We've signed Manuel Almunia on an emergency loan deal as Robert Green is out for six weeks with a knee cartilage operation. Not sure how Green injured himself, but it' a huge blow as he's been inspirational this season.
But Almunia is a decent keeper and though maybe not the top drawer keeper Arsenal needed to challenge for the title, he'll do for us. We've done well to get such an experienced keeper so quickly - nice work from Big Sam.
Friday, September 30
Carlos whisper
Today's Sun claims that West Ham have approached Manchester City about bringing back Carlos Tevez on loan. Sounds like paper talk to me. Can't see Tevez's ego would tolerate playing in the Championship and I don't think it's East London that he claims to be homesick for.
What he did at Bayern Munich was despicable, but you have to say that on the pitch he's never less than committed. And presumably if it did happen we wouldn't put him on the bench this time, as Pards and Curbs did.
Wonder if Swindon might be in the market for a loan deal too. I'd pay a lot of money to watch Tevez managed by Di Canio and the explosions that might ensue should he refuse to warm-up.
What he did at Bayern Munich was despicable, but you have to say that on the pitch he's never less than committed. And presumably if it did happen we wouldn't put him on the bench this time, as Pards and Curbs did.
Wonder if Swindon might be in the market for a loan deal too. I'd pay a lot of money to watch Tevez managed by Di Canio and the explosions that might ensue should he refuse to warm-up.
Thursday, September 29
Nice one, Boris
Boris Johnson has intervened to give Spurs a "take it ir leave it" ultimatum over £17 million of cash from City Hall and Haringey council towards a new stadium at Northumberland Park.
He's also very clear that Spurs should drop their pursuit of the Olympic Stadium and states that: "Tottenham Hotspur has long been an integral part of its community" and that by "staying true to its roots" it can help regenerate the area. "Last month's riots were a telling reminder of just how important it is for Spurs to press ahead with the development," adds Boris.
In other words: "Oi! Levy! No!!"
He's also very clear that Spurs should drop their pursuit of the Olympic Stadium and states that: "Tottenham Hotspur has long been an integral part of its community" and that by "staying true to its roots" it can help regenerate the area. "Last month's riots were a telling reminder of just how important it is for Spurs to press ahead with the development," adds Boris.
In other words: "Oi! Levy! No!!"
We need to talk about Kevin
Kevin Nolan admits he's going through a spell of poor form in yesterday's Standard and hints at homesickness. He says: "I'm not happy with my own form, but it's been quite difficult. I've moved to a city where I never thought I'd live and I have my family."
Maybe the lads should introduce him to the TOWIE-style delights of Sheesh and the King William IV in in Chigwell to help our Scouser captain settle in down south. He scored 16 goals for Newcastle when they went up so it's vital we get him contributing again. He's never going to be another Scott Parker, but he endured a difficult early spell at Newcastle before coming good.
Our midfield still lacks a creator. Could it be time to drop Noble and bring in Collison? Or maybe even return Gustave Faubert to the wing where he had a fine game against Forest and almost made the winner - had Bentley not missed - against Millwall. And then there's Diop and Demel to consider... If we're going to play five across the middle it's vital we get the balance right,
Maybe the lads should introduce him to the TOWIE-style delights of Sheesh and the King William IV in in Chigwell to help our Scouser captain settle in down south. He scored 16 goals for Newcastle when they went up so it's vital we get him contributing again. He's never going to be another Scott Parker, but he endured a difficult early spell at Newcastle before coming good.
Our midfield still lacks a creator. Could it be time to drop Noble and bring in Collison? Or maybe even return Gustave Faubert to the wing where he had a fine game against Forest and almost made the winner - had Bentley not missed - against Millwall. And then there's Diop and Demel to consider... If we're going to play five across the middle it's vital we get the balance right,
Wednesday, September 28
Rolled over by the Tractor Boys
West Ham 0 Ipswich 1
“I am sure we will only get better and better,” announces Big Sam in the programme. At which point I can see Fortune being tied up in claret and blue ribbons and held hostage by Somalian pirates.
It’s down to Fraser, Lisa and myself tonight as Matt and Nigel are in Liverpool admiring Ed Balls' dribbling skills.
ENGLAND'S ENGLAND'S NUMBER TWO!
