Who will replace Antonio?

Losing Michail Antonio is a big blow and he could be out for two to four weeks with his usual hamstring problem. It would be a snub not to select Haller, and bringing on Yarmolenko and moving Bowen to a striking role didn't work against Man City. Haller deserves a chance after scoring five times this season, but from what we know from last season he can't play without support. Bowen and possibly Fornals have to get a lot closer to the big man, who also needs to look like he wants to put in a shift. A possible wildcard might be to rest Fornals and bring in Benrahma to run at a makeshift Liverpool defence — though Moyes is more likely to go for the cautious approach. It won't be easy, but without Van Dijk and their home crowd WHU should definitely try to get something at Liverpool. We played well at Anfield last season and came close so let's hope for a repeat performance without the defensive errors.

Sprinting through potato fields

Couple of good pieces on Jarrod Bowen and Tomas Soucek in the press recently. The Times had a revealing interview with Bowen where he revealed that during lockdown he trained sprinting around a muddy potato field on his uncle's farm in Leominister, Herefordshire. Bowen reckoned that if he could accelerate through that the PL pitches would be easy. The Guardian interviewed fellow Moyes signing Tomas Soucek and the Czech revealed that he'd been training with his wife and 18-month old daughter on the pitches at Hackney Marshes during lockdown. We also learned that his mother was a marathon runner, which might be where he gets his energy from. Both Bowen and Soucek have proved to be top signings and clearly they are dedicated to keeping fit whatever it takes. It's good to see players arriving who have real hunger and are not just here for the money.

Another fine point against City

West Ham 1 Manchester City 1

I listen to this one on Radio London, as do Matt and Lisa, while Nigel has found a new lucky pub with CQ at the Cricketers in Kew, Michael is the sole customer in the Black Prince in Kennington and Fraser is among gambling Irons fans at an Irish pub in Ilford. 

West Ham continue to give another disciplined performance against the team that normally beats us 5-0. We're ahead after 18 minutes when Soucek chases a loose ball to feed Coufal who crosses for Michail Antonio to score with a stunning overhead kick. Not quite as good as Andy Carroll's overhead against Palace but still a brilliant goal.

City seem out of sorts and there's even a spell of West Ham pressure late in the half with the Irons having a penalty appeal and the Radio London commentator declaring "and City defending with their lives", which isn't something I ever expected to hear.

Nigel WhatsApps to say that WHU have been the better team for long stretches of the first half, while Michael the Whovian comments: "Line of five, line of four, sole attacker, but lots of wing-back forays... most striking aspect is the team spirit."

City have taken off Aguoro and replaced him with Foden. The City youngster scores a great equaliser seven minutes into the second half, turning instantly to shoot home after Cancelo (is he part of the Cancelo culture?) has outpaced Coufal on the left. When Antonio goes off a minute later feeling his iffy hamstring it looks bleak. Matt wonders if "Yarmolenko on for the injured Antonio" are the most depressing six words in the English language.

Twenty minutes of playing Bowen alone up front doesn't work and eventually Haller is brought on. The Hammers owe their point to a fine display from Fabianski. After Masuaku hangs on too long and loses the ball in midfield Sterling gets through but is foiled by a fine stop from Fab. The keeper then has to black Mahrez at his near post late on. At the lther end Fornals fails to lob Ederson. We'll take a point though. That's eight points from the last four games, when most pundits predicted we'd get none. Irons!

All's well that's Cresswell

Interesting to note that Aaron Cresswell is currently the fourth best defender in the PL according to Fantasy Football's points system. Aaron's certainly getting a lot of points for assists. He crossed for Antonio to head home against Leicester and then it was his clearance that led to Fornals scoring the second. While at Spurs it was Cresswell who crossed for Balbuena to head home to start the Hammers' revival. It was also Cressy's free-kick into the box that resulted in a hurried clearance falling to Lanzini for a goal that is going to go down in WHU folklore.

At the start of the season many of us felt that as Cresswell will be 31 in December he was in need of replacing. But playing in a back five had left him much less exposed as a third centre back, while he's never lost his ability to cross with his left foot. He still has weaknesses, such as when he was outjumped by Kane for the third Spurs' goal, but Cresswell's form is so good that he's now one of the side's biggest assets with his free kicks and crosses.

