Another year over and a new one just begun

Well it's the end of 2024 and some unwanted records for the Irons. West Ham conceded 87 goals in the calendar year, the most of any Premier League club and the most goals the Hammers have conceded since 1967 (when we had Bobby Moore, strangely enough). 

The year began with West Ham sixth in the league and going well under David Moyes. But form has been poor since and you do wonder what might have happened if West Ham hadn't employed a technical director and alienated Moyes, who has just received a OBE. Could Moyes have turned it round with his own signings rather than Tim Steidten's? Though the defensive malaise definitely started under Moyes last season as Zouma's knees creaked and WHU let in six against Arsenal and five at Palace, Fulham, Liverpool and Chelsea.This time round under Lopetegui we've also let Liverpool score five twice and Arsenal beat us 5-2.

But there were some highlights of 2024 most notably a run to the quarter-finals of the Europa League and the epic 5-0 demolition of Freiburg and running unbeaten Bayer Leverkusen very close in the 1-1 draw at the London Stadium. Plus there was Bowen's hat-trick at home to Brentford and a 2-2 draw with Liverpool and George Earthy's goal against Luton, though there's not been too much to enjoy this season. 

On a personal note it was also the year we lost our fellow season-ticket holder Fraser Massey, so thanks to Sinead and all at the Saint Francis Hospice in Havering for their great care of him in his final weeks. Fraser is hopefully now telling Ron Greenwood to play a few more forwards.

Let's hope 2025 is a better year for the Hammers — and at least we're (hopefully) not going down like Man United. Happy New Year!

The quality of Mersey is not restrained

West Ham 0 Liverpool 5

His name is Ludek Miklosko, he comes from near Moscow. There's a moving, if geographically incorrect, ovation for the former Hammers keeper before kick-off.On the day of the match it's been announced that Ludo has inoperable cancer and is making the best of his final years. Thanks for the memories, big man and we're with you all the way.

In the London Stadium there's Nigel in Christmas jumper, CQ, Gavin wearing his 1970s Admiral West Ham shirt and referees' friend Mystic Matt for the Twixmas 5.15 kick-off. With Soucek and Rodriguez suspended options are limited, but it's another strange formation from Lopetegui, with Wan-Bissaka at left back and Emerson seemingly playing left midfield.

The Hammers have an early chance as Kudus pounces on a Robertson mistake, Bowen crosses and Paqueta slips as he shoots, slicing his effort well wide. But it's all Liverpool after that. Gakpo dissects the West Ham defence to find Salah, who draws a great save from Areola. The keeper has to tip over Diaz's effort after Soler gives the ball away. It's soon apparent Wan-Bissaka is having a lot of trouble tracking the elusive Salah.

But it's goalless after half an hour which gives us some hope, at least until Mavropanos's clearance unluckily deflects off Coufal into the path of Diaz, who fires home. West Ham very nearly equalise when first Paqueta heads into the keeper's arms and then Kudus wins the ball, plays a give and go with Paqueta, and fires against the base of Alisson's post from 25 yards out.

SALAH DAZE

That moment is crucial as Liverpool immediately get a second. A long ball oven the WHU high-line sees Salah flick the ball through the Greek Bloke's legs with a magnificent bit of skill and set up Gakpo for a tap-in. We're saying that West Ham need to keep it down to two and regroup at half time. But on 44 minutes West Ham decide to play it out from the back. Soler gets tackled and Jones sets up Salah on the edge of the box. He scores with a low shot that Areola should save. As Matt points out, we too often concede goals in bunches. At 3-0 down Nigel breaks precedent and eats his not-so-lucky mandarin before half-time.

At the break the crowd are in a stunned stupor after this defensive disaster-class. But there's some better news as Gavin gives Nigel his copy of The Supporters Guide to Welsh Football Grounds 2006. Nigel is not in any way related to Uncle Bryn.

