Back to the future with David Moyes

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. As predicted it's David Moyes. Firstly, let's be clear, the main problem is not the managers but owners who make populist (and sometimes unpopulist) decisions and have no long term strategy for West Ham. They veer from ultra-pragmatists such as Allardyce to managers who don't believe in defence like Pellegrini. The owners react to situations rather than pre-empt them. Sullivan, Gold and Brady also wildly over-promised on how good the London Stadium would be.

As for Moyes, I would have much preferred Eddie Howe as the manager to build a side, though it must be remembered that we are deep in the mire and are never going to attract an A-list gaffer like Ancelotti or Pochettino. 

Personally, I thought Moyes did reasonably well in his last spell at the club. He saved the club from relegation and more importantly instilled some discipline and work ethic into the players. He certainly made a difference to Arnautovic's game. One advantage is that he will already know half of the West Ham squad.

Yes, Moyes was defensive, but arguably had little choice with a side leaking so many goals. Playing five at the back again might free up Fredericks and Cresswell or Masuaku as wing backs and get some more crosses in to Haller. He'll also surely realise that you can't play Lanzini, Anderson and Fornals in the same side. You would also hope that Moyes and Pearce (if he comes too) give Haller some Arnautovic-style tough love and tell him to put himself about a bit. 

If Moyes is still the same manager who had Everton in the top eight every season we might show some signs of progress over his 18-month contract. Though if he is, as some maintain, an outdated dinosaur who failed at Man United, Real Sociedad and Sunderland then it might prove terminally unwise to have returned to our ex.

There is a lot of noise on social media, but knowing football fans, there would have been outrage whoever West Ham appointed. Let's remember we all welcomed Pellegrini when he arrived and that didn't work out too well. 

Short term, Moyes has to up the work rate of the squad, which is too talented to be in its current position. West Ham fans will forgive most things if they see the players trying on the pitch and a few tackles flying in. He then has to play the transfer window effectively and get some pace and midfield strength in the side. The return of Moyes is either brave or stupid, depending on your viewpoint, but if it doesn't work out then we will be playing in the Championshiop next season.

Sacked in the evening...

West Ham 1 Leicester City 2

So the Manuel Pellegrini era has ended. Just as our group of dispirited Hammers were discussing likely new managers in the Refreshment Rooms — covering Benitez, Moyes, Hughton, Eddie Howe, Trevor Brooking, Ludek Miklosko and Christian Dailly —  the breaking news emerged on the TV screen. The pub erupted in cheers and a chorus of Bubbles, so it's clear most West Ham fans have had enough.

Pellegrini has seemed so rigid in his thinking in recent months and has never really grasped that WHU are sleepwalking towards relegation. He has twice broken West Ham's transfer record on Anderson and Haller and neither have delivered this season, while the obvious need for defensive signings and a new box-to-box midfielder has been ignored. 

It was the performance after going 2-1 behind tonight that really did for him. Taking off Haller and playing Antonio alone up front was pretty much a managerial resignation note. There was no pounding of the opposition goal to get an equaliser and the fact the team aren't playing for him became sadly obvious.

The only positives were that Fabianski returned in goal and saved the penalty he gave away, and that Fornals swept home a nice equaliser with an assist from Anderson. The winner saw the midfield disappear and Sanchez fail to track Gray's run. This was against basically a Leicester League Cup side — they rested Vardy, Maddison, Chilwell, Soyoncu, Pereira and Tielemans and still beat West Ham comfortably. 

The best line of the night did go to Michael the Whovian, fresh from another pantomime at the Theatre Royal Stratford East, when we brought on Ajeti (pronounced A Yeti), who quipped that with Antonio we now had two abominable snowmen up front. Nigel announced that he is definitely not renewing his season ticket in the Championship, despite mysteriously carrying last season's Leicester programme with a picture of Moyes on the cover. The Vicar's Son was exasperated by Masuaku's performance and Ajeti's two fluffs in front of goal and Fraser opted for anyone but Moyes (unless it's Big Sam or Pulis). Most of the crowd just seemed apathetic, conditioned to West Ham failure.

