Lanzini and Arnie see off Everton

West Ham 3 Everton 1

It’s in to Ken’s Café for old time’s sake with Michael, Lisa and Nigel, where we are greeted by the much-missed Carol and don’t have to take a numbered ticket. The stadium is now a mass of Barrett bunkers, but in Ken’s  the egg, chips and beans is as good as ever and Michael’s big breakfast arrives disturbingly early. No-one does mushrooms like Ken we learn, as a replenished Michael then dons his Spector shirt to become the Spector at our end of season feast. Last time he wore that shirt we lost a stadium.

We take a gentle bus ride to Stratford and walk to the London Stadium to join Fraser, Alison and Steve. The Irons play well in the first half, again looking more relaxed with safety assured. Mario fires just wide of the post and Pickford makes a great save when Noble looks certain to score. 

Masuaku is clogged and has to go off, with Moyes replacing him with Fernandes rather than a striker, although to be fair Edmilson has a workmanlike game. West Ham take the lead when Arnautovic inadvertently dummies and Lanzini gets behind the Everton defence to finish well.

We’re joined by a tardy Matt at half time, sporting a black shirt with a Union Jack on it, which is the old Thames Ironworks kit. The second half kicks off and just as Mystic Michael is saying that Arnautovic is looking off the pace, Arnie powers through the Everton defence to fire a thunderous effort past Pickford. The keeper should have done better, and Arnie seems to enjoy it as in the first half he’s been apparently kicked in the goolies by the Everton custodian, with the referee taking no action.

The Hammers have several chances for a third. Arnie has a header ruled out for offside, but suddenly Everton are back in it as Adrian makes a sensational save and then Niasse pokes home after defensive hesitancy. Zabalata of all people makes several bursts into the box in search of the elusive third. The game is sealed when Lanzini chips a sumptuous shot over Pickford. There’s still time for Ginger Pele to come on and get a rousing reception on what might be his final Hammers appearance. The Everton fans seem to want Big Sam sacked in the morning, while Fraser is ken to wave goodbye to David Moyes

We stay for the lap of honour as for some reason Sweet Caroline plays on the PA and then Heroes, which is stretching it a little for surviving a relegation fight, though we have finished a respectable-sounding 13^th. Strangely there’s no sign of Sully or Lady Brady on the pitch.

Joined by Gavin and Ilona we take a marathon-like short cut to the Railway past the giant bell and along Champions Avenue, eventually reaching the Railway, where the service has reached Central-like levels of delay. 

So in a dramatic bid for colour for the blog we retreat to the Cart and Horses, where Iron Maiden played one of their first gigs. The pub doesn’t make too much of the Iron Maiden connection apart from the huge picture of Maiden on the stage, Run for The Hills on the PA and 57 signs around the bar. But it’s a decent boozer and Gavin and Nigel discuss Diamond Head and the geographical origins of British heavy metal bands. Could we finally have found a decent pub after two years of searching in Stratford?

It’s been a long day and an even longer season. But it’s now over and with Arnie, Lanzini and Mario playing well today we just might have glimpsed a slightly better future, if only the board will invest. Have a good summer all Hammers fans. It's been emotional.

PLAYER RATINGS: Adrian 8; Zabaleta 7, Ogbonna 6, Rice 7, Cresswell 6, Masuaku n/a (Fernandes 6); Kouyate 6, Noble 7, Lanzini 8 (Collins n/a), Mario 7; Arnautovic 8.