Loppy makes another formation change at half-time, taking off Coufal and moving Wan-Bissaka to right-back and Emerson to left back, bringing on Fullkrug and strangely benching Alvarez, leaving a central midfield of Paqueta and Soler against Liverpool's powerhouses. Within the first minute Salah is forcing another save from Areola. It's four when Alexander-Arnold is given the freedom of Stratford to fire home a long range effort that deflects off Kilman's head, wrong-footing the keeper. At least West Ham hit the bar at 4-0 down. Mystery man sub Andy Irvine curls in a lovely cross and Kudus heads against the woodwork. 

The fifth goal arrives when Fullkrug loses possession and Salah runs from his own half, gliding through challenges to set up Jota who curls home a quality finish. Bowen gets crocked by a late tackle to round off a dismal day. At least sub Luis Guilherme has a go and his shot from the edge of the box is deflected on to the outside of the post by Dick Van Dijk's heel. We're not going to score 'til a' the seas gang dry, as Robert Burns might say. There's been an alarming lack of fight and the fact there are no yellow cards for West Ham says a lot. Liverpool are a great side and surely Champions elect, but this was far too easy. 

Gavin suggests that we try the Cow, which proves as elusive as Mo Salah, and involves negotiating security barriers and the bowels of John Lewis and Westfield. At least there's Ghost Ship and Young's Winter Warmer to dull the pain. Nigel reveals that West Ham have not beaten a team in the top half this calendar year. More optimistic is the fact he's received an Angel Witch CD from Father Christmas. 

We reflect that the only real winners of this have been Lisa, who has at least put in more of a shift elsewhere than our lads, and Michael, absent possibly auditioning to replace Sigourney Weaver as Prospero in The Tempest.

West Ham have been hammered by Liverpool (twice), Arsenal, Chelsea and Spurs already, and Lopetegui's brief was to be at least giving these sides a game and he's currently a downgrade on David Moyes, while Tim Steidten also has to get some blame for misfiring signings. 

The changes of tactics are confusing, playing out from the back isn't working, the players look disheartened and there's an air of apathy about the crowd. Defeats at Man City and Aston Villa will surely spell the end of his reign. We've only played really well in a couple of games this season and that's not good enough. As the Stranglers might say, Something Better Change.

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Coufal 5 (Todibo 4), Mavropanos 4, Kilman 5, Wan-Bissaka 4; Alvarez 4 (Fullkrug 4), Paqueta 4, Soler 4 (Irving 5); Emerson 5; Bowen 6 (Summerville 5), Kudus 7 (Guilherme 6).

Oh what fun it is to see West Ham win away

Southampton 0 West Ham 1

It's a Boxing Day trip to the Saints for a difficult game against a bottom-of-the-table side with a new manager and nothing to lose. Although the game is on Prime I'm watching High Society with the in-laws at daughter Lola's gaff so have to make do with Match of the Day highlights. Though it's interesting to combine Louis Armstrong, Grace Kelly (no relation to David), Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra with BBC updates on my phone.

It could have been a lot easier after four minutes when Bowen finds Wan-Bissaka rampaging down the right wing. His cross finds Soler who fires against the bar when he should score. Kilman goes off injured early on and Todibo replaces him. Southampton are a lot more direct under new gaffer Juric and fire long balls towards the 6ft 7ins Onuachu.

Onuachu misses a gaping goal after good work from Walker-Peters and Fernandes forces a save from Fabianski as Southampton press. Fab then has to make a great save to claw away Onuachu's header. At the other end a good move started by Fullkrug sees Wan-Bissaka volley wide.

Fabianski has to go off on a stretcher after 36 minutes following a worrying clash of heads at a corner. Areola comes on and does well, immediately saving another header from Onuachu. Soler is the next injury, being replaced by Alvarez at half-time.

At the start of the second half a red card for Fernandez is overturned for a yellow — the correct decision as he played the ball even if the tackle was slightly out of control, The decisive goal arrives after a corner is cleared and from the following cross Soucek heads across the six-yard box. Niclas Fullkrug gets a crucial head to the ball and Jarrod Bowen shows great reactions to prod home a poacher's goal. It will do Fullkrug good to claim an assist.