The only thing that went well was the pre-match tributes to Martin Peters from Geoff Hurst and Brian Dear. A sad end to a terrible run after a fourth successive home defeat and two wins in 14 matches. Pellegrini seemed a decent man, but he hasn't justified his £7m salary and really had to go on this season's form. The board have to get the next appointment right or it will be Championship football at the London Stadium.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Fredericks 5, Diop 4, Balbuena 5, Masuaku 5; Rice 5, Sanchez 4 (Snodgrass 5); Anderson 5, Fornals 6, Lanzini 4 (Ajeti 3); Haller 4 (Antonio 5).

Another car crash at Crystal Palace

Crystal Palace 2 West Ham 1

Oh well, just another Christmas at West Ham. Boxing Day arrives with news that Michail Antonio has crashed his Lamborghini into a bin shed while dressed as a snowman on Christmas Day, as you do. Seems like he drives like he plays, lots of acceleration but sometimes let down by a lack of control. 

Antonio makes the line-up at Palace though minus his snowman costume and Zabaleta replaces the suspended Fredericks. Roberto also returns with Fabianski and Martin both still not fit. To be fair to the maligned Hammers' keeper, he makes a couple of decent stops from Ayew and Wickham and isn't at fault for the goals.

Ayew goes close for Palace but a goalless first half offers hope. Even more so when against the run of play the Irons take the lead. Antonio makes a powerful run inside and finds Snodgrass with a great through ball, which the Scotsman finishes really well. Maybe Michail should crash his car before every game.

But as so often this season the Hammers panic after taking the lead. As the side sit back Ayew's header is volleyed home by none other than Cheikhou Kouyate. To give him credit he doesn't celebrate and you do wonder why he was sold without a better replacement being signed than Wilshere or Sanchez. 

Snodgrass has a goalbound effort blocked, but it's almost inevitable that West Ham concede a 90th minute winner. It's a great solo run from Ayew, though he skips past Rice, Ogbonna and Balbuena with far too much ease. Roberto can't be faulted for the chip over him, which is a classy finish. With the Hammers needing a late equaliser it's strange that Pellegrini has subbed Haller, though at least Lanzini gets some minutes.

But it's a depressing result and the Hammers slump to fourth from bottom again with Pellegrini still in danger of a Christmas sacking. Leicester tomorrow and Bournemouth on New Year's Day will surely hold the key to his future.

Noble return for Gavin and Stacey

Good to see the Christmas Day special of Gavin and Stacey featuring Baby Neil in a Mark Noble Number 16 shirt, given to him as a present by James Corden's Smithy. Will Smithy marry Nessa and take her to the London Stadium? Surely he will, though Nessa might find that not much is occurring in the opposition goalmouth. And could we have Uncle Bryn in charge of stadium catering please? Tidy.

Martin Peters RIP

Very sad to hear of the death of World Cup Winner Martin Peters. I never saw him play for West Ham, arriving on the North Bank just as WHU received top drinker Jimmy Greaves in part-exchange for Martin (Spurs got the best of the deal). But you could see just what a fine player Peters was in the 1970s away from Upton Park, winning the League Cup twice and the Uefa Cup with Spurs and then late on, still ghosting in behind defences with Norwich City. He'll always be remembered for scoring in the World Cup Final and his part in West Ham's Cup Winners' Cup win of 1965, but one game I wish I'd seen was the fantastic full volley he scored for West Ham at Upton Park (can't remember who it was against) and Brian Moore hollering "Oh magnificent!" He'll be missed.

Philosophy Football is 25

Philosophy Football, the quirky t-shirt emporium created by Mark Perryman and Hugh Tisdale, is celebrating its 25^th anniversary this Christmas. It all began with an Albert Camus green goalkeeper’s shirt, with the French philosopher’s name on the back and on the front the quote, “All that I know most surely about morality and obligations I owe to football.” 

Since then they have sold tens of thousands of t-shirts with names as diverse as Harold Wilson, Oscar Wilde, Gramsci, Simone de Beauvoir, Jurgen Klopp, Billy Bragg, Nietzsche and Wittgenstein. Their latest t-shirt is Greta Thunberg, whoever she plays for. Plus there's a rather tasty Moore, Hurst and Peters claret and blue shirt. Click on the link to see the full catalogue.

