Kehrer looks like a bargain

Thilo Kehrer has signed from Paris Saint-Germain for a bargain £10.1 million and certainly looks an upgrade on Issa Diop. The German international has won three Ligue 1 titles, three cups and played in a Champions League Final with PSG. At 25 he is a good age and with just one year left on his contract comes at a bargain price for a centre-back — compare his price with the £80 million Man United paid for Harry Maguire. Another advantage is his versatility, Thilo is mainly a centre back but can also play both full-back positions and defensive midfield which in WHU's small squad is going to prove very useful. Looking at his interview on the club website he seems a level-headed individual and should be a great addition to the squad.

Forest ire as unlucky Hammers miss out

Nottingham Forest 1 West Ham 0

Luckily I was at Hearts versus Dundee United while this was happening (the Jambos won 4-1) and also enjoying the Edinburgh Festival. We’ll surely not create so many chances without scoring in a game all season.

Declan Rice had a penalty saved, Fornals and Benrahma hit the bar, Benrahma had a goal disallowed, Forest cleared one off the line from Zouma's header and Dean Henderson made a series of great saves. In addition Forest’s goal was the result of a lucky bounce, the ball deflecting off Johnson's clearance on to Awoniyi's shin and into the back of the net.

There’s much to improve on but in a weird way this defeat was encouraging, in particular the return to form from Benrahma. Hopefully we can get some confidence against Viborg and then finally beat bogey team Brighton in the must-win game next weekend. And at least we’re not Man United.

Diop on his way

It seems that Issa Diop is on his way to Fulham for a relatively-cheap £15 million — it's a £7m loss on the £22m price we paid for him. Issa is paid to play football for West Ham but made himself unavailable for the Man City match, which is unprofessional whatever his problems with the club. He would definitely have played and also put himself in the shop window for other suitors. 

It all started so well with a great performance against Man United and Jose Mourinho describing him as a "monster". But after early progress his concentration wavered and he was often at fault for goals. Under Moyes he was replaced by first Balbuena and then Dawson. He did do a fine job when called upon to play at Lyon in the Europa League, but has underachieved for the last two seasons and was fifth choice this season after Aguerd was signed. He undoubtedly has potential, but has to match it with consistency. If Issa wants to go it's best to let him, but now the club is left with a defensive crisis as Kurt Zouma is our only match-fit centre-back.

Haaland dispatches subdued Hammers

West Ham 0 Manchester City 2

In the Best Cafe Michael and Nigel are ordering double halloumi baguettes and chips for a tardy Matt and Lisa. Matt has worked his customary magic at the Euros by saying England haven't done much at corners just before Chloe Kelly scored, while Lisa is making her debut as a season ticket holder (what has she done?). 

Nigel is full of interesting stats from the Times, including the fact that Nikola Vlasic tops the list for appearances without playing a full 90 minutes last season, and that Brighton are playing four teams called United in their first four fixtures (Manchester, Newcastle, West Ham and Leeds) for the first time in 48 years. Not a lot of people know that.

There's almost a programme disaster as we arrive at the ground only to see the last programme being sold. Matt remains Zen-like, but Nigel and myself desperately search inside the security zone for more and eventually find a last box on sale in the WHU tent. Nigel barges into the queue, elbows aside a few children and grannies and manages to buy our progs — even though it's gone up to four quid. What will Liz Truss do to tackle programme inflation?

Inside the stadium we're joined by Fraser, wearing a natty Albert Steptoe/David Essex-style  neckerchief, possibly in celebration of Moyes finally buying a striker. Sadder news is that Alison and Scott have retired with Mark Noble, though West Ham will surely buy them back for a massive fee in a few years' time.

West Ham have a decent first two minutes, force a corner and then see Antonio head over from Fornals' cross. After that City take control, with full-backs Cancelo and Walker pushed into midfield and Lanzini, Fornals, Soucek and Rice outnumbered and outthought.

Haaland almost gets his head to Foden's cross as it becomes attack versus defence and the Grealish Sniper reappears. Fabianski has to go off after injuring his hip while making a brave punch and is replaced by Areola. When Gundogan plays Haaland through, the substitute keeper hesitates for a second and then brings down the £51m striker. Haaland confidently dispatches the penalty and does a sit-down meditation celebration — possibly in honour of Matt's new found indifference to pleasure, pain and programme collecting. 

At half-time Nigel deploys his lucky banana and the Irons have a slightly better start to the second half. The key moment comes when Rice gets under the ball and fires over the bar when he should have scored. 

SCAMA THE HAMMER

Subs Scamacca and Benrahma at least give City something different to think about. The big Italian tests Ederson with a fine header only to be ruled offside. He is a handful and despite his lack of pre-season games looks like he can adapt quickly to the PL. Benrahma also tests Ederson with a low shot, but with space now available the inevitable happens. Rodri finds De Bruyne, who dissects the West Ham centre-backs with a fine ball. Haaland shifts the ball on to his left foot and strokes home. "We're not really here!" sing the away fans.

