Wednesday, August 8

Hardyesque Hammers

Just been staying with friends in Somerton in Somerset, the old capital of ancient Wessex, while reading The Woodlanders by Thomas Hardy. Being in Hardy Country it’s tempting to wonder how many of West Ham's current squad might make characters in his novels. So far I’ve come up with:

Mark Noble: Stoic shepherd whose constancy finally wins over Bathsheba.
James Collins: Proud owner of a cider press in Little Hintock.
Ricardo Vaz Te: Continental army officer out to seduce country maidens from Budmouth.
Guy Demel: Aristocratic gambler and rake.
Ravel Morrison: Young man who dreams of becoming a scholar at Oxford.
Gary O’Neil and Joey O’Brien: Horse dealers at Casterbridge market.
Carlton Cole and Nicky Maynard: Honest furze-cutters on Egdon Heath.
Samuel Allardyce: Stout gentleman farmer who becomes infatuated with Bathsheba.
Jack Collison: Cowherd from Sherton Abbas.
James Tomkins: A pious trainee vicar torn between God and Tess of the D’Urbervilles.
Winston Reid: Northern industrialist selling newfangled threshing machines to Wessex farmers.
Sam Baldock: Taciturn woodlander living in a small hut who dreams of marrying Grace Melbury.


Rab said...

What an achievement bringing Martin O'Neill out of retirement. Couldn't get as a manager but delighted he joins our midfield next season.

Pete May said...

Whoops! I'd quite fancy Martin in our midfield next season but I guess I'd better change it to Gary...

matt said...

There must be some from the past as well. Wasn't Alan Devonshire a sturdy yeoman farmer who led the singing at the county fair. And of course Hardy wrote a novel about West Ham's greatest ever manager - Under the Ron Greenwood Tree.

Pete May said...

Robert Green sounds like a country Vicar to me...