The rest of the game sees Kudus hit the side netting, Fernandes shoot wide and Dibling fire over as Southampton try to equalise, but the Hammers defence remains resolute despite a nervy nine minutes of added time. 

It was according to Mystic Matt on WhatsApp "a painful watch against a team certain to be relegated", but considering the suspension of Paqueta and the injuries to Kilman, Fabianski and Soler, plus the fact the Hammers were facing a side with a new manager, this was still a decent result. It was hard-earned but the players had to show some character to grind out a result. 

Four games unbeaten is Lopetegui's best run as West Ham manager. A more realistic assessment of the side's progress will come against Liverpool on Sunday, when Soucek and Fernandez will be suspended. But 23 points is now looking a half-decent total from which the Irons can now start looking upwards. 

West Ham is occurrin'

It was surely peak West Ham on Gavin and Stacey when Smithy's stag do saw the entire male cast dress in West Ham shirts from different eras, including the 1964 Cup Final, Dagenham Motors and Dr Martens kits. Uncle Bryn even purchased the entire Hammers kit and might be worth considering as a new signing. He could distract opposition full-backs by discussing the merits of the iPod Nano and asking them on fishing trips. Spoiler alert: Sonia  would surely have banned Smithy from visiting the London Stadium, though you suspect that married to Nessa, who presumably supports Barry Town FC, his West Ham love would flourish. Tidy.

This was the best reference to the Hammers on TV since that bloke in White Lotus sang Bubbles and Donna Noble in Doctor Who said she learned to whistle "up West Ham". Come on you TV Irons!

Drawing drawing west Ham

West Ham 1 Brighton 1

It's to the Best Meze Cafe for festive egg, chips and beans, and to meet Nigel in West Ham Christmas jumper and Matt in yellow hoodie — he must still be looking for the right Dinos Mavropanos replica shirt. 

Nigel has been to see some bloke called Paul McCartney and Matt asks if his back catalogue is any good. Matt has returned from Spain where Lisa has insisted he watch tippy-tappy football at Bilbao, Real Sociedad and some Sunday League team on Astroturf. He's now completely relaxed after his break and prepared to back referees at all times. I've returned from a mini-break in Cheltenham and a tour of Gustav Holst's gaff, hoping that West Ham are not suitable material for Holst's Christmas carol In the Bleak Midwinter.

We head to the London Stadium to meet Michael, clad in an almost Christmas West Ham jumper and declaring that West Ham is humbug, plus Gavin, wearing a Kraftwerk t-shirt in an attempt to make Niclas Fullkrug feel he's on the Autobahn to Wembley. On the pitch the club puts on a moving tribute to 15-year-old keeper Oscar Fairs with a minute's applause for the Hammer taken far too young. With the death of Lopetegui's father and Antonio's car crash it's been a sad month for WHU.

Then the football starts and not much happens in the first half. Bowen beats Estupinan for speed and shoots against Verbruggen's legs, while Fabianski reacts smartly to save from Mitoma's volley. Bowen then has a shot across goal deflected just wide by Dunk. But it's a scrappy game with passes going astray on all sides and Fullkrug not getting much service up front and never really getting into the game. He clearly needs more game time after three months out.The ref and linos makes some odd decisions and Matt's Zen-like calm lasts all of 20 minutes.

At half time our routine is disrupted by the revelation that Nigel has had problems sourcing his lucky banana and has instead arrived with a lucky satsuma, possibly signed from Sevilla. Today oranges really are the only fruit.

West Ham start the second half slowly and Brighton take the lead after 51 minutes. Estupinan's cross sees Fabianski all alone challenging Dunk and the Brighton man's knock back is stroked home by Wieffer. Crucially we insist that Nigel now eats his lucky satsuma. Loppy takes off Fullkrug for Summerville and moves Bowen down the middle. 

SITTING DOWN ON THE JOB

A minute later West Ham equalise. Soucek plays a first-time ball though to Bowen who runs at his two defenders, fires a shot which Verbruggen parries and as the ball arcs up into the air Mo Kudus does really well to react and head home. Mo then grabs a hand-carved Ghanian wooden stool for his sit-down celebration. Was this the elephant in the room?

