Taking goals to Newcastle

Newcastle United 0 West Ham United 2 (two)

It's over to Lola and Michael's flat to watch the expected drubbing at St James' Park. On WhatsApp Mystic Matt is surprised that Loppy has dropped Guido Rodriguez leaving us with no specialist defensive midfielders against in-form Newcastle. Still, it's brave, or possibly foolhardy, to bring in Soler to play alongside Soucek in central midfield with talk of Julen having two games to save his job.

There's an early scare when Izak has a goal correctly disallowed for offside. But there's something different about this West Ham side as the team run hard and steam into tackles. After ten minutes West Ham win a corner and from Emerson's dead ball Soucek loses the Toon defence to head powerfully home. Blimey. It's West Ham's first goal from a corner this season.

A predictable Newcastle onslaught ensues. Willock fires wide and when Todibo miscues to set up Gordon, Fabianski produces a great reflex save. But the Irons are also taking the game to Newcastle and countering at pace. Paqueta is playing deeper alongside Soucek and Soler is busy throughout and always ready to try a shot, curling one effort narrowly wide after a good move. He certainly looks more dynamic than Guido. Bowen is tireless and Antonio is proving a handful for the Newcastle defence. Micky ends up with a ripped shirt and has to change into a new one on the pitch, revealing an enviable set of abs to the nation.

Shortly before the interval Guimaraes chips through to Isak who fires just wide of the post, while Bowen tests Pope after a decent breakaway.

AARON WAN-BISSAKA GOAL MACHINE

More APA is required at half-time as I'm convinced we'll still lose and it's hard to concentrate on the aubergine and potato dish on my lap. Gordon fires across the goalmouth as the second half starts. But what sort of thing is happening here? Paqueta robs Guimaraes and sets Bowen free, Jarrod passes inside to the underlapping Wan-Bissaka and Aaron fires into the far corner for his first goal in four years. Incredible. 

Nicola wants to know why I'm still stressed and I explain it's the hope I can't take. But Newcastle look strangely jaded and West Ham defend stoutly thanks to Kilman and co. Bowen and Soucek test Pope with on-target shots. Todibo goes off injured and there's a scare when sub Mavropanos puts his arms around Wilson and Newcastle shout for a penalty. That one could have gone either way.

Danny Ings comes on for Antonio and there's even a late sighting of Andy Irvine. Despite six minutes of added time the Irons control the game and the 3200 away fans in the gods enjoy a series of "oles" as the Hammers play keepball. 

It's a very unexpected win. It's the best we've seen from the manager and also players like Soler and Wan-Bissaka. Paqueta was looking more like the player of old too. Most importantly the side seemed to work really hard for each other and one very impressive stat is that West Ham covered 120.7 kilometres, the longest of any side in a Premier League match this season. Two weeks with the players has allowed Loppy to somehow inspire the lads with a work ethic. It's also worth noting that West Ham had six shots on target as opposed to the home side's two. 

This was much much better. Let's hope it's the turning point of our season. Irons!

RIP: Steve Bacon

Sad to hear of the death of Steve Bacon. There can't be any other football photographer who was so well known. Steve had his own  chant of "There's only one Stevie Bacon!" from the fans and inspired Phill Jupitus to pen the very funny Clicker Bacon cartoon in Fortune's Always Hiding fanzine. Clicker even had a book published by Biteback in 2012, There's Only One Stevie Bacon. 

Here's what my review at the time said. "As club photographer for 30 years Bacon travelled on the team bus and roomed with the team, so he has lots of juicy inside info on the banter, boozing and lads’ shenanigans, though all told from the viewpoint of a Plaistow-born West Ham fan. We learn that Lou Macari, whom Bacon got on well with, asked Stevie’s advice before signing Colin Foster. He clearly didn't get on with Alan Pardew and writes, “I’ve never known a more arrogant man in my life”. Pards didn’t get off to a good start with Steve when he announced at a hotel dinner that if Bacon’s order looked nicer, “I’m having that!” Never come between a growing lad and his grub. The book recounts a terrified Paolo Di Canio refusing to fly, Harry Redknapp covering Don Hutchison is sandwiches, John Moncur leaping naked from lockers during team talks and Igor Stimac arranging for the players to shoot machine guns in a Croatian wood while playing in the UEFA Cup."

Let's hope Stevie gets some fine shots of Bobby Moore and co from the great touchline up above.

Jarrod Bowen's on fire for England

Great to see Jarrod Bowen bag his first goal for England against Ireland last night. It took him all of 28 seconds on the pitch to score with a fine strike from the edge of the box. My pal Mystic Matt was there too and in fine form, predicting that Bowen would never score for England as Jarrod came on. Bowen also forced a good save form Kelleher. Jarrod had a couple of decent cameos in the Euros (he'd have had an assist of Kane hadn't hit the bar) but once Lee Carsley took charge, Chelsea's Noni Madueke was promoted above him. Madueke is undoubtedly a player of potential, but Jarrod is more experienced and better defensively. He deserves some starts under Thomas Tuchel.

Drawing drawing West Ham

West Ham 0 Everton 0

It's a cultured start to the day as walking up Highbury Park we encounter a pop-up art show by Gail Seres-Woolfson, Peter Carty the author of Art, and then best-selling author David Nicholls, hoping that One Day West Ham will win. 

