Penalties galore as Hammers let leads slip again

West Ham 2 Brighton 2

It's a 7.30pm kick-off for some reason so it's a dash to Hackney Wick for fireworks and flames before kick-off. The team that meets in caffs has made it from an over-stretched Best Cafe, consisting of Nigel still in Christmas jumper, legendary bassist CQ, Big Sam, Matt and Lisa. 

Nuno starts Wilson for once. Strikers? We remember them. Brighton's Minteh heads a cross into the hands of Areola in an early alarm, but the Hammers start with good intensity. On ten minutes Paqueta plays a typical through ball, Bowen looks to have taken a heavy touch but cleverly nicks the ball past Verbruggen. That's the start we needed.

For half an hour the Hammers play pretty well and Scarles, who is doing well after his Fulham mishap, sends a decent chance wide. But Minteh's speed is a threat and when Fernades misses a clearance Kilman is exposed and the winger goes over his dangled leg. Nigel's favourite player 'Stan' Welbeck makes it 1-1 from the penalty spot as he scores yet again against WHU. 

Two minutes later it's another penalty when Paqueta drags down Dunk as a corner comes in. It's pretty stupid to do this right in front of the referee, though perhaps Paqueta didn't realise he was so isolated and it happens at every set-piece these days. Nuno should surely tell Lucas never to enter his own box. To everyone's relief Welbeck tries a Panenka and hits the bar. There's some argy bargy as Danny gets told to Stan Welbeck and Fernandes is booked.

That miss gives West Ham a lift and when Scarles mishits a shot into the box Wilson controls and shoots only to see his effort blocked by Dunk's outstretched hand. Ref Michael Sailsbury waves play on but VAR sends him to the monitor and it's a penalty. Lucas Paqueta does a heart-stopping skip and jump and sends the keeper the wrong way. So Lucas has made a goal, conceded a penalty and scored a penalty in the first half. 

We can't argue with the entertainment at half-time and the crowd has been noisy under the lights, sensing the urgency of West Ham's plight. Though Matt thinks that Ref Salisbury Wilts under pressure. Nigel eats his lucky chocolate roll. 

The second half begins with the familiar home nerves as West Ham sit back yet again. Todibo has gone off injured which is a blow, though the Greek Bloke does pretty well in his place. Mitoma comes on and causes lots of problems. 

HE'S BEHIND YOU!

The equaliser is another corner catastrophe. Areola gets under the Mitoma's inswinger and can only palm it to Veltman who taps home. Wilson is replaced by Summerville after 63 minutes to a chorus of boos from the Irons fans who want a striker on the pitch. West Ham nearly come back when Bowen gets his head on a Potts free-kick only to see Verbruggen pull off a fine save.

But it's the Tesco Bags who press for the winner as the Irons run out of steam. A nice side-plot is their Turkish Bloke Kostoulas up against our Greek Bloke Mavropanos. The Turkish Bloke fires an effort straight at Areola. Mitoma plays a neat one-two and forces the Fonz into a fine low save while Summerville gets through but shoots straight at Verbruggen. 

Mayers comes on as an emergency right-back when Walker-Peters departs, while Kante comes into midfield and impresses with his strength and energy. But it's tough bringing kids into a relegation struggle. Potts and Paqueta dawdle over a free kick and Brighton break with Rutter forcing another save. In the last minute Areola loses the flight of another corner and the Greek Bloke does well to head off the line.

It's two points dropped although a small relief is that at least we got something from the game and ended the run of three losses. We just can't hold a lead and errors from Kilman, Paqueta and Areola have cost us again.

We brave the chill night to make it to the Eagle where we respect the pint for the final time this year. At least Nuno must now be aware what we need in the window, a striker, defender and perhaps a winger. Let's hope 2026 is a better year for the Irons.

