Perez double sees off Cardiff

West Ham 3 Cardiff City 1

It's in to the Clyde Best Cafe to meet Matt who is enjoying a halloumi baguette and recounting seeing the WHU kids lose on penalties in proper West Ham style. We're a little worried by the enforced defensive changes for tonight's side with Antonio as emergency right back and Ogbonna and Masuaku coming in. Then it's on to the London Stadium, where we pass a unicyclist on the Broadway (middle-class fans, eh?) and in the stadium meet Nigel and CQ fresh from a mini-break in Oxford, plus Fraser, Scott and Joe.

For the first 25 minutes West Ham play some good stuff, though often try one intricate pass too many. Antonio is getting forward a lot on the right and Arnie almost lobs the keeper following a fine ball by Anderson. Ogbonna's thumping header from a Snodgrass corner is tipped over the bar by Etheridge. Arnautovic shows brilliant pace to get past Bamba and beat the keeper only for Morrison to clear off the line. 

SUPER FABIANSKI
But having held out, Cardiff start to show more going forward. While the home defence wait for an offside flag Arnautovic makes a silly push on Hoilett and concedes a stupid penalty. Having seen WHU dominate the game so far the whole stadium starts to envisage a 1-0 home defeat. Thankfully Joe Ralls takes a weak penalty that Fabianski pounces on the ball to save easily. Lukasz even gets his own chant of, "Super Fabianski!"

Arnautovic pulls a hamstring trying to beat a defender. "That's him out for the season it's the West Ham way…" muses a pensive Matt. His humour isn't improved by Arnie being replaced with Perez rather than Carroll. "We're not going to win anything with Perez, and Masuaku on the pitch!" he declares. "Make a note of that," I suggest to Nigel. 

Matt is nearly proved right as Camarasa's free kick has to be punched away by Fabianski. At half-time Pellegrini needs to tell the Hammers to calm down and get back to playing football again. Fraser says confidently that if Cardiff can't score a penalty then they won't score at all. Nigel suggests that playing at the London Stadium isn't an advantage at all as we're better away. 


PERFECT PEREZ
The second half sees a big improvement. The breakthrough comes when Noble's chip is headed out by the Cardiff defence to Snodgrass. He dinks in a subtle ball that falls to Perez who volleys through the keeper. Cue much hilarity among our posse as Mystic Matt prepares to dine out on his misguided words. "I never doubted you Lucas," suggests the Vicar's Son. 

Five minutes later Noble finds Masuaku marauding down the left and slips a ball inside for Perez to fire home under the keeper, in another spectacular demolition of Matt's prophecy. He really deserves two assists. 

Seven minutes later Snodgrass gets a standing ovation from the East Stand when he takes a corner, a sign that the Irons fans are finally appreciating his workrate and left foot. Snoddy whips in a fine corner and Antonio gets between two defenders to glance home. That should do Michail's confidence some good. And it's the first time we've scored three goals in 12 minutes at Fortress London Stadium.

A CHRISTMAS CARROLL
The Hammers try hard for a fourth. Etheridge has to make a make a great double save from Rice and Ogbonna while Diangana comes on to perform an exciting cameo running at a tiring defence. He twice nearly scores, the second an excellent twist and turn well-saved by the keeper again. There's even time for an appearance from a rusty-looking Andy Carroll, who gets one header in and then shoots wildly over the bar.

There's some showboating from the lads and cries of "ole!" from the crowd as the second half is seen out in unusually relaxed fashion. Cardiff gain a flattering goal in the 95th minute as Ogbonna's header goes straight up in the air and the flapping keeper is partially impeded by Gunnarrson as Murphy heads home.

We retreat to the Refreshment Rooms (past the unicyclist again) for some welcome London Stout, Meantime and Blue Moon. Cardiff look a poor Premier League side, but it's now two wins in four days. Can we make it three against Palace?

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Antonio 7, Diop 5, Ogbonna 6, Masuaku 6; Rice 6, Noble 6, Snodgrass 7 (Diangana 7), Anderson 7, Arnautovic 6 (Perez 8), Hernandez 5 (Carroll 5).