West Ham have a good spell as Summerville makes a fine run into the area only to shoot against a defender's legs and Alvarez has a shot that extends Verbruggen. But Brighton should really win it at the end. Loppy makes the rather strange decision to move to a back five with young Ollie Scarles at left back. He's exposed a bit by Minteh, who gets through to shoot across goal towards Mitoma who hits the post.

Nigel channels his inner Sam Allardyce, urging WHU to respect the point against out bogey team. Estupinan is lucky to stay on the pitch for an over-the-top lunge on Kilman, while another fluid Brighton move sees Ferguson set up Ayari, whose shot is well-saved by Fabianski. At the end of added time Wan-Bissaka has to make a brave clearing header from under the bar to keep it 1-1.

So it's a point each and to be positive the Hammers are unbeaten for three matches, though the side still seems to lack identity and the build-up is far too slow. We trudge off to the Eagle where Sinead is planning a trip to Ireland and has Fraser's Christmas jumper for Matt, plus bottles of IPA, Corona and Guinness. Jesus and Gabriel have scored for Arsenal on the TV. Nigel starts to reminisce about Nazareth hits and Matt is strangely moved by Michael's news that Mike Nolan of Bucks Fizz is playing panto in Braintree. More drinks, please.

So it's a team at the bottom of the league with a new manager coming up on Boxing Day. What could possibly go wrong? Merry Christmas one and all!

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Wan-Bissaka 7, Kilman 7, Mavropanos 6 (Todibo 6), Emerson 5 (Coufal 6);  Soucek 6, Alvarez 5 (Rodriguez n/a), Paqueta 5 (Scarles 5); Bowen 7, Kudus 7, Fullkrug 5 (Summerville 6).

Unal free kick denies Hammers all three points

Bournemouth 1 West Ham 1

West Ham are playing for the third Monday in a row so it's sitting in front of Sky for the trip to the Vitality Stadium. There's no Todibo in the squad and Emerson is suspended so Coufal comes in at right-back, while Summerville is once again on the bench. Jarrod Bowen is playing as the main striker in the absence of Antonio.

The ninth minute sees another round of applause for Antonio, with the home fans joining in. Early on there's a warning as the dangerous Semenyo gets through on the right to shave the post. But West Ham have the better of the first half as Alvarez and Soler start to control midfield. Coufal has a nosebleed when a shooting chance arrives and blazes wide. Kudus' fine burst from his own half finds Bowen, who cleverly stops in front of the retreating defenders and chips a shot on to the angle of post and bar. Soler shoots narrowly wide and Bowen does well to turn and power in a shot that is parried by Kepa.

Before the break the Cherries have a great chance as Semenyo's shot is deflected to Quattara, who is foiled by a great save with his feet from Fabianski. But it's been a reasonably good first half against an in-form side and for once the defence is looking solid, with Kilman doing well.

The second half sees Bournemouth step it up and pepper the West Ham goal. Fabianski has to make a great save to tip over Evanilson's header from a corner. The 39-year-old keeper also has to parry stinging shots from Billing and Christie as the ball pinballs in the box. At the other end only a great tackle prevents Kudus from scoring.

Loppy brings on Fullkrug, Summerville and Ollie Scarles. With 85 minutes on the clock Wan-Bissaka picks up a loose ball on the right and makes a determined dash for the line, chipping in a fine cross that Fullkrug heads straight at Kepa. The big German got plenty of power in the header but couldn't direct it.

Then VAR intervenes. Wan-Bissaka's cross has brushed the hand of Tyler Adams and it's a penalty. This is technically correct, though it's the sort of pedantic soft penalty that is only picked up since the advent of VAR. Lucas Paqueta remains as cool as the Fonz and rolls the spot kick home with Kepa diving the wrong way. Paqueta runs over to embrace Lopetegui in response to reports that he wants to return to Brazil.

All West Ham have to do is defend solidly and not do anything silly. But we've reckoned without a rash challenge from Dinos Mavropanos who kicks through the back of a Bournemouth player. Still, what could possibly go wrong against a side that hasn't scored a direct free kick since 2019? Almost inevitably sub Unal curls a sumptuous free kick into the top corner.