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Walker-Peters 7 (Mayers 5), Kilman 5, Todibo 6 (Mavropanos 6), Scarles 7; Potts 6, Magassa 6 (Soucek 5), Fernandes 6, Paqueta 7 (Kante 6); Bowen 7, Wilson 6 (Summerville 5).

Just relegation for the claret and blue?

West Ham 0 Fulham 1 

Surely this is where West Ham restore some festive spirit. We've converged from all over the country, Lisa arriving on the delayed train from Taunton, Nigel in Christmas jumper from Felixstowe, Big Sam from Wales, Matt from perusing the New Year's Honours List and a tardy Michael, fresh from his first pantomime of the day, Mama Goose at Stratford East Theatre Royal.

Its good to see Pablo Fornals being interviewed on the pitch before kick-off as Nuno starts with an unchanged side and Wilson on the bench. The game kicks off with the fans in a fairly positive mood apart from the festive "Sack the Board!" chants and red cards on 15 minutes. Areola does well to tip over a curling effort from the impressive Harry Wilson, but soon West Ham are on top.

Todibo plays a fine through ball to Jarrod Bowen, whose shot is tipped away by Leno. Ollie Scarles plays another good ball behind the Fulham defence to Bowen, whose low shot is tipped round the post by Leno, only for the offside flag to be raised. Potts plays in a free kick and Kilman does well to head back to Jimmy Summerville, whose goalbound shot is deflected wide.

West Ham are playing fairly well and showing some desire. Walker-Peters and Scarles are slotting in well in place of Wan-Bissaka and Diouf, while Magassa is strong in the tackle and Paqueta and Fernandes are busy in midfield. There's a scare before the break as Andersen's long-range shot is blocked by Areola's foot and Todibo does well to get to the rebound first. 

At half-time Matt is still confident we'll win even if Nigel has forgotten his lucky banana. In an interval trivia outbreak, Nigel asks us who was the first Frenchman to play for West Ham and is mightily impressed when Matt answers David Terrier. 

The second half sees Callum Wilson come on after 56 minutes, replacing Summerville, who has just dawdled over a shot rather than shooting first-time. The former Leeds man is still struggling to produce an end product. Magassa shows a new side to his game bursting down the right to force Leno into a parrying his cross-shot, though a defender clears under pressure from Wilson. 

Paqueta has a shot straight at the keeper and continually tries to thread through intricate passes, but Fulham remain strong at the back. Magassa makes another fine run down the right, pulling back for Bowen to poke just wide when he should probably score. Wilson is giving the side a focus and after good work from Fernandes and Paqueta he breaks to get away from Cuenca and fire narrowly wide. There's yet another chance when Bowen sets up Wilson, who fires wastefully over.

It looks like West Ham will have to settle for a point from a game they could have won, that is until five minutes from the end. Fernandes heads away from goal but then Scarles slices and misses his clearance on the left. Wilson crosses instantly and Jimenez has lost Todibo to head home a simple goal. Poor Ollie has his head in his hands, though we all make mistakes and it's not his fault the team has missed chances.

TRIGGER WARNING

The whole stadium is deflated. George Earthy has replaced Paqueta but can't do much in eight minutes, and nor can Soucek. For the four minutes of added time West Ham tap it around at the back rather than put it in the mixer. For the first time this season I start to think we're really going down. We can't even respect the point. Ollie Scarles leaves the pitch in tears.

We retreat to the Eagle for pints of Old Speckled Hen and then a Wingman that has mysteriously reappeared on draught. Michael is heading off to the Almeida Theatre to see Christmas Day, a play which has trigger warnings for, "male nudity, blood, drug use, dead animals, vomiting, discussion of antisemitism, Islamophobic, anti-Black and antisemitic words, references to the Holocaust, discussion and descriptions of violence and conflict, and references to Gaza, child abuse, bereavement, loud noises, latex and fur." We wonder if West Ham games should also have trigger warnings for false hope, bad language, extreme frustration, tearful defenders, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and references to relegation.

