have answered correctly when asked to name the bogey side that dumped us out of the Europa League twice - it was of course FC Astra Giurgiu. 

This fan was pleased to name Teddy Sheringham as the only WHU player to score in the 2006 FA Cup Final shoot-out and Simone Zaza as the Italian player we loaned after he scored against us in the Betway Cup in 2016. However my mind went blank when asked to name the side West Ham clinched promotion against in 1993 (Cambridge United) and the goalkeeper who was injured when Di Canio picked up the ball to stop play at Everton (it was Paul Gerrard). While distracted by dog barking and family interruptions I didn't hear the date when asked to name the newly-built London stadium where West Ham were the first away winners in 2019, rushing in with the Emirates instead of Spurs. 

So a mixed set of results but good to see West Ham United is finally getting the intellectual kudos (or Kudus?) the subject deserves. 

Hammers unlucky to lose to Champions-elect

Liverpool 2 West Ham 1

It's off to the World's End pub with Mystic Matt for this fixture, hoping for a less than apocalyptic result against the league headers. The pub is strangely deserted as we sit down with pints of Hepcat session IPA. It's back to a five-man defence with Alvarez and Soucek dropped.

Early on Diaz and Bradley pepper the West Ham goal with shots. Salah plucks the ball out of the air to round Scarles and curl an effort just wide. The 19-year-old Scarles is having a torrid time against one of the best players in the world and perhaps Potter should have opted for the experience if Emerson. Liverpool's goal arrives when Scarles lunges in and misses the ball allowing the wily Salah to race down the right and cross for Diaz, who has got behind Wan-Bissaka, to stroke home.

But suddenly there's a sign of life from West Ham. Wan-Bissaka plays a fine through ball to Soler, who has advanced into the Liverpool box and fires against the body of Alisson. The ball rebounds to Kudus, who cleverly spins and chips on to the bar. Alisson has got a fingertip to the ball, making it a fine save.

Mac Allister fires against the legs of Areola but at the end of the half the Irons gain confidence. Scarles gets a couple of tackles in and gets more support from Kilman. Kudus fires against Alisson from an offside position, but we are finding space. Just before the break Ward-Prowse's corner presents a free header to Dinos Mavropanos who heads over when he should score. Though to be fair the Greek Bloke has a pretty good game defensively. 

The second half starts with a couple of tables of plastic Liverpool fans arriving much to the chagrin of Matt, though I do manage to hold him back. Mac Allister hits the bar with a free kick two minutes in but after that it's all West Ham. Scarles is taken off with Wan-Bissaka switched to the left and Coufal coming on at right back. Paqueta starts to dominate midfield and plays the best ball of the game through to Bowen. But Alisson has come off his line really quickly and saves the one-on-one with his chest, when perhaps Jarrod should have tried to round him.

Kudus, who is having a fine game, hits a goalbound shot from the left that Alisson deflects wide. A deserved equaliser arrives in the 87th minute when Paqueta plays a brilliant through ball to Wan-Bissaka on the left. The full-back's cross is deflected into his own net by a combination of Robertson and Van Dijk.

But Liverpool respond like champions. Wan-Bissaka deflects Diaz's shot on to the bar. West Ham clear a corner. Paqueta appears to be pushed but the ref rules plays on and Liverpool get another corner. This time Van Dijk manages to give sub Fullkrug a nudge and head home.

But there's still time for West Ham to almost equalise. Kilman plays in a good cross and Fullkrug, on 15 minutes too late, twists to send a header on to the bar. 

It's no wins in five and West Ham have a worrying tendency to lose games late on under Potter. But on a positive note this was a really spirited performance and we've won at Arsenal and run Chelsea and Liverpool close. Paqueta, Kudus and Wan-Bissaka have had really good games at Anfield and the defence has stayed mainly solid. Southampton next is a potential banana skin, but you do feel at some point WHU and Potter's luck has to turn.

My all-time Hammers XI

Well, a couple of lucky free kick goals for Arsenal's Declan Rice against Real Madrid. Still, he's not a bad player and let's hope Real Madrid now try to buy him so we don't have to see him down the road at the Library. Declan is certainly one of the best West Ham players I've seen and he'd get into my greatest Hammers X1. I just missed out on Martin Peters so haven't included him, though I did catch the end of the careers of Bobby Moore and Geoff Hurst. Frank Lampard Junior doesn't get into the side as most of his great stuff was for Chelsea and we don't have enough men to carry him. 

My all time Hammers X1 would be something like this: Parkes: Bonds, Martin, Moore, Dicks; Rice, Payet, Devonshire, Brooking; Hurst, Di Canio. And if permitted the luxury of a second X1 of super subs it would be this: Miklosko; Stewart, Ferdinand, Collins, Lampard Sr: Cole, Carrick, Noble; McAvennie, Cottee, Tevez. Sadly I couldn't find a place for Marco Boogers or Simone Zaza, but there you go.

Paqueta in limbo until June

The Guardian reports that after three weeks of hearings the Lucas Paqueta spot-fixing case has been adjourned until the summer. The FA's independent panel didn't conclude its proceedings in the three weeks and the lawyers are booked up on other cases until June. In a way this is good news for West Ham as Paqueta will be available for the rest of the season, though he'll be playing under even more stress and some clarity might have helped both club and player. 

It also leaves West Ham's transfer plans in disarray as the club has no idea whether a replacement for Lucas is required. It's slightly encouraging that in three weeks the panel hasn't come up with a verdict, suggesting it's complicated. If there was a clear paper or phone trail leading to Paqueta then he would surely have been found guilty by now. And rather like VAR if it's not clear and obvious that Paqueta knew about the bets then he should surely be assumed innocent until proven guilty when his career is at stake.

Fullkrug makes his point

West Ham 2 Bournemouth 2

At Stratford station the God Squad are out in the sun, handing out leaflets asking, "Why do people go to Hell?" — which is no way to talk about a trip to the London Stadium. Inside the Best Meze Cafe our crew have adopted a close formation of 3-2 by the counter, as the chips and accompaniments arrive unexpectedly promptly.  

Nigel's been to Florida with CQ discussing with Donald Trump whether tariffs might help protect West Ham's goal. Matt and Lisa have been to see Longplayer at the Roundhouse, a thousand-year long piece of music, by the end of which West Ham might finally have reached the next level. Though Matt, in his Thames Ironworks black shirt, prefers Longplayer's earlier work, possibly called Shortplayer. 

Michael the Thespian is following the game with a trip to Stratford East to watch The Women of Llanrumney, a play about Welsh women and slavery which may not enhance his mood after the  match. The fact that no-one has bothered to check if their tickets have uploaded until the day of the game shows how disappointing the season has been.

