Late errors and bookings prove costly

Bayer Leverkusen 2 West Ham 0 (Europa League)

The armchair fans gather at Mayhem Corner to watch this one on my sofa. Nigel and Carolyn, Matt and Lisa, Nell, Nicola and Vulcan the border terrier are all present as the Hammers try to get a result in Germany without Alvarez and Bowen. The level of hospitality rivals the Eagle, with crisps, peanuts, Matt and Lisa's Neck Oil and Camden IPA, plus Nigel and Carolyn's Peroni and alcohol-free Carlsberg helping up prepare to face a team that hasn't lost in 41 games. Before kick off there's time for some electoral banter and Nigel to quip that the new party campaigning to save Canvey Island's lake must be after floating voters. 

West Ham are sitting deep and do a pretty good defensive job in the first half. Fabianski has to make a flying save from Grimaldo and a low parry from Schick (you're Schick and you know you are?). Antonio is causing Tah problems and makes a great run down the left to set up a chance for Kudus, who shoots rather tamely at the keeper when he could have taken a touch. 

The Hammers do some pretty effective self-sabotage early on with Paqueta and Emerson both getting booked, meaning they'll miss the second leg, leaving Matt to rue our indiscipline. All this on top of Alvarez being suspended tonight for a silly booking against Freiburg.

Antonio has a claim for a penalty when he is tugged going for a Ward-Prowse free-kick. But West Ham's attacks are few and without Bowen we don't have much of a counter-attacking outlet. 

The second half sees more pressure as Fabianski has to make a fantastic fingertip save to keep out Schick's header. The overworked keeper then has to deny sub Hofmann in a one-on one. There's a late pinball flurry as Soucek twice clears from in front of the goalline. 

Just as it looks like the Irons have held out for a draw Bayer score with seven minutes left. A corner is cleared by Zouma, but Hofmann volleys home from the edge of the box with Kudus not getting close to him. 

Leverkusen are a patient side and in the 90th minute their unhurried approach spells disaster for the Irons. Ben Johnson and Coufal don't close down a short corner quickly enough and sub Boniface, who has stolen Maxi Cornet's blonde barnet, heads home, having lost Zouma. 

Right, so all we have to do is beat a team that hasn't lost all season 3-0 in the second leg, and do so without Paqueta, Bowen and Emerson. Leverkusen are going to win the Bundesliga so this isn't unexpected, but the difference in squad depth has told, with Matt remarking that offloading Kehrer, Fornals and Benrahma to pay Kalvin Phillips' wages has proved disastrous. 

We need someone like Cornet or Ings to step up to have any hope of progressing, which is a big ask. As Lisa remarks, out best hope is that Leverkusen win the league on Sunday and spend the next four days in bierkellers.