My West Ham WhatsApp group is not happy with Dinos, with The Gav calling it a "clumsy unnecessary foul", Big Sam saying that he is "always a mistake waiting to happen" and the Vicar's Son wanting to excommunicate Konstantinos. A shame, as he'd had a decent game up to that moment. Dinos really needs coaching help with his decision-making.

There's a nervous eight minutes of added time to endure as the home crowd sense a winner. It's good to see young Casey get three minutes of action and thankfully the Irons hold on to the point. 

Still, a draw was probably a fair result and it was good to see the indefatigable Vladimir Coufal get in a solid 90 minutes. WHU have got a point away to the side that is currently sixth. We're unbeaten in two games, which is pretty good for this season. If West Ham can now get results against Brighton and Southampton then we'd be on a nice run. Irons!

Namaste, Geezer

Enjoyed reading Namaste, Geezer by West Ham fan Shekhar Bhatia, an account of "life as a fan and journalist of Asian heritage." Bhatia grew up in Leyton and loved West Ham from an early age, though he had to brave National Front paper sellers and racism in the bad old days at 1970s and 1980s Upton Park. Often the fans he was running from were his own. 

We learn of his love of reading the football writers in his dad's Daily Telegraph and a spell on the Newham Recorder leading to jobs at several national newspapers. Racism is never far away though and attending a Hammers' game at Port Vale with his ex-wife Meera Syal, he has to report a home fan making monkey gestures at George Parris to the police, who thankfully act. 

There's a moving final chapter on Prague, where Shekhar has to try and look professional in the press box while holding back tears as West Ham win their first trophy in 43 years. And then he runs into the Hammers squad at his hotel and gets to sing "Jarrod Bowen's on fire!" with his heroes. Good work, geezer.

Bowen wins it for Antonio

West Ham 2 Wolves 1

Matt and Lisa are away watching tippy-tappy Basque football rather than El Sackico, so it's down to the diehards of Nigel and CQ, Michael the Whovian, The Gav and Big Sam, who has braved Welsh floods and hurricanes to be here.

The players warm up in Antonio tops which is a nice touch and in the ninth minute there's a minute's applause for the injured striker. Early on Gomes pokes wide from a dangerous cross from Doherty, while Bowen and Soler strike the legs of Johnston and Ait-Nouri with good chances. 

Michael, fresh from impersonating Dave the Barman from the Winchester Club, spends much of the first half in existential despair at the quality of play, while CQ hands round the sweets. Due to the cold and possible indifference to Lopetegui's fate the crowd seems strangely sedate.

The other big news is that Sam has been given a copy of Massive for Christmas from his workmates, a book he features in. At half-time desperate measures are required and both Nigel and CQ eat lucky bananas. It works as Soucek finally breaks the deadlock with a looping header from a corner. Strangely Wolves don't have anyone on the post. Tomas runs to the camera and shouts a gruff tribute to Micky. 

A neat move sees Bowen cross for Kudus to net, but Mo has moved beyond his defender a fraction too soon and is ruled offside. Then Wolves have a great shout for a penalty denied by VAR as Emerson pushes Gomes in the back. We were lucky to get away with that one. But it is 1-1 when Ait-Nouri crosses for Doherty to strike home a fine first-time finish.

Three minutes later though Jarrod saves WHU. After a free kick is cleared he's found by Kudus, he cuts inside one man and fires a typical left foot shot into the corner. He celebrates by picking up an Antonio shirt. Wolves claim that the Greek Bloke fouled in the build-up though it looks more like as simple collision. 

There's still time for another Kudus effort to be correctly disallowed and another VAR penalty appeal for Wolves to be turned down. Bowen makes a great run down the right only to pull his cross back behind Ings. We survive eight minutes of added time to buy Loppy more time in charge. Lemina has a go at Bowen after the final whistle and there's a bit of a melee. 