The game begins with Bournemouth getting in a dangerous cross and Evanilson heading a good chance wide after 70 seconds. Areola has to make a smart save from a deflected Quattarra cross and then an even better reaction stop to save an effort deflected off Soucek. The Irons look disjointed in the sun and WHU's best effort is an Ollie Scarles cross that goes across goal. Several corners come to nothing. Bowen is not getting any service as a striker and Kudus looks bereft of confidence, while the midfield of Soucek, Ward-Prowse and Alvarez lacks creativity.

Bournemouth take the lead when the excellent Semenyo fires in a shot that Areola parries into an inviting zone for Evanilson to poke home. There's a VAR check but he's just onside. It's almost two when Zabarnyi heads on to the bar from a corner.

We retreat to the concourse where Nigel decides this is a game definitely in need of his lucky banana. Matt bemoans the fact that Potter seems to have picked the wrong team again. Subs are definitely needed after that first half display, 

Potter brings on Emerson for Scarles and then waits ten minutes before sending on Fullkrug and Soler. The big German makes an immediate difference, holding the ball up well, challenging for everything and allowing Bowen to return to the right wing, while Soler also improves the midfield balance. 

The best move of the game sees the Hammers win a corner. Ward-Prowse delivers a typically accurate dead ball and Fullkrug loses his man to power home a thumping header. At last something to raise the crowd. That's Fullkrug's third goal of an injury-ravaged season in which he's only completed 90 minutes once.

Seven minutes later Kudus gets the better of James Hill, though we're not sure why the late Jimmy Hill is on the pitch. Mo's cross is a good one and Jarrod Bowen, who has looked frustrated and like he is carrying an injury, does really well to beat Huijsen in the air and direct his header into the corner. Suddenly West Ham are massive again. 

The Irons are now playing with much greater verve, There's a good chance for a third when the Hammers win a free kick just outside the box. But rather than let James Ward-Prowse take it, Bowen fires narrowly wide. 

The referee incurs the wrath of the Vicar's Son as Winterburn slips and gets a free kick. It shouldn't have been given, but we still should be able to defend it. A big punt forwards is headed by Huijsen into the path of Evanilson who scores from close range. There's another long VAR pause but it's given.

Potter brings on Guilherme who causes some problems on the left with his speed, but wastes a great chance to cross by greedily shooting into the side netting. Areola has to save a low shot from Semenyo and that's it. It's a point at least and some hope that a fit Fullkrug might be the striker we need, though squad surgery is definitely required over the summer. 

We head to the Eagle for London Pride from the fridge, as Michael does an admirable marketing job for Caffreys. Hellraiser Nigel has to leave early to watch Sweet in Shepherd's Bush hoping for a better Blockbuster than the one he's just seen. It's a nice easy game at Liverpool next. Seven games left and really we just need to get through the season now before Potter sorts out the squad. 

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Wan-Bissaka 6, Kilman 5, Todibo 6 (Mavropanos 6). Scarles 5 (Emerson 6); Alvarez 4 (Soler 6), Soucek 4 (Fullkrug 8), Ward-Prowse 6, Paqueta 6; Bowen 6, Kudus 6 (Guilherme 5).

Not hungry like the Wolves

Wolves 1 West Ham 0

While the game is on I'm watching Wilko: Love, Death and Rock 'n'Roll, a celebration of Canvey Island legend Wilko Johnson at the Southwark Playhouse. It's very good and one of the actors even wears a West Ham hat in the section on the early days of Dr Feelgood as a "jug band". Though at Molineux West Ham don't seem to be doing it right. 

My WhatsApp group knows West Ham are going to lose as soon the club foolishly sends a message reading, "A league double over Wolves on the cards." The biggest jinx factor since Nigel said it was "lucky we hadn't had many injuries" and immediately crocked Ogbonna in season 2021-22.

Potter has to make changes due to late injuries to Kudus and Todibo. He brings in the Greek Bloke, Ferguson for his first start and surprisingly Guilherme. It's also rather strange to omit Soucek who scored at Everton.

The Hammers start quite well as Ward-Prowse sends a free kick narrowly over. Then good work by Wan-Bissaka and Bowen sets up Ferguson for a great chance. But he gets the ball tangled up in his feet and scuffs it. Already Ferguson, who scored for Ireland last week, seems to be succumbing to the West Ham striker hoodoo in the tradition of Haller and Scamacca.

Wolves then start to create chances. Areola, sporting braids and a Three Musketeers beard, makes a great save to keep out Toti's header. Wolves score after 21 minutes. A tackle from Mavropanos sees the ball deflect to Strand Larsen, who is in a lot of space and has time to turn and fire home via a deflection off Kilman. It should be two when Munetsi hits the bar from right in front of goal. 

Potter is clearly not happy at half-time and brings off the ineffective Guilherme and Ferguson plus Cresswell for Fullkrug, Alvarez and Soler. Fullkrug, back after three months out, gives the Irons a focal point. Paqueta plays in a first time cross ands the big German hits the bar with a towering header, only to see Emerson volley the rebound wide. 

The best chance of the evening falls to sub Tomas Soucek. He's played in by a clever backheel from Fullkrug after Bowen wins the ball off a defender. Tomas seems certain to score but puts his shot into the side-netting.

Wolves almost get a second through Munetsi and hold on for the points. We can't let our season just fade away and better is required against Bournemouth. A fit Fullkrug and the return of Kudus and Todibo might offer some hope and presumably the Paqueta verdict might be known by then. The team has stopped shipping goals but can't score. Currently we'd struggle to net against Canvey Island FC. Let's give Fullkrug the first 45 minutes on Saturday and go all out for goals. 

Moyes to give evidence at Paqueta hearing

The Daily Mail reports that David Moyes is to give evidence in the Lucas Paqueta FA betting hearing. That should be good news for Paqueta as one of the defence's arguments is that Paqueta had an £85 million move to Manchester City lined up and asked Moyes not to select him for the Bournemouth away match in August 2023. If Paqueta was trying to deliberately get booked in that game then he'd surely have wanted to play. The hearing started this week and is expected to last three weeks.

Nick De Marco KC, a leading sports lawyer, is defending Paqueta. Another argument that might be in Paqueta's favour is that the sums placed on him getting booked are very small, the 60 bets mainly from Paqueta Island ranging from £7 to £400. Surely if punters were certain he was going to get booked they would have gambled larger sums? It could also be argued that Lucas would always attract more bets in the booking gambling market as he often mistimes tackles and is a temperamental player who gets fouled a lot.

Paqueta is also in trouble for throwing his phone away when he upgraded it (which is perhaps a crime against electronic recycling) after it was returned to him from the FA. Jacob Steinberg in the Guardian wrote a good summary of the case. What is worrying is that it's not like a criminal court case and the FA can find him guilty on "the balance of probabilities". Being 51 per cent sure he did it seems a low burden of proof to possibly end a player's career. 

At least the case is finally being heard. Paqueta's form has undoubtedly been affected by the uncertainty and it has cost West Ham an £85 million transfer fee. Some clarity will benefit both player and club in what will be the biggest match of Paqueta's career.