Haller looked a different player with a strike partner

During the post-match interview at Southampton Sebastien Haller stood next to Michail Antonio and towered above him. Antonio is not a small player and it made the viewer realise just what a physical force Haller could be, compared to the lost lone sulking striker of recent weeks. He looked like a different player against Southampton, buoyed by a goal and a fresh strike partner in Antonio. He was unlucky not to get a second with a towering header.

It's still mystifying why it has taken Pellegrini so long to realise that Haller needs a strike partner. Last season at Eintracht Frankfurt Seb formed a lethal partnership with Luka Jovic, where they scored 32 goals between them. Haller scored 15 league goals and made nine assists last season. Haller can't do what Arnautovic could, create chances for himself. But when others create for him he can certainly finish, having scored five even in a disappointing half-season.

Yet Manuel has been determined to play as many midfielders as possible, sometimes squeezing Anderson, Fornals and Lanzini into the same side. There's a risk a four-man midfield will be stretched, but Antonio is such a dynamic player that he can reinforce the midfield when necessary. From now on Antonio and Haller have to be paired together.

Haller comes good to see off Saints

Southampton 0 West Ham 1

First off it's a vertigo-inducing tour up the Caledonian Market Clock Tower. As Matt and Lisa later suggest, not being able to cope with great heights and a fear of sheer drops could be why I'm a West Ham supporter. Then it's a dash to our new lucky pub, Mabel's Tavern at Euston, to watch the game.

It's a scruffy match but the Hammers make a lively start. Rice has a goal correctly disallowed for offside in the second minute and then good work by Antonio sees Fornals have a shot deflected wide. Anderson's illness has forced Pellegrini to finally change his formation to 4-4-2 and Haller looks a lot better with Antonio as a strike partner. Who knew? 

The Hammers take the lead after 37 minutes when Antonio chases another seemingly lost ball and does well to find Snodgrass. His cross is nodded back by Fornals into the path of Sebastian Haller who volleys home into the corner. He's slightly scuffed it but who cares? Seb finally remembers to smile and runs to celebrate on the touchline.

In the second half there's more West Ham pressure as Haller finds Fornals whose shot is tipped over by McCarthy. Antonio looks to have scored a second after a strong run past two defenders and a thumping shot only for VAR to disallow it for an inadvertent handball. 

WE'RE WINNING AWAY!
Haller has a fine header tipped past the post by McCarthy, but is then strangely substituted by Pellegrini, who goes defensive by bringing on Sanchez. He also brings on Yarmolenko and the substitutions make the side worse, greatly testing the patience of the Vicar's Son. The Saints rally during the final 20 minutes. Ings is unlucky to hit the bar with Long missing the rebound. Ings also hits the post before the offside flag goes up and then the Saints have a goal disallowed for a not very obvious foul on Yarmolenko, much to the consternation of the Saints fan in front of us.  

In added time there's a nerve-shattering moment as Martin injures himself taking a goal kick, in just the same fashion as Fabianski. Could West Ham be the only team in the world to have two 'keepers injured taking goal kicks? Martin plays on for the final minute and luckily doesn't have to make a save.

The Hammers hold on and as Antonio says several times post-match it's "massive", and probably enough to keep Pellegrini in employment. The problems haven't gone away, but Haller looked a much better player with a partner, the improving Fornals got his third assist in a row and Antonio had a storming game. More worrying is the fact that several of our better players — Antonio, Cresswell, Ogbonna, Noble — are still from the Allardyce and Bilic eras. 

But we ground out three points against a poor Southampton team and that's the important thing. With a two-week breathing space WHU can now prepare for the vital Christmas games against Palace and Leicester. Irons!

"An old, slow team..."

Another good piece on West Ham's plight from Jacob Steinberg in today's Guardian. He lists a pretty accurate summary of what's gone wrong, including Fabianksi covering up for a poor defence, a lack of expenditure on full-backs and defensive midfielders, the signing of Jack Wilshere on £100,000 a week, Mark Noble being bypassed, the poor signings of Mario Husillos and the fact that West Ham are, "an old, slow team and rarely press as a collective unit". Apart from that we're fine... Click on the link to read the whole piece. 

Did Maresca mastermind Chelsea win?

