May the fourth be with you...

West Ham 2 Norwich City 0

It's down to the diehards of Fraser, Matt (in a yellow hoodie and looking suspiciously like a Canary) and Nigel, who counsels that Norwich have only scored three away goals all season. Matt adds that Dean Smith has asked his fans to stop cheering imaginary goals. What could possibly go wrong?

Soucek and Noble are missing, possibly with Covid, though it's good to have Cresswell back in the side at last. Early on Lanzini fizzes in a ball and Bowen turns to produce a good save from Krul. 

Then the Hammers go a little flat. The referee misses that Krul has manhandled Vlasic into the net at a corner and then Lanzini slices way over the bar from a short free kick. A short corner seems to have broken the deadlock as Bowen's cross drifts straight into the net. No-one has touched it but sodding VAR disallows it for offside anyway.

BOWEN AT THE DOUBLE

A proper goal does arrive when Cresswell overhits a cross, which finds Coufal on the other flank. Vlad's cross is a good one and Bowen profits from some poor marking to head home.

The second half should be a case of killing the game but the Hammers contrive to miss several chances. Ref Simon Hooper denies another good claim for a Vlasic penalty as the Croatian has his shorts tugged and is then brought down in the box. Antonio does a great turn, but only swivels to shoot over the bar.

It should be two as Lanzini and Fornals combine to release Bowen, who chips over Krul onto the bar. Jarrod then hits the base of the post with another effort. With more luck and better finishing he could have had 20 goals this season. But 1-0 is a dangerous scoreline and a great run from Idah sees Fabianski deflect the striker's shot onto his post. Great work from the underemployed Hammers' custodian.

With fourth spot and going above Arsenal at stake the crowd start to get a little nervous. Mystic Matt declares that the definition of insanity is bringing on Masuaku and Yarmy again and again and is then aghast as Arthur slices a cross hopelessly into the side netting.

But some of us have never doubted King Arthur. Just as Lisa is about to send over details of the latest meditation apps, Lanzini finds Arthur on the left and the maverick left-back crosses for Bowen to tap home from a just-onside position. There's a horrible two-minute pause but finally VAR allows the goal and it's an assist for Masuaku. 

Mystic Matt says that with hindsight he thought he was at a work meeting and his criticism of Arthur followed the correct procedure at all times -— though he will be offering a full apology to the public house later and we should await the result of the inquiry chaired by Michael the Whovian.

There's still time for Yarmolenko to test Krul and choruses of "West Ham are Massive!" and Bubbles to echo around the London Stadium. We go fourth!

After a brief catch-up with Old Shenfieldians Mark and Tim it's off to Ye Olde Black Bull for some Titanic plum porter. Games against sides at the bottom are never easy, but we did another professional job, even if the squad is looking dangerously thin. We're unbeaten all year. And on 37 points we might even be safe... Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 7; Coufal 7, Diop 7, Dawson 6, Cresswell 6; Rice 8, Lanzini 6, Vlasic 6 (Masuaku 7), Fornals 6, Bowen 9; Antonio 6 (Yarmolenko 6).