Saturday, April 30
The Boys in the Bubble
Our tickets for Wigan have been bought and Fraser and myself are booked on the free coaches (nice gesture from the Gullivan brothers). Although Matt and Lisa are looking for a boutique hotel in Widnes, which prompted me to point out that Widnes was where Paul Simon wrote Homeward Bound about returning to his girlfriend in Brentwood, Essex.
This prompted Fraser to observe that: “There's no need to worry as our team would still be trying to Keep The Customer Satisfied, but then I thought I'd just content myself with mentioning the weird but irrelevant trivia that Paul Simon's first solo single Mother and Child Reunion was actually written about eating a chicken omelette.”
Matt replied: "I can see how it relates to West Ham’s relegation:"
No I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day.
Matt added that” Our attempts to build a Bridge Over Troubled Water will be hampered by the very strong hint on the club website that Parker is out for the season (along with Noble). If we were a Boxer we would be throwing the towel in. We are on our way to Scarborough fair enough (if they get promoted a few divisions). I think The Boy in the Bubble has just faded and died.”
Indeed there’s no Bridge over at the troubled waters of Man City as Wayne’s loan terms forbid him playing against them.
To which I replied that the coaches are leaving at 8.30 am from the main gates at Upton Park, which is My Little Town. Guess we’re Still Crazy After All These Years… It could be The Sound Of Silence from the home fans at Wigan and perhaps we'll beat Blackburn if it's down to you, misses Robinson.
Indeed, as Paul Simon lived in Brentwood in the 1960s and dated an Essex Girl (Kathy of Kathy's Song fame) it's not inconceivable that he visited WHU. Hence the lyrics of Mother and Child Reunion:
I can't for the life of me
Remember a sadder day
I know they say let it be
But it just don't work out that way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again
I just can't believe its so,
And though it seems strange to say
I never been laid so low
In such a mysterious way
At which point I shall get my coat and trust that Robert Green is repeating, I am a Rock to himself.
This prompted Fraser to observe that: “There's no need to worry as our team would still be trying to Keep The Customer Satisfied, but then I thought I'd just content myself with mentioning the weird but irrelevant trivia that Paul Simon's first solo single Mother and Child Reunion was actually written about eating a chicken omelette.”
Matt replied: "I can see how it relates to West Ham’s relegation:"
No I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day.
Matt added that” Our attempts to build a Bridge Over Troubled Water will be hampered by the very strong hint on the club website that Parker is out for the season (along with Noble). If we were a Boxer we would be throwing the towel in. We are on our way to Scarborough fair enough (if they get promoted a few divisions). I think The Boy in the Bubble has just faded and died.”
Indeed there’s no Bridge over at the troubled waters of Man City as Wayne’s loan terms forbid him playing against them.
To which I replied that the coaches are leaving at 8.30 am from the main gates at Upton Park, which is My Little Town. Guess we’re Still Crazy After All These Years… It could be The Sound Of Silence from the home fans at Wigan and perhaps we'll beat Blackburn if it's down to you, misses Robinson.
Indeed, as Paul Simon lived in Brentwood in the 1960s and dated an Essex Girl (Kathy of Kathy's Song fame) it's not inconceivable that he visited WHU. Hence the lyrics of Mother and Child Reunion:
I can't for the life of me
Remember a sadder day
I know they say let it be
But it just don't work out that way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again
I just can't believe its so,
And though it seems strange to say
I never been laid so low
In such a mysterious way
At which point I shall get my coat and trust that Robert Green is repeating, I am a Rock to himself.
Wednesday, April 27
Seven points from safety?
Recent defeats for Wolves and Blackburn give us some hope. Having consulted the fixture list, Nigel-style, I'll predict that:
Wolves will get six points from Birmingham A (loss), WBA H (win), Sunderland A (loss)and Blackburn H (win) leaving them on 39 points.
Wigan will get four points from Everton H (win) Villa A (loss), West Ham H (draw) and Stoke A (loss), leaving them on 38.
Blackpool will get four points from Stoke H (draw), Spurs A (loss), Bolton H (win) and Man United A (loss), leaving them on 38.
