Monk fishing

The Daily Star printed a story claiming that West Ham are considering Gary Monk as manager. He's clearly a promising young manager, a Londoner and doing a great job at Swansea. But would he really be the answer? He's had one and a half seasons managing Swansea, where he was previously captain and knew the club. He also took over a good side that had won the League Cup and been largely built by Brendan Rodgers and Michael Laudrup. At a new club he might find things more difficult and would we want him to have his first bad patch the season before the Olympic Stadium move? Yes, he'd come cheaper than Big Sam, but we don't want to recruit solely on that basis.

It's worth considering the replacements we might have had had Big Sam gone last year; Malky Mackey, who would have been caught up in a racist/sexist/homophobic/anti-Semitic text scandal and Gus Poyet, who after a great end of season at Sunderland failed to inspire this time and ended up getting sacked. Despite the post-Christmas slump this has been a promising season with better football and some good signings. Allardyce virtually guarantees we stay up next season; any new manager would have to offer an improvement on that.

Chelsea after Cresswell while Cole remains indestructible

More bad news this week. First Liverpool were claimed to be trying to hi-jack West Ham's move for Carl Jenkinson (valued at £10m by Arsenal) and now yesterday's Evening Standard claims that Chelsea are considering bidding for Aaron Cresswell, with Man City also interested. Cresswell has been just about our best player this season and is a bargain at £3 million. Every player has his price, but even so to lose him would send out the wrong signal for next season.

Meanwhile there's more problems on the injury front. Diafra Sakho has aggravated an existing thigh injury against Stoke (should he have played at all?) and will be out for several weeks, while Enner Valencia was trodden on by a Stoke player and could be absent against Man City. Which would leave Carlton Cole as our only recognised frontman at City. You do have to admire Carlton's durability; at various points he's been ranked behind Dean Ashton, Bobby Zamora, Freddie Piquionne, Demba Ba, Robbie Keane, Victor Obinna, Andy Carroll, Diafra Sakho and Enner Valencia, but is still at Upton Park and still getting his share of games.

The side badly needs shaking up at City but we're running out of options. Certainly Morgan Amalfitano should get a game and maybe Nene and Matt Jarvis too. Diego Poyet might also be worth a chance as he's young and hungry. The biggest enigma is Alex Song, who started well against Stoke but faded again, having been our best player earlier in the season. According to the Sun he wasn't happy at being subbed. Is he unfit, out of form or resigned to moving on?

Arnie terminates Hammers' hopes of three points

West Ham 1 Stoke City 1

Best part of the day is showing Terry and David, my mum’s Stokie relatives, the sights of the East End. First it’s Ken’s Café where they find the bacon egg and chips almost as palatable as oatcakes and then a stroll to the Central, where I explain the rubble in the beer garden is surely a distressed design feature introduced by hipsters (possibly). We sup from plastic skiffs in a garden full of Stoke fans drinking from pitchers of ale and Terry bumps into a pal from Leek. Then it’s on to the ground to take in the pre-match atmosphere.

The game has an end of season atmosphere in the sunshine and the crowd is unusually subdued as the Stoke fans ask, “Is this a library?” West Ham have a good opening 15 minutes. Collins gets his head on a corner and Kouyate blazes across the goal. After 12 minutes Valencia is fouled by Whelan on the edge of the area. Nigel offers to bet Matt £100 that we’ll score. Being a vicar’s son opposed to all vices, Matt foolishly declines, as Aaron Cresswell curls a screamer into the top corner. A great start for the Hammers.

Instead of capitalising on an early goal we allow Stoke into the game as Moses and Walters get in dangerous crosses and N’Zonzi and Adam dominate midfield. Moses hits a shot wide and manages to injure himself in the process. A swift break just before half-time sees Valencia do well and Kouyate scuff his shot wide of the post.

LAZY SUNNY AFTERNOON

The second half is our worst performance of the season, with the entire side donning flip-flops and the midfield disappearing. Song and Noble have faded after a promising start and Downing has hardly been in the game. Arnautovic has the ball in the net from Adam’s through ball, but it’s disallowed, correctly, for offside. Allardyce takes off Song for Nolan in a bid to restore some leadership. Sakho goes off injured and is replaced by Cole after 59 minutes, which doesn’t help us. Cole’s nuisance value does allow Kouyate to burst through and hit a decent shot that Begovic parries, but it’s our only effort of the half.

Stoke enjoy an astonishing 65 per cent of possession in the match as we try to sit back and play on the break. Valencia isn’t fit to last the game and is replaced by Amalfitano after 78 minutes. West Ham receive another warning as Ireland Crosses and Diouf hits the inside of a post with a header. Cole has a rare header wide from Downing's cross and then it's back to Stoke domination. It looks like we might limp home to an undeserved win until the five minutes of added time. West Ham are second to the ball all afternoon and the lack of pressing is terrible. The players don’t look like they’re playing to save Big Sam’s job and it seems astonishing that this was the side that beat Man City and Liverpool.

