Saturday, May 16

West Ham stars caught in Brewery

“This is proof that the West Ham directors can organise a piss-up in a Brewery!” quipped host Phil Jupitus (pictured with some well dodgy members of a mystery consortium trying to buy the club and install Carol from Ken's Cafe as the stadium catering manager) at the first West Ham End of Season Gale Evening held at the Brewery in Barbican. The night features old and current players mixing with fans who’d paid £250 to charity for their tickets.

Mr Jupitus’ first question to Gianfranco Zola was “Have you ever eaten the full English breakfast in Ken’s Café?” Strangely, his answer was no. Zola was adept at stand-up banter on stage and said he might leave Ken's “not having eaten anything,” before being embraced by Phill.

Ray Winstone upped the geezer quotient on a table including John Motson, Matt Lorenzo, Jeremy Nicholas and Scott Duxbury. Former stars present included Alvin Martin who’s got even less hair but we don’t care, Kenny Brown, the legendary Steve Potts, Paul Brush, Brian Dear, Malcolm Musgrove and, erm, Ray Parlour.

Tony Carr got a sort of lifetime achievement tribute and said we should be nicer to big Fat Frank as his success reflected well upon the club. Matthew Upson and James Collins were discussing golf in the gents and Freddie Sears still looked about seven at close quarters. Walter Lopez, sitting on a table of expats, appeared a little bemused by the cockney banter, but young Kevin Keen joined in a knees-up to the very enjoyable Rat Pack band. And yes, Frank Sinatra crooned Bubbles.

The only thing that was missing from the evening was an appearance by Hayden Foxe…

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