Blackburn will get three points from Bolton H (win), West Ham A (loss), Man United H (loss) and Wolves A (loss), leaving them on 38 too.
So two wins and a draw (seven points) from our final four games would leave us on 39 points and a bottom three of Blackburn, Wigan and Blackpool (all on 38) and West Ham and Wolves one point above them. So realistically, if we lost at Man City, we have to aim for wins against Blackburn and Sunderland and a draw at Wigan.
Wolves will get six points from Birmingham A (loss), WBA H (win), Sunderland A (loss)and Blackburn H (win) leaving them on 39 points.
Wigan will get four points from Everton H (win) Villa A (loss), West Ham H (draw) and Stoke A (loss), leaving them on 38.
Blackpool will get four points from Stoke H (draw), Spurs A (loss), Bolton H (win) and Man United A (loss), leaving them on 38.
Blackburn will get three points from Bolton H (win), West Ham A (loss), Man United H (loss) and Wolves A (loss), leaving them on 38 too.
So two wins and a draw (seven points) from our final four games would leave us on 39 points and a bottom three of Blackburn, Wigan and Blackpool (all on 38) and West Ham and Wolves one point above them. So realistically, if we lost at Man City, we have to aim for wins against Blackburn and Sunderland and a draw at Wigan.
Tuesday, April 26
I Don't Want to Go To Chelsea
Chelsea 3 West Ham 0
Plans to watch this one live in a Buntingford pub had to be abandoned as my daughter Nell had to go into hospital with an asthma attack after a combination of smog, record Easter temperatures, pollen and a chest infection. But thanks to the good work of Addenbrooke’s hospital in Cambridge she’s now back home, much better and able to berate her mother for wearing a top with a Gunners badge on it.
The team sheet has Nigel texting “Nightmare!” and Matt texting “The very little chance we had has gone completely!” O’Neil is possibly finishied with football completely, Scotty, the newly-elected football writers’ player of the season, is still injured, Upson is out with illness and bizarrely there’s no place for Tomkins. So we’re relying on the likes of Gabbidon, Da Costa, Sears and Spector.
But the evidence on Match of the Day suggests the score slightly flattered Chelsea as Torres (whom we all knew would score against us) got their second on 84 minutes thanks to an assist from a puddle and their third came in the 94 minute with a Malouda piledriver.
We’d created chances before Big Fat Frank (inevitably) had put Chelsea ahead just before the interval. Thirteen-year-old Freddie Sears had encouragingly beaten Cashley Cole for speed and crossed for Jonathan Spector to test Cech with a diving header. Then Sears himself had a backheel cleared off the line by Cole.
In the second half Luiz hit the bar, but we created further opportunities. Freddie Sears crossed invitingly for Carlton to shoot first time, only for the great twitterer to instead turn and meander into a puddle. Keane and Ba also tested Cech as we showed signs of grabbing an equaliser.
Then Jonathan Spector set up Robbie Keane with a great run and through ball, but the striker missed the target when he should have scored.
Plenty of the usual WHU failings though, conceding a goal before the break and absolutely always allowing players to end their goalscoring ducks against our porous defence.
A disastrous result in terms of going bottom again, and Noble was injured too. But some hope can be gleaned from the performances of Sears (he’ll be dating girls soon at this rate — and we may have to build a side around him if we go down) and Super Jonny Spector in midfield and the news that Parker and Upson might be back for next Sunday’s trip to Man City. Though sadly the games are running out.
Plans to watch this one live in a Buntingford pub had to be abandoned as my daughter Nell had to go into hospital with an asthma attack after a combination of smog, record Easter temperatures, pollen and a chest infection. But thanks to the good work of Addenbrooke’s hospital in Cambridge she’s now back home, much better and able to berate her mother for wearing a top with a Gunners badge on it.
The team sheet has Nigel texting “Nightmare!” and Matt texting “The very little chance we had has gone completely!” O’Neil is possibly finishied with football completely, Scotty, the newly-elected football writers’ player of the season, is still injured, Upson is out with illness and bizarrely there’s no place for Tomkins. So we’re relying on the likes of Gabbidon, Da Costa, Sears and Spector.
