Massive attack

Thanks to everyone who has purchased copies of Massive: The Miracle of Prague. You can buy it from local bookshops, Amazon or Biteback or get signed copies from the Newham Bookshop. And with the anniversary of West Ham's triumph in Prague approaching do please put up reviews on Amazon or Good Reads if you found it half decent, as they all help spread the word. Cheers.

Downes, Downes, deeper and Downes

Good to see the on-loan Flynn Downes win promotion with Southampton in the Wembley Play-off Final against Leeds. He started the move that led to the winning goal and has had a fine season for the Saints, making 37 appearances and scoring twice. Flynn is also one of our own coming from the East End of, erm, Brentwood. More importantly Downes is going to come back a better player. The Saints want to buy him, but with West Ham's squad being so thin he surely deserves a few more chances with the Hammers as an alternative or deputy for Alvarez and Soucek. And he's got to be better than Kalvin Phillips.

Lucas in a spot of bother

It's certainly bad news for West Ham and Lucas Paqueta that the midfielder has been charged by the FA with breaches of spot-betting regulations, allegations he strenuously denies. If found guilty there are fears he could get a ten-year or even a lifetime ban. It would surely be peak West Ham to sign a player for £50 million and then see him banned for many years with no re-sale value. Without the £85 million from Paqueta's proposed move to Manchester City new gaffer Julen Lopetegui's options in the market would be limited too. 

Yet there is surely hope in the fact that without solid evidence allegations of getting deliberately booked are very difficult to prove, despite suspicious bets at Paqueta Island in Brazil. The player denies any knowledge of this. While sixty-two thousand West Ham fans also claim to have sold their car to Lucas Paqueta, though it's not necessarily true. 

Paqueta seems to be always getting silly bookings for lunging in or petulance, and they haven't stopped since the allegations appeared at the start of last season. He's an emotional player and he gets stuck in, yellow cards are aways likely. The Guardian reports that Paqueta was interviewed last September and gave the FA access to his phone a month later. Lucas has until June to respond to the allegations and for the sake of both player and club this needs to be resolved quickly.

City ease their way to title

Manchester City 3 West Ham 1

We're off to the Lucky Pub, the Leicester Arms, for this title decider. Matt and Lisa are planning a mini-break to Suffolk while Nigel and CQ are back from seeing the Boss in Ireland. Though Jarrod Bowen is not Born to Run today as he's absent with tonsillitis. While Matt isn't boosted by the return of Dinos, being worried about Greeks bearing gifts 

What little hope there is for the Hammers disappears after two minutes as Foden slips inside Ward-Prowse and unleashes a rocket into the top corner. A brilliant goal and Foden would probably get into our team, we reflect. West Ham just can't get the ball off City as Areola has to make a fine flying save from Doku. 

It's two when the slippery Doku crosses for Foden to get between Zouma and Ward-Prowse and guide the ball past the Fonz. Luckily we don't concede a third and defend a little better than at Chelsea, though it's a mystery why Alvarez hasn't started as Ward-Prowse and Soucek are being bypassed in central midfield. 

Kudus fires a shot at Ortega as West Ham come back into it slightly. We gain a corner just before the break and astonishingly Mo Kudus scores with a brilliant overhead kick. It could be goal of the season if we hadn't already voted. 

There's some optimism in the pub and at the Emirates at the break as we order more Neck Oil. So the last thing we need is Areola to make a mistake, allowing Rodri's shot to slip through his hands for number three. Game over and Haaland almost makes it four as he shoulders the ball just wide. Late on West Ham get a late corner and Soucek appears to have scored although VAR reveals it's an obvious handball.

At least it's not been a thrashing. City celebrate their fourth successive title, which is surely bad for football, and Declan Rice has still only won silverware at West Ham.

Nigel and CQ head off for a prog rock jamming session, while Matt and Lisa digest the news that Brentwood FC have lost 3-2 on penalties to Bowers and Pitsea. So another season ends and we can regroup in August with a new gaffer. Is it too early to say "Lopetegui out!"? Have a good summer all Hammers fans.

Can West Ham pull of a shock against City?

It's a little disrespectful the way pundits such as Gary Neville reacted to Man City beating Spurs  by insisting City had won the league already. Yes, Kurt and Oggy, combined age 900 or so, up against De Bruyne and Haaland is a little worrying and we might play like we are in Florida already. But West Ham are a gloriously unpredictable team. We might lose 5-0 or pull of a shock. With players like Bowen, Kudus and Paqueta in the side there's always scope for something special. It could even be time for JWP to finally score a free-kick.

