Boa selector

Luis Boa Morte scores a fantastic penalty in a charity match. A great dummy or did he just fall over? Click on the link to view.

Somebody told me…

Are the Killers closet West Ham fans? Saw the Las Vegas band's excellent Wembley gig last night and during a specially written tribute to the stadium, the band flashed up a picture of Bobby Moore lifting the World Cup. Rumour suggests Mr Brightside might actually be a reference to supporting West Ham… and of course Sam's Town is surely where the Las Vegan Irons want to be.

Liverpool fail to play Moneyball?

Seems like Liverpool paid Andy Carroll a million quid to leave according to today's Daily Mirror. You do wonder if Brendan Rodgers is guilty of one of the sins mentioned in Michael Lewis's book Moneyball — undervaluing a £35 million asset because he doesn't fit his idea of what a footballer should look like.

Yes, he was overpriced initially and Carroll might appear to be a big lump, but he can also play on the ground and has a good left foot — he's more than the battering ram he might seem. Ironic, as Liverpool's owners are meant to be disciples of the Moneyball philosophy. Having spent all that money on Carroll it's amazing they only gave him a chance for one season (in which, despite having difficulties fitting in, he scored in the FA Cup semi-final and the Final and won a League Cup winner's medal).

Whitehead joins

We've certainly been busy in the market. Midfielder Danny Whitehead has now joined from non-league Stockport County for an undisclosed fee. He's presumably one for the future… and joins Rat, Adrian and Carroll.

Stick to the ponytail, Andy

Great striker… not so sure about the mullet!

At home to Cardiff

The fixtures are out! On August 17 West Ham play Cardiff at Upton Park in a repeat of the opening day fixture of the 2011-12 season, where we lost to a goal in the final seconds. Then we've got Newcastle away. We play Arsenal on Boxing Day and Man City away on the final Sunday in the game that will clinch our Champions League place, at least while my medication is still working.

Andy on the way

Andy Carroll has passed his medical at West Ham and after a month of waiting for the man it seems his move to the Hammers is finally on. On the strength of last season's showing he's a top striker who will keep West Ham at mid-table level or higher, and we've got a one-time £35 million player for £15 million.

However, the reported terms are somewhat worrying. We're paying £100,000 a week and offering a six year contract to a player who is rather injury prone, which is £46 million over six years. That's a huge commitment to a trophy signing for a club that is still heavily in debt.

Carroll looked to have a great attitude last season, but we are also gambling on his desire and hunger remaining for those six seasons. If it all goes well and we win a trophy he'll look a bargain, if it goes wrong for whatever reason, perhaps because of injury, distractions or Allardyce leaving, we may find ourselves with yet another player on a long-term contract and huge wages that the club can't shift (see Dyer, Llungberg, Upson, McCarthy, etc). Surely a three or four year contract would have been more prudent?

Still, it's a big show of commitment from Gold and Sullivan and I'll be excited to have Big Andy at the club.

Oh Carroll

The Evening Standard claims that the Andy Carroll deal could still go through, quoting David Gold as saying that it's now gone from 50/50 to 75/25 likely. We shall see. Meanwhile there's paper rumours we are after Demba Ba and Wilfried Zaha on loan, but can't really see Chelsea or Man United releasing either player.

We are the champions!

We would have won the Premiership if only goals scored by English players counted, according to this piece in the Daily Mail. West Ham scored 45 goals, with 32 bagged by Englishmen such as Kevin Nolan and Andy Carroll. Is it too late to get this alternative league table ratified as the official one? First the World Cup and now the Premier League. Click on the link to read.

Waiting game

By the way, the late Tom Sharpe wrote a novel in the time it's taken Andy Carroll to decide whether to join West Ham… He completed his debut novel Riotous Assembly in three weeks in 1971.

Mido retires

Following the departure of Benni McCarthy, another former West Ham legend, Mido, has retired at 30. He ended up on the bench at Barnsley, so it's hard to believe he once did the double at Ajax. He looked good at Spurs initially, but by the time he signed for us looked slower than Boris Johnson after a Spectator lunch. Will never forget that penalty he had saved at Everton, one of the feeblest West Ham have ever taken, though believe it or not I did  see him hit the post at Burnley on his debut. From then on it was all downhill...

Not drinking at O'Neil's?

I'm a little disappointed to see Gary O'Neil on WHU's list of released players. He was outstanding towards the end of last season in a new holding role and kept Mark Noble out of the side. O'Neil was the star man in season-changing results at Stoke at Liverpool. Though apparently the club might still come to some kind of late agreement. Can see why the club might be offering reduced terms as O'Neil's had a career-threatening injury and is now three years older, but I would have thought he is the sort of squad player we need to keep.

Benni retires

Jeremy Nicholas reports that Fat Benni McCarthy has today retired from football. Thought he did that at West Ham…

Adrian's wall

According to Jack Sullivan on twitter we've signed 26-year-old Real Betis goalkeeper Adrian on a free transfer. Adrian will give Jussi some competition and might be his ultimate successor. Interestingly his full name is Adrian San Miguel which makes him the first West Ham goalkeeper to be named after a lager. I've also been trying to think of any other one-named West Ham players apart from Adrian. There was Adrian and Portugeezer Dani. Any others come to mind?

Alvaro bid rejected

Looks like Andy Carroll isn't coming as West Ham have bid £14.5m bid for Sevilla striker Alvaro Negredo. The bid has been turned down, but it looks like most of our budget is going to go on on that elusive striker. Negrado scored 31 goals last season so clearly knows where the net is.

Doctor Sam?

Strangely no-one has mentioned Big Sam as being in the frame to take over from Matt Smith as the Doctor in Doctor Who. After all, WHU already has links with the BBC via The Apprentice. Big Sam would surely make a fine irascible Doctor, chewing gum as he hollered at Matt Jarvis to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. After all, he's good with stats and knows all about perception and reality. And Arsene Wenger often accuses him of taking football back in time… The way he argues with fourth officials would certainly scare the Daleks. And how about Karren Brady as his note-taking companion?