But the evidence on Match of the Day suggests the score slightly flattered Chelsea as Torres (whom we all knew would score against us) got their second on 84 minutes thanks to an assist from a puddle and their third came in the 94 minute with a Malouda piledriver.
We’d created chances before Big Fat Frank (inevitably) had put Chelsea ahead just before the interval. Thirteen-year-old Freddie Sears had encouragingly beaten Cashley Cole for speed and crossed for Jonathan Spector to test Cech with a diving header. Then Sears himself had a backheel cleared off the line by Cole.
In the second half Luiz hit the bar, but we created further opportunities. Freddie Sears crossed invitingly for Carlton to shoot first time, only for the great twitterer to instead turn and meander into a puddle. Keane and Ba also tested Cech as we showed signs of grabbing an equaliser.
Then Jonathan Spector set up Robbie Keane with a great run and through ball, but the striker missed the target when he should have scored.
Plenty of the usual WHU failings though, conceding a goal before the break and absolutely always allowing players to end their goalscoring ducks against our porous defence.
A disastrous result in terms of going bottom again, and Noble was injured too. But some hope can be gleaned from the performances of Sears (he’ll be dating girls soon at this rate — and we may have to build a side around him if we go down) and Super Jonny Spector in midfield and the news that Parker and Upson might be back for next Sunday’s trip to Man City. Though sadly the games are running out.
Friday, April 22
O'Neil's future in doubt
Disastrous news. Today's Daily Telegraph reports that Gary O'Neil has ripped ligaments in his ankle and his career could be over. It is 50/50 whether he will play again and he is considering suing our old friend Nigel Reo-Coker over the tackle that caused the injury on Saturday.
With Parker out against Chelsea too it's looking bad. It's time for Hitzlsperger and Noble to take responsibility and maybe Obinna to produce some flair. Thee might even be a case for recalling Kovac to add a bit of bulk in midfield. And what are the odds Torres breaks his duck against us?
With Parker out against Chelsea too it's looking bad. It's time for Hitzlsperger and Noble to take responsibility and maybe Obinna to produce some flair. Thee might even be a case for recalling Kovac to add a bit of bulk in midfield. And what are the odds Torres breaks his duck against us?
Monday, April 18
Gift of the Gab?
Today's Sun reports that Danny Gabbidon, who came on as a sub for Manuel Da Costa against Aston Villa, tweeted to fans who were blaming him for the Villa defeat: "U know what f*** the lot of of you u will never get another tweet from me again u just don't get it do you. Bye bye."
The Sun also reports that West Ham Ladies midfielder Stacey Little tweeted in response: "Danny Gabbidon — what a p***k. I think us fans have a right 2b upset. U get paid enough. Be a man and take it!"
Hmm. She seems to care about the club at least. Maybe she could line-up in midfield for the men's side…
Gabbidon did OK for much of the game and the whole side was culpable. But he's right to give up tweeting. Every player should have been reflecting on their performance in private over the weekend and not social networking. And if they must tweet then what sort of comments do they expect?
The Sun also reports that West Ham Ladies midfielder Stacey Little tweeted in response: "Danny Gabbidon — what a p***k. I think us fans have a right 2b upset. U get paid enough. Be a man and take it!"
Hmm. She seems to care about the club at least. Maybe she could line-up in midfield for the men's side…
Gabbidon did OK for much of the game and the whole side was culpable. But he's right to give up tweeting. Every player should have been reflecting on their performance in private over the weekend and not social networking. And if they must tweet then what sort of comments do they expect?
Matty goes to Wembley
Nice to see Matty Etherington score a great goal and help take Stoke City to the FA Cup Final. Always thought he was a good player for us, if a little fragile when kicked by Neanderthal Championship full-backs.
He probably had to leave London to overcome his gambling problems, but did Zola give up on him too easily? Initially he seemed to be building a team around Etherington in a floating role. If we could have kept him out of the bookies he'd certainly be a useful asset right now.
He probably had to leave London to overcome his gambling problems, but did Zola give up on him too easily? Initially he seemed to be building a team around Etherington in a floating role. If we could have kept him out of the bookies he'd certainly be a useful asset right now.
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