The culture continues in the Best Cafe where polymaths Matt and Lisa have returned from a mini-break in Aberystwyth, though they were gutted to miss Aberystwyth versus Newtown. After unexpectedly quick service we head to the stadium to meet Highway Stars Nigel and CQ, who have just seen Deep Purple at the O2. Land of Hope and Glory is played on the PA before The Last Post marks Remembrance Sunday. 

The only problem is that the football then starts. It's a game of misplaced passes. A West Ham corner results in a break from Everton and only a brilliant saving tackle from Summerville prevents the Toffees taking the lead. Wan-Bissaka keeps playing it to Everton and the Hammers build-up is ponderous at best. "I'd have more fun poking needles in my eyes," suggests the fan in front of us. 

Soucek's dawdling in the box when he could shoot seems to sum up the lack of confidence in the side. Not much happens till just before half-time when Antonio's strong run sets up Bowen for a low shot that Pickford parries. Then Antonio is set up by Bowen and almost rounds the keeper to win a corner.

The second half sees a marginal improvement. Bowen shoots wide and then a determined run by Summerville sets up Rodriguez for a powerful low shot that Pickord turns away. At the other end Fabianski has to tip over a header from Lindstrom. 

Sub Soler looks a neat passer in a more central role and Ings add something in the second half too. Paqueta plays a great through ball to Summerville who hits the post. More like the old Lucas that. Then a good run by Soler sees Ings test Pickford with a low shot. With virtually the final kick Ings does well to bring he ball down and take a return pass from Paqueta before seeing Pickford brilliantly parry his deflected effort. A poor game but the Irons had the better chances.

Strangely Nigel regards my view that at least we kept a clean sheet as a tad Panglossian. While Michael, away in Dorset, doesn't seem to believe the WhatsApp messages saying it was a scintillating feast of football. 

We retreat to the Eagle where Sinead has Whitstable Bay ale in the fridge this week and the finest Irish whiskey for Matt. There's something of a Pink Floyd festival on the jukebox with CQ admiring the bass line of Money and Nigel confessing to be Comfortably Numb after WHU's performance. Watching the Sky game Mystic Matt announces that "Man City will win 1-0" just as Brighton score twice.

Everton looked fairly poor today apart from their defence, so it's two points lost and not a great performance to inspire faith in the new gaffer. Though on the other hand WHU were a bit unlucky at times and any sign of defensive solidity is welcome. Newcastle away really will be a test though in two weeks' time.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Wan-Bissaka 5 (Coufal 5), Kilman 6, Todibo 5, Emerson 6;Rodriguez 6 (Soler 6), Soucek 5, Paqueta 6; Bowen 7, Antonio 6 (Ings 7), Summerville 7 (Guilherme n/a).

Not looking good

Well, it's a five-game ban for Kudus, which is probably better than expected as he fitted three red card incidents into one. Alvarez is suspended. Fullkrug is still likely to be out for several weeks and to worsen our misery Richard Keys has suggested Frank Lampard as West Ham's next manager. Perhaps BFF could employ Paul Ince and Jermain Defoe as his assistants? Now Jacob Steinberg says that Lopetegui could be sacked if the Irons lose to Everton. And a Sean Dyche team will relish a physical tussle with a team low on confidence. Apart from that it's all going to plan.

Alvarez red card helps Forest fire three past hapless Hammers

Nottingham Forest 3 West Ham 0

Having lost at the City Ground two seasons running this always felt like a difficult game. Playing the second half with Wan-Bissaka and Emerson as wing-backs had worked against Man United, so Lopetegui opts for three centre backs with Dinos joining Kilman and Todibo. Soucek has a virus so it's a not-very-creative twin midfield axis of Alvarez and Rodriguez, while Jimmy Summerville finally starts.

Forest look livelier from the start though and after half an hour the breakthrough comes. Moreno isn't tracked as he gets down the left. Dinos does that silly defending with his arms behind his back thing as Moreno crosses for the in-form Chris Wood to head home. The big striker has lost Todibo and Alvarez is also standing there with his arms behind his back. So much for the three centre backs keeping it tight.

The crucial action happens just before the break. West Ham finally come up with a shot on goal as Kilman heads back and Paqueta's decent strike is hooked off the line by Wood. Alvarez has already been booked for a needless shirt-tug and as Forest break, lunges in on Elanga. He appears to play a bit of the ball but is out of control and receives a second yellow. That really was a stupid tackle to make when on a yellow and it's Eddy's second red this season. He's a good player but is becoming a liability. To compound the misery Alvarez can't remember where the tunnel is and goes to the wrong end of the stadium, much to the amusement of the home fans.

Loppy brings on Soler and Antonio for his muscle, though once again poor old Summerville is hooked. West Ham improve initially but the game is over when Hudson-Odoi's shot curls through a packed penalty area and above Fabianski's hands, having taken a slight nick off a defender. It's three when Todibo can't clear effectively and Aina puts a screamer into the top corner.

Yates has a goal disallowed for offside and only a couple of brilliant saves from Fabianski keep the score down. Even the fact that Matt and Lisa have gone on a pilgrimage to Hereford Cathedral in a bid to locate the spiritual home of Jarrod Bowen can't save us. Meanwhile in the Nigel derby it's ended Felixstowe 2 Brentwood 1, so at least someone is happy. 

After ten games it's starting to develop into a very worrying season. There appears to be a discipline problem at the club with Kudus and Alvarez getting sent off in two of the last three games, there's no date for Fullkrug's return and the three new signings don't seem to have improved the defence. We should at least be giving Forest a game. More of this and Lopetegui is in trouble.