Chicharito and Arnie see off Hornets

West Ham 2 Watford 0

The Overground is closed and so too is the Best Café, awaiting refurbishment. So it’s off to meet Matt and Lisa at Gerry’s Kitchen, which is closed, due to “operational issues”. So we head off for hasty noodles at Chopstix in the Stratford Centre, where my daughter Lola joins us as Matt rues the loss of Ayew. Then it’s through Westfield’s The Street to the London Stadium, which we half expect to find closed after a late bid for stewards fell through.

We meet Michael, fresh from a visit to Ken’s Café, Fraser who is ready to sack the boardroom, Scott, and Nigel, who’s been on a pre-match tour of hipster bars in Hackney Wick with his Watford-supporting cousin and has seen a German power metal band with The Gav. The game starts with a minute’s applause for Vic Keeble (Nigel asks the venerable Fraser if he saw him play) and the atmosphere remains positive and behind the team throughout. Hernandez goes down on his knees praying before kick-off, though hopefully not for a move.

Adrian has to make a smart early save from Mariappa. But it’s an encouragingly attacking line-up and the returning and newly-blonde Arnautovic makes an instant impact with a mazy dribble past four men in the box and is unlucky not to get a penalty. Antonio is finally being played on the left and is showing glimpses of his old speed. Arnie has an effort saved and Chicharito heads home Mario’s free kick only to be ruled marginally offside. There couldn’t have been more than one of his green eyes beyond the last defender.

The Hammers make the breakthrough on 38 minutes as Antonio leaves his fullback standing and crosses for Chicharito to head home, rising above a prone defender. Did he get away with a nudge? We'll take the goal, anyway.

The second half sees Watford have more possession, but Collins gets his head on most crosses, Zabaleta has another great game, Ogbonna makes a fine saving challenge and the Irons defend with discipline. Chicharito just fails to round the keeper on the break, and Deulofeu has a free kick parried by Adrian.

OFF THE MARKO

Referee Scott makes some dubious calls and Michael is reduced to Shakespearian insults, hollering, “Damn your eyes!” Two young boys in the row in front of us start imitating him, shouting “Damn your lies!” thinking perhaps it’s all part of thespian protest against the board. By the Burnley game Michael will have taught them the Complete Works.

The second goal comes at just the right time on 78 minutes. A short corner to Antonio is blocked and Cresswell fires in a low cross that rebounds off a defender straight back to Arnie, who shifts feet to prod home.

Moyes is, as ever, slow to use his subs as Antonio and Arnie tire and look in danger of getting injured again. Evra stays on the bench, but eventually Byram comes on and instantly almost gets on the end of a cross in the box. Hugill comes on for the last five minutes and immediately endears himself to the crowd after clattering a defender and manically closing down defenders.

It’s a welcome win after last week, and comes against a side that just scored four against no-hopers Chelsea. Then comes our trek to the Refreshment Rooms where no-one has told the two staff there’s a match on. We eventually get served as Michael the non-Whovian produces a photo of himself with Doctor Who legends William Russell and Carole Ann Ford taken at the Who Shop earlier that morning. Then it’s the most complicated round ever of a London Stout, Amstel,  Meantime, Blue Moon and Camden Hell’s.

So it’s two weeks off now and time for Lanzini to get closer to fitness. WHU are now on 30 points. Two wins and a few draws from the final 11 games should be achievable, we hope, while Moyes is talking of aiming for the top ten. And only a trip to Anfield next…

PLAYER RATINGS: Adrian 7; Zabaleta 8, Ogbonna 7, Collins 7, Cresswell 7; Noble 6, Kouyate 6, Mario 6 (Byram 6); Antonio 7, Arnautovic 8 (Rice n/a), Hernandez 7 (Hugill n/a).