We're not needed anymore?

A worrying theory has emerged from Lisa and Matt, suggesting that West Ham's best winning run in years and the absence of us fans might be connected. Were some fans' less positive perspectives affecting the team's performances back in the days of crowds? On another level I'm also worried that all our match-day rituals might have been in vain. Could it be that Nigel's 'lucky' half-time banana counted for nothing as did his lucky Status Quo tour bag? Was Matt wearing his lucky Dukla Prague away shirt in vain? And what about Fraser's post-match cigars for every goal scored? Even the lucky pub might have been an illusion. Nothing we did made any difference. The truth is the lads don't need us at all, which is enough to give us all an existentialist crisis.

Lingard signs

Well, Jesse Lingard has signed on loan for the rest of the season which seems a risk-free proposition for both sides, and the Hammers have now signed Benrahma permanently for £26m to free up a loan space. 

WHU still need another striker, but what will appeal to Moyes about Lingard is his versatility. He can play on either flank or as a number 10 and Moyes even thinks he could do a job as a false nine — he did once score four goals on his loan debut for Birmingham City against Sheffield Wednesday. Bringing on Lingard for Bowen, Fornals or Benrahma at the end of games would certainly be an upgrade on Yarmolenko. 

There's always a risk signing players from Man United who are on the way down, but Lingard seems to be a solid character and has done well during loan periods for Derby, Leicester, Birmingham, Brighton and Derby. Moyes also has a good record of reviving payers from Old Trafford like Tim Howard, Phil Neville and Louis Saha. 

The big incentive for Lingard is that if he does well he might become part of Ole Gunnar Solksjaer's plans again, though having only played three games this season it's going to take him time to reach full match fitness.

But having scored  45 goals in 260 games - including FA Cup Final and Europa League Final strikes– he should provide more goals than our other midfielders. Lets hope this one comes off. 

Is Lingard what the Hammers need?

There's a lot of paper talk about West Ham signing Jesse Lingard. He'd be a strange signing when what the squad needs is a second striker, but presumably he'd take the place of Lanzini and be a decent player to bring off the bench. If he's a loan deal then it's relatively risk-free although West Ham would have to buy outright one of Benrahma and Dawson to free up a loan deal — and that would be no bad thing. 

Moyes knows Lingard from his time at Old Trafford, but the fear is that when players leave United they are usually on the way down. There seem to have been mitigating circumstances for Lingard's collapse in form, his mother was suffering from depression and he was left to look after his two younger siblings. He's also become a dad having had a child with a fitness model, as footballers are wont to do. So quite a lot has been going on with his private life. 

Perhaps Moyes can help get his career back on track. Lingard has scored in an FA Cup Final and Europa League Final and has 23 England caps, so the potential is still there at 28.

Meanwhile the sacking of Frank Lampard at Chelsea is good news for West Ham. The Athletic claims that Frank was starting to annoy his bosses by requesting a move for Rice. They were reluctant to sanction an £80m move for a player they gave away from their academy. New boss Thomas Tuchel is unlikely to be so obsessed with getting one payer. 

It's been quite a week. Big Fat Frank has gone, West Ham have gone up to fourth and Jack Wilshere has scored for Bournemouth. Strange days indeed.

Champions League? We're having a laugh!

Crystal Palace 2 West Ham 3

It looks like the usual WHU return to earth after a good run when Zaha puts Palace ahead after three minutes. The Hammers' midfield has stood off and Benteke has flicked the ball to Zaha who scores from the edge of the area.

But the Irons' response is excellent. In the ninth minute Fornals plays a clever ball in to the byline, Antonio flicks it across the goal and Soucek powers home a header. It gets better: Antonio is fouled by ex-Iron Kouyate and Cresswell's free-kick is controlled on his thigh and then shot into the net by Soucek again. Potato salad all round! 

West Ham nearly score a third from the kick-off as Kouyate miscues and Antonio hits the inside of the post. Rice and Soucek are dominating the midfield and Fornals is working tremendously hard. Soucek shoots from distance to force a save from Gaita and then after great work from Benrahma Cresswell's mishit shot is re-directed on to the post by Antonio again. A bonus in the first half is hearing Cresswell call the ref a "bellend" on live TV as a throw-in is moved.

