Hammers draw blank against inspired De Gea

Manchester United 1 West Ham 0 

We seem to have perfected the art of losing unluckily by one goal to the top six clubs. The first 37 minutes saw United restricted to a couple of efforts from Ronaldo and Rashford that were comfortably dealt with by Fabianski. Benrahma almost got through on a couple of occasions, but it was generally unambitious fare from the Hammers, who seemed to be playing in Blackpool's discarded kit.

Flynn Downes is a promising holding midfielder but plays virtually every ball backwards to Rice — playing him in the number ten role seems bizarre when Antonio, Fornals or Lanzini would be a much better fit. The goal arrives when Eriksen collects a throw-in and spins in a lovely cross for Rashford to get ahead of Kehrer and power home a header.

Areola has to come on for the injured Fabianski and after picking up a silly booking and then making a rash challenge Scamacca is taken off for his own protection. Antonio makes a difference with his hold-up play and for the final half an hour the Hammers give it a real go. Dalot has to make a great defensive header to thwart Antonio, and then Michail tests De Gea with a long-range piledriver.

De Gea then produces a great flying save to deny Zouma who has got his head on Cresswell's cross. Fred heads against the post at the other end, but still West Ham come forward. Fornals, on for Downes, does really well to pull the ball back for Bowen's goalbound shot to be deflected wide by Harry Maguire.

In the last action of the day Benrahma's run causes panic and Rice sends in a hypersonic missile of a shot that De Gea somehow tips wide. WHU really should have got a point from this and you have to hope that at some point our luck will turn in front of goal.

So that's unlucky defeats at Chelsea, Liverpool and United. At least we have the chance to get some revenge at the London Stadium after the World Cup. And to look on the bright side, Michail Antonio had a good game as a pundit on Match of the Day 2. It's not a time for panic, but Moyes needs to restore some adventure, get Paqueta fit and consider playing Scamacca and Antonio together against Palace.

Five out of five wins sees Irons top Europa Group

West Ham 1 Silkeborg IF 0 (Europa Conference League)

Despite the strange ticket office practice of not selling us tickets next to an empty single seat, Matt, Lisa, Fraser, Nigel and myself are able to find enough wide open spaces to sit together in our usual spot at the London Stadium in our second home match in four days.

The evening begins with the usual flame throwers and a mass display of red and white scarves from the Silkeborg fans — who seem a much friendlier bunch than the Belgians of Anderlecht with their flares and seat lobbing. 

Antonio goes close early on, shooting at the keeper's leg after a fine through ball from Fornals. Nayef Aguerd finally make his debut and he looks an assured presence with a cultured left foot. It's a good run-out for him against a side that looks Championship standard. 

The Irons continue to press with Benrahma setting up Coventry for a shot just past the post. The only goal comes after half a hour. The ball appears to be drifting off, but keeper Larsen foolishly rushes off his line and Antonio goes down like a felled oak after slight contact. Not sure it's a penalty at all, but Lanzini dispatches it, even though the keeper gets close. Benrahma heads just wide at the end of the half after a good move involving Lanzini and Coufal.

The second half sees Fornals drag a great chance wide after a defender passes straight to him. But slowly West Ham's B team start to ease off and Klynge tests Areola with a low effort. The West Ham keeper then has to make a great leap to defy Tengstedt. Are we about to be assimilated by the Borg?

At the other end it's almost two as Benrahma cuts inside from a corner only to see Larsen's foot deflect the ball wide. Moyes plays Antonio and Scamacca together for a whole 16 minutes, while Rice and Soucek are brought on late to shore it up. We should have had more, but a team of squad players has done a professional job.

We head off to the Olde Black Bull for some pints of Razor Back where Fraser says there's nothing he enjoys more than a clean sheet and a 1-0 victory through a dodgy penalty. Nigel's hoping that Barrow versus Crewe will be a better game, where he's completing his 92 grounds aided by groundhopper Reg. And inspired by Conor Coventry he's wondering if any players have played for a club with the same surname — and thinks we should loan Coventry to Coventry just to make it happen.

That's six home wins in a row now, even if three were in the Europa Conference. We've won the group, the kids can play at FCSB and it's European football again in March. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 7; Coufal 6, Johnson 7, Ogbonna 6, Aguerd 6 (Kehrer 6), Emerson 6; Coventry 6 (Rice n/a), Lanzini 7, Fornals 6 (Downes 6), Benrahma 7 (Scamacca 6); Antonio 6 (Soucek n/a).

