Torn apart by Seagulls

Brighton 4 West Ham 0

Up against a team that we've failed to beat in 11 Premier League games - what could possibly go wrong? Signal failures at Selhurst suggest it's not going to a good day as Big Joe and myself set out on the delayed train to Lewes, a cunning plan to beat the crowd on the way to the Amex. 

In Lewes we have a decent lunch in a chic cafe, which proves to be the best part of the day,  before boarding the local train to Falmer, which is again delayed. Somehow we make it into the away end just in time for kick-off. Brighton's ground is a long way out of town and is surrounded by green downs.

Early on March waltzes through the WHU defence to test Areola and it looks ominous. West Ham hold out for 18 minutes before Johnson gets under a ball he should head away. The speedy Mitoma is on it instantly and Bowen brings him down with a foolish push in the back when he still had Aguerd to beat. World Cup winner Mac Allister dispatches the penalty.

West Ham nearly equalise as Benrahma's run is halted by Estupinan and the ball rebounds nicely for Bowen who rounds Webster but shoots against the legs of Steele. But Brighton continue to dominate with everything going though the impressive Caicedo in midfield.

A chant of "Oh Said Benrama!" goes up from the away fans when Benrahma is predictably hooked by Moyes at half time, followed by, "You don't know what you're doing!" Said had at least been involved in setting up the chance for Bowen before the break. The mood turns more mutinous as Brighton win a corner. Mac Allister flicks it on and Veltman is completely unmarked in the box to chest home a ridiculously easy goal. Ben Johnson has lost his man again and Areola hasn't organised his defence to mark the free man.

CAN WE HAVE THE BALL PLEASE?

We just can't get the ball off Brighton and Soucek and co look like rigid table footballers. Rice and Soucek are both booked for late tackles born of frustration. Soon it's 3-0 as the desperate Rice goes too far upfield to chase the ball, Brighton ping it around and March finds Gross, who crosses for Mitoma to score having got beyond a daydreaming Johnson. Poor Ben is probably still wandering around the green fields of Falmer trying to track Mitoma.

"You're getting sacked in the morning!" goes up from the West Ham fans. "F**king useless c***s!" is one of the more considered verdicts. Then "How shit must you be, it's only 3-0!" On the rare occasions West Ham gain possession chants go up of, "We've got the ball!" The Seagulls fans start to give their side "oles" with every pass.

Areola makes a fantastic save to tip Enciso's shot on to the bar. Zouma comes on for the injured Ogbonna, to a chorus of boos. Danny Welbeck also arrives and Joe and myself know what comes next. He's given far too much space on the edge of the box and fires into the bottom corner. Not sure that Areola should have been beaten from the edge of the box, but he had no protection and has made a number of good saves to keep the score down.

"Can we play you every week?" chant the home fans. The seats are empty around us, and Joe and myself reflect that the younger fans haven't sat though 6-0 defeats at Oldham and Goodison Park like we have. We're later captured by the Match of the Day cameras among the few remaining diehards.

Well, that went well. We join the queue for the train to Lewes and at least the London train from there isn't too crowded. Joe reflects that there are so many London teams in the PL one normally goes down and it might just be us. 

It's important to remember that we played well against Forest last week. But this was a terrible performance where no-one won their one-versus-one battles and Brighton, who played really well, were made to look like Real Madrid. Can Moyes sort this out? The players owe us a big performance against Aston Villa.

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Johnson 3, Aguerd 5, Ogbonna 5 (Zouma 5), Emerson 4; Rice 5, Soucek 4 (Downes 4), Paqueta 4 (Lanzini 5), Benrahma 5 (Fornals 4); Bowen 5, Ings 5.