United held in London Stadium stalemate

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West Ham 0 Manchester United 0

It makes a change to be at a game where we don’t have to worry. There are gaps in the seats in the Betway Stand and it seems that with the Hammers safe some fans have opted to stay at home. It’s two years since the last game at the Boleyn and Matt and myself are wondering if we can get compensation for extraordinary rendition to Stratford followed by two years of torture. We’re joined by my daughter Lola, a tardy Nigel, Michael and Fraser (who luckily hasn’t read Moyes’ comments in the Standard about being overloaded with strikers) and Scott and Nicola, with Alison away suffering from the survival bends and Steve having gone postal in Cornwall.

It actually turns out to be an entertaining goalless draw with the pressure off. Arnautovic looks to have the beating of Smalling and gets an early shot away. Adrian has to make a springing save to palm away Lingard’s shot. Valencia is proving too fast for Masuaku on the left and from his cross Adrian has to make another good save from Sanchez before deflecting Shaw’s shot on to the post with his leg. West Ham’s best effort is when Arnie dribbles down the right and crosses for Mario to flick wide.

At half-time Nigel has a nugget about this being the first time since nineteen sixty something that a south coast side finishing in the top half of the table hasn’t been either Southampton or Portsmouth. Matt, fresh from a trip to watch hipster side Dulwich Hamlet, has an even more interesting piece of trivia about Boreham Wood FC actually being from the differently-spelt Borehamwood.

The second half half sees Lingard have a swerving shot well-saved by Adrian. A positively demob-happy Moyes makes a substitution as early as the 65^th minute when he brings on Andy Carroll, though he annoys Fraser by taking off Masuaku who can at least cross, but to be fair Arthur has been disappointing tonight. Lola starts to appreciate the aesthetics and says it’s the best goalless draw she’s seen. Carroll and Arnie almost link up in the box but it’s cleared. The crowd also generates a decent amount of noise, perhaps inspired by the memories of Upton Park. Declan Rice has a fine game and is cheered for one mighty tackle on Sanchez. Towards the end there’s a flare up after a foul by Pogba, with Nobes a little lucky to stay on after raising his hands to Pogba’s face.

So it’s a decent point against the PL runners-up and an improved performance after the Man City game. We retreat to the Railway for pints of Doom Bar and a quick reminisce about the “Big Fat Sam went to Spain in his Ford Fiesta” song. Bring on Big Fat Sam and Everton on Saturday and then it’s all over.

PLAYER RATINGS: Adrian 8; Zabaleta 7, Ogbonna 6, Rice 7, Cresswell 6, Masuaku 5 (Carroll 5); Kouyate 6, Noble 6, Lanzini 6, Mario 7; Arnautovic 7.