There's an intriguing piece in the Guardian claiming that West Ham's tactics at Chelsea were actually devised by second assistant coach Enzo Maresca, the former Juventus and Sevilla midfielder. The writer, Daniel Steinberg, normally gets his West Ham facts right – though has the story been leaked simply to discredit Manuel Pellegrini? 

Maresca's gameplan was apparently to push Chelsea out wide, though it's also unclear why Pellegrini would have taken a step back from the tactics at Chelsea. There was certainly something different about the performance at Stamford Bridge and Pellegrini does seem absolutely rigid in his 4-2-3-1 formation. 

Steinberg also reports that the players are impressed with Maresca and that some 'senior players' are starting to lose faith in Pellegrini. Southampton is now a game the manager can't afford to lose — and if he does go then Eddie Howe, who has performed a miracle at Bournemouth, would be my preferred option.

Fragile Hammers shattered by nine-minute blitz

West Ham 1 Arsenal 3

Up against a side that hasn't won in nine matches. What could possibly go wrong? The best part of the pre-match build-up is seeing Michael the Whovian on the big screens playing for the Pride of Irons. He's not actually at the game with us, presumably because he has been added to Pellegrini's struggling squad. Meanwhile a tardy Nigel asks me to buy a programme as he doesn't want to miss a cover picture of Albian Ajeti. And at Felixstowe last week he was aghast to discover the Seasiders programme was only available online, meaning he wasn't really there. We're joined by Matt and Lisa, Fraser, Roz and Joe for a meeting of London's crisis clubs.

It's all OK for 60 minutes. Arsenal keep passing to us as they try to play out of defence and lose both full backs, Bellerin in the warm-up and later Tierney to injury. The Hammers dominate the first half, with Cresswell having a fine game and the side seemingly up for it. Antonio goes close with a strong run and shot against Leno's legs. West Ham take the lead as the improved Fornals chips in a high ball following a corner and Ogbonna heads home via a deflection off Maitland-Niles. A good side should kill off a struggling Arsenal at this stage but as ever the Hammers struggle to score a second. 

At the start of the second half Snodgrass is presented the ball and has a shot deflected wide. A push in the box is ignored by Mike Dean and then a neat move ends with Rice shooting straight into Leno.

ARSENAL PEPE IT UP
But it only takes a second to score a goal. West Ham have been hampered by Cresswell injuring himself while getting booked for a foul, and having to be replaced by Masuaku. Matt's attempts to be positive about Arthur last all of ten minutes. Fredericks fails to cut out a cross from Kolasinac and Snodgrass hasn't followed Martinelli's run from deep. The Arsenal striker sweeps home on his first full league appearance. At 1-1 West Ham should try to keep it solid but things fall apart quicker than in a W B Yeats poem.

Six minutes later Pepe cuts inside Masuaku to send a screamer into the top corner. That's Pepe's first goal from open play for Arsenal. Three minutes after that Pepe is given too much space by Masuaku again and chips over the defence for an unmarked Aubameyang to volley home. Martin gets a hand to the ball and it's not a mistake, but perhaps Fabianski might have produced something brilliant to deny the Arsenal man. 

"How shit must you be we're winning away?" chant the Gunners' fans. What's most worrying after that is the way heads drop. There is no battering of the Arsenal defence to try to pull it back to 2-3. Antonio is kept on for the whole 90 minutes despite having already once gone to the bench for treatment and sub Haller again struggles with no service, while it seems unfair to thrust on young Nathan Holland at 3-1 down.

JUST RELEGATION FOR THE CLARET AND BLUE?
The stadium is largely empty by the end and those empty seats will worry Sullivan and Gold. "Where are we going now?" asks Lisa as we leave. "The Championship," comes the reply. We retreat to the Refreshment Rooms. It's half-empty, the West Ham fans are so dispirited they have stopped drinking. The table nearly collapses as Nigel takes his place, in a fine metaphor for the evening. There is a Pinter-esque silence as we take in the evening's events, accompanied by the Teletubbies performing 'Eh-oh' on the TV screen. They look more mobile than our defence. Matt muses about how much we miss Arnautovic who could make things happen on his own.

Meanwhile Pellegrini is alarmingly complacent in his post match comments, claiming that he is not worried about relegation. Well he should be. We currently have the look of a classic relegation side. One win in 11 games. Five defeats in the last six. Unable to get a run going after a rare away win. Poor summer signings. A striker who can't score, creative midfielders bereft of all confidence, no competition for the central midfield positions, full backs who struggle to defend and an injured goalkeeper. Another loss at Southampton will surely see the board take action.

