More defensive howlers cost Hammers

West Brom 4 West Ham 2

Another shocker at the Hawthorns as we become the first team since the dawn of time to concede four to a Tony Pulis side. More comment to come after the application of smelling salts…

Having watched Match of the Day, we conceded four terrible goals. The penalty was a crazy hand ball from Masuaku and for the second Ogbonna should have hit row Z, while Kouyate and Collins didn't get tight enough on their men. Masuaku lost his man for the third and the fourth was ridiculous with ten men up for a corner allowing an easy breakaway. At least we showed a little spirit to pull back two goals and Payet hit the angle with a brilliant free kick, while Collins also went close. But it was very worrying defensively. If we play like this we'll be in a relegation fight.

We shouldn't be losing games where we have 71 per cent possession and 23 shots (though only five on target). Antonio is the joint top scorer in the Premier League but it's all undone by our defensive woes and lack of protection in midfield. Noble was hauled off at half-time and Kouyate hasn't matched last season's standards. Surely Obiang deserves a game in front of the back four? Byram and Reid missed the game, apparently with knocks. Nortdveit doesn't look the answer at right back and we still badly miss Aaron Cresswell. Winston Reid will surely come back in and Arbeloa, Oxford and Randolph might also be in contention after the last two weeks. We have to find a way of stopping the goals against us and no-one should be undroppable.

Reasons to be cheerful?

After a testing week perhaps it's time to be positive. Slowly West Ham are getting their strongest side on the pitch and for 40 minutes we played some great stuff against Watford. Payet and Lanzini will be getting fitter and Zaza is a quality striker who will improve once he's bedded in. Though that's only of use if we can get our hunger back. 

The capitulation against Watford reminded me of the way the side fell apart against Swansea at the end of last season. We forgot to do the basics, or as Slaven says in tonight's Evening Standard, we forgot about "playing all the time like it is the last minute of the final game of your life."

It's surely time to bring Ogbonna back into defence, while Byram's confidence looks shot at right-back. He's backing off attackers and making basic errors, though he hasn't been helped by the more experienced players around him. Arbeloa is earmarked to make his debut against Accrington Stanley and when fit will surely get a run at right-back, though Byram is still one for the future.

Ironically, what we need at West Brom tomorrow is a Big Sam-style performance, winning the percentages against Pulis's men and sneaking a 0-0 or 1-0. Bilic expects a "big-time" response and let's hope we get one. 

Old Bill do a runner…

This stadium stewarding business is now becoming less teething problems and more like a case for a new set of dentures. It has emerged today that the police are refusing to help inside the London Stadium as an Airwave radio system has not been installed. Did they have one of those when they used to tiptoe through the North Bank confiscating high-leg steel-toecapped DM boots? 

There will be a police presence outside the stadium and the police will enter if there is a serious disturbance. The Airwave radio might be ready by December, apparently, which leaves E20 and West Ham halfway up the River Lea without a paddleboad. It's a bit like a footballing Lord of the Flies. Leave enough fans poorly stewarded with no police in a new ground and see how long it takes to kick off. 

There's a good overview of the situation in today's Guardian, with some quotes from Knees Up Mother Brown. Most of the problems are occurring at the ends in the Bobby Moore and Trevor Brooking Stands. Whereas everyone in the old Bobby Moore Stand used to stand up all game, now the situation is complicated by the club having sold 25,000 family tickets. Clearly there's been little planning in how to separate families and old-style Bobby Moore Standers. A designated singing area where people could tacitly agree to stand might have helped. 

At least the club is now trying to help families with children who can't see to swap to different parts of the stadium. Certainly where we sit in the East Stand there's been no problem with standing so far. If like-minded people are seated with each other then some of the problems might be solved. Otherwise we'll need Billy Bonds to sort it out…

Fighting among ourselves?

Plenty of coverage in the media about the isolated disturbances in the crowd on Saturday. There was a minor fracas behind me in the East Stand, which seemed to be about rudeness. Although a lot of people stood up and tried to calm the incident the response from stewards was very slow, even if it did prove to be all bluster. 

