Taty bye to QPR

West Ham 2 QPR 1 (FA Cup)

In the Best Meze Cafe it's a solid turnout of Matt, Lisa, Nigel and Big Sam, though the breakfast menu is off but the chips arrive fairly quickly. Matt is full of interesting information, including the fact that Mott the Hoople once recorded a song called Waterlow about Waterlow Park, not to be confused with the Kinks' Waterlow Sunset. He then goes down a Wikipedia rabbit hole, researching Scott the Hoople, who is in fact Scott McCaughey, a guitarist who once played with REM.

Meanwhile Nigel is noting that the Eagles' Joe Walsh is in goal for QPR, up against our Desperardo attack. We wonder if in The Long Run and perhaps if Hell Freezes Over we might even win. 

I'm hoping the game doesn't go to extra time as my wife has purchased me a ticket to see Tony 'Baldrick' Robinson at the Park Theatre at 5pm, without realising the date of this game had changed. Baldrick's current cunning plan for West Ham is seemingly to lose all our games and lull our opponents into a false sense of security.

In the stadium the noisy QPR fans have a whole end and seem to think they are by far the greatest team the world has ever seen, which might be news to Real Madrid and Barcelona.

Ezra Mayers makes his debut at left wing-back and AWB returns, with Castellanos up front and Paqueta rested amid transfer rumours of a return to Brazil. Nigel's literary cry of "Go on Ezra Pound!" might be lost on younger fans, but young Ezra looks promising, showing a good turn of pace in a poor game. 

Not much happens in the first half until the lively Jimmy Summerville cuts inside to unleash a shot that Walsh does really well to tip over. The Greek Bloke goes down with injury following a corner and has to be stretchered off. Let's hope it's not as serious as it looked for Dinos. Pablo replaces him.

West Ham get the fillip we need in added time. Pablo does well to shrug off Cook and play the ball to Magassa. The midfielder, who has had a mixed half, feeds Summerville who wallops home from a tight angle.

But as ever WHU seem to fade after the break. Kone causes Todibo problems and forces a save from Hermansen. The equaliser comes after a hasty clearance is fired back in by Dembele and Kone gets in front of Wan-Bissaka to head home.

"We'll see you all next year!" chant the Rangers fans, along with some ribald comments on the architectural merits of the London Stadium. West Ham improve after the goal with Soucek replacing Magassa. Summerville has a really positive game and Castellanos tests Walsh with a long-range effort.

WE'RE WINNING AT HOME!

But the game ends at 1-1 and I'm forced to miss the added 30 minutes in favour of Tony Robinson and the Full Time Team. At least the proper fans are there to see Soucek force a save from Walsh and Summerville go close. In the 98th minute Summerville produces a Cruyff-like turn to send the QPR full-back racing towards Hackney Wick. Jimmy jinks in a fine cross and Castellanos is there to head home a poacher's goal. Could the Irons finally have found a striker? To  channel Ken Dodd, it's Taty bye to QPR.

The Hammers see the game out and after ten winless matches we'll take any form of victory. This might be an important turning point for Crysencio Summerville too, since he's got a goal and an assist to finally produce some end product from his runs. The Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's gaff remains on. Now let's get a result at Spurs.

PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Wan-Bissaka 6 (Walker-Peters 5), Kilman 5, Todibo 6, Mavropanos 6 (Pablo 6), Mayers 7 (Scarles 5); Magassa 6 (Soucek 6), Potts 6; Summerville 8, Bowen 6, Castellanos 7 (Rodriguez n/a).