The fan who sits in front of us says he's seen worse in 60 years of games, so we try to think of a comparable season but don't get much beyond the Avram Grant relegation season and the Pardew season in the Championship when we signed endless players like Adam Nowland, Jobi McAnuff, Jon Harley, Malky Mackay and Darryl Powell. 

To cap it all my Tunnock's Caramel Wafer has fallen out of my coat pocket and is retrieved after my departure by Lisa and Matt. It's been that kind of day. Brighton and Wolves now become must-win games, but it's already feeling like it's too late to avoid the drop.

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Walker-Peters 6, Kilman 7, Todibo 6, Scarles 6; Potts 6, Magassa 7 (Soucek 5), Fernandes 6, Paqueta 6 (Earthy 5); Bowen 6, Summerville 5 (Wilson 6).

Manchester so much to answer for...

Man City 3 West Ham 0

No-one expected much from this fixture with Wan-Bissaka and Diouf away in Africa and the Hammers in the bottom three. Still, it's depressing to be a goal down after just five minutes. Looking at the highlights Mateus Fernandes, who has been playing well recently, fails to track Foden as he bursts into the box and crosses for Haaland. Areola saves the Norwegian's first effort but Haaland reacts quicker than Scarles to poke home.

Haaland misses a good headed chance and Rejinders has an effort parried by Areola. The only chance for West Ham comes after good work by Walker-Peters finds Bowen, who fires across the face of Donnarumma's goal. But before the break City get the second as Fernandes tries to dribble out of the box and gets robbed by Cherki, then Haaland is allowed too much space to find Reijnders who fires home.

West Ham do give it more of a go after the break. Summerville gets down the left to fire a low cross-shot at Donnarumma, who gets up well to parry Potts' follow-up, before Fernandes shoots wastefully over. Next Bowen rounds Donnarumma to fire into the side-netting from a tight angle. The Irons' best chance comes as Paqueta plays a fine ball to the breaking Bowen, who beats O'Reilly but fires just wide of the post when he would normally be scoring.

The game is put to bed when Kilman is nutmegged by Savinho and Todibo and Kilman get in each other's way to allow Haaland to shoot home number three. There's still time for Paqueta to find Summerville, whose shot is saved by Donnarumma's face. After that City nearly get a fourth as Haaland misses an inviting chance for a hat-trick.

So it ends 3-0 and with Leeds thrashing Crystal Palace 4-1 the Irons are six points adrift in the bottom three at Christmas. Though to be positive the Hammers created three good chances at City, who could well win the league. But it's results that count and the next four games against Fulham, Brighton, Wolves and Forest are now more vital than ever. So is signing a new young striker and a big bruising defender. Or failing that we could always get a Christmas Carroll from Dagenham.

Rogers double denies unlucky Hammers

West Ham 2 Aston Villa 3

Matt's bother Adam has arrived from Australia at 7am and despite jetlag come straight to the London Stadium via the Best Meze Cafe. So after travelling 12,000 miles to see the Hammers what could possibly go wrong? 

Before kick-off there's Alvin Martin on the pitch paying tribute to Billy Bonds and a giant Bonds banner unfurled from our stand. Matt and Lisa are fresh from a trip to see Marco Boogers' old club Sparta Rotterdam, while Nigel and Big Sam make up our number with Michael possibly away on Christmas pantomime duties (oh no he isn't!).

Wilson remains on the bench with Bowen and Summerville playing in front of Paqueta. It's a good atmosphere and the best possible start as after 29 seconds Mateus Fernandes dispossesses a dawdling Konsa and fires past Bizot from a tight angle. Perhaps a fit Martinez might have done better, but it's a great finish from the Portugeezer.

As ever the Irons can't keep a lead. Eight minutes later a fairly simple cross comes into the box and it looks to us as if Watkins has scored with a great glancing header, though it is in fact a Mavropanos own goal. It's a bit unlucky for Dinos, who had to go for the ball but just got under it.