Many of the stewards look lightweight and appear to be more used to controlling concerts rather than high-profile football matches. Certainly the segregation between the West Ham fans and Watford fans looked woeful, with just a few empty seats and some overworked stewards dividing the fans. And not having any police presence in the stadium seems a huge risk.

The Daily Mail gives quite a good overview, revealing that West Ham don't control the stadium security, it's the E20 partnership, set up by the London Stadium Legacy Corporation and Newham Council. E20 employs the Orwellian-sounding stadium operator LS185 (actually named after Britain's medal tally) to steward the stadium.

Leaks on twitter suggest that experienced stewards from Upton Park are being sidelined and you really hope that the new stewards are properly paid, on proper contracts and fully motivated rather than the cheapest option. Where fans are standing up it's clearly best if stewards who know the fans get involved first.

It's inevitable there will be some early problems with the new stadium, but this clearly needs sorting fast. I'd say it's ok to stand up if there's a goal or near miss, but if fans behind you object to standing up all game then don't do it. Though there are also reports of heavy-handed stewarding and unnecessary expulsions, so perhaps a period of calm is needed on all sides. At least the club and E20 are now having urgent talks.

And while we're at it, could everybody stay in their seats for 90 minutes. We should support our team for the whole match, whatever the score. We're not Arsenal. Please, no more fire drills.

West Ham fail to plug Watford Gap

West Ham 2 Watford 4

The news in the Clyde Best Café is that Nigel likes the grub and is muttering approvingly about coffee machines and the café having a gents, as Michael the Keeper of the Moral Compass accuses him of possible disloyalty to the memory of Ken’s Café. My daughter Nell still thinks the chips were better in Ken’s but seems happy with waitress service. Michael's been in his lock-up and presents Nigel with a new WHU lanyard, attached to a claret and blue stick of rock in the shape of a child's dummy. We then go the backstreet way to the stadium, discovering a new pub the Carpenters Arms and feeling relief at being off the concrete walkways.

Inside the stadium Steve the Cornishman is away starting his new job as a postman (he’s rumoured to be better at delivery than Payet), while Alison and Scott are up the Empire State Building in New York. So we’re joined by Alison’s sister Roz, fresh from her Laindon Hills golf course, and her pre-hipster bearded son Joe. We’re joined by Fraser and Matt, who arrives after kick-off having taken in WHU’s Premier League 2 side’s 2-2 draw with Wolves at noon and the Under-18s 2-2 draw the previous evening.

FIESTA FOOTBALL

It all starts off with 40 minutes of great football. Zaza’s overhead releases Antonio who draws a save from Gomes. The keeper then stops Payet’s follow-up effort. Watford threaten going forward though, as Masuako’s intervention denies Ighalo.

WHU take the lead after five minutes when the prolific Antonio heads in Payer’s corner. Janmaat hits his own post, Lanzini shoots with a rabona flick and Antonio has several attempts before West Ham double their lead on 33 minutes. Payet produce the assist of the decade to cross with a rabona leaving Antonio with a simple header. The whole ground rises in a chorus of “We’ve got Payet!” and it’s the best atmosphere we’ve had at the Olympic Stadium.

“Dad, have West Ham turned into a good team?” asks a puzzled Nell.

”Steady on, we can still lose this,” I quip, secretly looking forward to a tonking of the Hornets.

West Ham’s collapse is heralded by two blokes behind us is having a handbags confrontation over impoliteness when asked to move. Seems we’ve recruited a few Herberts among our new fans.

CALAMITY JAMES

On 41 minutes Ighalo twists and turns past Byram before getting in a shot that deflects into the net off Collins. it gets worse for James. As we reach the second minute of added time he tries to head a routine long ball to Adrian but misses the onrushing keeper, giving it straight to Troy Deeney, who scores with a clever chipped finish. Adrian must also share the blame for rushing from his goal, but Collins really should have aimed for Row Z.