SMELLS LIKE TEAM SPIRIT

It's worrying that WHU haven't killed the game off in the first half and Palace nearly equalise at the start of the second half when Fabianski has to make a fine one-on-one stop against Zaha. 

Benrahma is having his best game yet for the Hammers, gliding past players and always looking to create something. A great dribble sets up Antonio whose shot is brilliantly parried by Gaita. Another great Said run and pass finds Coufal whose shot is blocked.

Thankfully the game is put to bed when Dawson, who is proving a really useful addition in both  boxes, heads home Bowen's corner. Next Coufal's shot is redirected past the post by Antonio who beats the ground in frustration. Michail could and probably should have had four goals — he's having one of those games where he couldn't hit a palatial door. 

With the game won Moyes brings on Fredericks, Yarmolenko and Noble to play out time. Somehow the ref adds on six minutes of extra time and it's a shame that sub Batshuayi gets ahead of Cresswell to score a consolation with the last kick. It should have been 5-1 rather than 3-2.

This has been a very impressive attacking away performance and the sense grows that Moyes is building something special. Even better is the fact that the Hammers go up to fourth place having won six games in a row. Michael the Whovian takes to Whats App to write that we are five points from safety. Next up is crisis club Liverpool. Irons!

Great moment for Afolayan as Hammers demolish Donny

West Ham 4 Doncaster 0 (FA Cup)

It's on to BBC iPlayer for this one as Fornals sweeps home in the second minute after a cross from Fredericks. News filters through on WhatsApp that a tardy Matt has missed the goal as he was fetching his and Lisa's jalapeno cheese toasties. Middle-class fans eh?

Lanzini misses a great chance after fine interplay with Benrahma and then it's the false nine's Yarmolenko's turn to fire wide when well-placed. A cavalier Moyes is playing three number tens in Benrahma, Fornals and Lanzini and the Hammers' midfield play is too much for Darren Moore's League One side. Number two arrives after a great through ball from Benrahma finds Yarmolenko, who scores with a lovely dink over the keeper.

Thankfully the result is never in doubt during the second half. The third is a Butler own goal after Mark Noble's corner causes confusion in the Doncaster defence. Soucek forces two good saves  from Balcombe with a great volley and then a header. Doncaster hit the bar through Matt Smith but before the Time Lord can find any more time and space he's subbed.

Moyes is able to bring on young striker Oladapo Afolayan for Soucek after 70 minutes. This results in the game's best moment as Fredericks bursts down the right and fires a cross-shot at Balcombe. Afolayan shows good instincts to tap home the rebound and produces a lovely smile after scoring on his debut. That's the way to celebrate Sebastien.

Benrahma tests the keeper with a free kick but it's a shame he can't get a tap-in to boost his confidence. But we get to see another two debuts in goalkeeper Trott and the promising Baptiste on the right. All in all a professional performance and rather enjoyable viewing. The Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's gaff in Kew Gardens remains on.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6 (Trott n/a); Fredericks 7 (Baptiste 6), Diop 6, Balbuena 6, Johnson 6; Fornals 7, Soucek 6 (Afolayan 7), Noble 6, Benrahma 7, Lanzini 6; Yarmolenko 7.  

Antonio takes Hammers up to seventh

West Ham 2 West Brom 1

The Moyes versus Allardyce derby (El Tactico?) is on BT Sport this time, with my pal Fraser presumably watching from behind the sofa. Dawson puts a free header wide from a West Ham corner early on and for most of the first half Big Sam's men defend with six back. There's very little space for Lanzini or Benrahma to create, though Coufal does fire just wide and Lanzini places a free kick on to the roof of the net. 

Big Sam has clearly told his men to fire every free kick straight into the West Ham box, but the defence stands up well to these rare threats. Just when it's starting to resemble trying to break down our bogey side FC Astra, the breakthrough comes in added time. Benrahma does a lot of twisting and turning to finally find space to play in a deep cross. Coufal fires it back hard across the goalmouth and Bowen chests it home. A good poacher's finish.

The second half sees the Hammers rapidly lose their hard-won lead as the midfield stands off, Dawson backs away and Pereira runs unchallenged to fire home from the edge of the area. The Irons up their game and exert some pressure. Antonio sets up Lanzini, whose shot is cleared off the line by O'Shea, before Rice fires just past the post. A well-worked quick free kick then sees Declan Rice shoot across the face of the goal.