The crowd stay with the Hammers and West Ham regain the lead. Paqueta plays a great ball to Diouf on the left, who claims for a handball from his first cross, but quickly crosses again. From the headed clearance Potts shoots and Bowen deflects it in with a good striker's finish. There's a VAR check but Diouf is ruled onside.

Rogers curls an effort wide but at the break Villa haven't had a shot on target. It's a long time since we've scored twice in the first half and Nigel reflects that it's maybe our best half of the season, with Potts, Magassa and Fernandes nullifying the Villa midfield. Meanwhile we're joined at half time by Steve the Cornish Postie, who seems a bit of a part-timer only coming from Cornwall compered to Adam's trek from Oz.

SNATCHING DEFEAT...

Villa are quick to level after the break. Paqueta loses possession with a careless flick in midfield, Tielemans goes down the wing and crosses for Rogers, who has lost Wan-Bisakka, to control smoothly and stroke home.

At 2-2 it could go either way. Malen has a shot parried by Areola. Paqueta plays a clever through ball to Bowen who slots into the corner only to be ruled offside by an elbow via VAR. West Ham look to win it as Jimmy Summerville wriggles though the box to fire into the side-netting and several corners come to nothing. 

But on 79 minutes Potts and Magassa have stepped forward a little too far and Lindelof finds Rogers in space 30 yards from goal. The England man fires home a hypersonic missile of a shot. The spirit of Fraser is telling us that no keeper should be beaten from outside the box, but in fairness to Areola the ball has swerved and dipped viciously in the air.

We now allow Nigel to don his lucky hat and eat his lucky banana, but it seems inanimate objects may not save our season. West Ham huff and puff as Wilson is brought on too late and Soucek, Kante and Rodriguez arrive in the 88th minute. Rogers fires across goal and one promising WHU free kick ends up with the ball with Areola rather than being played into the box.

A draw would have been a fairer result but the Hammers have to tighten up defensively. Leads have slipped against Bournemouth, Brighton and Villa and it's worse when we've played ok overall. You wouldn't trust Nuno's men to walk your dog. Though it has to be remembered that Villa are a fine side challenging for the title and this is their ninth successive win.

We head to the Eagle where there's now Wingman on tap and Won't Get Fooled Again on the jukebox. We wonder if this might be a subliminal message to Adam, who confesses that he's never seen West Ham win in all his years of travelling back from Australia.

After the seemingly inevitable loss at Man City a run of winnable games comes up with the Irons playing Fulham, Brighton and Forest at home and Wolves away. That will surely define our season as will the hunt for a striker and defender in January.

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Wan-Bissaka 5, Mavropanos 5, Todibo 6, Diouf 7; Potts 7 (Soucek n/a), Magassa 7 (Wilson 5), Fernandes 8, Paqueta 6 (Rodriguez n/a); Summerville 6 (Kante n/a), Bowen 7.

Denied at the death but a decent point at Brighton

Brighton 1 West Ham 1

With only one win in 16 games against Brighton this was a nervous watch on Sky. The team selection seems strange with Potts, Magassa and Wilson on the bench. Nuno's thinking is presumably to bring in fresh legs after Thursday's draw at Man United in the form of Rodriguez, Kilman, Summerville and Paqueta, who is back from the naughty step. 

Surprisingly it works really well as the Hammers five-man back line and low block frustrates Brighton. Wieffer misses a good chance but Brighton don't have a shot on target for 90 minutes. The maligned Rodriguez does pretty well in midfield and 'Stan' Welbeck is well-contained by the Greek Bloke and co. West Ham look dangerous on the counter with Paqueta on his best referee-loving behaviour testing Verbruggen from range and trying to feed Summerville whenever he can. One such ball finds Jimmy clear only for the returning winger to curl his shot wide when he should score.

The second half sees West Ham look the likelier side. Released thanks to Paqueta's tenacity, Bowen dribbles through the Seagull's defence to force a great save from Verbruggen, who then leaps up again to deny Summerville's overhead kick. 