West Ham owe it to the integrity of the league to put in a decent performance, while there's also the incentive of it being Moyes' last game and the players helping their old skipper Declan Rice get a medal. City's relentlessness is now boring and even if it means a London rival winning the league so be it. And I'm sure my old mate Dan has got a bet on the Hammers to win or draw at some pretty impressive odds.

A farewell to Moyes as Hammers hit Hatters with comeback

West Ham 3 Luton 1

It's not often you see David Moyes scarves on sale at Hackney Wick. I'm with daughter Lola, clad in her Haller shirt (whatever happened to Seb?) and back from an exile in the land of Hearts and Hibs. We're joined by Matt in the seats, wearing his Prague replica kit, as is Big Sam. Matt has just played at QPR for a team of hacks against Ed Balls, Sadiq Khan and David Miliband, tweaking both hamstrings in true West Ham style. Nigel is away at a mystery gig, Michael is doing a tour of Waitrose Britain and Fraser is on the treatment table and unable to make any farewell gestures towards Moyes.

It's another slow start for the Hammers with the side looking lethargic after a spanking at Chelsea. Doughty is allowed too much space on the left and crosses for Lokonga to head home, having run unchallenged from midfield and powered past Ogbonna.

Luckily Luton decide to sit on their lead, though only a fine tackle from Zouma denies them a second. The Irons huff and puff in the sunshine, but do create some chances. Kudus pounces on Luton's misplaced passes from the back but fires fide. Paqueta gets in an inviting cross that Jarrod Bowen volleys against the outside of the post and Ward-Prowse fires across the box with Antonio unable to react in time. 

For once whatever Moyes says to the side at half-time works. The Hammers come out remembering they are a football team and play with greater intensity. Nine minutes after the break Kaminski can only clear a Bowen cross with his legs and Ward-Prowse equalises with a precise shot into the corner for his seventh goal of the season. 

Kudus is causing a lot of problems with his mazy dribbles and another fine cross is headed towards the top corner by Antonio, needing a fingertip save from Kaminski. Emerson has a shot deflected for a corner. The resulting corner is cleared, but Chong is out-muscled by Coufal who feeds James Ward-Prowse who curls in an inviting cross. It's headed away to the edge of the box where Soucek meets it with a thumping volley to make it 2-1. Tomas wheels away dreaming of potato salad all summer and it's fitting a Moyes stalwart should have scored. That's ten this season for Soucek. 

THIS IS PLANET EARTHY

The crowd get going with some greatest hits of "West Ham are Massive!", "We know what we are..." and an unexpected "We've got Super David Moyes!" Kudus can only hit the outside of the post after being set up by Bowen as Antonio us replaced by 19-year-old George Earthy.

In the 76th minute Mo Kudus twists two Luton defenders inside out, gets to the byline and pulls back for Earthy to score with his first touch, the youngster having made a fine run to the near post. "Look at his face! Look at his face!" enthuses Lola. "He'll be getting extra Haribos tonight," I suggest. It's ironic that Moyes has had stick all season for not using subs or giving youngsters a chance. George celebrates with Mo Kudus sitting on the hoadings as Kurt Zouma fires up the crowd.

There's even time for young Casey to get a few minutes at the back as he replaces Ogbonna. The game is played out to a chorus of "Oles!" as "Moyes Champions of Europe" banners are unveiled. It's good to see Moyesy get some appreciation and the fans united. He's had a lot of very vociferous keyboard critics, but the majority of fans can see he's left the club in a much better place as we cement another top ten finish, even if the European dream is gone and the squad needs some rebuilding.

The Luton fans salute their team and Rob Edwards at the final whistle despite near-certain relegation and get sporting applause from the home fans. Eventually after the goal of the season is decided (it's Mo Kudus against Freiburg) the players emerge with their kids and partners for the lap of honour. We get to see Dani Dyer and Jarrod Bowen's twins on fire while Lucas Paqueta teaches his kids how to roll over and claim a foul. Tomas Soucek's offspring probably head junior fridges. Moyes salutes the crowd in his shirtsleeves and looks touched, as we mark the end of the Moyesball era. 