“Well, we’ve silenced the crowd,” I mutter. Forty minutes of domination ruined in six minutes.

Watford have all the psychological impetus in the second half. They score a third as Reid backs off Pereyra who crosses for Capoue to chest and volley home off the post — Adrian gets a hand to it and should possibly have saved it. That’s three in 12 minutes. Heads really go down. Watford surge forward and after 63 minutes West Ham appeal for a foul on Payet, as Watford play on and Holbas fires home with a shot that Adrian should save.

Bilic doesn’t react either. With Payet and Lanzini tiring and huge haps in front of the defence he doesn’t bring on Obiang or Nordveit to offer a midfield shield.

STUNG BY HORNETS

Watford nearly get more as Kaboul has a goal disallowed for offside and Pereyra dribbles right through our defence only to be foiled by Adrian. Sub Calleri is wrongly ruled offside when he heads against the post, but we offer little in the way of a fightback. And we should never have sold James Tomkins.

It’s so bad Matt doesn’t even get angry, instead, possibly suffering a system error after three games in two days, insisting we take the positives, like we kept it down to four.

The ground is half-empty at the end. An absolutely bizarre game has left the crowd stunned, though the terrible defending has at least made me forget all about moving stadiums. As Slaven says after the game, we won’t win any games defending like that. In mitigation, Lanzini, Payet and Zaza were playing their first full games of the season and Watford have some good players, but it’s all still very worrying. Nigel muses sagely that all managers are only ever six games away from a crisis. We haven’t played well for a full 90 minutes all season.

THIS IS MORDOR

At Hackney Wick Overground we spot Doctor Who actor Donald Sumpter looking as if he wants to disappear into his Confession Dial.

On Facebook Brian Williams, author of Nearly Reach the Sky, publishes a picture of Westfield with the word ‘Mordor’. Continuing the Tolkein-esque theme it seems our defence went on an unexpected journey. A worrying afternoon.

PLAYER RATINGS: Adrian 4, Byram 4 (Tore n/a), Collins 4, Reid 5, Masuaku 5; Payet 6, Noble 4 (Calleri 5), Kouyate 5, Lanzini 6, Antonio 7; Zaza 5 (Fletcher 5).

Simply the Best

Looking forward to reading The Acid Test, the new autobiography of Clyde Best, published by deCoubertin. The former Hammer was one of the first black players in English football and scored 47 goals in 146 games for the Hammers. Hammers in the Heart will be reviewing it presently. In the introduction Harry Redknapp says: "These days there's so many fantastic black footballers but they all owe a debt of gratitude to Clyde. He was English football's first real black role model. To adapt as he did was incredible. How he didn't run home after two weeks, after leaving that lifestyle, I just don't know."

Another World Cup winner at West Ham

Just back from a break in Paris as we're now turning our thoughts back to the Premier League after Big Sam says England just need to be more clinical. Alvaro Arbeloa was a shock signing on deadline day. It's not often a player moves from Real Madrid to West Ham (though Julien Faubert once went the other way on loan). Arbeloa's 33 and was only a fringe player last season, but he's a World Cup winner and has won the Champions League twice with Real and has Premier League experience with Liverpool — experience of winning trophies that will prove invaluable in the dressing room. Sounds like it will take him a few weeks to get match fit, but with West Ham now have good options at right back. It seems the new stadium is already having an effect on player recruitment, as it's doubtful we'd have attracted Arbeloa or Zaza without the offer of 60,000 gates.

Enner Valencia has gone to Everton on loan and he's clearly a talented player, but always looked lightweight in the PL  The early promise of that thunderbolt against Hull and a few headed goals never materialised and you wonder if he might be more suited to playing in Italy or Spain. Diego Poyet has been released after being eclipsed by bigger signings, but the best news is that we have kept Dimitri Payet. If we can get Payet, Lanzini, Zaza and Arbeloa on the pitch together then things look a lot more optimistic.