Rodriguez comes off for Potts and Wilson replaces Summerville. Within 54 seconds of coming on Wilson does well to capitalise on Van Hecke's poor header and find Bowen, though it looks like the ball is a little overhit. But Jarrod, under close attention from Kadioglu, does brilliantly to fire home from an acute angle. Wow, it looks like a brilliant away win coming up.

Brighton almost equalise when the ball spins off Kilman's foot and Areola does really well to tip it on to the bar. Nuno possibly makes too many subs bringing on on Soucek, Magassa and Ezra Mayers for a league debut at left -back, though Diouf has had a decent contest with Minteh.

With 90 minutes gone Brighton still haven't had a shot on target are putting the Irons under severe pressure. Areola has to make a flying save from Kostoulas. In the 91st minute Rutter has a shot saved by Areola, Van Hecke keeps the ball alive and Rutter fires home in the melee. VAR intervenes as Rutter has handled before his first shot, but rules under some byzantine protocol that the handball hasn't led directly to a goal. Bizarrely VAR also ignores the overhead kick from Kostoulas that has whacked the six foot four Mavropanos on the head. The Greek Bloke was jumping too.

There's still time for West Ham to win a corner in the last minute that the Greek Bloke heads wide when he should hit the target. It's a decent point considering our poor record at Brighton, but we're still in the bottom three after failing to hold on to the win. A good performance though. Nuno has undoubtedly improved the defence, particularly Todibo, and Fernandes has had a really good game in midfield. Two points from Man United and Brighton away is a sign of progress. Irons!

Magassa earns deserved point at Man United

Manchester United 1 West Ham United 1

It's back to lucky-ish pub the Floirin with Lisa for this one. The Guinness is good as we take our table next to several older MUFC fans in Sharp-sponsored United shirts, gathered to watch their side go fifth if they win. Roy Keane and Super Slaven Bilic are in the studio as Sky seems to focus exclusively on the Mancs pre-match. 

West Ham's bench is packed with kids in the absence of Paqueta, Summerville, Guilherme, Scarles and Fullkrug, while poor old James Ward-Prowse is again persona non grata.

Heaven is booked for clattering Wilson and Diallo dives to try and win a penalty early on. It's soon evident that Aaron Wan-Bissaka has a point to prove to his old employers. He makes a couple of brilliant tackles and gets forward to cross for Mateus Fernandes to have a goalbound shot blocked.

United increase the pressure towards the end of the half with Amad causing Diouf problems. Mbuemo's curling shot is tipped over by Areola. United have a double chance as Zirkzee's shot is cleared off the line by AWB and then Bruno Fernandes volleys just wide. 

But Potts and Magassa are getting in tackles, the Greek Bloke is solid and Todibo is having his best game for West Ham. Shortly before the break Bowen jinks inside three defenders to get a shot away, only for it be half-blocked and gathered by Lammens.

Nuno will be the happier gaffer with 0-0 at the break. The second half sees a great West Ham move as Magassa, Bowen and Wilson combine to release Magassa who fires into the side-netting. But it looks like the usual plucky defeat when Casemiro's mishit shot deflects to Dalot who strokes home.

West Ham show character to keep going and Magassa, Bowen and Wan-Bissaka show real intensity to drive the team forward as Potts has a shot blocked. Mbuemo's dive in the box doesn't fool the ref as Todibo hasn't touched him. Nuno brings on Andy Irving and gives a debut to French youngster Mohamadou Kante - he's certainly not scared of using young players.

MAGIC MAGASSA

The Portobello Pirlo's first act is to curl in a great corner. Bowen gets a flick-on and his header is cleared off the line by Mazraoui. But Soungoutou Magassa is on hand to calmly steer it into the corner. He looks ecstatic to score and races to the away fans. We might have a player here.