During the last two matches West Ham gave looked really well-coached and it's not just Cresswell who has improved. It's surely no coincidence that Alan Irvine, Kevin Nolan and Stuart Pearce have all had spells as managers, and they are aided by two more coaches in Paul Nevin and Xavi Valero. David Moyes has surrounded himself with a solid team and the results are showing

Lanzini's rocket seals incredible West Ham comeback

Tottenham Hotspur 3 West Ham United 3

Thanks to tier two we're deprived of the lucky pub and watching on Now TV at home. Though a solo Nigel has managed to sneak into the Jolly Gardeners at Mortlake while Michael is in a pub garden in Kennington. Haller is not even on the bench which means he's either injured or infected or Moyes is just trying to wind-up Fraser even further.

WHU are behind after a mere 45 seconds. Kane's fine long ball sends Son in behind Balbuena, with Coufal caught upfield. The General lets the Spurs man turn inside him and it's 1-0. Antonio's back header causes a few problems at a corner and Cresswell fires a free kick over, but it's 2-0 after seven minutes as Kane nutmegs Rice and fires a shot through Ogbonna's legs and into the corner. Rice and Soucek are outnumbered in midfield and we just can't cope with Kane and Son. 

Can it get any worse? It sure can. Reguilon has too much space on the left and sends in a perfect cross for Kane to outjump Cresswell and head home. Its going to be seven or eight at this rate. At least West Ham improve a bit for the rest of the half, but it's not going to be our day. Kane even manages to block a late Coufal shot with a great block tackle. Though we are winning on corners, having had five corners to Spurs none.

GETTING KANED

It's clearly the fault of Nigel for choosing an unlucky pub and forgetting his lucky Status Quo plastic bag. Mystic Matt says on WhatsApp that "Moyes has been completely outwitted by Mourinho" and Fraser asks if we can send Moyes back to his TV set. West Ham show some character and have a better second half. My pal Robert, a Man United fan, has just turned on the TV and remarks that the second half is all West Ham. Though you can't expect to go 3-0 down after 15 minutes and get anything from a Premier League game. But Masuaku and Antonio are at least still making inroads on the left. The Hammers go close as Antonio's shot bounces into the path of Fornals who heads over the bar from a couple of feet out. At the other end Kane strikes the outside of the post as Spurs' break and almost make it four.

Moyes is clearly trying to keep the score down when he takes off our only striker Antonio and brings on Yarmolenko and Lanzini. But there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in Jose Mourinho's philosophy. The influence of Mystic Matt is at work. He has just said that Lanzini is burnt-out and that West Ham could play until Christmas and not score as Cresswell slings in a free kick and Balbuena powers home a fine header after 82 minutes. It's good to get a consolation and 3-1 at least looks respectable. 

AIN'T NOBODY LIKE LANZINI
But what's this? Two minutes later Yarmolemko finds Coufal with a lovely reverse pass and the full-back's cross is headed into his own net by Sanchez. Who needs strikers? Surely this can't be another crazy PL result? Spurs have brought on Gareth Bale, but he's no Robert Snodgrass. The Welsh golfer jinks through our defence only to fire wide of the post.

Meanwhile Spurs are looking jittery at the back. We're into the 94th minute. Late sub Snodgrass wins a free kick which Cresswell takes. It's headed out and Winks helps it on to the edge of the area for LANZINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! 

Never in doubt! Manuel scores the best goal of career as the ball rockets into the top corner. He's off with his shirt and is then mobbed by his team mates and subs in a giant heap in what might be a super-spreading incident but who cares? What a goal. 

David Moyes channels David Pleat and John Sergeant from Strictly Come Dancing to do a splendid dad dance of joy on the pitch. What tactical brilliance to take off all the strikers. That display of emotion will help him win over the doubters. Even Fraser admits that, "Moyes is almost likeable sometimes". We deserve it for showing such team spirit and never giving up. That Spurs fan who tweeted, "We bring on Bale, they bring on Lanzini" with some laughing emojis has just been made to look rather foolish. Matt says on WhatsApp that sometimes he enjoys football. What a result, this feels like a win. And what a game. Irons!