Micky on the way back

Good to hear Michail Antonio's first interview since the car crash in which he almost died. Talking to The One Show's Helen Skelton he revealed that he can't remember anything about the accident until he woke up in hospital. Antonio broke his femur in four places and had to have the shattered thigh bone held together with bolts and pins.

He had doubts about his new Ferrari, saying: "The back of the car kept swinging out on me, so I didn't feel safe. I had had it for three weeks and I was already thinking about giving it back." Micky is giving up sports cars "for now", which seems wise. "I've always been a fan and friend of sports cars and old classics, but I can't lie to you, sports cars are not my friends," he says. It's always been something of a mystery why clubs allow valuable footballers to buy really fast cars. Best stick to his current sensible people carrier and using his bother as a driver.

Micky's recovery is ahead of schedule though it may take a year for his leg to fully heal. He is "100 per cent sure" he will play again though whether that will be in the Premier League must be in doubt. He'll be 35 when fit again and you wonder if his pace and mobility will still be there after such a serious injury. But let's hope he makes it.

Michail also spoke about how useful he has found having therapy after struggling with the death of his father and the break-up of his marriage (he has six children). He thinks everyone could benefit from therapy, which is certainly true for most West Ham fans who have suffered enough on-pitch traumas to keep a therapists' convention fully occupied. 

Antonio is an articulate media performer and he might certainly have a future as a pundit or TV presenter once he retires. It's nice to know that the club has treated him really well and funded his rehabilitation and had him salute the crowd before the Newcastle game. Antonio says that although he never supported anyone as a kid he is now a West Ham fan as well as a player. We all wish him the best of luck with his recovery.

All square in the Moyes derby

Everton 1 West Ham 1

It's a nervous afternoon in front of BBC Sport's live updates for the Moyes derby, with Everton unbeaten in eight games after the Moyesiah took over. Paqueta comes back into the WHU side along with the Greek Bloke and Emerson.

West Ham have a couple of good chances the first half. A typically accurate Ward-Prowse corner sees Branthwaite head towards his own goal and Pickford produce a brilliant reaction save to keep it out. Then Max Kilman, liberated in a back five, races down the left to cross for Jarrod Bowen, who spins and hits a fine volley slightly too close to PIckford.

The impressive O'Brien fires a firm shot straight at Areola. Then Everton are awarded a penalty before VAR very correctly overrules it. Beto has actually kicked the turf rather than been fouled by the Greek Bloke. 

The Hammers step it up in the second half and take the lead after 67 minutes. Emerson and Paqueta combine to set Bowen free on the left. His cross is controlled by Tomas Soucek, who gets the ball out from under his feet really well and curls a slow shot into the corner. Tomas does his rotating helicopter blades celebration in front of the away fans. It's fitting that the ultimate Moyes player, good in both boxes, should have scored.

Another break sees Bowen shoot at Pickford and Ward-Prowse nearly get on the end of the rebound. But the game changes when Moyes brings on three subs, including two extra strikers. 

Everton start to bombard the West Ham box as West Ham drop deep. In the 91st minute Areola parries Chermiti's shot, and in the next phase Alacaraz plays it wide to Gueye. He curls in ab inviting cross and O'Brien has got just ahead of Mavropanos to head home.

The Toffees nearly win it when the ball goes through the Greek Bloke's legs and Alcaraz shoots just wide of the post. It's disappointing to have lost the lead but it's still a decent away point as Everton extend their unbeaten run to nine games.

"We should be good enough to avoid relegation," muses Matt on WhatsApp, though I have to point out that if Leicester or Ipswich win their next six games and we lose all ours they would be above us. Though at the risk of jinxing the Irons I'll predict that 34 points should be enough to see us safe. 

At least we're looking competitive again under Potter and no longer shipping endless goals. Both teams will be fairly happy with a point and looking ahead to building for next season.

Not taking goals to Newcastle

West Ham 0 Newcastle United 1

There's flames and fireworks before kick-off, accompanied by Led Zeppelin's Kashmir as the pre-match entertainment hypes things up. Then on comes a walking Antonio to rousing applause, cut short by a premature playing of Bubbles as a giant Antonio flag is draped across the Bobby Moore Stand. A good moment. Micky will surely be back and having seen off Haller, Scamacca and Fullkrug will probably still be up front at 45. I'm joined by Nigel, Michael and Big Sam hoping we'll take goals to a weakened Newcastle, who have the League Cup Final to play on Sunday.

An unchanged West Ham start the game with a burst of energy, as Kudus crosses from the left, Livramento miscues and Soucek shoots over with a great chance. A loose ball picked up by Ward-Prowse and then Kudus sets up Bowen for a chance he passes straight to Pope. But Newcastle improve and start to look the stronger side. Areola has to react really quickly to save Barnes' flick and then has to parry the same player's header around the post.

Kudus fires a long-range effort straight at Pope and then hesitates and allows Trippier to tackle when through as an entertaining first half ends goalless. 

Without the restraining influence of Lisa Matt has been mainlining statistics, producing a book of strange football facts at half time. He reveals that Aston Villa's Chris Nicholl once scored all four goals in a 2-2 draw with Leicester, two of them own goals. And that Joe Payne scored ten goals in a game for Luton against Bristol Rovers in 1936 but then only scored six in ten games with West Ham. Matt is particularly pleased with the information that the referee for the 1878 FA Cup was one Segar Bastard of Upton Park. We return comfortably numbed to our seats.

Kudus has a hopeful penalty shout turned down early in the second half.  Newcastle look fully committed despite their cup final and start to look the more likely to score. Areola has to produce a brilliant tip over to prevent Kilman scoring a looping own goal. 

WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE

On 63 minutes Newcastle score. Barnes's cross is deflected straight back to him and he crosses into the box again. Isak has done a crafty push on Kilman making him miss the ball and Guimaraes gets ahead of Scarles to score. Despite the West Ham protests ref Michael Salisbury (no relation to Segar Bastard) allows it.

Potter brings on Paqueta, Soler and the Greek Bloke. The midfield of Ward-Prowse, Alvaraz and Soucek has worked hard but lacked imagination. Paqueta suddenly provides some spark as his dink over the defence plays in Bowen, who claims a penalty after he's pushed to the ground.

Pope goes down with an 'injury' as the Toon try to kill the game. On come Ferguson and Danny Ings as the crowd do their best to rally the team. To be the fair the Hammers give it a go although all we seem to do is pump balls at Schar and Burn. 

"Slow it down lads, why don't you?" When Mavropanos plays a great crossfield ball into touch it's too much for Matt, who is already despairing at the efforts of Ferguson and Soler and the laboured build-up. At this point Nigel is messaging Lisa suggesting she book that couples wellness retreat in San Francisco.