Mark Noble at the Newham Bookshop

Here's a date for your diaries. Mark Noble will be signing his new autobiography Boleyn Boy at the Newham Bookshop in Barking Road on Sunday November 13 at 2pm. It would have been Mark's local bookshop in his days of growing up in Canning Town and this will be one of the first events to publicise his book. 

Boleyn Boy, published by HarperCollins, describes Mark's journey from boot boy to club captain, bossing the midfield, taking pressure penalties and playing for a host of different managers including Alan Pardew, Alan Curbishley, Gianfranco Zola, Avram Grant, Sam Allardyce, Slaven Bilic, Manuel Pellegrini and David Moyes. Should be a cracking event.

King Kurt and Benrahma see off Cherries

West Ham 2 Bournemouth 0

At the London Stadium Michael has been watching something called Doctor Who, Nigel has forgotten to eat his lucky banana but is still dreaming of being a Highway Star after watching Deep Purple live and Fraser is liking the Tory idea of replacing the gaffer every six weeks. Matt and Lisa complete our party, on a rare day of only going to one match.

It's a bit of a strange selection by Moyes. Flynn Downes is played in Paqueta's number ten role rather than being kept as a holding midfielder and allowing Rice and Soucek to get forward. But the Hammers dominate most of the first half, going close with first a Soucek header and then, after a Downes shot is blocked, Cresswell draws a great save from Neto. At the other end Soucek gives the ball away and allows Solanke to get a shot in.

Bowen isn't really getting into the game and Scamacca is outnumbered, though Benrahma is a threat on the left and even though he makes a few rickets always wants the ball. The breakthrough comes from a corner just before the break. It's an ugly goal, but we'll take it. The ball strikes Kehrer on the arms, Soucek heads it back in and Zouma gets a flick to head it home. VAR gives it despite Kehrer's handball, as it is deemed not deliberate and in the phase of play before the goal is scored. You can always rely on Mike Dean!

Meanwhile Mystic Matt has to delete his half-time tweet criticising Bournemouth play-acting as both Solanke and keeper Neto go off injured. If there's an actual severed leg he might consider an injury genuine...

The second half sees Rice have a shot saved by sub keeper Travers, but the Hammers slowly let Bournemouth into the game. Downes fades in his attacking role and Johnson has a bit of a nightmare at right-back, while Scamacca tries to take on one man too many. Benrahma is WHU's best outlet, at times showing great control and having shots from all angles. 

Ryan Fredericks gets a good round of applause from the home fans when he goes off. Antonio comes on for Scamacca, throws himself to the ground a lot and doesn't hold it up very well, in a much less effective cameo than William Russell, Sophie Aldred, Janet Fielding and David Tennant in Doctor Who. Nigel remarks that it seems a long time ago when we were playing well and in the top four. 

Bizarrely Moyes doesn't make any further changes until the 88th minute, bringing on Coufal and Fornals. We're into the 90th minute as Coufal gets in a cross that the diving Zemora blocks with his hand. It's hard to see how the defender could have got out of the way, but according to the letter of the law and Mike Dean, it's a penalty. The newly-blonde Said Benrahma smashes it home in emphatic style. Have we finally found our penalty taker?

There is much shock when Matt says he is giving the man of the match award to Benrahma — having obviously never doubted him. From flirting with the bottom three West Ham go up to tenth in the congested Premier League. We deserved to win on possession, though have had to rely on a couple of contentious VAR calls — still, that's an impressive five home wins in a row, the first time the Irons have done this since the Boleyn days.

We head to the Olde Black Bull, which is serving Tribute and Wherry, and sensibly decline to discuss emotions, instead sticking to trivia. We go though Scottish islands, major UK towns Nigel hasn't been to (Dundee take a bow) and MPs without a football team in their constituency. While it's left to Nigel to come up with some absolutely world class trivia — Said Benrahma has scored three goals this season all under different prime ministers. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Johnson 5, Zouma 7, Kehrer 6, Cresswell 6; Rice 7, Soucek 6, Benrahma 8, Downes 5 (Fornals n/a); Bowen 6 (Coufal n/a), Scamacca 5 (Antonio 5).

Benrahma deserves a start

There's been plenty in the press indicating that David Moyes isn't happy with Said Benrahma's lack of end product and he can indeed be a very frustrating player to watch. But he's been rather hard done by this season and with Paqueta injured represents WHU's best chance of producing the unexpected. There have been signs of more end product this season. Benrahma has scored twice in the Europa Conference, he's hit the woodwork at Forest and Everton, he assisted when Cornet hit the post at Chelsea, assisted Rice for the equaliser at Southampton and was part of the move that created a very good late chance for Soucek at Anfield. Fornals will work all day, but if WHU need creativity then the Algerian deserves to start against Bournemouth.