Matt heads to the Eagle and Lola and myself enjoy wine and a pint of Ja! IPA at The Library in Drayton Park, where the Arsenal fans wish the Hammers luck against City, which we'll need. Another season is over and ninth or tenth with a Europa League quarter final, plus wins at Spurs and Arsenal isn't that bad, despite some humiliating defeats. Now it's over to Mr Lopetegui after Man City away. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Coufal 7, Zouma 6, Ogbonna 6 (Casey n/a), Emerson 6 (Cresswell n/a); Soucek 7, Ward-Prowse7, Paqueta 6 (Ings n/a); Kudus 8, Antonio 6 (Earthy 7), Bowen 7.

Vlad the IPAler

Not related to anything in particular except our marauding right-back, I did enjoy this bit of bar graffiti spotted at Hackney Wick. 

Lopetegui coming in

The Times is reporting that West Ham have agreed personal terms with Julen Lopetegui. Some certainty is welcome after the debacle at Chelsea yesterday and the players will have to perform to impress the new boss. He's won the Europa League with Sevilla and managed Spain and Real Madrid, so comes with quite a track record, as well as having guided Wolves to safety last season, even if they struggled to score goals and he left in a huff over a reduced transfer budget.

It's sad and rather ironic that David Moyes is being let go because his team can't defend, even though he's never won some fans over because of his defensive approach. I didn't have a problem with counter-attacking football if it was done well, but without a solid defence since Christmas the team has served up great entertainment in lots of games, as the anti-Moyes fans demanded, but mostly through high-scoring draws and a few thumping defeats. 

But overall we should thank Moyes for his record at West Ham. What's David Moyes ever done for West Ham apart from saving us from relegation twice, finishing sixth and seventh, reaching Europa League semi-finals and quarter-finals, winning the Europa Conference League and achieving a probable top half finish this season? He's let things drift with a too small squad and tired players since Christmas, but Moyes has also been let down by the players at times. I'll be giving him a farewell cheer on Saturday. Now let's see what Lopetegui can do.

Humiliation at Stamford Bridge

Chelsea 5 West Ham 0 

Never felt confident going into this, with some justification. Chelsea take the lead after 15 minutes when a cross bounces off Zouma to Palmer who lashes home. At 1-1 Jarrod Bowen is unlucky to hit the bar with a header from a corner. The second goal sees the ball come off Zouma again and the Hammers again fail to win the second ball, with Gallagher shooting home. 

The third sees the unmarked Madueke get a free header from a corner. Gallagher hits the bar for Chelsea while Jarrod Bowen is again unlucky to see a shot hit the bar at 3-0 down. The second half sees Alvarez hauled off and Ward-Prowse on. We're certainly not getting enough from big-name signings like Alvarez, Paqueta and Kudus as the season disintegrates. 

The fourth, two minutes after the break, is an embarrassing lob over the top, with Emerson floundering and Madueke crossing for Jackson to tap home. Paqueta releases Emerson only for him to shoot wildly over. Bowen hits the bar yet again before Jackson gets a fifth from another long ball with Zouma and the back line again outpaced. Even VAR can't save us.

So it's 5-0 with the board partly to blame for turning Moyes into a lame-duck manager through the public pursuit of replacements, though the players have to look at themselves too. But Moyes is responsible for a terrible transfer window and not being able to organise a Moyes-like defence. We have the worst defensive record in the league outside the bottom three. West Ham need Mavropanos and Aguerd fit and full backs who can defend. If only we hadn't sold Craig Dawson.

Moyes has made real progress for most of his time as boss but the heavy defeats at Palace and Chelsea suggest the players are ageing and no longer doing it for him, though they should be as professionals. This feels like the end of the Moyes era.

Let Moyes concentrate on the final three games

Too many stories are leaking from West Ham at the moment. The latest, that Tim Steidten is unofficially banned from being around David Moyes and the first-team for the rest of the season, at least means that Moyes can get on with his job without having to deal with the man who could be tasked with finding his successor. It could be Moyes has decided to move on already or perhaps the board are not going to offer him a contract. But the pursuit of Julen Lepetegui, who the Guardian reported fancied Milan over Romford Market though the BBC now claim might be back in the frame, and Sporting Lisbon's Ruben Amorim, who says talks with WHU were a "mistake", has been very public. Can't the club negotiate in secret? Results against Chelsea and Luton could still see a respectable finish. Let's leave the intrigue till the last ball is kicked. And Rishi Sunak might be available by then.