Hammers get Benrahma — eventually!

Even by West Ham standards it was flying by the seat of our tracksuit bottoms. First there was the Mirror breaking the story that Said Benrahma had failed his medical, then David Moyes telling the press that he hadn't failed his medical but he couldn't discuss it. The thought occurred that if Wilshere and Carroll passed West Ham medicals then the main requirement was probably having two legs, so this was all rather worrying.

At some point Jack Sullivan was presumably dispatched to Romford Market to buy a fax machine, but there was still no deal as the 5pm deadline passed. No-one knew if the deal forms had been sent off and after a long period waiting for Godot it was eventually announced at around 7.30pm that Benrahma had signed on loan for a £5m fee, but with an obligation to buy in the summer for another £20m plus add-ons.

It's a strange deal and presumably the result of something that came up in the medical. If there is any doubt about his fitness you have to hope there is some kind of clause that would erase the obligation to-buy. Though having said that, Benrahma does look a tremendously exciting player who according to one of his old coaches,"could nutmeg a mermaid" — which could be very handy should we ever play a team of mermaids. There's a hint of Payet in some of his flicks and the ride should be fun.

The problem is that Benrahma is a goalscoring winger rather than a striker and the suspicion remains that Josh King was more what Moyes and the team required. Is Benrahma a David Sullivan 'gift' to the manager or does Moyes rate him? Sullivan might have baulked at the £17m asking price for King, but he's now purchased a Championship player in a different position for a possible £30m. Only West Ham could have sold a promising winger for £18m then gone shopping for a £30m centre back and come back with a £30m winger. 

For all the creative chaos some progress has been made in the window. Coufal and Dawson provide more depth at the back and Benrahma could become a cult hero. A bloated squad has been reduced through the departures of Wilshere, Hugill, Ajeti, Roberto, Sanchez and co, although Anderson has been loaned out when perhaps he needed nurturing back to form and the sale of Diangana is a major disappointment. The squad is sill relying on Antonio and Haller keeping fit as there are no back-ups and there's also no cover for Rice and Soucek beyond Mark Noble. But WHU do have three new players and the first team has just had two great wins. So let's see what Moyes can do with this lot and pray Antonio keeps fit.

Dawson signs

Well, it's a comedown after offering £30m for James Tarkowski, but Craig Dawson on a season's loan isn't a bad signing for the squad. He's only 30 and had eight successful seasons at West Brom. Any centre back who gets in a team managed by Tony Pulis has to be solid. He didn't have such a good time at relegated Watford last season, but was playing in a team beset by changing managers and low confidence. And I like the fact that he started out at Radcliffe Borough and Rochdale, so has seen the rougher side of the lower leagues. Plus Dawson has 15 England Under-21 caps, so is certainly good cover for Ogbonna, Diop, Creswell and Balbuena.

Meanwhile the Irons are still interested in Josh King and said to be close to a £25m deal with Brentford for Said Benrahma, though the Guardian reports an ominous hitch with Brentford. Knowing West Ham we might end up with Bananarama instead, which would be Really Saying Something and symptomatic of our Cruel Summer. The other worrying thing is that Benrahma, although a very exciting player, seems to be more of a goalscoring winger than a striker, which begs the question why not have kept the promising Diangana, particularly as WHU now have a centre back signed on loan and Grady was sold specifically to fund defensive purchases. 

Greta goes down the Irons

There's a great new Spitting Image sketch where Greta Thunberg misses a climate change conference to go to West Ham with a male friend. The Irons lose 2-1, despite Greta's advice that, "the goalie should kick the ball to the other end and then Declan Rice bonks it in with his head, that is the right plan." Rather like my pal Matt, she bemoans that the referee has stolen her childhood and the manager has lied to us with his promise of a top ten finish. Encouragingly Greta, who recognises a looming catastrophe when she sees one, then decides to save West Ham, where as we all know there has been a lot of heating arising from unwise emissions.

