Oh East London is full of shops...

Big Sam, David Sullivan, Carlton Cole, Jack Collison and Kevin Nolan were all at Westfield yesterday to mark the opening of the new West Ham store. It will certainly make it easier buying club gear on the way to the game rather than enduring the queues at the Upton Park store.

When we're in the new stadium 70 per cent of all fans will have to file past our claret and blue nodding dogs, so it should prove a nice little earner. Just as long as Karren Brady doesn't let those contestants from The Apprentice demonstrate their selling skills there.

We're winning at home!

West Ham 4 Portsmouth 3

Oh to be back in England with the smell of chips in the autumnal air. In Ken’s Café all is well with the world: Carol’s been at her caravan on the Isle of Sheppey, the egg, chips and beans is as good as ever, and Matt has given up on the Dukla Prague away kit and is wearing his untried lucky Versace Classic black t-shirt.

My daughters are there as it’s kids for a quid and Lola and Nell ask why the imitation guns are still on the wall. Probably to deter rioters or shoot customers who don’t answer when their number is called.

It’s been worth wearing my sweaty nylon yellow, blue and green Solomon Islands replica kit just to make Nigel and Matt envious with tales of the Lawson Tama Stadium. Though Matt claims Doncaster is more obscure.

MATT FINISH
Inside the stadium, what’s apparent is that Noble, Nolan and Lansbury are snapping into tackles in midfield, O’Brien has slotted in well at right-back and Carlton Cole is holding the ball up well and showing more desire than last season. We’re also doing some nice short passing in the middle and the long-ball game we feared hasn’t materialized. The one thing the side seems to lack is pace.

Still, it all seems to be going predictably wrong when Luke Varney shoots from a corner. The ball is going wide, but deflects off Carlton Cole and into the net.

Within a minute Cole wins a free kick on the edge of the Pompey box. “Don’t worry girls, we always score from free-kicks,” I tell my daughters.

Miraculously, Taylor curls the ball, via a slight deflection, past Ashdown. Blimey. I didn’t mean it… It seems to sum up the difference between this season and last.

We have the better of the first half though Pompey create the best chances. Robert Green – who is still at Upton Park after ten-year-old Nell wrote to him telling him not to move — makes a fantastic double save from Pearce’s header.

KING HENRI
The second half begins with Noble’s cross from the left being headed out to the edge of the box for Henri Lansbury to shoot home.

As we celebrate, Nell wonders if we can cheer an Arsenal player, so I reassure her it’s permissible to cheer an on-loan Gooner.

“How shit must you be we’re winning at home?” chant the Bobby Moore Stand.

“Don’t lose it there Noble!” shouts Matt, as Noble misses a tackle and Varney sweeps down the field. Pompey cross and Norris’s header appears to be over the lie as O’Brien kicks it clear only for Benjani to make sure.

On 63 minutes Allardyce brings on Bentley for Gustav Faubert. The old David Beckham is eager for the ball in central midfield, if inclined to shoot on sight, Diamanti-style, from 900 yards out. Bentley’s skill results in Lawrence being him down and getting sent off for a yellow card offence.

Six minutes after Lawrence’s dismissal Lansbury juggles in the box and wins a penalty for what was surely an accidental handball. Noble strikes it confidently home.

ALWAYS BELIEVE IN CARLTON COLE?
It’s good to see McCartney back in the side and his overlapping on the left and understanding with Nolan makes a difference in the second half. The game looks over on 76 minutes as Taylor plays in an instant cross and the unmarked Cole rises to score with a heard into the top corner.

“Oh what a goal!” gushes the commentator on the Football League Show’s highlights – and it’s a long rime since we’ve heard that said about West Ham.

Lansbury almost gets a fifth but when Nell and Lola say that West Ham have won, curmudgeonly Nigel, Fraser and Matt all reply that you can never ever say that with West Ham.

Sure enough, sub Freddie Piquionne stupidly raises an arm to Portsmouth defender Halford and gets sent off. Perhaps Halford had made a quip about fly-tipping.

And in the 97th minute Ben Haim is brought down by Noble and Halford strokes home the penalty. Mercifully the ref signals full time immediately after the restart, before we concede the inevitable equaliser.

“That game went really quickly,” says a disbelieving Lola.

It’s a trip to the Newham Bookshop afterwards to celebrate after a thoroughly entertaining game of seven goals and two red cards and several cardiac flutters. Unbeaten in five games, we go up to fourth and it’s our first win at home since March 5. Sort out the defence and we just might get in the top two.

Theatre of height

Looking forward to my first game of the season today. Fraser tells me: "Sam has spent the summer signing players who are mostly 6ft 5".

My only worry is that there might now be a height requirement for spectators. Big Joe should be all right, but I fear the rest of us may be turned away at the turnstiles.

Hit the read Jack

Nice to see Jack Collison get a run-out for Wales against England at Wembley. He didn't have a great game, but was part of a Welsh side that could have equalised in the second half. He's still only played half a dozen games since coming back from a year out, so we have yet to see the best of him. Though he and Noble now have to compete with Demel, Diop and Bentley for a midfield berth...

On another note, it was horrible to see Scotty come on and think that he was now a Spurs player... and long-term he may be replacing our old friend Big Fat Frank. Hopefully we'll buy him back once Spurs go down...

Life on Mars

Just returned from a summer sabbatical in Australia and the Solomon Islands:

So we've had riots all over England, Shane Warne is dating Liz Hurley, Arsenal are struggling against relegation and regularly concede eight goals, Spurs now lose 5-1 at home, Stoke are in Europe and West Ham score from set pieces and have won three away games in a row.

Have I been away for longer than I thought? It all seems a bit Life on Mars...

King Henri?

See that Henri Lansbury scored twice for England Under-21s against Azerbaijan the other night and was man of the match. Stuart Pearce has announced that he's ready for greater things. Could be we have a player on our hands for a season.

Though I seem to remember Jeremie Alliadiere was tipped for greatness at Arsenal too until he came to us on loan and caused consternation for Jeremey Nicholas every time he announced his name, but not for opposition defences...

Still, Henri has already proved himself a decent player in the Championship, so it will be interesting to see where Big Sam fits him in.

Fab four?

Some seemingly good business by Big Sam, as we've recruited four new players after selling Parker in Diop, Demel, Lansbury and Bentley.

Guy Demel (will Elton John fans in the Bobby Moore stand come up with A Song for Guy?) can play on the right of defence or midfield and has won the league at Hamburg. The 30-year-old from the Ivory Coast looks a formidable size too...

Henri Lansbury is an England under-21 international at Arsenal and will add more depth to the squad. He's already had loan spells and scored goals at this level for Norwich and Scunthorpe.

While I'm excited by the season-long loan signing of David Bentley, once tipped as the new David Beckham, but possibly a victim of the, erm, Baby Bentley culture.

He was overpriced at £15 million when he joined Spurs, played out of position and then unable to displace Aaron Lennon. But we know from his time at Blackburn that he's a great crosser and free kick specialist. And anyone who saw the 50-yard goal he scored for Spurs at Arsenal knows he's got ability. Could be one of those undervalued Moneyball players that we need.

Slightly disappointed to see Junior Stanislas join Burnley as he's an Academy product who scored a few goals for the club and has never really been given an extended run, but guess we have to recoup some wages for the new signings.

Overall, Allardyce has attracted Premiership quality players and been decisive in the market so far. Seems like we have a manager who knows what he's doing at last.