Newcastle see out the game and it's a narrow home defeat, although at times we've looked half-decent against a quality side. At the end Nigel reveals that he's forgotten to eat his lucky banana, which might have been our problem. 

It's not happening for Mo Kudus though and the time has probably come to ditch the five at the back and give Ferguson a game. Should Summerville and Fullkrug ever be fit that might help, though the season is petering out as we battle for 16th place. 

We head to Stratford Broadway, trying a new pub, the Queen's Head. Bizarrely we're asked to produce proof of identity before entering as presumably we all look underage. There's Brixton Pale and it's not too bad if only they turned the music down. At 11 we're chucked out and Matt and Michael head off to the Goldengrove, named after a Gerald Manley Hopkins poem. Matt is moved to state that GMH was probably a Hammer writing, "And yet you will weep and know why."

All in all a professional performance from Newcastle and proof that Potter has some way to go to mould the side into top half contenders. 

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 8; Wan-Bissaka 6, Kilman 7, Todibo 6 (Mavropanos 6), Cresswell 6 (Ferguson 5), Scarles 6; Ward-Prowse 7 (Ings n/a), Alvarez 6 (Soler 5), Soucek 5 (Paqueta 5); Kudus 6, Bowen 6.

We've got our concessions back

It's extremely good news that West Ham board has climbed down and restored concessions in all parts of the stadium after a long campaign from fans. Those black balloons at games, boycotting the Betway Cup and some relentless campaigning from the Football Supporters Association's Stop Exploiting Loyalty campaign and Hammers United has seen the club finally relent. Hammers United thanks many groups and individuals, including Irons Supporting Foodbanks, Pride of Irons, Spirit of Shankly, Hammers Bondholders, Tony Cottee, David Cross, Frank McAvennie and lots of other people. 

It's mystifying why The Apprentice's Karren Brady and co thought alienating the loyal customer base was a sensible business move. It's also good that the already expensive season ticket prices have been frozen. One of my pals finds all this a bit suspicious and wonders if the club are softening us up for a takeover by Elon Musk and the London Stadium being relocated to Mars. But right now it seems the board has simply decided to do the right thing. A shame it took so long.

Soucek and Bowen see off lacklustre Leicester

West Ham 2 Leicester City 0

Brian Dear and Geoff Pike are on the pitch before kick-off sharing memories of Ronnie Boyce, along with some replays of his FA Cup winning goal in 1964. I'm joined by Matt, still trying to understand the rules of rugby and how to depart from Twickenham, Lisa, Nigel, Michael and Big Sam. 

Matt is on fine form asking us which player on the pitch has a sibling who is an MP. It is of course Bobby de Cordova-Reid, whose sister Marsha de Cordova is MP for Battersea. Not a lot of people know that. 

Up against a team that has lost ten out of 11 matches, what could possibly go wrong? The stadium is strangely subdued as if the crowd sense a possible banana skin. It's an unchanged side from Arsenal, with Scarles and Wan-Bissaka high up the pitch as wing-backs. Leicester have an early shot through Ndidi, but after that it's all West Ham probing, albeit rather slowly at times. 

West Ham take the lead after Bowen and Soucek initiate an attack on the right, the ball is cleared, Creswwell crosses for Kudus to fire against Hermansen and Tomas Soucek taps home the rebound. No-one celebrates that much awaiting VAR to deem it offside, but in fact Vestergaard is playing Kudus onside. Tomas wheels away to celebrate his sixth goal of the season dreaming of extra potato salad on his 30th birthday.

Bowen shoots wide after good work from Wan-Bissaka and Ward-Prowse. The second duly arrives when Ward-Prowse's corner causes confusion in the box. Bowen gathers the ball on the byline  and shoots across goal from a tight angle, the ball deflecting in off Vestergaard. Credit to Bowen for his improvisation, but it's another poor goal for hapless Leicester to concede.

We're anticipating a possible thrashing to boost our goal difference in the second half, but West Ham start to showboat a bit and seem to have settled for a two-goal win. The 38-year-old Jamie Vardy has lost his pace and Areola has very little to do. The Leicester fans celebrate a corner with ironic abandon.

The Greek Bloke, Emerson and Soler come on for Todibo, who has looked solid again, Scarles and Alvarez and the side's rhythm is further disrupted. Eventually Ferguson comes on too and he should score after Bowen sets him up with a great run from his own half. But the Brighton loanee takes three touches instead of two and allows a tackle to come in - the sign of a player lacking in confidence.

Still, it's a professional win against a side that looks certain to go down and it's hard to complain about six points and two clean sheets in five days even if it wasn't great fare for the TNT viewers. These are WHU's first back to back wins since last March. At the final whistle I'm prepared to predict that we'll stay up now we're 16 points clear of Ipswich.

We head to Ye Olde Black Bull for a swift pint of Brixton Pale for me and a Wherry for Matt that isn't Wherry good. The consensus is that the Premier League is in a poor state when you can predict the bottom three and champions in February. But a win is a win and it's now very much a case of finishing as high as WHU can and preparing for next season. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Wan-Bissaka 6, Todibo 6 (Mavropanos 6), Kilman 6, Cresswell 6, Scarles 6 (Emerson 5); Soucek 7 (Irving n/a), Alvarez 6 (Soler 5), Ward-Prowse 6; Kudus 7 (Ferguson 5), Bowen 8.

Lopetegui speaks

Sid Lowe interviews Julen Lopetegui in Sunday's Observer and the former West Ham gaffer seems to be in denial about the reasons he was sacked. He argues: "We weren't in danger and we were adapting, learning, taking steps." Though not too many fans could see signs of progress, whereas Potter seems to have created a more organised side and better team spirit in a matter of weeks. Loppy's sacking came after a 5-0 home defeat to Liverpool and a 4-1 defeat at Man City. The only really impressive performance was the win at Newcastle, but even allowing for trying to change the the Hammers to a possession-based side, there were too many dispiriting defeats and poor performances.

The way Lopetegui was sacked was certainly very undignified however and you do feel sorry for him in that, as the piece implies, most of the signings were from Tim Steidten, "but few signings worked out, Lopetegui not convinced." When asked about the now departed Steidten Lopetegui says: "I prefer not talk about the Tim subject. That's the past, internal issues..." Click on the link to read the whole interview. 

To the Cockney Boys one-nil!

Arsenal 0 West Ham 1

It's an undercover mission for this one, dodging down Drayton Park and then sitting among the Gooners on the halfway line. Potter reverts to a five-man defence, drops Mavropanos for Todibo and brings in Ollie Scarles at left back and Ward-Prowse in midfield. But without Paqueta West Ham's chances seem slim.

Early on there's a dangerous cross from Trossard and a shot from Calafiori straight at Areola. But with the game goalless after 15 minutes something strange is happening — West Ham are playing rather well. Wan-Bissaka plays a give and go with Alvarez and makes a fine dash down the right to cross for Bowen who scuffs a good chance wide. Soucek has a header just over the bar. 