The game starts in a similar fashion to Saturday’s, with Green giving to make another fantastic reaction save to deny Chopra. Paul Jewell’s Ipswich play some fine passing football in the middle, orchestrated by the deep-lying Jimmy Bullard.
“Lee Bowyer is bound to score against us,” I tell Fraser with the ingrained pessimism of the Upton Park regular.
Bowyer has a lobbed shot tipped on to the post by Green and another volley from Leadbitter goes just over.
We never really get going. Baldock has a scuffed half-chance and Lansbury fires wide, but for all our work we fail to create chances and overhit crosses. Nolan is not scoring and generally we lack spark.
UNDER PRESSURE
The Irons improve in a more evenly-contested second half. Bentley has a lot of the ball and strikes up a decent understanding with McCartney, but too few of his crosses find a man. A great low cross from O’Brien flies across the goal with no one at the back post. We come closest when Bentley’s cross is almost met by Nolan, only to be thwarted by a great defensive interception. Cole has one of those games where the ball deflects from his head at every angle but the right one. Tomkins’ legs give way with cramp as he tries to make a header in the opposition box.
The big screen announces 20 per cent off season tickets. “It will be 25 per cent in five minutes time,” suggests Lisa.
Baldock shows great space in one run down the wing and does some nice inter-linking with Carew, who has replaced Carlton. But the team desperately needs someone who can dribble past defences and play a through ball, a Berkovic or Benayoun figure.
Her Indoors texts to tell me that the dog has eaten the butter and we need more Earl Gray tea.
Maybe we’re missing Matt’s swearing at the ref, we muse as the second half drifts on. Green has to make a good save from Leadbitter’s free kick. At least the defence has looked solid with Faye having another good game. And a point is better than nothing.
HE COMES FROM CANNING TOWN
Only it’s the 89th minute and Ipswich press. Jimmy Bullard’s corner hits the post and our old friend from Canning Town Lee Bowyer, fires home hard and low from the rebound. Another sodding late goal.
“One nil to the Tractor Boys!” holler the yokel heroes in the away end.
Substitute Jack Collison at least tests Stockdale before the whistle blows. Jeremy Nicholas plays Since You’ve Been Gone, possibly as a lament for Scott Parker
“I thought Big Sam said he’d identified the reason we keep losing at Upton Park,” says Lisa.
“Only he’s forgotten to tell the players,” I suggest.
We need a drink, possibly absinthe. “The Central will struggle with absinthe, they can’t even find real ale,” suggests Fraser.
So we visit the Black Lion for some Kew Gold in memory of absent Kew Gardens’ Iron Nigel. Some bloke called Tevez has refused to come on as a sub for Man City in something called the Champions League, claims Sky Sports News.
We would have gone top had we won, but this team is not good enough yet.
Allardyce has a point in that other sides have had longer to gel, but we have to improve at Palace. We’ve missed Taylor’s early season crosses and we desperately need a playmaker and Cole or Carew to start scoring regularly. It could be a long season.
“I am sure we will only get better and better,” announces Big Sam in the programme. At which point I can see Fortune being tied up in claret and blue ribbons and held hostage by Somalian pirates.
It’s down to Fraser, Lisa and myself tonight as Matt and Nigel are in Liverpool admiring Ed Balls' dribbling skills.
ENGLAND'S ENGLAND'S NUMBER TWO!
The game starts in a similar fashion to Saturday’s, with Green giving to make another fantastic reaction save to deny Chopra. Paul Jewell’s Ipswich play some fine passing football in the middle, orchestrated by the deep-lying Jimmy Bullard.
“Lee Bowyer is bound to score against us,” I tell Fraser with the ingrained pessimism of the Upton Park regular.
Bowyer has a lobbed shot tipped on to the post by Green and another volley from Leadbitter goes just over.
We never really get going. Baldock has a scuffed half-chance and Lansbury fires wide, but for all our work we fail to create chances and overhit crosses. Nolan is not scoring and generally we lack spark.
UNDER PRESSURE
The Irons improve in a more evenly-contested second half. Bentley has a lot of the ball and strikes up a decent understanding with McCartney, but too few of his crosses find a man. A great low cross from O’Brien flies across the goal with no one at the back post. We come closest when Bentley’s cross is almost met by Nolan, only to be thwarted by a great defensive interception. Cole has one of those games where the ball deflects from his head at every angle but the right one. Tomkins’ legs give way with cramp as he tries to make a header in the opposition box.