After that it's a question of how many City will get on a very hot afternoon. It's been a strangely passive performance against a great team. When I remark that our pressing game isn't working Michael says, quite accurately, "we're playing a de-pressing game." 

There's nearly a fight behind us as the over-aggressive fan who has been giving expletive-laden advice to the side to just effing run (not that wise in 27C) is told to just say it in his head by a man whose patience has snapped. There's a lot of Boris-style bluster as the Vicar's Son asks, "why can't some fans just stay positive?"

Haaland misses a good chance to get a hat-trick and Coventry and Downes make their PL debuts in a minute-long cameo. West Ham scored in every home PL game last season, now that record has been blown in one match. To be fair, the Irons have been without the much-missed Dawson, Aguerd and Diop, who has shoddily "not made himself available" according to Moyes, while Scamacca and Cornet will improve the side. This result does not define our season and at least we only have to play City once more. 

We walk via the giant bell exit to the Eagle at Leyton – a decent boozer with plenty of room and the Who on the jukebox, even if it's lacking in decent beers. The landlady is friendly and one customer who announces, "I'm a born-again virgin!' seems to have taken a shine to our table. Inspired by the fracas behind us at the LS, Matt reminisces about rows between our own supporters, including the time a fan announced that Mattie Etherington was the worst player he had ever seen, only to be quickly corrected with a list of numerous WHU non-legends.

The game against Forest and Brighton will give us a much better idea of how the season will go. But this was nothing like the team that disrupted City in the 2-2 draw at the end of last season and a rapid improvement is now needed.

PLYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6 (Areola 5); Coufal 5, Zouma 6, Johnson 5, Cresswell 5; Rice 6, Soucek 5; Fornals 5 (Coventry n/a), Lanzini 5 (Benrahma 6), Bowen 5 (Downes n/a); Antonio 5 (Scamacca 6).

Bang Bang Maxwel's silver Hammer...

Good news is that WHU have secured Burnley's Maxwel Cornet for a bargain £17.5 million thanks to the release clause in his contract — and presumably escaped a late attempt by Frank Lampard to kidnap Maxwel and escape down the River Lea on a speed boat heading to Merseyside. 

Cornet scored nine goals in a mediocre Burnley team last season and you only have to look at his explosive volley against Aston Villa to see his potential. There was also a stunning free kick at Leeds from outside the box and two more brilliant volleys against Southampton and Leicester. He also scored some tap-ins and headers so clearly knows where the onion sack is — nine goals in 28 full matches is very respectable for a winger. Burnley fans say he can be inconsistent but Moyes is surely the man to cure that. Not too sure he can play left wing-back, but overall this is a very exciting signing at a good price. And as my pal Nigel suggests, Cornet is a player who might be able to blow his own trumpet.

And yes we have no Onana. As for the Amadou Onana saga, it looks like he is now heading to Everton, with the Scousers presumably offering more in wages after West Ham agreed a £33m fee. As with Lingard, it's right not to break the wage structure or pay him more than Rice and Bowen and saddle the club with a massive earner for five years unless he's a world-beater. The lad is only 20 and relatively unproven. We presumably paid Yarmolenko £110k a week to get the deal over the line and that didn't work out well. Everton have massive financial problems and it's a big risk for them to pay out huge wages. As it is West Ham have already made five signings and progress is being made.

Farewell King Arthur

So Arthur Masuaku has gone on a season's loan, with an option to buy, to Besiktas. He couldn't defend very well in a back four but was a different proposition as a wing-back. Arthur was with us for all six seasons at the London Stadium and had enough moments to make himself a bit of a cult figure. 

No-one will ever forget his Messi-like lob over Chelsea's Mendy last season. Arthur modestly claimed it was a cross but he protested too much, as actually it was a moment of genius. He seemed to like playing against Chelsea, as another of is best performances was a mesmerising game at wing-back in the 1-0 victory during Moyes' first spell at the London Stadium, when Chelsea just couldn't get the ball off him. Then there was some memorable ball-juggling against Spurs which features on most his YouTube highlights. As my WHU colleague Matt tweeted, "world-beating at times, infuriating at others". Though on last season's form he really was better than Lukaku. Here's a picture of Matt's prized Masuaku mug. Good luck in Turkey, Arthur.

It's come home

Congratulations to the Lionesses and also to my WHU fellow season ticket holders Lisa and Matt who were at the European Championship Final at Wembley and are long-time supporters of women's football. What an enjoyable afternoon it was and how refreshing to see players express unadulterated joy. In the media-trained world of the men's game you can't imagine those exultant on-pitch interviews happening, nor the players ambushing their manager's conference to stand on the table and sing "football's coming home!". There wasn't any play-acting either and the Grealish sniper was absent, though Jill Scott did use some tasty expletives when fouled just to prove how competitive it all was. And there were celebrations without any aggro. Comedian Mark Steel summed it up with his tweet: "Is it time to smash up a bar and tip bins in the street? Not sure of the etiquette for a women’s final." This football lark might catch on.