PLAYER RATINGS: Martin 5; Fredericks 5, Balbuena 5, Ogbonna 6, Cresswell 7 (Masuaku 4); Snodgrass 5 (Holland 5), Rice 5, Noble 5, Fornals 6, Anderson 5 (Haller 4); Antonio 5.

Clyde Best signing at the Newham Bookshop

West Ham Seventies legend Clyde Best will be doing a signing of his autobiography The Acid Test at the Newham Bookshop tomorrow December 10 at 12 noon. Check with the bookshop for further details.

Normal service resumed....

Wolves 2 West Ham 0

It's off to the Greenwood sports bar at Victoria for this one — at least this heaving venue has a good name. Watching multi games of football in the upstairs bar is pretty similar to the sort of aural torture Alex suffered to cure his anti-social behaviour in A Clockwork Orange. 

We find the one tele showing Wolves v West Ham but are surrounded by Scousers cheering six first-half goals in the Merseyside derby, plus MUFC and Spurs fans watching their game and the odd Chelsea fan watching another TV with the Chelsea v Villa game. Matt, Lisa, Fraser, Michael and myself have one, two, three, four, five senses working overtime thanks to the brave new world of Amazon Prime. 

On the pitch normal service is resumed. Traore causes problems with his speed all game. West Ham concede a very poor goal straight from a corner when Dendoncker gets ahead of Ferdericks to prod home. Whatever happened to having men on the posts at corners? At least West Ham have a couple of chances, a fairly tame Ogbonna header from a corner and a fine curling effort from Fornals that is tipped over.

Haller is mystifyingly anonymous and West Ham miss Antonio's running up front. Wolves should score more after the break but Martin makes a couple of decent saves and the Irons are still in it. Fornals plays a brilliant crossfield ball into the path of Snodgrass, who takes a poor second touch and injures himself in the process of allowing Rui Patricio to gather the ball. That was the chance.

Holland makes his league debut as a sub (though the out-on-loan Diangana is surely needed if we're relying on Nathan) and Yarmolenko comes on to persistently lose the ball and incense the Vicar's Son. It's all over after more poor defending as Wolves catch us on the break and Cutrone prods home past a static Martin. "His fairtytale is over," muses Matt, as Michael suggests all West Ham fairytales are Grimm.

We retreat to the Duke of York (they might have to change the name) for a pint of Sam Smith's away from the digital cacophony. Yes Wolves looked a good side, but then so should we having spent big on Haller, Yarmolenko, Anderson and Fornals. Perhaps the Chelsea result was an aberration. We're still in deep trouble and need to beat Arsenal on Monday.

Hammers need to keep momentum going at Wolves

It would be very like West Ham to win at Chelsea and then lose at Wolves (as an example remember under Avram Grant beating Man United 4-0 in the League Cup and then losing at Sunderland). Pellegrini has to keep the Irons focused and the players need to show the workrate that we saw at Stamford Bridge. 

Manuel Pellegrini deserves credit for getting his team selection right at Chelsea (though Roberto should surely have gone after the Newcastle game), while it's interesting to note that Declan Rice revealed in the Evening Standard that Mark Noble gave an inspiring team talk peppered with some rude words before the Chelsea game. The win doesn't negate the problems of some strange summer buys and a horrible lack of desire in recent games, but it might presage an upturn.

One thing you can't buy in the modern game is desire. There aren't many players who want to play for West Ham so much that they are moved to tears when they finally do so. David Martin might only be a journeyman goalkeeper but he has shown the other players what playing for the Irons should mean. If that doesn't fire them up for the game at Wolves then nothing will. If the club can get both a win at Chelsea and a result at Molineux then the season starts to look much better.

Stick your blue flag… David Martin inspires heroic West Ham win

Chelsea 0 West Ham 1 (one)

It's off to Stamford Bridge with Fraser for this one. We're disguised as Chelsea fans in the East Stand thanks to the generosity of my Chelsea-supporting pal, who has been invited by some idiot to a wedding in the football season. We figure we won't have too many temptations to give ourselves away by cheering. Fraser points out that we haven't won at Stamford Bridge for 17 years.