The big screen announces 20 per cent off season tickets. “It will be 25 per cent in five minutes time,” suggests Lisa.
Baldock shows great space in one run down the wing and does some nice inter-linking with Carew, who has replaced Carlton. But the team desperately needs someone who can dribble past defences and play a through ball, a Berkovic or Benayoun figure.
Her Indoors texts to tell me that the dog has eaten the butter and we need more Earl Gray tea.
Maybe we’re missing Matt’s swearing at the ref, we muse as the second half drifts on. Green has to make a good save from Leadbitter’s free kick. At least the defence has looked solid with Faye having another good game. And a point is better than nothing.
HE COMES FROM CANNING TOWN
Only it’s the 89th minute and Ipswich press. Jimmy Bullard’s corner hits the post and our old friend from Canning Town Lee Bowyer, fires home hard and low from the rebound. Another sodding late goal.
“One nil to the Tractor Boys!” holler the yokel heroes in the away end.
Substitute Jack Collison at least tests Stockdale before the whistle blows. Jeremy Nicholas plays Since You’ve Been Gone, possibly as a lament for Scott Parker
“I thought Big Sam said he’d identified the reason we keep losing at Upton Park,” says Lisa.
“Only he’s forgotten to tell the players,” I suggest.
We need a drink, possibly absinthe. “The Central will struggle with absinthe, they can’t even find real ale,” suggests Fraser.
So we visit the Black Lion for some Kew Gold in memory of absent Kew Gardens’ Iron Nigel. Some bloke called Tevez has refused to come on as a sub for Man City in something called the Champions League, claims Sky Sports News.
We would have gone top had we won, but this team is not good enough yet.
Allardyce has a point in that other sides have had longer to gel, but we have to improve at Palace. We’ve missed Taylor’s early season crosses and we desperately need a playmaker and Cole or Carew to start scoring regularly. It could be a long season.
Tuesday, September 27
Big Brother at the Palace
The Crystal Palace away game is sold out and any fans trying to get tickets through Palace should beware. My mate Gav, who lives in Charlton, phoned up and booked two tickets. An hour later he was phoned back and told that his purchase had been refunded as he was on record as having bought tickets at West Ham.
Now Gav is a football connoisseur in his late 40s - and a very unlikely member of the ICF. Surely there should be some method of differentiating between fans who want to see the game and can help out Palace's finances, and those with convictions for hooliganism?
And what about floating fans? Buy a ticket at one ground and it seems you're forever banned from several others.
Now Gav is a football connoisseur in his late 40s - and a very unlikely member of the ICF. Surely there should be some method of differentiating between fans who want to see the game and can help out Palace's finances, and those with convictions for hooliganism?
And what about floating fans? Buy a ticket at one ground and it seems you're forever banned from several others.
Sunday, September 25
Noble Irons see off a nice bit of Posh
West Ham 1 Peterborough 0
“We’ve never lost to Peterborough in two matches,” says Matt in Ken’s Café. “There’s always a first time!’ suggests someone in the queue.
It’s a good turnout in Ken’s soccer salon. My daughters are with me as it’s a free Academy members' game (well, not really free as you pay £25 for membership, as the astute Nell points out), plus Nigel, Iain, Jo and her double burger-eating grandson, Big Jo and Big Phill.
Early doors Peterborough almost catch the Hammers cold from a corner, as Green produces a fine reaction save from Rowe’s header.
West Ham take the lead after 10 minutes when Lansbury is pushed in the back by Lee Frecklington. Noble strokes home the penalty. Nigel speaks of “a cricket score” and how CQ is so confident of the result she doesn’t need to check it.
POSH SPICE
But still we look laboured in the first half, with Nolan and Taylor hardly involved as Peterborough play some nice stuff in the middle. Cole curls one effort a foot wide, Gustav Faubert is busy and after a nice backheel from the Frenchman, Lansbury curls one just over.
After the break Cole heads wide but then Borough dominate the midfield through Boyd and our old-boy Grant McCann. “He played in the 7-1 defeat at Blackburn,” says Matt of McCann’s short Hammers career.
HE'S BIGGER THAN ME AND YOU
Tomlin should have done better but slices a shot as the Posh slice through our midfield. You wonder why we have to play one striker at home against Peterborough. And why Baldock is on the bench. Mercifully Big Sam brings on Carew for Cole, to the delight of the Norwegian contingent behind us who say he’s bigger then me and you, and Bentley for Faubert.