Penalty miss proves costly at Anfield

Liverpool 1 West Ham 0

A blow that Paqueta missed this one with a shoulder injury and Moyes opted to go with Flynn Downes as a third holding midfielder. It began as the Darwin Nunez show, with the striker forcing a great save from Fabianski after he hit a stunning half-volley. Nunez then powerfully headed home Tsimikas's cross, forced another good save from Fabianski and then struck the post with another volley.

But shortly before the break the under-pressure Irons had a chance to come back into it. Downes' knock-on to Bowen saw the forward barged over by Gomez and after some VAR debate a penalty was awarded. Bowen never looked that confident taking it in front of the Kop and Alisson pulled off an athletic save. Not that bad a bad penalty, but perhaps we still need to get an assessment from the Office for Penalty-Taking Responsibility. Just after that Kehrer went close with a header from a corner.

After the break Liverpool had more chances and Zouma almost scored an own goal. But subs Benrahma and Antonio caused problems, and credit to Moyes for finally playing Michail and Scamacca together, albeit briefly. 

Scamacca shot wastefully wide when set up by Antonio with Benrahma free in the middle. Benrahma didn't connect properly with his volley after Rice's dropping cross fell at his feet. Then after great work from Benrahma and Bowen on the left Soucek looked certain to score only to be robbed by a great tackle from James Milner and a deflection off Alisson.

In recent seasons we have perfected the art of losing unluckily at Anfield. At some stage we have to start taking our chances against the big teams away, although this was a decent performance and at times we had one of the best teams in Europe worried, while youngsters like Downes and Scamacca will have learned from playing here. Irons!

Rice cracker earns point at Saints

Southampton 1 West Ham 1

Listened to this while laid up in bed with Covid and not sure it was the best medicine for convalescing. Emerson went close early on after good work by Scamacca, but the Saints came back with Fabianski saving with his feet from Adams. The Saints took the lead as the referee obstructed Bowen, preventing him tackling Perraud, who fired home a deflected shot. Infamy, infamy...

Fabianski had to make a brilliant low save from Adams but the response from the Irons was good as Scamacca fired two efforts just wide and then crossed for Paqueta to head against the outside of the post. Moyes also reckons we should have had a penalty for a foul on Soucek and MOD2 did indeed reveal a judo throw on the Czech by Perraud.

The second half was all West Ham as the Irons forced numerous corners. Sub Benrahma made a difference. Rice played a swift one-two with Benrahma and curled a lovely shot into the far corner for his first league goal in a year, topped off by a knee-slide celebration in front of the away fans. Scamacca had an effort saved late on and Benrahma a goal bound shot blocked, but the determined Saints held on. 

The worrying thing is that we couldn't win with 61 per cent possession, 25 shots and 14 corners. Perhaps the injured Dawson and Zouma might have made a difference at set-pieces. Still, it was a decent performance overall in terms of pressure and surely the goals will come.

Hammers win despite late flare-up

West Ham 2 Anderlecht 1 (Europa Conference League)

The big news at the London Stadium is that Nigel and Gav have been to see Uriah Heep last week and on Thursday are seeing Deep Purple, though Lisa would prefer Bucks Fizz. And Nigel has eaten his lucky banana in the tunnel by Carpenters Road, a tactic that has resulted in three wins in a row.

It’s a noisy midweek crowd as the Hammers soon go two goals up. Benrahma curls a fine free kick through the Anderlecht wall (Matt has never doubted him) and then after a good run by Emerson, Bowen lashes home from the edge of the box. Anderlecht have some late chances but it’s 2-0 at the interval, with an injury to Ogbonna the only downside.

There’s a medical drama at half-time as an unfortunate fan falls down the steps. The paramedics do a professional job as he’s eventually taken away on a stretcher with his neck in a brace and his arm in a sling.

The Irons continue to miss chances as Fornals and sub Soucek should both do better. The away fans have been setting off flares all game and there are unpleasant scenes as seats are thrown and flares thrown at the West Ham fans. “Some stupid with a flare gun, could burn this place to the ground,” opines Nigel.

When Anderlecht score a late penalty even though Johnson played the ball, more flares are lobbed and Fraser says sagely, “Eddie and the Hot Rods wrote a song about fighting Belgians.”