A great win for Antonio, who has spoken to the squad via video before the match. While you've got to feel a bit sorry for Gary O'Neil who is a decent manager working with limited resources.

Michael has to dance in the streets of Stratford alone, as Big Sam has to pick up his motor in Didcot, Nigel and CQ have an 8am gym appointment and I'm preparing for a wedding anniversary mini-break. Matt and Lisa would be dancing in the streets of Bilbao if it wasn't so cold. Loppy now has to try to win the hearts of the West Ham fans and build on this, though Bournemouth away is another tough fixture. Still, at least we won, 22 more points and we're safe. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Wan-Bissaka 7, Kilman 7, Mavropanos 6, Emerson 6 (Cresswell n/a); Soler 6 (Paqueta 5), Alvarez 6 (Todibo n/a), Soucek 7; Summerville 6 (Ings 6), Kudus 6 (Rodriguez n/a), Bowen 8. 

Thinking of Micky

Every West Ham will be hoping Michail Antonio recovers fully after his horrific car crash in Theydon Bois. He's stable but in a serious condition in hospital and has had surgery for a "lower limb fracture". He was trapped in his car for 40 minutes and had to be cut out by the emergency services. Antonio will be 35 next March and it's going to be a long road back to fitness. He has been a fixture at West Ham since the days of Slaven Bilic and has always played with the enthusiasm of someone who's come up from non-league football. As a lone striker he was sometimes unstoppable and an integral part of the Moyes years. Despite mental health problems in his later years he's always seemed to play with a smile on his face and we all loved those goal celebrations such as stroking the London Stadium carpet and wielding a cardboard cutout of himself against Leicester. Get well soon, Micky.

It's El Sackico on Monday night

It seems that Julen Lopetegui has been backed in the morning and is in charge for the Wolves match, though it's now seen as a must-win game. That's probably the right decision, as sacking him now would have left West Ham with a caretaker in charge for a vital match. Loppy has another game to offer the fans some glimpse of hope, but what's worrying is that so far he doesn't know his best team and there isn't a convincing system. Even in the early days of Moyes you could see progress being made and the side becoming more solid despite initially poor results.

The high backline really isn't working with Kilman, Todibo and Mavropanos slow on the turn and it would be nice to have full backs who stayed in their position. Pep might have played inverted full-backs but it doesn't work at WHU. Wan-Bissaka is one of the best tacklers in the Premier League but seems to be playing anywhere but right-back, while the midfield lacks legs, though Soler looks like he might provide more dynamism. 

Meanwhile Arsenal are scoring numerous goals from set-pieces yet Loppy has loaned out Ward-Prowse one of the best corner-takers in football and we've only scored once from a set-piece. The other dilemma is how to get the best out of a forward line featuring Bowen, Kudus, Summerville and Fullkrug.

The Wolves game is vital but just as important will be the following games against Bournemouth,  Brighton and Southampton. If Lopetegui can't offer a road map towards better times then he'll surely be gone by Christmas.

Ruud awakening for Lopetegui and wasteful Irons

Leicester City 3 West Ham 1

It's the worst possible start watching this on Amazon Prime. Lopetegui has rotated Emerson, Paqueta and Antonio and opted for a workmanlike side, though again Summerville is on the bench. Meanwhile the Leicester crowd are up for it in Ruud Van Nistelrooy's first game in charge.

Two minutes in and Jamie Vardy races behind Mavropanos to sidefoot home a fine finish. The ref gives offside, but VAR reveals that Albert Steptoe is just onside thanks to Dinos's foot. It's no secret that Vardy plays on the shoulder of defenders and Dinos really should have been more alert. Matt WhatsApps that Mavropanos is West Ham's worst ever defender, which is a bit unfair on Gary Breen and co. Dinos does have potential, but he really has to improve his concentration.

Vardy forces a low save from Fabianski but for the rest of the half West Ham dominate. Bowen has a curling shot saved by Hermansen. Bowen crosses for Danny Ings to head against the post. Jarrod then fires against the keeper's legs. Kudus looks forceful on his return and his fine cross is headed wide by Tomaas Soucek - the sort of chance he normally scores with.