LATE LATE SHOW

We escape again as Ireland crosses for Arnautovic to net, only for the goal to be again ruled out for being marginally offside. It’s into the fifth added minute and we lose two headed challenges, allowing Arnautovic to run at our defence, outspeeding Reid and Cresswell and finishing well with a shot into the corner in the corner. The away end erupts and it’s a deserved equaliser. It’s hard to even be disappointed, as we’ve so manifestly not deserved to win.

“On the positive side, we’re now safe on 43 points,” I quip.

At least there’s another drink in the Central afterwards and the chance for the Stokies to see Amir Begovic getting into a black people carrier in the car park. We can’t switch off with six games to go, and this was an unprofessional performance.  Some of the team might be new to the Premier League but other teams have that problem too. Players should be dropped/rested and posteriors kicked before we play at Man City.

TEAM RATINGS: Adrian 6; Jenkinson 5, Reid 5, Collins 6, Cresswell 6; Song 5 (Nolan 5), Noble 5, Kouyate 6, Downing 4; Sakho 5 (Cole 5), Valencia 5 (Amalfitano 4).

So before they come to break down the door…

Rather bizarre to have Sam Allardyce saying in the Evening Standard that his job has been linked with Rafa Benitez, David Moyes, Marcelo Bielsa, Steve Mclaren, Slaven Bilic, Eddie Howe and Gus Poyet this week. He also produces some Rafa style facts, including the claim that he would have been sacked if West Ham had had a bad run like this at the start of the season — though the evidence from last season suggests Gold and Sullivan tend to stick with managers mid-season. The sooner we get the managerial situation sorted the better as it's taking up too many headlines. Meanwhile there are rumours in the Mirror that Liverpool are trying to hi-jack Carl Jenkinson…

Terry and David, two of my relatives on my mum's side from Stoke, are coming down today to sample the full Upton Park experience of Ken's Cafe, the Central and Black Lion, so let's look forward to a dour goalless draw. Although today's Guardian says Peter Crouch needs just one headed goal to match Alan Shearer's PL record. Let's hope he stays on the bench.

Andy's Angel of the North

Here's something to cheer us up… Andy Carroll has had a 15-foot tall replica of the Angel of the North sculpture installed in the garden of his Chigwell mansion. Should go well with Billi's pink decor. If Big Sam visits and spots a big Iron bloke with outstretched wings he may well draft him in to the side to solve our problems up front. The Angel might not be that mobile, but he would be a lot less injury-prone than Andy and Enner.

Hammers out-Foxed by King

Leicester City 2 West Ham 1 

Playing away against the bottom club in a must-win game for Leicester, what could possibly go wrong? Not much we can do about Cambiasso's opener after 12 minutes, as the ball rebounds off Collins and the Leicester man fires home a superb volley from the edge of the box. West Ham almost equalise immediately as Schmeichel makes a great save after Kouyate shoots from Sakho's knock-down. Then it's back down the other end and a penalty to Leicester after Jenkinson upends Ulloa. Adrian is off his line but produces a fine save from Nugent's penalty. West Ham come right back into it after that and after Nolan heads a great chance wide from Downing's cross. Then Song plays in a deep cross, it goes over the head of a Leicester defender and Kouyate chests it down to fire home into the corner. A well-taken goal from the big man.

In the second half, fired by a noisy crowd, Leicester come at West Ham and miss several chances. But the impressive Kouyate hits the post from Sakho's knock-down and Downing sees a deflected shot brilliantly tipped over by Schmeichel. Cresswell clears one off the line and it looks like we're going to get a point until the 86th minute, when a left-wing cross causes mayhem in the box and Andy King manages to divert a mishit shot in off Adrian's hands. There's still time left for Adrian to make a good one-on-one save from Vardy.

A big win for a desperate Leicester and looks like a decent game, but that's no use to us. West Ham have to target wins from the Stoke, Burnley and Everton home games and hope to pick up points from at least one of the games at QPR, Villa and Newcastle, assuming we'll get tonked at Man City. Otherwise our season is going to end with a whimper.

The sad story of Jack Collison

Very good piece in Monday's Guardian on Jack Collision. Sadly he's now without a club having been released by Ipswich following yet more injury problems. The article by Jacob Steinberg really gets over the pain and frustration he's been through following a freak injury at Wigan. Jack looked like developing into a really strong goalscoring midfielder in 2008-09, starring in a 4-1 win at Portsmouth and getting the winner against Manchester City three days before his injury.

He showed tremendous bravery playing against Millwall two days after his dad died in a motor bike accident and helped West Ham get back to the Premier League with his two goals at Cardiff in the Play-Off Semi Final of 2012. But his career has cruelly been hampered by that knee injury. Jack reveals that he played in the Play-Off Final with a jab and "could hardly move." Let's hope he can make some sort of recovery and eventually get back to playing again. And if he doesn't he's now doing a degree in sports writing through the PFA. Best of luck for the future, Jack.