Pellegrini has made a big call by dropping Haller and an obvious call by replacing Roberto with David Martin. Mystic Matt WhatsApps from Malaga, where he is sunning himself with Lisa, to suggest that Antonio shouldn't be playing up front alone: "The team selection is what Sir Humphrey Appleby would call brave. I predict Pete and Fraser will not give themselves away through celebrations this afternoon."

For the first 20 minutes or so Mount and Pulisic get through our midfield and cause some problems as Pulisic lifts the ball over from a good chance. But David Martin makes some solid catches and inspires confidence simply through not being Roberto. "There's only one David Martin!" chant the West Ham fans, inspiring Fraser to suggest this is the first time Hammers fans have ever invented a chant for a former Millwall player. 

But the Hammers grow into the game. Antonio and Snodgrass are working really hard, Anderson looks better playing just behind Antonio and Rice and Noble are forming an effective barrier in midfield. When Martin does spill a shot he makes a fine double block from the rebound. Reece James is causing problems with some great crosses from the right, one deflected effort hitting the outside of the post.

But the Hammers are starting to come forward too. Snodgrass whips in a lovely cross and Antonio's header is well-saved by Kepa. Giroud looks rusty and Chelsea start to run out of ideas as the aways fans taunt Big Fat Frankie Lampard and the home end sing, "He's won more than you!" and "He left 'cos you're shit!"

ALL'S WELL THAT'S CRESSWELL
At half-time we're dreaming of nicking a 0-0. But something happens in the second half as West Ham start to believe. We're doing everything we haven't done in recent weeks, showing workrate and desire. On 48 minutes Snodgrass chases down a ball on the right and finds Anderson, who plays a crossfield ball to Fornals. The Spaniard slips it through to Cresswell, who has run the length of the pitch. Aaron twists inside James and steers into the corner, running to the delirious West Ham fans. Yes! We do a good job of restraining ourselves. And it's good for Fornals to finally have an assist.

It's now all West Ham as Rice dominates midfield, Antonio fluffs a close-range chance and Ogbonna has a header from a corner parried by Kepa. West Ham seem to score a second as Antonio heads in Snodgrass's cross, only for VAR to rule it out for handball. 

Lampard makes changes, bringing on Willian and Kante. Willian causes problems on the right with his crosses but Ogbonna has an immense game, heading everything away. While the recalled Balbuena is making great interceptions. I'm convinced we'll let in an equaliser as Anderson is replaced by Yarmolenko. But Pulisic puts another chance wide and every West Ham player is committed to holding our lead. 

ONE DAVID MARTIN
"Stick your blue flag up your arse!" emanates from the away fans in the corner. Masuaku gives away a silly free kick on the edge of the box late on and I fear the worst. But Chelsea mess it up. Surely we can't do this? We can! The final whistle blows and David Martin collapses on the ground. I've seen a lot in football but I've never seen a goalkeeper collapse in tears before or be mobbed by his teammates as Martin is. From MK Dons to a Premier League debut at 33 and a clean sheet at Stamford Bridge. There's a lovely moment shown on Match of the Day as Martin rushes over to the stand to hug his dad Alvin.

We never doubted you for a moment, Captain Pellegrini. Mystic Matt WhatsApps from the Museo Carmen Thyssen to say that "maybe Pellegrini knows more about football than me", while Nigel, who is at Felixtowe and Walton FC, says he told us that talk of relegation was over-pessimistic. Even Michael the Whovian breaks off from preparing to govern to comment that,"Sir Humphrey's role as a football pundit is in serious jeopardy."

Having taken the East Stand Fraser and myself retreat to Earls Court and the District line to Green Park. Here we have a couple of pints in the Blue Posts, where Fraser once met Jack Nicholson, as you do. What a day. Always nice to win at a smaller club struggling on 40,000 gates. West Ham can still win when you least expect it and we've finally found some team spirit. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Martin 8; Fredericks 7, Balbuena 7, Ogbonna 8, Cresswell 8; Anderson 7 (Yarmolenko 6), Rice 9, Noble 7, Fornals 7 (Masuaku n/a), Snodgrass 8; Antonio 7 (Haller 6).