Wednesday, October 8

Club statement on financial meltdown of Pete May

West Ham insist they will not be affected by Pete May being Brassic, having placed all his dosh in an Icesave account and a West Ham season ticket.

"This is not affecting West Ham," a senior boardroom member revealed. "One of Mr May's investments has gone bad, but he is still standing and has a lot of other investments. Although he may no longer be able to afford to invest in the match day programme in January."

Another board member said May had made it clear that his predicament had "no implications, no impact" for the club.

"West Ham is protected by Mr May’s investment in an East Stand season ticket," he said. "He has considerable personal wealth in a number of sectors, such as a series of short-selling shares in Ken’s CafĂ©, leveraged collateral debt in the Black Lion, a series of dodgy derivatives from Newcastle, a 1980 FA Cup Final programme, a Bjork coloured vinyl EP and a monkey on the 2.10 at Kempton."

A weekend newspaper report claimed that Indian billionaire Anil Hugewadi was interested in buying May’s West Ham season ticket and had been told it was available for £15.

But the board member said: "Pete’s West Ham season ticket is definitely not for sale. Mr May is not looking to sell his seat and he is as committed as ever. That is unless the Icelandic government sells it on his behalf or a consortium of Mike Ashley, Mark Goldberg and Terry Venables comes in with a bid."


Nicholas Clee said...

If Lucas Neill reads this, he might lose confidence and make another approach to Liverpool.

Pete May said...

I'm not sure Liverpool could afford him now! They may have to make do with Luis Boa Borte and options on some Icesave shares.