On 90 minutes we're treated to a late cameo from DC, arriving straight from work and staying long enough to see Bowen get through and cross across the goalmouth and Bruno Fernandes fire over from Areola's parry during the five minutes of added time.

It's a merited draw in the end. It might not take West Ham out of the bottom three but it's a very encouraging performance. The evening is made better by watching Roy Keane doing his Grinch act in the studio, complaining that United fans are too positive cheering off players who get subbed. "No disrespect to West Ham," he says, before disrespecting West Ham.

A big positive is that our midfield is suddenly young and energetic, with Potts, Magassa and Fernandes all in their early twenties. Callum Wilson has lasted 87 minutes too, though we also need a younger striker in the window to take the pressure off him. I'd keep the same side for the Brighton match even with Paqueta returning after suspension, just to prove that it's not all about him. There were some nice choruses of "Billy Bonds' Claret and Blue Army!" picked up on the TV too. Billy would have approved of the attitude shown at Old Trafford. Irons!

Billy Bonds is after you...

"Sort it out Billy!" was the shout you'd always hear from the Chicken Run or North Bank back in the 1970s and 1980s. My mum always thought that the name Billy Bonds sounded like a pirate and the adjective the press often attached to him was "buccaneering" as he rampaged across the pitch with his seventies beard and flowing hair. 

Billy was certainly a hard man and if anyone clattered Pat Holland or Trevor Brooking he would be there having a word or sliding in on the culprit. But Billy was also a very skilful player and underrated passer, as we saw when he made a comeback to play in midfield at 44 during the 1987-88 season.

Having signed from Charlton Bonzo started off as a right back but really shone when switched to defensive midfield. On The Big Match and in matches he always seemed to be shouting and pointing, organising his side. With Brooking and Paddon he formed the quality midfield that won the FA Cup in 1975. Bonds scored with some great long-range shots and volleys and finished the club's top scorer in the 1973-74 season with 13 goals, including a hat-trick against Chelsea. Bonzo netted quite a few headers too with that loping and bouncing spring of his. In the boozy 1970s side of Moore and Greaves and co he remained super-fit and, always a family man, he would the first to head for home after training or a match.

He was brilliant when moved to centre back too and with Alvin Martin formed the impregnable barrier that kept a clean sheet against Arsenal in the 1980 FA Cup win. Other career highlights were winning the old second division championship and reaching the League Cup Final in 1980-81. 

He wrote in his autobiography Bonzo of coming up against Vinny Jones when he was 40-odd and laughing at Jones' crude attempts to annoy him: "Vinny's attempts to wind me up with little shoves, tugs and taps at corners and set-pieces and non-stop verbals literally made me laugh."

Bonzo helped the club by becoming manager after Lou Macari, twice winning promotion and getting relegated once. But with his high standards he never seemed quite suited to the modern management of big-earners and though he never forgave Harry Redknapp for taking over, Harry was clearly the better buyer and seller of players. His spell at Millwall was regrettable from our point of view, but perhaps understandable for a south London lad.

Away from the pitch he was a very different character, a gentle man who was a keen bird-watcher. He was never arrogant and the biggest ire in his Bonzo autobiography was reserved for Ted MacDougall: "I played with and against some really great strikers, far better than he ever was. Yet none of them carried on as if waiters receptionists and the like were just menial workers instead of ordinary decent people doing a job."

I'm proud to have seen Bonzo lift the FA Cup twice at Wembley and it's hard to forget his tears on the pitch before the Newcastle game when the Billy Bonds Stand was officially named after him. His 799 games for the Hammers will surely never be beaten. The term legend is much over-used but he really was one. If only he was here to sort it out now. RIP Bonzo.

Liverpool come good as petulant Paqueta sees red

West Ham 0 Liverpool 2

Everything else is overshadowed by the morning's news that Billy Bonds has died.The club do pretty well at short notice to organise a video tribute, a minute's applause and Jarrod Bowen laying a number four shirt at the side of the pitch. The game starts to choruses of "Billy Bonds' Claret and Blue Army!" and 1970s classic, "Oh Billy Billy, Billy Billy Billy Billy Bonds!" plus another minute's applause in the fourth minute.