King for a day

The latest WHU Championship target is said to be Bournemouth's Joshua King and he would be a good signing. At 28 he's not exactly the young player Moyes said he was after, but King's a proven Premier League performer and has scored roughly one goal every three games for Bournemouth (48 goals in 161 games). He's also a Norwegian international and as he has only one year on his contract is relatively cheap. Though the worry is that David Sullivan is haggling over the £17m price and thinks it should be much lower. We need a get a deal over the line quickly as virtually everyone else has gone in the Championship sales. He would be our second King after King Arthur of course.

Meanwhile Anderson has gone to Porto for a season and I hope he can get his confidence back. He had a very poor season last time but showed enough under Pellegrini to prove that he is a player of great ability when he scored nine goals in his first season and made a lot of assists (including Antonio's equaliser against Liverpool). Remember the brace at Southampton and that curler into the top corner against Palace? Talent is too rare to give up on. If Felipe could find consistency he might yet be a success at West Ham.

Rice stays, Wilshere goes as WHU squad left looking thin

Well, at least Chelsea didn't come in with a large bid for Declan Rice before the transfer window closed. It's a big bonus to keep Declan after all those rumours and Vladimir Coufal looks to be a good signing on the evidence of the win at Leicester. While at the start of the window securing Tomas Soucek for £19m looks like good business. 

On the other hand, the board hasn't kept its promise of investing all the £18m Grady Diangana money in new players. Burnley were always unlikely to release James Tarkowski for £30m while Chelsea's Rudiger was never going to want to come, Fofana went to Leicester and Chelsea's Tomori turned down a season's loan just before the deadline.

Releasing the £100k-a-week Jack Wilshere was the right thing to do, even though it has cost a reputed £3.6 million to pay off his contract. You feel sorry for Jack with his injury record, but he just doesn't look mobile anymore and he was never going to get in team ahead of Rice, Soucek and Noble. It was a calamitous signing by Manuel Pellegrini and it wasn't like he hadn't been warned that Wilshere was injury-prone. Wilshere clearly had skill, and was a great young player at Arsenal, but his best hope now is a pay-as-you-play deal.

The other departures leave the WHU squad looking very thin. Josh Cullen has gone to Anderlecht for around £1million. He did a decent job at Charlton and looked a Championship player to me, but even so he might have been a useful squad player had he stayed. 

Reserve striker Silva has gone on loan and it looks like Anderson is going to be loaned to Porto. This summer the club has lost Zabeleta, Ngakia, Sanchez, Hugill, Ajeti, Diangana, Cullen and Wilshere and loaned out Silva and Anderson. There's certainly some dead wood there, but only two replacements have been signed.

If we take the X1 who started at Leicester, the only other squad players left are Diop, Noble, Haller, Fredericks, Yarmolenko, Lanzini, Snodgrass, Johnson and Randolph, making it a 20-man squad.The big worry is the lack of strikers. If Antonio is injured we have only Haller, who can't play on his own.

There is still time to buy players from the Football League and you'd like to think that the Hammers have a few signings lined up — though knowing the lack of an efficient recruitment department that might not be so. Moyes has bought well with Bowen, Soucek and Coufal but we need more bodies before the inevitable injury-crisis hits.

Hammers demolish not so fleet Foxes

Leicester City 0 West Ham 3 (three)

It's off to the new lucky pub, the Leicester Arms, where we saw West Ham score four against Wolves last week. Nigel arrives with his £15 West Ham mask — made in Italy probably at Paolo Di Canio's menswear shop —  and a lucky Status Quo plastic bag, advertising the Quid Pro Quo tour of 2010/11. He's been using it Again and Again. Matt's wearing his lucky Botafogo t-shirt, as you do, while we're also joined by super sub Lisa and Fraser, who is still claiming that Moyes plays without a striker as Antonio is really a winger.

It's a good start from the Hammers. Soucek's Czech mate Coufal looks solid at the back and likes a tackle. Even a reducer from Vardy doesn't worry him. After 14 minutes the first goal is all about Antonio. He's bundled over by Soyuncu, takes a quick free kick out to Cresswell and then sprints to the back of the box to head home Cressy's inviting cross. It looks like we're continuing where we left off against Wolves. 