This is more like Potterball. Cresswell is marshalling the five man defence well, Todibo is looking like the solid defender we thought he should be, Ward-Prowse is playing simply and effectively in midfield and Kudus is holding the ball up well. 

Arsenal's makeshift forward line of Trossard and Merino is struggling and young Scarles is doing really well against wonderkid Nwaneri. Meanwhile the West Ham fans are suggesting that Declan Rice should have looked for a larger employer on LinkedIn. 

On 44 minutes the unthinkable happens. Cresswell wins a tackle in the box and releases Bowen who finds Wan-Bissaka racing from his own half. The full-back uses all his speed to get down the line, fool Calafiori with a couple of stepovers and cross for Jarrod Bowen to head home having got beyond Declan Rice. Blimey. I have to keep quiet among the disgruntled Gooners. A great time to score.

More strange things happen in the second half. After some premature "oles" from the Irons' fans, a great tackle from Ward-Prowse releases Cresswell whose cross is just missed by Bowen. The anticipated Arsenal siege begins with Trossard shooting against the legs of Areola. Rice is subbed and Mavropanos comes on for Todibo, who's had a good game.

IT'S QUIET IN THE LIBRARY

"Mikel Arteta it must be the ball!" sing the Hammers fans on 73 minutes as the impressive Kudus nicks the ball away from Lewis-Skelly on the halfway line. The young fullback brings him down and is booked. Only Raya is way off his line and Kudus would surely have got a shot away, VAR intervenes and Craig Pawson goes to the screen and opts for a red card as the Arsenal fans throw down their books in disgust. Match of the Day later proves this to be a correct decision.

Ten-man Arsenal still come at the Hammers as the home crowd gets nervy. But every Hammer is putting their body on the line to block and head danger away. A free kick from Odegaard is deflected to Gabriel who fires over. 

There's a nerve-wracking eight minutes of added time as Kudus gets away again only for sub Ferguson to prove not quite sharp enough and turn into traffic. Ben White blazes wide and then incredibly it's all over. What a contrast to last week's loss to Brentford. 

My WhatsApp tells me that Nigel is dancing in the streets of Bromley with the teacake-wielding Harrogate away crew and Matt is trying to understand rugby in the Calcutta Cup while dancing in the streets of Twickenham.

It's a happy trek to my north London safe house, where Gooner Peter is consoled with herb tea and biscuits. This was a really fine disciplined performance where every player did well. We've inflicted Arsenal's first home defeat of the season. Football, bloody hell. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 7: Wan-Bissaka 8, Todibo 7 (Mavropanos 7), Kilman 7, Cresswell 8, Scarles 8; Alvarez 7 (Soler n/a), Soucek 7, Ward-Prowse 8; Kudus 8, Bowen 9 (Ferguson 6).

Stop! Hammer Time

Good fun appearing on the Stop! Hammer Time podcast this week alongside Phil Whelans, Jim Grant and Pete Harcourt. My wife expressed surprise that anyone should want to listen to four blokes talking about West Ham for an hour, but she doesn't know that we have more collective expertise than the entire backroom staff at West Ham and every pundit ever. 

We concluded that although we want Dinos to do well the centre back pairing just isn't working, it was a bit silly to play both Bowen and Kudus on the right against Brentford with Paqueta not working as a false nine, Ferguson looked good in the second half and that new loanee from Forest was quite promising at corners. Sorted. And then we went to the pub.

Hammers slump to defeat after dire first half

West Ham 0 Brentford 1

There's a four-piece band outside the stadium playing Tequila but replacing the chorus with "Paqueta!", which is about as good as it gets. I'm joined by Nigel, fresh from the new Led Zeppelin movie, Michael and Big Sam, who has trekked from deepest Wales. 

Before kick-off we have a minute's applause in memory of Ronnie "Ticker" Boyce and a decent atmosphere. That changes after three minutes as a simple ball over the top sees Mbuemo nick the ball past Emerson, Schade shoot, Areola make two good saves only for the Brentford man's third effort to cross the line. It's the tenth goal that West Ham have conceded in the first ten minutes this season. 

A tardy Matt and Lisa are arriving at this point, having raced from watching a defeat for the WHU Under 21s. We discover that Matt, a true romantic, has for Valentine's Day taken Lisa to watch the Under-18s rather than Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy. 

It's a dire first half from the Hammers, with the side looking way off the pace against a sharp Brentford. Areola has to make a decent stop from Mbuemo. A terrible crossfield pass from Paqueta sees Wissa net only to be ruled just offside. Soler is fouled as West Ham break but the ref allows play to continue as Schade hits the post to a chorus of boos. Mavropanos has to make a great saving tackle. After more intricate passing Brentford net again only to have it correctly ruled out for a narrow offside.

The best West Ham have offered is a couple of dangerous crosses from Jarrod Bowen and even worse, Nigel has forgotten his lucky banana, claiming that his choice of snack might not make a difference to our results. 

Potter has to do something at half time and brings on Ferguson, Ward-Prowse and Scarles for Soler, Soucek and Emerson. Young Evan Ferguson looks a little like Leo Woodall, Bridget Jones' new love interest, though so far West Ham have sent most of us to the edge of reason.

The Irons play like a different team in the second half and get stuck in. Some neat ball juggling from Bowen releases Ferguson who shows a good burst of speed to get to the line and pull back for Kudus to fire over a gaping goal. That should have been 1-1 and Mo seems struggling for form and confidence. 

James Ward-Prowse plays sensibly and looks like Lionel Messi compared to what's come before, as West Ham threaten the Brentford goal. Paqueta wins a free kick on the edge of the box which is deflected wide, with the ref not even giving a corner. Bowen has a penalty appeal refused and Ferguson uses his strength to hold off three defenders and fire a shot at Flekken. We've looked a lot better with a young mobile target man.

Ward-Prowse gets a round of applause every time he takes a corner, though without Soucek there's not too much to aim at. At times we make the Brentford defence seem as impregnable as that of FC Astra. The Bus Stop from Hounslow players see out the game fairly comfortably. 

We head to the Eagle for London Pride from the fridge. Matt wants to know which one of our mates has seen a game in Uzbekistan (it's Lisa obviously) and we then end up discussing the work of Nick Hornby and Gill Hornby, and whether an artist's early works are their best. All better than talking about the match. To compound our gloom the TV is showing Everton winning at Crystal Palace under bright young manager David Moyes.

If we lose to Leicester we really will be in the relegation mix. With 13 games left some wins are needed urgently to save the season.

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Wan-Bissaka 5, Kilman 5, Mavropanos 5 (Guilherme n/a); Emerson 5 (Scarles 6); Alvarez 5, Soler 4 (Ferguson 7), Soucek 4 (Ward-Prowse 6), Paqueta 6; Kudus 5, Bowen 6.

