Lanzini's rocket seals incredible West Ham comeback

Tottenham Hotspur 3 West Ham United 3

Thanks to tier two we're deprived of the lucky pub and watching on Now TV at home. Though a solo Nigel has managed to sneak into the Jolly Gardeners at Mortlake while Michael is in a pub garden in Kennington. Haller is not even on the bench which means he's either injured or infected or Moyes is just trying to wind-up Fraser even further.

WHU are behind after a mere 45 seconds. Kane's fine long ball sends Son in behind Balbuena, with Coufal caught upfield. The General lets the Spurs man turn inside him and it's 1-0. Antonio's back header causes a few problems at a corner and Cresswell fires a free kick over, but it's 2-0 after seven minutes as Kane nutmegs Rice and fires a shot through Ogbonna's legs and into the corner. Rice and Soucek are outnumbered in midfield and we just can't cope with Kane and Son. 

Can it get any worse? It sure can. Reguilon has too much space on the left and sends in a perfect cross for Kane to outjump Cresswell and head home. Its going to be seven or eight at this rate. At least West Ham improve a bit for the rest of the half, but it's not going to be our day. Kane even manages to block a late Coufal shot with a great block tackle. Though we are winning on corners, having had five corners to Spurs none.

GETTING KANED

It's clearly the fault of Nigel for choosing an unlucky pub and forgetting his lucky Status Quo plastic bag. Mystic Matt says on WhatsApp that "Moyes has been completely outwitted by Mourinho" and Fraser asks if we can send Moyes back to his TV set. West Ham show some character and have a better second half. My pal Robert, a Man United fan, has just turned on the TV and remarks that the second half is all West Ham. Though you can't expect to go 3-0 down after 15 minutes and get anything from a Premier League game. But Masuaku and Antonio are at least still making inroads on the left. The Hammers go close as Antonio's shot bounces into the path of Fornals who heads over the bar from a couple of feet out. At the other end Kane strikes the outside of the post as Spurs' break and almost make it four.

Moyes is clearly trying to keep the score down when he takes off our only striker Antonio and brings on Yarmolenko and Lanzini. But there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in Jose Mourinho's philosophy. The influence of Mystic Matt is at work. He has just said that Lanzini is burnt-out and that West Ham could play until Christmas and not score as Cresswell slings in a free kick and Balbuena powers home a fine header after 82 minutes. It's good to get a consolation and 3-1 at least looks respectable. 

AIN'T NOBODY LIKE LANZINI
But what's this? Two minutes later Yarmolemko finds Coufal with a lovely reverse pass and the full-back's cross is headed into his own net by Sanchez. Who needs strikers? Surely this can't be another crazy PL result? Spurs have brought on Gareth Bale, but he's no Robert Snodgrass. The Welsh golfer jinks through our defence only to fire wide of the post.

Meanwhile Spurs are looking jittery at the back. We're into the 94th minute. Late sub Snodgrass wins a free kick which Cresswell takes. It's headed out and Winks helps it on to the edge of the area for LANZINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! 

Never in doubt! Manuel scores the best goal of career as the ball rockets into the top corner. He's off with his shirt and is then mobbed by his team mates and subs in a giant heap in what might be a super-spreading incident but who cares? What a goal. 

David Moyes channels David Pleat and John Sergeant from Strictly Come Dancing to do a splendid dad dance of joy on the pitch. What tactical brilliance to take off all the strikers. That display of emotion will help him win over the doubters. Even Fraser admits that, "Moyes is almost likeable sometimes". We deserve it for showing such team spirit and never giving up. That Spurs fan who tweeted, "We bring on Bale, they bring on Lanzini" with some laughing emojis has just been made to look rather foolish. Matt says on WhatsApp that sometimes he enjoys football. What a result, this feels like a win. And what a game. Irons!