Tottenham Hotspur, it's happened again…

Winston and Ginge keep Spurs in their pockets

West Ham 1 Spurs 0

The concourse is full of fans shouting “Irons!” and there's no mistaking the mood of expectation, bouyed by Irons ale. Our team tonight is Fraser, Michael, Lisa and a tardy Nigel, who has been delayed speculating if West Ham can hold on to London East. He arrives to find himself next to a tourist fan wearing a half and half scarf. Wonder if they do them for West Ham and Millwall? 

Alison’s away on a hen night not watching the Chippendales and is replaced by sociologist turned student landlady Roz, who sensibly declares what great seats we have. Scott’s got a bet on Lanzini to score in a 1-0 win after 58 minutes that will win him £5000. While Matt’s had to work and is watching in a boozer with lots of Spurs fans.

From the kick-off the Hammers appear up for it against Spurs as tackles clatter in from both sides. It’s a surprise that it’s 19 minutes before we hear “get up you tart!" from the gentleman behind us.

Ayew plays in Lanzini for an early shot that he fires wide, but the signs are promising, as Kouyate and Noble out-muscle Spurs in midfield. Though Noble is lucky to only to get a yellow for one lunge, The key moment comes after 25 minutes, when West Ham repel three Spurs shots. Adrian Spills Kane’s shot, Fonte makes a brilliant block as the ball falls to Alli and then Adrian tips away Kane’s effort with his foot.

After that Lloris takes out Lanzini on the edge of the box and Kouyate shoots wide from the rebound. Bizarrely the ref doesn’t punish the Spurs keeper.

AIN'T NOBODY LIKE LANZINI 

West Ham gain a lot of belief in the second half. Adrian has to save from Son, but it’s still tight as Ayew shoots over. The 58^th minute comes and goes without Scott wining his five grand. But Lanzini does oblige seven minutes later. Cresswell plays in a cross, Ayew scuffs it off a defender and the ball falls to Lanzini, who gleefully shoots home. Manuel runs to the corner and is enveloped by fans and players as a hoarding collapses. As the ground celebrates paramedics rush to help prostrate fans. Lucky Andy Carroll isn’t playing as he might have become the first WHU player to meet his demise thanks to a hoarding.

West Ham’s three centre backs look really solid with Ginge making several heroic clearances as he channels Gandalf minus staff. Calleri almost makes it two after winning the ball from Alderweireld, as his effort is tipped away by Lloris.

WE'RE ALL HAVING A PARTY… 

“Come on you Irons!”, Bubbles and “Tottenham Hotspur, it’s happened again!” echo around a ground that suddenly feels like Upton Park under the lights. Many thousands of people seem to be considering having a party when Tottenham effed it up.

You know we’re probably playing in a parallel universe when Calleri, who has given Alderweireld and Vertongen a real battle, goes off and receives a standing ovation.

There’s still time for Fletcher, on as a late sub to get through only to see his effort deflected wide. The final whistle blows after five nervy minutes and the London Stadium erupts. Finally we have that big scalp and Bilic has silenced any doubts about his position. We’re not only staying up, West Ham go up to ninth, and might be making a late charge for the title.

For the first time ever there’s a chorus of Bubbles on the Overground from Hackney Wick and chants of “Irons!” at Highbury and Islington tube. Strange days indeed.

PLAYER RATINGS: Adrian 7; Byram 7, Reid 7, Collins 8, Fonte 7, Cresswell 7; Noble 7, Kouyate 8, Lanzini 8 (Fernandes n/a); Ayew 7 (Snodgrass 6), Calleri 7 (Fletcher n/a).