Jarrod Bowen's on fire (and EastEnders)

So Jarrod Bowen has joined Danny Dyer in appearing on EastEnders as the soap celebrates its 40th anniversary. Jarrod's cameo saw him sending a video message to Billy Mitchell on his stag night in the Queen Vic. The West Ham. legend wishes Billy and Honey good luck for their wedding. 

At this rate Jarrod might end up as the landlord of the Queen Vic when he retires. Though some of the regulars need to brush up on their trivia knowledge as in the West Ham quiz they struggled to name Billy Bonds as the oldest player to appear for the Irons.

This has to rank up there in great WHU TV moments alongside the cast of Gavin and Stacey wearing vintage West Ham shirts for Smithy's stag night, Leo Woodall's Essex geezer Jack singing Bubbles in season two of White Lotus and Donna Noble saying she learned to whistle "up West Ham" in Doctor Who. 

Review: Season by George Harrison

Football novels are notoriously difficult to get right but George Harrison has taken his chance with some aplomb in his debut novel Season. And no, he's not that George Harrison unless All Things Must Pass was a midfield mantra. 

Season is the story of two characters, the Old Man and the Young Man, who find themselves sitting next to each other each week and develop a slow companionship. The Old Man is struggling with age and the decline of his wife, while the Young Man is fatherless, in a new relationship with a troubled girlfriend and struggling to find his goal in life. 

The novel is cleverly structured, having a chapter for each of the 38 games in a Premier League season. It's based loosely around Harrison's team of Norwich City, though they are never named. To make it generic he uses the nationalities of those involved rather than names. The team is managed by the German and the players are the Norwegian, the Finn, the Englishman, the Irishman, the Argentinian, the Dutchman and so on.

There's even a relegation struggle to make us feel at home and a trip to a corporate bowl in London, though the suggestion is the home fans are not too friendly. Really it's a book about loneliness, dodgy refs and the rituals of football. To use my quote on the back cover it, "perfectly captures the comforting rituals of football for taciturn males, both old and young." Though obviously none of my football gang would ever sublimate their emotions in favour of discussing football trivia over a post-match pint. 

Season has already received good reviews in the Daily Telegraph, the Mail on Sunday and the Irish Times and is well worth a read during this fortnight free of West Ham action.

Season is published by Lightning, price £14.99.

Tim Steidten has left the building

So technical director Tim Steidten has officially left West Ham to euphemistically, "pursue new opportunities." Graham Potter has brought in his own recruitment man in Kyle Macaulay. 

What will not have impressed David Sullivan and Karren Brady will have been Steidten's role in recruiting Julen Lopetegui. It's also possible that David Moyes might have stayed had West Ham not appointed a technical director. Moyes was all set to sign a new contract in December 2023 with the club sixth in the Premier League. Yet something changed and the season imploded with the club approaching Lopetegui while Moyes was still in charge.

Steidten's role in recruitment has been mixed since he arrived in the summer of 2023. The decent to good buys have included Alvarez, Ward-Prowse, Kudus and Wan-Bissaka. The bad deals have been Dinos Mavropanos, Kalvin Phillips, Guido Rodriguez, Niclas Fullkrug (in terms of age and injuries rather than ability), Luis Guilherme (who might develop but was overpriced) and probably Soler. While the jury remains out on Summerville, Kilman and Todibo. It could also be argued that a lot of good players departed who might have had something more to offer, such as Fornals, Benrahma, Aguerd, Kehrer and Ward-Prowse (who has now returned). 

Its not an overly impressive record, though Steidten undoubtedly recruited well at German champions Bayer Leverkusen. But for whatever reason he found the Premier League a much harder proposition.

I don't want to go to Chelsea

Chelsea 2 West Ham 1 

I'm with my sports book group at Nonos Greek restaurant in Judd Street (not run by the Mavropanos family) discussing the podcast Heroes and Humans of Football for this one. News of Jarrod Bowen's goal at half-time brings an unexpected bit of hope to the menu as misfiring Chelsea consider buying Souvlaki, Dolomades and Moussaka. 

Paqueta and Alvarez are injured, so Potter gives Andy Irving his first start and sticks with four full-backs alongside Kilman at the back.

The highlights reveal there's some predictable pressure from Chelsea in the first half, with Madueke and Fernandez firing just wide. But West Ham's formation troubles Chelsea and for the Irons Irving volleys over and Bowen fires against Jorgensen's legs. 

West Ham take the lead on 42 minutes. Colwill, under pressure from Kudus, plays a blind back pass in to the path of Bowen. The returning talisman takes it brilliantly gliding a left-foot finish into the corner. Just before the break Areola makes a superb save to tip over Palmer's free kick.Could it be a gritty 1-0 away victory?

Chelsea bring on Neto who makes a difference, though their equaliser should surely have disallowed.as Colwill fouls Bowen with a blatant push in the back in the build up. As Neto crosses, Cucurella also seems to be offside as he plays the ball, though VAR rules that a defender has touched the ball first rather than Guiu. In the resulting pinball after Fernandez's shot is saved, Neto fires home the rebound.

At 1-1 Andy Irving plays in a fine cross which Kudus heads against the outside of the post, possibly from an offside position. Abandoning my soccerarti pals I arrive at the Mabel pub just in time to pay £7.85 for a pint of Neck Oil and see Chelsea score a lucky winner. The impressive Palmer glides into the box, where his cross from the left wing takes a huge deflection off Wan-Bissaka's boot and spins up and over Areola. 

Palmer curls a shot just wide but West Ham give it a go late on. Potter isn't scared to send on kids Scarles and Orford while Guilherme does some good stuff on the right wing. Wan-Bissaka wastes a good chance to cross after a nice move. A surging run from Guilherme sees him find Bowen who crosses to Kudus, who spins and shoots but sees his goalbound effort blocked by Chalobah.

West Ham get a deserved ovation from the fans at the final whistle, We have almost got a result against a top four team with an injury-ravaged side, which is very different to the 3-0 capitulation at home to Chelsea earlier this season and last season's 5-0 defeat. Bowen is fit again and with Ferguson and Ward-Prowse added to the squad there's room for some optimism.

Just sold my house to James Ward-Prowse...

More good news is that James Ward-Prowse is returning from his loan spell at Nottingham Forest, where he's been stuck on the bench all season, bar one assist for an Awonyi goal at Wolves. 

It was baffling why Julen Lopetegui loaned out JWP, a seasoned Premier League performer who scored seven goals and made 11 assists last season. That's a total of 18 goal involvements. True, he might have wanted a more dynamic or speedy central midfielder than steady James, but West Ham ended up with the one-paced Soler and Rodriguez as replacements, who have one goal and one assist between them. Even if Ward-Prowse wasn't going to be a regular starter for Loppy, he would have been a great player to bring off the bench for his free kicks and corners when WHU were seeking a breakthough.

