Great moment for Afolayan as Hammers demolish Donny

West Ham 4 Doncaster 0 (FA Cup)

It's on to BBC iPlayer for this one as Fornals sweeps home in the second minute after a cross from Fredericks. News filters through on WhatsApp that a tardy Matt has missed the goal as he was fetching his and Lisa's jalapeno cheese toasties. Middle-class fans eh?

Lanzini misses a great chance after fine interplay with Benrahma and then it's the false nine's Yarmolenko's turn to fire wide when well-placed. A cavalier Moyes is playing three number tens in Benrahma, Fornals and Lanzini and the Hammers' midfield play is too much for Darren Moore's League One side. Number two arrives after a great through ball from Benrahma finds Yarmolenko, who scores with a lovely dink over the keeper.

Thankfully the result is never in doubt during the second half. The third is a Butler own goal after Mark Noble's corner causes confusion in the Doncaster defence. Soucek forces two good saves  from Balcombe with a great volley and then a header. Doncaster hit the bar through Matt Smith but before the Time Lord can find any more time and space he's subbed.

Moyes is able to bring on young striker Oladapo Afolayan for Soucek after 70 minutes. This results in the game's best moment as Fredericks bursts down the right and fires a cross-shot at Balcombe. Afolayan shows good instincts to tap home the rebound and produces a lovely smile after scoring on his debut. That's the way to celebrate Sebastien.

Benrahma tests the keeper with a free kick but it's a shame he can't get a tap-in to boost his confidence. But we get to see another two debuts in goalkeeper Trott and the promising Baptiste on the right. All in all a professional performance and rather enjoyable viewing. The Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's gaff in Kew Gardens remains on.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6 (Trott n/a); Fredericks 7 (Baptiste 6), Diop 6, Balbuena 6, Johnson 6; Fornals 7, Soucek 6 (Afolayan 7), Noble 6, Benrahma 7, Lanzini 6; Yarmolenko 7.  

Something Better Change

West Ham 1 Doncaster 1

Best part of the day is in Ken’s Café where there’s a sighting of DC and the wee man, back from self-imposed Hammers exile and being informed the Hammers play in claret and blue. Nigel’s seen the Stranglers last night and is watching Girlschool tonight (aren’t they more Middleagedmumschool these days?). Phill, Joe and Matt speculate about the washing-up arguments when Wilko Johnson flatshared with Jean-Jacques Burnel. Then it’s all downhill.

What a bizarre game. We completely dominate the first 15 minutes. Vaz Te scores in the first minute only to have what looks a good goal disallowed for a push on Chimbonda. Then Cole hits the bar with a volley and on nine minutes Tomkins' header results in a goalmouth melee and Nolan prods the ball home after a scramble in the box.

It all goes wrong after 25 minutes when the lively Vaz Te has to go off with what appears to be a hamstring strain. Baldock is forced to play wide on the left because of Allardyce’s refusal to play two up front and Collision and Lansbury aren’t contributing much in midfield. McCartney is out of position at right-back and Taylor is unable to get many crosses in at left back. We’re denied what looks like a blatant penalty just before half-time after a blatant handball in the area.

In the second half we all agree Something Better Change. It’s a terrible performance and we don’t create a chance, sitting back and inviting Doncaster to attack. Allardyce’s refrain that there are no easy games becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We have a huge wage bill compared to Doncaster and proven Premiership players. We have the strongest squad in the Championship yet no-one has the strength of character to take control of the game. Matt’s attempts to be positive last until the 70^th minute when he announces we’re a bit crap.

Green has already had to make a fine save when good work by Diouf results in Coppinger equalizing on 73 minutes. Diouf should win it for Doncaster a few minutes later, but is foiled by a great save from Green. Even Tomkins is booting the ball into touch and the midfield is being bypassed. The limping Cole is clearly incapable of playing two games in four days, yet mystifyingly Big Sam refuses to bring on Maynard. Apart from Green and maybe Faye no-one plays well.

“We need to Get a Grip on ourselves, as the money’s quite good,” suggests Matt as we head to the real-ale desert of The Central for Stella in a skiff and reflect that there are No More Heroes anymore. Is our season going Down in the Sewer? Or can we Straighten Out?  How many fans will Walk on By? For the first time this season we start to wonder what the dates of the play-offs are. 

Allardyce and the players can’t blame the crowd for this or hide behind excuses about injuries to O’Brien, Reid and Faubert. Yes, we are unbeaten in seven games but we've drawn four at home in a row. It’s a second-half performance they should apologise for and on this form we don’t deserve to be in the top two. Reading are now level on points and can’t stop winning. Against Leeds we have to get some desire, keep the ball on the ground, get in some low crosses and demand the players take some responsibility.