Ings can only get better!

West Ham 2 Burnley 2

"The rain it falleth every day," as the Great Bard of Stratford might say, but that's enough about Michael the Playwright. Hackney Wick is very wet indeed and it's poor conditions for football as West Ham play a sodden bad first half against struggling Burnley. I'm joined in the stadium by Nigel, CQ, Michael and Lisa, while Matt and Fraser are under the scoreboard near the away fans ready to launch a pitch invasion should we lose 3-0 at home to Burnley.

The Clarets take the lead after 11 minutes. The lively Fofana gets a ricochet off Aguerd, glides past Phillips and fires home a stunning long-range effort into the top corner. West Ham look strangely jaded after their European trip and toil without much intensity. We don't test Trafford at all and in added time Josh Cullen's cross is prodded over his own line by a stretching Mavropanos. "How shit must you be we're winning away?" chant the small contingent of away fans as the home side are booed off. 

At half time we're joined by The Gav and his joint Hammers and Orient season-ticket holding pal Mike. After some debate we elect to unleash the power of Nigel's lucky banana by getting him to eat it in the concourse. 

Moyes also takes decisive action, taking off the toiling Phillips and Ward-Prowse and bringing on Antonio and Alvarez. The improvement is immediate. Thirty seconds into the half Paqueta gets past a challenge from Assignon and ruins at goal to calmly slot past Trafford. Game on and the crowd at last get going.  

Suddenly West Ham play with passion and Antonio provides a focal point in attack. From Cresswell's corner Bowen's goalbound shot is blocked by Paqueta's body. Kudus does well to cut inside only to slip and fire over a gaping goal. Coufal's cross is deflected on to the Burnley bar. We predict that it's going to be one of those games where we'll do everything but score. 

Michael sagely suggests that when we're dominating possession it might be an idea to bring on a predator like Danny Ings. Moyes then decides to throw the metaphorical kitchen sink at Burnley, bringing on Ings in the 82nd minute. 

"Ings can only get wetter," suggests Nigel as the rain continues to fall. Antonio wins a header and Ings prods home, only to be denied by VAR. The lines are ridiculously tight and it seems to be guesswork that Antonio is offside by a shoulder.

It's a cracking half of football with four strikers on the pitch, surely providing the chaotic entertainment the Moyes Out fans have been demanding. Trafford winds up the crowd by time wasting at every goal kick and Lisa pleads "No, Pacqsy!" as Lucas is booked for retaliation after another heavy tackle from Burnley. 

OH DANNY BOY

We move into eight minutes of added time. West Ham have played like a different team in the second half. Just as I'm wondering why do we put ourselves through this, Ings controls with his back to goal and spins to score a fine poacher's goal and his first of the season. 

Berge then fires just over for Burnley. Antonio rolls the ball across the box but no-one can prod it home. Blimey. Danny Ings, who looks rejuvenated, fires another great effort against the bar.

With a minute or so left Berge's arms are raised and he heads the ball against his hands. Bizarrely neither the ref or VAR give a penalty for the second time in three days. There's still time for Burnley to almost snatch the points as Areola parries Fofana's cross and then has to dive to deny Brownhill, before the whistle finally goes. 

Hard to know what to make of this, a poor first half followed by a great second half. On another day WHU could have won this 5-3 and Danny Ings could have scored a hat-trick.

Gavin heads off to buy a West Ham T Rex for Lizzie from the club shop, as she wasn't happy with the last game's triceratops. We march through the downpour to the Eagle, where we're joined by Fraser and Matt. Nigel and CQ have a Cuban cigar for Fraser and we learn that Nigel and Gavin are soon to see Judas Priest. While Michael has been hanging out with Bananarama at HMV, which is really saying something. Sinead keeps us stocked with East London Pale Ale as Liverpool and Man City draw on the box. A disappointing result for the Irons, but you can't argue with the entertainment value. Now we need the side that played in the second half to turn up against Freiburg.

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 7; Coufal 6, Mavropanos 5, Aguerd 5, Cresswell 6; Phillips 4 (Alvarez 6) (Ings 9), Soucek 6, Ward-Prowse 5 (Antonio 7), Paqueta 7; Bowen 6, Kudus 7.