There was no return clause in the loan deal with Forest so the club has done well to persuade Forest to let him go. Presumably Ward-Prowse told them he wanted to return after hardly featuring. Graham Potter seems to appreciate JWP's understated qualities. He's a good pro who trains well, rarely gets injured and never complains when dropped. As the club website says he will add "experience, depth and quality" to the squad. JWP is used to playing with Alvarez and Soucek and Tomas and co must be looking forward to getting on the end of his corners. And someday soon he has to score with a free kick. Ward-Prowse will be like a £30m signing - in fact he was a £30m signing the club seemed to forget about. Welcome home, JWP.

It's Fergie time!

It's encouraging news that Brighton's Evan Ferguson is having a medical at West Ham prior to a loan move. At 20 the Ireland international is a good age. He looked a fantastic prospect when he made his debut at Brighton and scored a hat-trick against Newcastle when he was just 18. Ferguson has scored 19 goals in all competitions for Brighton though has mainly been used as a sub this season. He lost his way somewhat last season through injury and perhaps achieving success too early. There's no denying his potential though, and no less a judge than Alan Shearer said that Fergie seems to have it all: "Left foot, right foot, headers, pace, aggression, intuition; there is no obvious weakness to his game."

There will be some worries when a player as young as Ferguson gets injuries and also whether he did too well to quickly. But Potter knows him from his time as Brighton boss and as an empathetic man manager he should be be able to protect him from any sense of complacency. While his dad Barry Ferguson played for Coventry City and will offer solid advice. This might benefit Brighton in the long term, but for this season Ferguson solves a problem. Evan is six foot tall, mobile and positively cherubic compared to our old bloke strike force of Fullkrug and Ings. Could he finally be the answer to West Ham's striker hoodoo? It's exciting to think what he might do with crosses from Bowen, Kudus and Summerville plus through balls from Paqueta.

Emerson earns gritty point for depleted Hammers

Aston Villa 1 West Ham 1

There's a mood of pessimism on my WhatsApp Irons group as the depleted Hammers line up with four full backs and no strikers. Though at least we're not Spurs. Areola is restored in goal, while in the absence of the suspended Greek Bloke Kilman is flanked by Coufal and Cresswell and Wan-Bissaka and Emerson play as wing-backs. 

Villa's Unai Emery is banned and forced to watch from his technical coffin area, while the Villa dugout seems to have Rick Wakeman in charge, which will at least please prog-rocker Nigel.

It starts ominously on Sky as Villa play through the West Ham midfield and score after a one-two between Watkins and Ramsey, who outpaces Coufal rather too easily to slot home from a tight angle. It looks like being a roasting as only a great tackle from Kilman prevents a goal, Tielemans fires wide and Watkins just misses the target.

But slowly the Hammers get more of a foothold in the game as Paqueta starts to hold the ball up. Mings going off injured helps, as Digne looks unsure at centre back. West Ham force a couple of corners and Paqueta fires a volley wide before the interval. Lucas also appears to have been hit by the Grealish sniper when Digne elbows him in the chest, causing a big melee.

In the second half Potter gets his wing-backs to push up more as Villa tire after playing midweek in Monaco. West Ham start to play with some calmness and self-belief. The energetic Wan-Bissaka puts a lot of crosses in towards the back post. Soler has a shot cleared off the line by Konsa after Martinez spills a cross. Paqueta spins to shoot just wide.

A deserved equaliser arrives when Wan-Bissaka and Kudus find Alvarez, whose deep cross is headed home by Emerson. Emerson has proved too progressive for Wakeman. Edson and Emerson perform some dad dance moves in celebration.

What's impressive is that after a week's training Potter already seems to have installed a collective mindset. All three subs contribute. Ollie Scarles gets a chant of "He's one of our own!" with several good tackles and rampages down the left, Andy Irving is calm on the ball and almost sets up a late winner, while Danny Ings sends a decent strike just wide of the post. Soucek also has a good chance but puts his header over.

Alvarez is lucky to avoid a red card after a tug on Kamara and Potter sensibly subs him. Paqueta, who has had a great game, has the commentators drooling with a great piece of skill in the box and Lucas has the ball in the net at the end, though Soucek is correctly ruled offside.

It's a very creditable result for a team with no strikers and seven players absent. The new gaffer seems to have Paqueta performing again and backed by the experience of Cresswell and Coufal, Kilman has looked a lot more solid. This seems to be evidence that Potter knows what he's doing. Irons!

Forget Duran and go for wild boys who are hungry like the wolf

West Ham have made a second offer of £57million for Jhon Duran according to the Daily Telegraph. This seems to be pure David Sullivan, bidding for a player we won't get with money WHU surely don't have so that he can say at least we tried. West Ham could probably have had Duran for £40 million in the summer (he even crossed his arms in that infamous photo) but instead chose to go for Fullkrug and Guilherme for a combined cost of £47 million. 

That decision now seems likely to cost Tim Steidten his job. Aston Villa value Duran at a reported £80 million plus and don't want to sell. So let's forget about Duran and look at some wild boys who are hungry like the wolf. 

The Irons shouldn't be going for players who are the finished article, rather young players on the up. Better news on this front is that the Guardian reports Graham Potter has recruited his old Ostersund, Swansea, Brighton and Chelsea analyst Kyle Macauley, for compensation of around £1.5 million. Not sure if he can do a job up front, but new signing Macauley is likely to take a major role in recruitment if Tim Steidten is eased out. This is the team that recruited Brighton's Moses Caicedo on the cheap and then sold him to Chelsea for £115 million. Plus Brighton's other profitable sales of the likes of Trossard, Bissouma, Maupay, White, Burn, Mac Allister and more, so there's some cause for optimism. 

Reports now suggest West Ham are close to completing a deal to buy the OH Leuven midfielder Ezechiel Banzuzi. The Dutch midfielder is 19 so a good age and at around £11 million would be affordable. Let's hope there's some positive activity soon.

Mateta better than hapless Hammers

West Ham 0 Crystal Palace 2

In the Best Meze Cafe we find Nigel, Matt and Michael, who is gifting Lisa a signed programme of The Fizz (formerly Bucks Fizz, but with two new boys alongside Cheryl and Jay) from their concert in deepest Eastleigh. It seems Michael has now usurped Lisa as The Fizz's number one fan. Will West Ham's indecision take them from behind we wonder? 

The conversation segues from obscure grounds Matt and Nigel have visited to how Palace used to be nicknamed the Glaziers and why West Brom are nicknamed both the Baggies and the Throstles. We head beneath grey skies to the London Stadium, as Michael makes the dangerous admission that for once he is looking forward to a game.

