The day begins with Nicola and myself reminiscing about Brentford Nylons and Alan Freeman (you have to be a certain age to remember the ads). This it's on to the Best Cafe after first chatting with Stop! Hammer Time podcast guru Phil Whelans on the Overground.
Inside the cafe are Matt and Nigel, who is annoyed to be missing Altrincham v Grimsby while in Manchester next week. Then it's down Matt's alleyways of doom past the tower block and on to the London Stadium (where Matt narrowly avoids another programme disaster having arrived without cash and then being loaned £3.50) to meet Fraser, Michael, Scott and returning foul-weather fan Alison in her first game since lockdown. Meanwhile Steve the Cornish Postie has overslept and missed his train in the biggest own goal since Iain Dowie scored at Southport.
When Michael remarks that Ben Johnson is the first literary Hammer since Alan Dickens we spend a lot of time searching for players with writers' names and come up with Jermain 'Daniel' Defoe, James 'Wilkie' Collins, Robert 'Graham' Green, Ronnie 'Frank Cotrrell' Boyce, Scott 'Dorothy' Parker and Trevor 'Sheridan' Morley, among others.
Worryingly Nigel predicts that we'll lose today. It's a very slow start from the Hammers who appear to be suffering the much-predicted Europa League hangover. Mbeumo grazes the bar after a couple of minutes and then Toney has a volley saved by Fabianski. Brentford are strong in the tackle and get players forward quickly, while Toney is looking too strong for Zouma.
NEVR MIND THE BUS STOPS
Zouma does have a header just wide from a Cresswell corner but it's Brentford who take a deserved lead. Toney plays a first-time through ball and Canos who has got beyond Zouma, fires against Fabianski. It's a good save but Mbeumo scores with the rebound even though Fabianksi has clawed it back from just behind the line. "We're just a bus stop in Hounslow!" sing the gleeful away fans.
A crisper passing move between Fornals and Antonio sees Benrahma curl an effort narrowly wide, but it's clear Moyes has a lot of talking to do at the break. While Brentford are winning no friends with their time-wasting as Raya takes forever with his goal-kicks and players continually fall to the floor.
Things are so bad Nigel eats his 'lucky' banana at half-time in a bid to restore our fortunes. The Irons look a lot better in the second half. Antonio is crudely wrestled to the ground by Jorgensen and Benrahma's free kick is tipped over by Raya. Coufal gets forward to good effect, wins a challenge and crosses for Bowen to head wide when he should score. Antonio does well on the other flank to get a cross in, but first Fornals' effort is is blocked and then Coufal's shot is well saved by Raya.
JARROD MARCH
"I'm losing faith in our ability to score from corners," announces Mystic Matt. That does the trick. Cresswell's corner is headed out by a defender to Bowen who rifles a low shot into the corner and runs to the Bobby Moore Stand. His first goal in 16 games. A purple smoke bomb adds to the enjoyment.
It looks like the Hammers might even win, though a point would not be a disaster. Rice gets in a great cross only for Antonio and Soucek to distract each other and both just fail to connect. The lack of subs is a puzzle though.
The game appears to be drifting towards a draw in the 94th minute when Ogbonna gives away a free kick on the edge of the box. Jansson gets above Coufal to power in a header, Fabianski saves but the ball drops kindly to Wissa who thumps home the winner and disappears beneath a mound of yellow shirts in front of the Hounslow away crew.
We slump away in despond and with the Refreshment rooms closed try Escape, a hipster pub full of board games.The prices are a bit steep but the Gamma Ray is good and a "nice ambiance" comment inspires chants of, "You're going home in a London ambiance!" Then we turn to naming more literary Hammers and West Ham film directors (Scott 'Alan' Parker, Martin 'Woody' Allen, Robert 'Spike' Lee, Paul 'Jean-Luc' Goddard, Kevin 'Christopher' Nolan, etc. It's better than discussing the game.
After three wins in a week something had to go wrong, though West Ham deserved a point on their second half half showing and Brentford will surprise a lot of teams. We have to forget this one and go again after the international break.
PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Coufal 6, Zouma 5, Ogbonna 5, Cresswell 6; Rice 6, Soucek 5, Fornals 6, Benrahma 7, Bowen 7; Antonio 7.
2 comments:
Your pre match discussions appear to be more cerebral than we manage! Thanks for the memory jogger of Brentford Nylons! Nylon sheets! That cheered me up a bit...
Yes, those middle-class fans... Who on earth bought nylon sheets?
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