A shame about the crowd trouble but at the end of the evening it’s job done as the Irons make it four out of four wins in Europe. A good result considering Moyes made seven changes and this ensures European football after Christmas.

Paqueta and Scamacca shine as Hammers come back to beat Fulham

West Ham 3 Fulham 1

Missed this match due to being in Barcelona on a scouting mission to the Sagrada Familia (Gaudi quite possibly based his design on Nigel's lucky banana). Looking at the highlights the Hammers had a dodgy start, with Pereira lashing home after getting behind Kehrer and past Zouma. It was a rasping shot but should Fabianski have done better? It was nearly two when Dan James hit the bar for the away side.

But thankfully at the other end Paqueta is starting to find pockets of space and establish a  partnership with Scamacca. Lucas creates three great chances for the Italian, crossing for Gianluca to force a great save from Leno with a header, playing a through ball which the Italian strokes wide and then creating another headed opportunity as he plays it out from the back for Cresswell to cross to the striker.

The breakthrough comes after Rice feeds Paqueta who finds Cresswell with a great ball out of defence and West Ham won a corner. Despite three warnings from the ref, Pereira takes Dawson out with an American Football-style block to concede a stupid penalty. Bowen does the rest, and don't believe Danny Murphy's one-sided analysis that it shouldn't have been given. It's no coincidence that WHU's form has improved at both ends since D'Orson returned.

The second half saw West Ham take the lead as Paqueta dinked the ball through to Scamacca who delicately lobbed the keeper. After a long VAR debate the goal was given as it was inconclusive if the ball had brushed the strikers' fingers as he controlled it. That's Macca's sixth goal of the season and like all quality strikers he keeps going even when he's missed a few.

Cresswell has to block Cairney's goalbound shot but at the death Antonio wraps it up. He uses his strength to get past the Fulham defence then fires straight at Leno, which turns into a one-two off the keeper. Leno and Ream then get in a terrible muddle and Michail keeps calm to sidestep them and place the ball into the net. There's been a handball in the build-up but it was in the first phase of the attack and we'll take whatever VAR luck we can get after the Chelsea debacle, despite Silva's tantrum.

WhatsApp messages from our group reveal that the Eagle has Spitfire in stock but no Basqueland IPA and tapas as yet, while Matt is probably saying how much he loves VAR. That's three wins in a row and three in three for Scamacca. But the biggest plus is that Paqueta is now looking like the playmaker West Ham have needed. For too long we've relied on Rice and Bowen, adding Paqueta and Scamacca to the mix can only help. Irons!

Scamacca seals win in Belgium

Anderlecht 0 West Ham 1 (Europa Conference League) 

Not too much happened in the first half bar a late miss from Benrahma when set up by great play from Lanzini and Bowen. Said had a better low shot saved early in the second half, but a series of Hammers' corners failed to provide a breakthrough and it was left to Moyes to bring on the big three of Rice, Scamacca and Paqueta.

Paqueta looked on form from his first touch, a great pass with the outside of his left boot, and then produced some fine Fancy Dan control on the touchline. The winner came as Rice played a crossfield pass to Coufal, who headed back to Paqueta. Lucas dinked a clever ball over the onrushing defender to Scamacca who turned to fire hard and low into the corner. West Ham's victory was assured when Areola made a brilliant one-handed save to deny Wolves' on-loan striker Fabio Silva.

The other big plus of the night was that Flynn Downes had a very solid game in midfield and looked like he could provide real competition for Soucek — while Michael and Fraser reported from the Eagle in Leyton that they have some bitter in the fridge just for me. Meanwhile away Irons Matt and Lisa were watching the game from the Belgian Riviera. Three wins out of three and it's looking increasingly likely we'll be in Europe after Christmas. Irons!

Bench warmers show strength in depth

Results might have been average this season but the squad has certainly improved. Looking at the bench on Saturday it's probably the strongest set of subs we've had in Premier League history, consisting of Coufal, Fornals, Antonio, Lanzini, Areola, Downes, Ogbonna, Benrahma and Emerson. That's a lot of experience and talent and with that group we have to hope that finally Moyes can make game-changing substitutions. And we even have two strikers... 

West Ham tame Wolves for much-needed win

West Ham 2 (two) Wolves 0

In the Best Cafe Nigel and Michael join me for a cup of Rosie Lee. Michael the Whovian's had his Covid and flu boosters and says he might be away with the fairies, so much so that he is hallucinating that A Yeti used to play for West Ham, Michael Antonio once crashed his car dressed as an abominable snowman and de Zarbi are now managing Brighton. 