Bad news is that Soler isn't fit to start so Cresswell comes in to a five-man defence in a side that is already missing Bowen, Fullkrug, Summerville, Antonio and Todibo. The game is terrible from the off, a series of misplaced passes and the two sides cancelling each other out. Mateta has a shot well saved by Fabianski and that's about it. The Fulham game has clearly taken a lot out of the side with Paqueta uninspired, though that doesn't explain why Palace look fresher as they also played in midweek.

At half-time Matt has endured enough ribbing about his yellow hoodie matching the Crystal Palace's away kit and places his West Ham hoodie over the top of his Palace one, creating a sort of half-and-half hoodie effect. There's a sense of trepidation as we discover that Nigel has forgotten his lucky banana.

Soler comes on for Rodriguez at the break, but again West Ham concede just after half-time. Eze plays a fine through ball to Mateta, Kilman backs off too much and Mateta fires into the corner with a hard low shot from the edge of the area. Fabianski should perhaps have done a bit better too.

DINOS DISASTER

The Greek Bloke picks up a booking for pulling back Mateta after the Palace man has outsped him. There's a little improvement when Potter brings on youngsters Ollie Scarles and Lewis Orford, who is making his debut. Young Orford looks confident and does a decent job keeping his passes simple. Scarles gets in a couple of dangerous crosses, Kudus runs into three men most of the time and Alvarez has a shot wide. Though poor Danny Ings can only tilt at gigantic centre backs like the Don Quixote of E19.

Fabianski has to race out of goal to save at the feet of Palace sub Nketiah. The game is effectively over when the Greek Bloke is beaten by Mateta and then catches him in the chest with a raised boot. It's clumsy rather than malicious but poor old Dinos is an error waiting to happen. Matt wonders if the Greek custom of smashing plates was invented by the Mavropanos family. 

All that's left is for Mateta, the sort of striker WHU need, to play in Nketiah, who is brought down by Fabianski, possibly unnecessarily, as Wan-Bissaka was also in with a chance of tackling. To round off our day a bad penalty squirms under Fabianski's body for two-nil. Nigel suspects the words "reality check" will be appearing in most match reports. We've not had a shot on target. Potter can now see the reasons why he got the job. He urgently needs to sign a striker, get some players back and tighten the defence.

We head to the Eagle, which is at least warm, has Meantime in the fridge and Arsenal versus Villa on the TV. Michael dispenses career advice on theatre and musical performance and Sinead, back from Ireland, sees we are in need of a tonic and brings over several glasses of Baby Guinness. The best result of the day.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 5; Wan-Bissaka 5, Kilman 5, Mavropanos 3, Cresswell 5 (Scarles 6), Emerson 5 (Orford 6); Rodriguez 4 (Soler 4), Alvarez 4 (Guilherme 5), Paqueta 4 (Ings 4); Kudus 5.

Potterball gets rolling with vital home win

West Ham 3 Fulham 2

For the first time in ages we enter the London Stadium with a slight sense of optimism at having a new gaffer. I'm joined by Nigel, a tardy Matt, Lisa returning after six weeks of impact subbing, Michael in his plain-clothes policeman suit and Big Sam, who since he has moved to Wales is so hard he doesn't need a coat, just a replica Prague final shirt.

Paqueta is playing as a false nine with Kudus wide on the right in a frontline that is down to Harry Redknapp's bare bones. For the first twenty minutes Fulham dominate. They should go ahead when Iwobi gets behind the defence to cross for Wilson to hit the bar. 

West Ham only start to get into the game when Kudus gets a bit more of the ball and makes some runs. Paqueta wins a free kick, Soler plays in a fine arcing ball and Kilman heads home, only to be ruled offside by Soucek's arm. But that gets the crowd going and the Irons press with more intensity.

On the half hour Leno rolls a short ball out and Alvarez pressures Pereira who plays a blind pass across the area. Carlos Soler does really well to hit it first time across the keeper and into the net.

Incredibly we score again. Kudus makes a run across the box to find Soler who crosses across the area to Wan-Bissaka on the right wing. Aaron's low cross is steered home by Tomas Soucek, who does his freewheeling potato salad all round twirling celebration. Welcome to Potterball.

It will be good for Soler's confidence to have scored and helped make a goal we reflect. Nigel wonders if there will be a Soler panel in tomorrow's papers. Though perhaps Potter is still working out his Soler system.

There's time for Jimenez to head against the angle of post and bar but at the break we have to be happy with 2-0. The big news is that Nigel is fruitless, having forgotten both his lucky banana and lucky tangerine. Though maybe Potter doesn't know the importance of Nigel's banana yet. We're joined by Alison from Clacton and Biff's brother Simon, who has bought along a copy of Massive for me to sign and is not a paid actor, whatever Matt says.

Potter gets a different glimpse of West Ham chaos theory after the break as six minutes in an Iwobi cross drifts over the defence and past a hesitant Fabianski, who has been distracted by Jimenez. West Ham have to dig in and Potter surprisingly replaces Kudus with Danny Ings.

SMELLS LIKE TEAM SPIRIT

Matt thinks this must now be the slowest West Ham team ever. Just as Matt and Nigel are both saying "prove me wrong Ings" the West Ham sub proves that Ings can only get better. He closes down a dawdling Leno and nicks the ball to Lucas Paqueta who strokes the ball into an empty net and runs to the corner flag.

Andy Irving is spotted on the pitch and does well to keep things simple. Can West Ham keep a two-goal lead this time? Of course not. Iwobi plays in an identical cross to the first goal. Mavropanos misses his header and Wilson confuses Fabianski again for the ball to drift in.

Fabianski has to save a low effort from Jimenez and it all gets very nervy. But Paqueta has shown a great energy and has his best game in ages. He  does well holding up the ball and winning free kicks against the niggly Antonee Robinson. "Come on you Irons!" booms the crowd in a much-improved atmosphere. In a sign that Potter has really changed things Matt is even heard encouraging the Greek Bloke. 

Cresswell fires a dangerous free kick across the box and Paqueta heads over. In added time it should be 3-3 when Fulham fire the ball across goal and sub Traore blazes over the bar, though credit to Ollie Scarles for closing him down. West Ham survive six minutes of added time for a great win. We go above Spurs!

According to Nigel this is the first WHU win against a top ten side since we beat Arsenal at the end of 2023. It's off to the Eagle to celebrate where the fridge (which is as unpredictable as Loppy's formations) contains Meantime and there's a pool tournament in progress. We leave trying not to heed Michael's warning that attics are not designed to take the weight of boxes of football programmes. 

West Ham got lucky at times, but there certainly seemed to be more structure and energy to the side under Graham Potter and considering the injuries this was a great win. Get a result against Palace on Saturday and we can start to look upwards. 

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 5; Wan-Bissaka 7, Kilman 6, Mavropanos 6, Emerson 7 (Cresswell 6); Rodriguez 6 (Scarles 6), Alvarez 6, Soler 7 (Irving 6), Soucek 7, Kudus 6 (Ings 6); Paqueta 8.