West Ham manager mugged at gunpoint in Chile

Just another normal morning at WHUFC. "West Ham manager mugged at gunpoint in Chile." Manuel Pellegrini. his wife and friends were mugged by gun-toting gangsters on his way to a restaurant in Santiago. Thankfully he's ok, although shots were fired at police as the gang made their getaway with a handbag. Now West Ham finally have a decent manager we were wondering what could possibly go wrong… and I think we just found out. Let's hope Manuel doesn't follow this up with a scouting trip to North Korea.

Notes from Underground

The Chilean miners are slowly emerging from the underground tomb where they've been trapped for two months.

The first man up, possibly a close relative of Javier Margas, was rumoured to have asked "Have West Ham got a point yet?"

When he was told they had five he broke down and hugged his family as the crowd began to cheer wildly... although then someone had to break the news that we're still bottom.