Moyes makes what seems to be a negative double substitution taking off Benrahma and Lanzini. But it's actually quite a shrewd tactical move as Fornals gives the Hammers some extra zip in midfield and playing Bowen on the left and Yarmolenko wide on the right stretches the Albion defence.

RESPECTING THE POINTS

The winner arrives on 66 minutes when Cresswell fires in another cross from the left and Yarmolenko heads it back. Antonio has to move backwards to athletically spin and fire home a great finish. Matt, who has just spent most of his wages on a £25 BT pass, never doubted that Yarmy would come on and assist the winner.

It's a nervous end to the game as WBA show good team spirit to chase an equaliser. A tired Antonio has to be subbed for Noble and the Hammers play the final ten minutes without a striker. Albion very nearly snatch an equaliser late on when Furlong fires a cross just past Fabianski's post. BFS looks exasperated, not that we're gloating.

So another win without playing brilliantly. But this side is certainly resilient and we move up to seventh, above poor old Chelsea. Though this being West Ham, despair is never far behind elation. The post-match interviews reveal that the PL are investigating the non-selection of Robert Snodgrass after Big Sam claimed there was an agreement between the clubs not to play him. 

My immediate thought is of the Tevez affair, and that West Ham will qualify for Europe but then be punished by the PL with relegation. Though hopefully this is West Brom's problem not West Ham's. A similar non-selection controversy after Everton signed Tim Howard from Man United in 2007 (also under Moyes) ended with no sanctions.

But let's forget about Snodgate for the moment. This was another productive evening and we're grinding out results. West Ham are half-way through the season and three points off third place. At this rate we might even stay up. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Coufal 7, Dawson 6, Ogbonna 6, Cresswell 7; Benrahma 6 (Fornals 6), Rice 6, Soucek 5, Lanzini 6 (Yarmolenko 6); Bowen 7, Antonio 8 (Noble 5).

Striker light

Interesting to watch Sebastien Haller playing in his first two games for Ajax. His body language certainly looked very different. When he made a goal he wheeled away with his arm in the air and when he scored he looked delighted. None of which happened at West Ham, where he always looked disgruntled even when scoring, suggesting he regretted his move to the Irons. There's no doubt he has talent and he'll be good for a team dominating possession and challenging at the top of the league. But Haller really didn't suit playing for a team like WHU that plays on the break.

Without Haller we're down to one fit striker in Antonio. We really shouldn't be asking Michail and his dodgy hamstrings to complete three games in eight days tonight. The only alternative is 18-year-old Mipo Odubeko who came on for four minutes at Stockport. He might be promising but is he ready for a run in the Premier League?

It was bad planning to start the season with only two strikers in Antonio and Haller. Now Haller has gone it's essential to get another striker in as Antonio surely won't be fit for all the remaining 20 games. Bids for Sevilla striker En-Nesri and Montpellier's Laborde have already reportedly failed. Moyes can claim that he will work with what he's got if nothing comes off, but it would be unprofessional to try to get through half a season with just one striker. Even if it's a loan we have to get another body in the box.

Antonio edges it for the Hammers

West Ham 1 Burnley 0

In our never-ending round of TV companies it's on to Amazon Prime to watch this one. The Irons get off to a great start as Benrahma plays Bowen in with a fine through ball, he finds Fornals who crosses for Antonio to get behind Tarkowski and stroke home. The ball has taken a nick off Mee's head and Michail has anticipated well. 

Antonio does a backstroke swimming celebration, which Matt says is a reference to his old job as a life attendant (though not sure I'd trust him to save my life with those dodgy hamstrings). We later discover it's Michail's forfeit from a game of Call of Duty with Declan Rice.

It's a poor game, but West Ham look livelier with Benrahma playing well. A Cresswell own goal is correctly disallowed for offside, then Ogbonna is unlucky to head against the post after Rice flicks on a corner. The second half sees more West Ham chances as Rice fires a free kick just over, Bowen hits the side netting and Fornals has a shot blocked.