The lime-booted Carew makes a difference, and is certainly difficult to shake off the ball. Bentley has one fine moment when he cuts inside a defender and produces a fine full-stretch save from Paul Jones.
The one positive is that Amdy Faye, in for the injured Tomkins, marshalls the defence well and makes a great sliding tackle on the left to deny a Posh break. Big Sam later approvingly describes him as “a man mountain”.
We wonder if Scott Parker will win man of the match. Ah, no it’s the unimaginative choice of Mark Noble, when it should have gone to Faye or Reid.
CORNER SHOCK
Matt has to leave early to catch the train to Liverpool. In the four added minutes we gain a series of corners and play keep-ball rather than go for a second.
“I know the result is important but it’s embarrassing to be keeping it in the corners against Peterborough,” suggests Nigel. “Still, Pardew’s initial team might have lost this.”
Allardyce even brings on Tomkins for Taylor to reinforce the defence.
We survive one final free kick and mercifully it’s over. A good result, but an unconvincing performance.
We amuse ourselves by texting part-time Matt with “Typical West Ham” and “Big Sam out”. This cunning ruse has him believing we’ve conceded an equaliser all the way to Euston.
Still, we go up to fourth, and are unbeaten in seven matches, but we’ll need to play much better against Ipswich. The defence was pleasingly solid, but this side still looks like it needs some pace and a natural finisher.
“We’ve never lost to Peterborough in two matches,” says Matt in Ken’s Café. “There’s always a first time!’ suggests someone in the queue.
It’s a good turnout in Ken’s soccer salon. My daughters are with me as it’s a free Academy members' game (well, not really free as you pay £25 for membership, as the astute Nell points out), plus Nigel, Iain, Jo and her double burger-eating grandson, Big Jo and Big Phill.
Early doors Peterborough almost catch the Hammers cold from a corner, as Green produces a fine reaction save from Rowe’s header.
West Ham take the lead after 10 minutes when Lansbury is pushed in the back by Lee Frecklington. Noble strokes home the penalty. Nigel speaks of “a cricket score” and how CQ is so confident of the result she doesn’t need to check it.
POSH SPICE
But still we look laboured in the first half, with Nolan and Taylor hardly involved as Peterborough play some nice stuff in the middle. Cole curls one effort a foot wide, Gustav Faubert is busy and after a nice backheel from the Frenchman, Lansbury curls one just over.
After the break Cole heads wide but then Borough dominate the midfield through Boyd and our old-boy Grant McCann. “He played in the 7-1 defeat at Blackburn,” says Matt of McCann’s short Hammers career.
HE'S BIGGER THAN ME AND YOU
Tomlin should have done better but slices a shot as the Posh slice through our midfield. You wonder why we have to play one striker at home against Peterborough. And why Baldock is on the bench. Mercifully Big Sam brings on Carew for Cole, to the delight of the Norwegian contingent behind us who say he’s bigger then me and you, and Bentley for Faubert.
The lime-booted Carew makes a difference, and is certainly difficult to shake off the ball. Bentley has one fine moment when he cuts inside a defender and produces a fine full-stretch save from Paul Jones.
The one positive is that Amdy Faye, in for the injured Tomkins, marshalls the defence well and makes a great sliding tackle on the left to deny a Posh break. Big Sam later approvingly describes him as “a man mountain”.
We wonder if Scott Parker will win man of the match. Ah, no it’s the unimaginative choice of Mark Noble, when it should have gone to Faye or Reid.
CORNER SHOCK
Matt has to leave early to catch the train to Liverpool. In the four added minutes we gain a series of corners and play keep-ball rather than go for a second.
“I know the result is important but it’s embarrassing to be keeping it in the corners against Peterborough,” suggests Nigel. “Still, Pardew’s initial team might have lost this.”
Allardyce even brings on Tomkins for Taylor to reinforce the defence.
We survive one final free kick and mercifully it’s over. A good result, but an unconvincing performance.
We amuse ourselves by texting part-time Matt with “Typical West Ham” and “Big Sam out”. This cunning ruse has him believing we’ve conceded an equaliser all the way to Euston.
Still, we go up to fourth, and are unbeaten in seven matches, but we’ll need to play much better against Ipswich. The defence was pleasingly solid, but this side still looks like it needs some pace and a natural finisher.
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