Several police vans are on Stratford Broadway and there are officers with drawn batons — they must have got wind of the fact that Fraser is making a rare appearance in the Best Cafe along with his firm of Matt, Lisa, Michael, myself, Sue the Chester fan and Matt's brother Adam, who has travelled all the way from Melbourne, Australia. With two vicar's sons present we are hoping that the crowd will keep it polite. Inside the London Stadium we meet Nigel, still reeling after reading a BBC article about the demise of the printed programme, and the Clacton contingent of Alison and Scott plus Steve the Cornish postie.
After the fireworks, Bubbles and the plastic bag waving it's a cagey first half compared to the Sevilla game. Lyon pass the ball neatly and Dembele goes close from a cross, but generally they are restricted to inaccurate long-range shots. Antonio is getting fouled a lot again, but causing problems and has a chance blocked after a return ball from Fornals. A long ball from Dawson finds Benrahma who under pressure shoots into the onrushing keeper from a tight angle. Rice has a low shot on target from a corner, though it's easily saved by Lopes.
Lyon players keep going down as if shot by the ubiquitous Jack Grealish sniper. "Lève-toi ta tarte!" comments Michael, our resident linguist.
Then comes disaster. In added time of the first half Souar plays in Dembele behind Zouma. Cresswell comes together with Dembele and it all looks very innocuous until referee Felix Zwayer brandishes a red card. Cresswell can't believe it and astonishingly there's no VAR intervention.
THE REFEREE'S A WINKER
The red card looks doubly suspect. Cresswell's arm has barely touched Dembele yet he's collapsed on the ground and the Lyon player also appears to be running away from the goal. It's very debatable that Cressy is the last man. To make it worse Moyes claims that Bowen has been fouled in the build up. Social media also reveals that Dembele has winked as Cresswell walks off — proof that Lyon are a bunch of winkers.
Moyes is booked for his protests after the half-time whistle blows. We'll take a 0-0 from this now. At least Nigel has his lucky banana out in the concourse in an attempt to get us through a difficult 45 minutes. For the first time in his life Matt starts to feel nostalgic for Mike Dean.
Johnson comes on for Benrahma as ten-man West Ham look to contain Lyon. But the sense of injustice is producing a fighting performance and astonishingly the Hammers go ahead after 52 minutes. The tireless Fornals plays the ball into the Lyon box, Boateng miscues and Bowen manages to spin and shoot, his shot deflecting off Boateng's boot and rolling gently over the line. Cue a massive explosion of noise from the London Stadium as Bowen runs to the Bobby Moore end.
Ndombele fires a shot wide, but it's almost an improbable two for the Hammers as Bowen makes a fantastic run from his own half, showing great strength to win the ball and get down the left before sending in an inviting ball that Antonio just fails to connect with.
SMELLS LIKE TEAM SPIRIT
But it's not to be. In the 66th minute sub Tete beats Johnson to fire in a cross. Areola can only parry it out, the ball strikes Fredericks and falls nicely for Ndombele, a Tottenham player, to equalise.
The crowd continue to inspire the home side with chants of "West Ham are massive!" and despite conceding most of the possession, the togetherness of the squad helps the Irons hold on. A rare Hammers' corner sees Lopez produce a good punch to deny Zouma. When West Ham mount a promising attack the game is stopped because of a Herbert invading the pitch — the second pitch invader of the evening. As the miscreant is hauled away by stewards a fan from the Bobby Moore Stand throws something at him. "Must be another Guardian reader," quips Fraser.
Meanwhile the ref seems completely unable to spot Lyon theatricals as players repeatedly fall to the floor. He incorrectly allows Lyon to re-take a foul throw and books Jarrod Bowen seemingly for looking at a writhing Lyon player in a funny manner. "Get up you tart!" suggests the vicar's other son beside me.
The spirit is epitomised by Craig Dawson winning a header and then surging into two storming tackles. WHU survive eight added minutes and it's still all to pay for in Lyon.
We head for the Refreshment Rooms to reflect on a battling performance, the great job Frank Lampard is doing at Everton, and the fact that Geoff Hurst was the last WHU legend to relegate Chelsea. Ultimately that dodgy red card might cost WHU in the second leg but whatever happens it's been an epic campaign and we can be proud of the way the side has tackled the Europa League so far. Irons!
PLAYER RATINGS Areola 6; Fredericks 6, Zouma 7, Dawson 8, Cresswell 6 (Johnson 6); Rice 8, Soucek 6, Fornals 7, Benrahma 6; Bowen 8, Antonio 6.
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