It looks like one of those games where we'll do everything but score. Ings fails to gamble on an inviting cross. Hermansen makes his best save, deflecting Bowen's instinctive flock from Alvarez's cross. Soler volleys narrowly wide after a corner. While just before the interval Hermansen spills Ings' mishit and Soler has another effort parried. West Ham have 20 shots in the first half.

Summerville replaces Ings at the break, as the Hammers continue to press. Kudus has a deflected shot tipped over by the keeper. What seems a  good equaliser is disallowed as Hermansen fumbles Summerville's deflected effort under minimal pressure from Soucek. Tomas really didn't do anything wrong there.

But on 61 minutes it's 2-0. McAteer is afforded too much space on the left, and he finds El Khannouss who hasn't been marked tightly enough and scores with a low effort into the corner. 

Fabianski has to make a great stop from Ndidi's header to prevent a third. Emerson, Antonio and Paqueta have come on. There's almost a West Ham lifeline as after good work from Wan-Bissaka and Bowen, Summerville's shot is cleared from halfway over the line by Coady. 

SACKED IN THE MORNING?

The Hammers still look very vulnerable to the break. De-Cordova Reid has a goal disallowed for a marginal offside. But on 90 minutes Daka flicks the ball away from the disappointing Kilman on the halfway line, races towards goal and fires in a left foot rocket at Fabianski's near-post. The lack of cover is worrying and Wan-Bissaka is again too far upfield. 

The centre fails to hold, things fall apart. "Sacked in the morning!" chant the West Ham fans. Things are so bad I'm starting to wonder if we could get Kurt Zouma and his dodgy knees back from his loan in the UAE.

At least the side keep going and in the 93d minute Bowen's corner is flicked on by Summerville for sub Fullkrug to head home. That's the only good thing to come out of the evening, and you hope Niclas is now back, fit and ready to start a run of goals.

West Ham have been unlucky and had an astonishing 31 shots only to get mugged at the back and lose 3-1. But sometimes you have to make your own luck. While I'm never one for sacking managers too quickly this is feeling like the wrong manager at the wrong club. In Lopetegui's 16 games we've only played well in three, Crystal Palace, Ipswich and Newcastle. 

Many fans would take Potter, either Graham or Harry. Loppy's system isn't working and his verbose post-match interviews suggest he might have trouble communicating his ideas to the players. It's not good enough from Steidten either, and with £100m net spent on ten players results have to be better. Wolves is now a six-pointer and we have to win, whether Lopetegui stays or not.

Another difficult away draw

That Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's gaff in Kew Gardens is looking increasingly unlikely. Aston Villa away is another difficult tie, though there's some faint hope that Villa might be distracted by the Champions League. The Irons don't seem to have had much luck in domestic cup draws. OK, Bristol City at home in the FA Cup last season wasn't bad, though we still managed to lose after a replay, but we've also drawn Liverpool away two seasons running in the Carabao Cup, losing both games 5-1. In season 2022-23 we drew Man United away in the FA Cup and lost 3-1. While in 2021-22 we drew both Man United away and Man City at home in the Carabao Cup and beat them both only to then lose 2-1 away to Spurs. And in 2020-21 we went out of the FA Cup after being drawn away to Man United and losing 1-0. Mind you, we also struggled to beat Kidderminster away in the FA Cup two seasons ago. Infamy, infamy, they've all got it infamy.

Pantomime season starts early as Arsenal score five

West Ham 2 Arsenal 5

Before the match there's a trip to the Colour Factory at Hackney Wick with DC and Danny to see Liam Brady interviewed by Martin Allen at a West Ham Way event. 

Brady reminisces about how he liked working with John Lyall, but not the running sessions of Lou Macari, the time Jack Charlton called him Ian Brady, how Stuart Slater was too shy for the goldfish bowl of Celtic when Liam managed there and the time Julian Dicks ripped up the senior pros' pack of cards on the team coach. Mad Dog Martin Allen makes a good compere, questioning like he played with a lot of no-nonsense expletives and then auctioning a signed Trevor Brooking shirt for £250. It's also good to meet Ulf from the Swedish Hammers podcast who ends up with the Brooking shirt, while DC comes away with a folder full of signed Brady pictures.