Despite winning 5-2 at Man City last week, Leicester are having trouble penetrating West Ham's five-man defence. After 34 minutes it's two. Cresswell hoofs the ball upfield and suddenly Fornals is behind the home defence. Pablo shows great control to cushion the ball, switch feet and fire past Schmeichel. Blimey, this really is a lucky pub.

At the break I opt for a Gamma Ray after an early Americano, while it's a lucky bacon burger with chips for Nigel and some lucky £8 cheese toasties for Matt and Lisa. Though we do have to caution Nigel after he starts talking about our positive goal difference. 

Ogbonna has a great game at the back as Leicester exert some early pressure. But West Ham have chances to make it three. A fine block from Evans foils the lurking Antonio, Bowen passes when he should shoot and then Declan Rice runs from his own half to smack a shot against the bar.

THREE-NIL TO THE COCKNEY BOYS

It's a great counter-attacking performance from the Irons and it's rounded off with a superb third. Skipper Rice calmly plays the ball out of defence to Fornals. Pablo shows patience before dissecting the Leicester defence to play in Bowen who calmly flicks over Schmeichel. It's a fine finish and a good moment for Fornals who has scored and assisted for the first time since he arrived at West Ham. 

There's a late flurry from Leicester as Vardy lobs wide when he should score. Then Barnes has the ball in the net after a series of intricate passes but VAR rules Jamie 'Albert Steptoe' Vardy offside. When VAR goes West Ham's way you know it really is our day. Stuart Pearce phones David Moyes to tell him to turn off All Creatures Great and Small because we've won 3-0.

As Quo fan Nigel might out it, we're no longer going Down Down but Rockin' All Over The World. Seven goals and two clean sheets in our last two league games. Pretty much a perfect away performance. So much for those who said we'd have no points after the first seven games. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Coufal 7, Balbuena 7, Ogbonna 8, Creswell 8, Masuaku 7; Bowen 8 (Noble n/a), Rice 8, Soucek 8, Fornals 8; Antonio 8 (Haller n/a).

Hammers sign someone!

Here's something to knock Trump off the front pages — West Ham have actually signed a player. Right back Vladimir Coufal has signed from Slavia Prague for £5.4 million. That seems a decent price for a player who is a Czech international and has played in the Champions League. Coufal is a former teammate of Tomas Soucek and if he's anything like Tomas the 28-year-old could be a good addition — and will perhaps prove the long-term replacement for Ryan Fredericks.

Should the club sign a centre back as well then the transfer window might not prove the disaster it threatened to be. Though let's remember that Aston Villa, a club of comparable size, have had a great window signing Ollie Watkins, Matty Cash, Emiliano Martinez, Bertrand Traore and Ross Barkley on loan. There's still much work to be done. 

Concentrating on the league

Everton 4 West Ham 1 (Carabao Cup)

Cup Final Breakfast at Nigel's gaff has been postponed — again. This was always going to be a difficult tie with only Rice, Balbuena and Cresswell retained from Sunday's side. 

Everton's opener was disappointing as it came from a simple ball over the top with Rice allowing Calvert-Lewin to get the wrong side of him. West Ham's first half efforts amounted to a long shot from Anderson and a Lanzini backheader that flicked wide.

The Hammers made a great start to the second half with Anderson playing the ball back to Snodgrass who sent a great shot into the far corner. After that Everton hit the post and then Richarlison scored with the aid of a rather lucky deflection off Rice's back. At 2-1 down Haller was unfortunate not to equalise with a skilful overhead kick from Yarmolenko's cross. 

It then got much worse as Iwobi hit the post and Calvert-Lewin reacted quicker than our defence to tap home. Then the Everton striker scored his hat-trick after a fine through ball from James and more poor defending.

Got to hope that Leicester will be a different game, with Fabianski, Masuaku, Ogbonna, Soucek, Bowen and Antonio all set to return. At least there seems to have been some progress on the transfer front with Czech right-back Vladimir Coufal having a medical and a £13m offer in for Club Brugges' Hans Vanaken. 

Going out of the League Cup is a blow, but the competition has been devalued by playing so many games so quickly, making it effectively a tournament for squad players. Just a shame Everton didn't rest Calvert-Lewin.