Moyes makes the strange decision to sub Benrahma for Lanzini and then replaces Bowen with Yarmolenko. Our subs make us worse while Burnley's new man McNeil causes problems with his crosses, including one which grazes the bar.

But Dawson and Ogbonna remain solid at the back and Rice is shielding well. It should be two as Antonio gets in a great touch and then Rice plays in Yarmolenko on the left. The leaden-footed Ukrainian dithers and takes a shot instead of squaring to Antonio. Matt's hairdryer is aimed at Yarmy on WhatsApp.

Lanzini blasts a late shot over the bar but the Hammers hold on against a largely toothless Burnley. Not a great performance but a resilient one and we'll take the points. Now it's Moyes versus Allardyce on Tuesday, which for my pal Fraser has all the horror potential of The Shining. 

We go eighth with 29 points, which is impressive at this stage of the season. Antonio has looked back to his best today, but it's now vital we make a signing to have more support for Michail's hamstrings up front. It's time to show some ambition as we're getting results with a painfully thin squad.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Coufal 6, Ogbonna 7, Dawson 7, Cresswell 6; Fornals 6, Rice 7, Soucek 6, Benrahma 7 (Lanzini 5); Bowen 6 (Yarmolenko 4), Antonio 8. 

Dawson produces late Cup fireworks

Stockport 0 West Ham 1 (FA Cup)

It's another evening in front of BT Sport wondering if West Ham can do it on a rainy Monday night in Stockport. Matt takes to WhatsApp to announce that as Dowie has been dropped we might stand a chance. Though resting Bowen, Soucek and Cresswell is still a risk. 

It's all West Ham early on as Benrahma twists to curl a shot on to the outside of a post and Yarmolenko fires just wide. Then, bizarrely, the game is stopped by Mike Dean as cacophonous fireworks explode outside the ground. Well, my pal Fraser has been demanding more entertainment from Moyes.

Once the game resumes West Ham are restricted to long-range efforts from Lanzini and Rice as the rain cascades down and creative outlets Benrahma and Lanzini struggle to break down the defence in the mud. While it's really not Yarmolenko's type of game and Antonio is off the pace too, not looking match fit against a pair of giant defenders. We also miss Cressy's delivery.

MONDAY MUDDY MONDAY

In the second half the game becomes a muddy stalemate as fifth division Stockport even force a few corners. On one side of the pitch the ball hardly moves so deep are the puddles. Statto Matt helpfully points out that we've played six games against non-league teams since WW2 and scored just eight goals, so this is nothing new.

Moyes has to act and brings on Bowen, Soucek and Cresswell. Finally the Hammers threaten to get a few more crosses in rather than go through the middle of a packed defence. 

The breakthrough comes in the 83rd minute with a short corner — possibly the only successful short corner West Ham have taken in their history says Fraser. Bowen and Rice exchange passes and the former crosses for Craig Dawson, arriving late, to send a powerful downward header past Hinchcliffe. 

There's time for a late three-minute cameo from 18-year-old striker Odubeko as the Hammers see the game out. The side hasn't played well, but the attitude to fight has been good from Rice and co. This is exactly the sort of cup-tie the old West Ham might have lost.

A nice touch at the end is the West Ham squad standing in the rain as Moyes tells them they have to traipse back across the mudpatch to get a shower.

So it's on to face Doncaster in the 4th round. But the magic of the FA Cup is surely being further destroyed by making the fifth round draw at the same time as the fourth round. We now know that if we beat Doncaster WHU have to go to Anfield or Old Trafford.

But still, for the time being the dream of a Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's house in Kew remains on.

Salad days

Good to see on twitter that Tomas Soucek was given a surprise portion of his favourite Czech potato salad by the West Ham canteen, having told Sky that he normally spends three weeks at Christmas eating potato salad. Whatever is in it, if it keeps him running for miles and miles, then let's order it for the rest of the team.

Haller set to move to Ajax and Snoddy to Albion

It seems that Sebastien Haller is about to move to Ajax for £20 million with the Hammers losing £25 million on Seb in a season and a half. So another piece of terrible business from West Ham. But really there's not a lot of choice. Haller just doesn't fit into Moyes' system (or indeed Pellegrini's) and doesn't have anything like the energy of Antonio if we're playing a lone striker.

