Wolves tamed by Kudus and Paqueta's hat-trick of assists

West Ham 3 Wolves 0

The big news at the London Stadium is that Nigel has a new lucky Christmas West Ham jumper, gifted by CQ's nephew. Fraser has passed a late fitness test, Matt and Lisa are taking in just the one game this weekend, while eventually The Gav joins us after delays en route. Having seen Peter Pan at Ilford MIchael is presumably away at another pantomime that isn't at the London Stadium.

Craig Ballon D'Orson gets a good reception from the home fans. The Irons start off with a barrage of corners testing the Wolves defence and Kudus making some great runs. The away side come into it a bit more, but it's from a Wolves corner that West Ham score. Lucas Paqueta bravely wins a header and then has the vision to play a great ball out to Mohammed Kudus. Mo has two defenders in front of him but gets inside his man to fire home a low shot. Wolves' reserve keeper Bentley should perhaps have got a stronger hand to it, but it's still a fine strike. 

Kudus and Paqueta sit on the hoardings having a chat by way of celebration, in front of the bemused Black Country away crew. "Just sold my bus to Mohammed Kudus!" suggests Fraser

The second sees Zouma intercept and find Lucas, who again plays a lovely ball up to Kudus. He outspeeds Dawson and the Wolves defence to make the finish look easy. 

Paqueta starts to do some party tricks. Cunha has an effort well saved by Fabianski, but it's nearly three when Paqueta finds Bowen who pings a shot against the inside of the post that then rolls across the goal-line. Gary O'Neil gets booked protesting after an elbow from RoboCop Coufal merits no punishment. 

After the break West Ham suffer their customary inertia. Wolves attack for a dodgy 15 minutes and think they gave pulled one back when Sarabia taps home. But after an interminable VAR delay it's ruled out for being marginally offside.

That's a warning to West Ham not to sit back. Just as Mystic Matt is saying we can't get Bowen into the game, the West Ham man plays a beautiful one-two with Paqueta and races towards the Wolves goal. Even when faced by two defenders he still manages to find the far corner. Three-nil to the Cockney Boys and three assists for Paqueta.

There's still time for Ward-Prowse to send a free kick just past the post as I wonder if "Just sold my house to James Ward-Prowse!" might take off as a chant. Lisa leaves ten minutes early to get to work and misses not-very-exciting cameos from Ings and Mubama as Moyes sees the game out. A welcome change to beat someone comfortably at home and even keep a clean sheet. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Coufal 6 (Kehrer n/a), Zouma 6, Aguerd 6, Emerson 7; Alvarez 7 (Fornals 5), Soucek 6, Paqueta 9 (Mubama n/a), Ward-Prowse 7; Bowen 8, Kudus 8 (Ings n/a).