Groundhopper Nigel's been to see Oxford City play, while there's no sign of Matt and Lisa, who in a desperate bid to make the blog are seeing three games in one day, fitting in the Under-18s and the Under-21s at Rush Green before today's match, as you do.

We head off to the match and desperate times times require desperate measures. With West Ham in the bottom three Nigel, in a break from all precedent, opts to eat his lucky banana on the way to the match. Inside the London Stadium we meet Fraser, who clearly anticipating no goals, hasn't bought any cigars with him, plus gameahollcs Matt and Lisa.

It's probably West Ham's strongest team. Kehrer is in at right-back where he plays for Germany and Paqueta, Cornet and Scamacca all start. Wolves play some neat football in midfield and Fabianski has to make a fairly routine save from a long-range Podence shot and then has to make a much more difficult save from Jonny.

But the Irons slowly come into the game and Scamacca and Bowen both look in the mood. Cornet heads on and Scamacca fires just wide from distance. Bowen runs at the defence and his shot is parried by Sa only for Macca to prod it wide of the post. Cornet has to go off injured and is replaced by Fornals, who works hard but misses with a couple of volleys later on.

But the breakthrough comes after 29 minutes, as Scamacca releases Bowen, who runs at the Wolves defence. He's halted by three Wolves defenders but as the ball rebounds out to Scamacca on the edge of the box the Italian takes a touch and fires a thumping half-volley into the corner. He needed that first league goal and runs to the fans with an ear-cupping celebration. 

JARROD MARCHES ON

At half-time we have a welcome surprise, meeting returning Irons Steve the Cornish Postie and Scott the Clacton Nostradamus. There's a scare at the start of the second half as Kehrer clears an innocuous ball straight to Traore who volleys wide. But minutes later West Ham get a second. Kehrer's shot is blocked but Bowen is alive to the rebound, controlling the ball with his chest and then head before firing in a quick low shot into the corner. A great finish for his first league goal of the season.

Wolves, without three strikers, have been powderpuff in attack, and bringing on Diego Costa inspires a chorus of "Stick your blue flag up your arse…" from the home fans, though the burly Spaniard makes a difference. Costa puts a free header wide and then crosses for Podence to score, though it's correctly disallowed for a marginal offside.

Antonio comes on for Scamacca and is his usual mix of some good pace and control but poor shooting decisions, much to the chagrin of the Vicar's Son. But the Hammers hold out. The defence looks a lot better with no-nonsense Craig Dawson in it. Zouma has been solid in the air and Kehrer has been quietly effective in our first home win. Moyes will love the clean sheet and for the first time this season in the league we've scored twice.

Al we have to do to ensure another win is for Matt and Lisa to go to three games in a day, Michael to have a Covid jab and Nigel to eat his lucky banana before the kick-off. Our change in luck could also be connected with the fact that my lucky 1970s hooped away strip has come out of storage after two months of subsidence work. Not that we're superstitious.

We retreat to Leyton and the Eagle, where there are at least bottles of un-chilled Spitfire on offer. As Gimme all Your Lovin' pays on the juke box our party discusses bands beginning with 'Z' (getting ZZ Top, the Zutons and the Zombies, though Michael correctly points out that ZZ Top begins with Zee and not Z) and a fight almost starts when Nigel tells Fraser that the West Ham way might be no more. Still, it's been a satisfying evening with a vital win and another winnable game against Fulham is coming up. Hopefully the Hammers will soon be looking upwards.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 7; Kehrer 7, Zouma 7, Dawson 7, Cresswell 6; Rice 7. Soucek 5, Paqueta 5 (Emerson 6), Cornet 5 (Fornals 6);  Scamacca 7, (Antonio 6), Bowen 8.

New signings need to be given a chance

The quality of West Ham's new signings can be seen from the international break. Scamacca almost scored with a header for Italy against England and Emerson made a late cameo; Kehrer played at right-back for Germany against England at Wembley; Areola had a rare outing for France and Paquetta played twice for Brazil. While established Hammer Declan Rice also had a solid match for England. 

It's been forgotten that Scamacca had a nasty virus for a fortnight, but with Antonio also on duty with Jamaica it's surely time to give him a start. There's a fair piece by Jacob Steinberg in the Guardian today, pointing out that the Hammers have been unlucky in terms of hitting the woodwork and being robbed by VAR. But even so, having spent £150 million, Moyes needs to get Paqueta going quickly and also give new signing Cornet a game. And let's see some proactive substitutions before we go behind. Come on you Irons!