Liverpool haven't helped us by dropping Salah to give more support to their defence and recalling Gomez to the troubled right-back spot. Up against a team on their worst run in years and with Isak not having scored a goal — what could possibly go wrong? I'm joined by Matt and Lisa, Nigel, Michael and Big Sam, who has travelled up from Wales next to an annoying Chelsea fan who drank three bottles of wine before Paddington.

Kilman has been dropped with the Greek Bloke coming in while Magassa is in for the still-injured Jimmy Summerville. A few early West Ham corners are followed by Alisson dropping as if felled by the Grealish Sniper. Or was it just one of the black balloons popping? We suspect that Jack might be going down holding his leg somewhere on Merseyside.

West Ham compete reasonably well, without ever troubling Alisson. Magassa gets stuck in, Fernandes is busy and the Greek Bloke starts well. Liverpool are surprisingly physical and ref Darren England lets a lot go. It's Liverpool who create the first-half chances. Isak skies a shot over and then has a goalbound volley blocked by Areola's star-jump. While a long ball from Alisson sees Wan-Bissaka miskick and Wirtz allow Areola to save.

The breakthrough comes in the 60th minute. Clever footwork from Wirtz releases Gakpo whose low cross is cleverly steered home first-time by Isak, who has lost Dinos. Nuno brings on the £20m Guilherme and £27m Fullkrug in an effort to salvage a point, while for the Scousers £125m Isak is replaced by £69m Ekitike. The £116m Wirtz is replaced by Jones. 

SEEING RED

There's still a slight chance West Ham might grab a point until Paqueta gets himself sent off in ridiculous fashion. He waves his arms in the air after a free kick is awarded against Fullkrug and gets booked for dissent. Paqueta then pursues the ref and has to be held back by his Brazilian team-mate Alisson. We can all see what's going to happen from the Billy Bonds Stand. It's terrible captaincy from Bowen too, who should be marching Paqueta away from the referee, or instructing Dinos or Todibo to get him away. Lucas talks himself into an utterly self-indulgent second yellow and departs ironically applauding the referee. 

Paqueta later posts on X that he's received no support from the FA over his two-year purgatory facing those betting changes, but even if that's the case he's got a duty to his team-mates and the club who stood by him. This sending off was, as the BBC puts it, nonsensical.

West Ham do fashion their only decent chance after Paqueta's departure. Guilherme dribbles towards the box, Fullkrug's strength sees the ball fall to Bowen who curls it just wide. Jarrod's had a frustrating afternoon not really running at Kerkez and looks as if he might be carrying a slight knock.

In added time Liverpool score a second against our ten men as Mavropanos misses the ball and Gakpo chests it down to shoot home. Not exactly the way we wanted to pay tribute to Billy Bonds.

We retreat to the Eagle where Nigel reminisces about telling Ian Gillan that Smoke on the Water was the first song played at his wedding. As we watch Chelsea play Arsenal Matt lists his top five most hated PL players, including Joao Pedro, Enzo Fernandez and Villa's Martinez. Lisa thinks he might actually have a list of 365 most hated players. The juke box plays Down Under to mark Matt's brother's imminent visit from Australia for the Villa game — what could possibly go right?

So it's Man United away on Thursday with Paqueta suspended for gross stupidity followed by a difficult away match at Brighton. This wasn't a terrible performance and Liverpool are not as bad as recent form suggests, but we need action in the window to stay up.

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 7; Wan-Bissaka 5, Mavropanos 5, Todibo 6, Diouf 5; Magassa 6 (Guilherme 5), Potts 6 (Soucek n/a), Fernandes 6, Paqueta 3; Bowen 5, Wilson 5 (Fullkrug 6).