He undoubtedly has talent as we saw with brilliant goals against Palace and Sheffield United, but as Moyes pointedly pointed out, he needs to get tap-ins as well as wonder goals and he hasn't been doing that. It's astonishing that WHU would pay £45 million for a striker without pace and his body language has looked all wrong, as if he'd rather be elsewhere. He doesn't even look excited when he scores, which is hard to understand. 

Haller might prosper if a team is built around him and he has a strike partner at Ajax, but he doesn't fit around the players West Ham currently have. What we have to do though is quickly sign a replacement as Antonio's hamstrings are more delicate than the state of US democracy. And please not Arnautovic — a great player on his day but a player who always move on when it suits him. 

It also seems Robert Snodgrass might be on the move to join Big Sam at West Brom. We've always liked a trier and its admirable the way he came back after being frozen out and loaned to Villa for a season. Snoddy whips in a great corner and free kick and scored a few memorable goals, most notably his half-volley against Crystal Palace. But at 33 you can understand that he might want to play every week, so good luck to him. He could be a fine signing for WBA. 

Ain't no apology like Lanzini

It's good that Manuel Lanzini has apologised for breaking Tier 4 rules at Christmas after being pictured alongside Spurs' Erik Lamela, Giovani Lo Celso and Sergio Reguilon. He tweeted:" I want to apologise for a bad mistake and I take full responsibility for my actions. I know people have made difficult sacrifices to stay safe and I should be setting a better example." 

Covid-19 has been hard on young people and it's difficult to tell footballers on £100k a week what to do, but players need to learn that they are part of wider society and have responsibilities. Hopefully Moyes has used the hairdryer on him as it could also have endangered the rest of the squad. And as for fraternising with Tottenham players — there's certainly no excuse for that!

Greatest team in the Galaxy

New Year's Day saw West Ham win at Everton followed by Graham O'Brien on Doctor Who wearing a West Ham scarf. Graham, played by real-life Arsenal fan Bradley Walsh, is the second Doctor Who companion to support the Irons, following Donna Noble who learned to whistle "up West Ham". Clearly the Irons are big among Gallifreyan fellow-travellers. 

Graham has now left the Doctor to live in Sheffield with grandson Ryan, where he will presumably be laughing at Sheffield United and watching West Ham win on Sky while also hoping the Doctor can change Lionel Scaloni's timeline in the 2006 FA Cup Final.

Soucek pounces to leave West Ham unbeaten all year

Everton 0 West Ham 1

The New Year begins with very little luck for the Hammers. First Ryan Fredericks is absent with Covid-19 and then Lucasz Fabianski is injured in the warm-up. 

Luckily for Darren Randolph the first half is a tepid affair with the sub goalie not being tested until Bernard's shot in the 44th minute. Both sides largely cancel each other out and the Hammers' only real effort is a Cresswell cross that is fired across the six-yard box. What is evident though is how well-coached West Ham now are at getting behind the ball and making the side hard to break down. Even Benrahma is working hard defensively.

With Richarlison nullified and Calvert-Lewin isolated the Irons start with greater attacking purpose in the second half and create a few chances. Declan Rice sends a great ball across the box that is just beyond Haller. Antonio comes on for the last 30 minutes and the Hammers instantly look more mobile up front. Cresswell whips in a free-kick that Pickford has to tip away and then Fornals fails to connect properly with a free header after being set up by Bowen. 

SALAD DAZE FOR EVERTON

Moyes makes a further two attacking substitutions by bringing on Yarmolenko and Lanzini on 73 minutes. Yarmolenko might lack speed, but he changes the game in the 86th minute with a clever pass inside to Soucek, who fires an instant snapshot against Pickford. The ball rebounds to Cresswell on the edge of the box whose shot is going well wide until the alert Soucek pokes it home. 

It's a nervous end to the game but Ogbonna, who has been magnificent throughout, continues to head every attack away and credit to his partner Dawson too for another solid game. The whistle blows and it's a great result at a ground we seemingly never win at. A great effort from the players in their third game since Christmas. 

In the after-match interview Tomas Soucek reveals that he would normally be eating potato salad at Christmas for three weeks, but is now looking forward to four days' off and a chance to revive his salad days. We're now tenth and just three points off third place. With home games to come against Burnley and West Brom there's now a chance to make real progress.