It's off to our new lucky pub the Eagle, via Maryland station. Fraser's directions prove better than Nigel's short cut to the Black Lion, though my trip involves an unexpected detour to Forest Gate as the rear train doors don't open at Maryland due to the short platform. Lisa has hot-footed it from a poetry reading and Fraser is there with Sinead who is providing Tayto crisps and peanuts plus East London Pale Ale for our table and a personalised glass for Fraser. Michael is AWOL possibly watching experimental fringe theatre in the suburbs, while Nigel is searching for a pub showing the game in Wolverhampton where he's visiting his pal Adrian. Strangely we're the only Hammers fans in the pub, but we do get a seat.
It's a raucous atmosphere in the Netherlands and the Hammers come under early pressure. But Zouma and Aguerd have good games and the side looks determined to learn from last season's semi-final defeat. Antonio starts to use his strength effectively and finds Paqueta, who curls a left foot shot against the outside of the post.
The second half sees more Alkmaar pressure. Rice does get in a long-range effort to force a save but at the other end Kehrer very nearly scores an own goal, forcing a fine save from Areola. Alkmaar have a good claim for a penalty turned down after Aguerd tackles man and ball in the box. Areola fails to gather a cross cleanly and the ball touches Zouma's hand, though VAR correctly rules that he couldn't get out of the way.
The occasion might be getting to Matt, who harangues Moyes for being negative, Paqueta for poor passing, Kehrer for poor crossing, Benrahma for lack of end product, Soucek for being Soucek, Bowen for not taking on his man and Areola for flapping at crosses. He even wants to bring Fornals on, though Mystic May suggests he won't provide much of a goal threat. We try to calm Matt's nerves with more East London Pale Ale.
We are updating the TV-less Nigel on WhatsApp, but dishearteningly we learn that he has forgotten his lucky banana. West Ham's chance comes when Aguerd fails to connect properly after a goalmouth melee. Meanwhile Fraser sagely states that although we're not playing that well he can't see Alkmaar scoring. The clock ticks on to 90 minutes and there is set to be a further agonising five minutes of added time.
WEST HAM ARE MASSIVE!
Paqueta takes it into the corner. But still Alkmaar come forward. We're in the 94th minute when the ball falls to Fornals on the halfway line. Suddenly Pablo finds his inner Lionel Messi, nicking the ball through the legs of Clasie and racing towards the AZ goal. He's still on the edge of the box when he shoots firmly into the corner for an exemplary finish. YEEEEEEES! "Look at his face!" exclaims Lisa, as Pablo climbs with some difficulty on to the hoardings to salute the joyous Hammers fans. We never doubted you, son.
"It's lucky we all stayed so positive," suggests Matt. Fraser looks emotional as Moyes does a dad jig on the touchline having probably saved his job. Declan Rice celebrates like a man who will surely reject a move to no-hopers Arsenal. And there is dancing in the streets of Wolverhampton as Nigel realises his Cup Final breakfast in Kew is back on.
The whistle goes seconds later and unbelievably WHU are through to our first European final since 1976. It's then that some AZ Herberts in quilted jackets start to attack the away section. Some of the West Ham players get involved, concerned that their families are in that section, though the trouble is soon quelled and the lads return to celebrating with the fans.
Moyes is punching the air, Nobes is in tears again, Cressy is emotional when interviewed on the tele and everyone says Pablo is a "good lad". Moyesy looks elated when interviewed by the Cole brothers and Robin Van Persie. We celebrate with more Pale Ale. It's just a shame that the final is being played at a 20,000 capacity stadium and we probably won't get tickets. A screening at the London Stadium would certainly help.
But after the semi-final of the Europa League last year it's real progress to be playing Fiorentina in the Conference final and having the chance of qualifying for the Europa League should we win it. Always in doubt! Come on you Irons!
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