In the London Stadium Michael is attending his second pantomime of the day having already seen Pinocchio at the Theatre Royal Stratford, while Matt and Lisa have been to the dump with a carpet and are looking forward to seeing another load of old rubbish. Nigel makes up our number.

The early pattern sees Arsenal dominate through Odegaard and Saka with West Ham penned back. We don't want to be giving them corners. But on ten minutes Gabriel loses the blocked-off Antonio, Kilman isn't alert enough and Gabriel heads home a soft set-piece goal. It should have been disallowed for a push on Paqueta, but even so it's very poor defending and surely Antonio shouldn't be on Gabriel.

Summerville nets with a nice lob over the keeper but is correctly ruled offside. The second Arsenal goal arrives when Odegaard flicks a great pass through to Saka. Neither full-back has gone with their man and Saka crosses for Trossard to tap home. Number three comes when Paqueta dangles a leg and Saka goes over it very easily. Odegaard dispatches the penalty. 

He's behind you! After 35 minutes Paqueta loses possession, Trossard plays a long ball over the defence, Kilman slices horribly and misses the ball, leaving Havertz to run through and calmly slot home. 

Just as we're anticipating another 6-0 defeat West Ham come to life. Soler plays a great through ball and Wan-Bissaka has space to poke home. After not scoring in four years that's two in two for Aaron. Two minutes later the Irons win a free kick on the edge of the box and Emerson scores with a beauty. 

KICKED UP THE ARSENAL

Can we pull off a famous comeback? Erm, no. In added time Arsenal win another corner. Fabianski punches it clear but has also caught Gabriel with his fist. Goalkeepers often get the benefit of the doubt on those, but ref Anthony Taylor points to the spot and Saka scores.

The second half sees a punch-drunk home crowd deciding that things can't get any worse and resorting to some proper supporting, singing "West Ham are Massive!" and "We are West Ham's Claret and Blue Army!" Antonio drags a shot narrowly wide as Arsenal ease off, while sub Alvarez improves things a bit in midfield. When sub Danny Ings drags a shot across goal from the sort of chance he used to bury it's too much for Matt who resorts to some ungodly invective, as Lisa quietly books a trip to a wellness clinic in San Sebastian. 

Mercifully it ends at 5-2 and bizarrely we've scored the best goals of the game.Though as Nigel points out in five halves out of six we haven't conceded and we drew the second half. A job doing West Ham's PR awaits.

At the Eagle Nigel is in iconoclastic mood, first declaring that Ever Fallen In Love by the Buzzcocks is a disappointing record, much to the horror of Matt and myself, and then that Psycho Killer by Talking Heads is a pretentious song and David Byrne can't sing. Which leads us to Bob Dylan, who couldn't sing either, but didn't do badly. 

Matt and Nigel then become animated about the fact that at Chester FC a corner could be taken in England into a penalty box that is in Wales. Michael says that he's missed ex-Pistol Glen Matlock to come to the game tonight and perhaps wishes he had never minded the bollocks at the London Stadium. 

Sky's advert for a documentary on darts called Game of Throws has us wondering if today's match was was a Game of Moans or a Game of Groans. All of which is better than watching Jamie Redknapp and Theo Walcott dissecting our defensive errors on Sky.

This has certainly deflated all the optimism of Monday night and we can't carry on defending like this. As Matt points out, Lopetegui built his reputation on defending but can't organise our back line. The next few games in December will decide if Loppy stays, but Steidten also has questions to answer. Arsenal played like Champions elect but we should at least be making them score good goals and giving them a game. Leicester away on Tuesday needs to see a big improvement.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 5; Wan-Bissaka 7, Kilman 4, Todibo 5, Emerson 7 (Coufal 6); Soler 6 (Irving), Paqueta 4 (Rodriguez), Soucek 4; Summerville 5 (Alvarez 6), Bowen 6, Antonio 5 (Ings 4).