The last home game of the season sees Matt, Lisa, Nigel and myself taking luncheon at the Best Cafe. The egg, chips and beans is good as is Matt's halloumi baguette, but as ever the ordering is a little confused and after receiving no toast or bread our group ends up with a year's supply of toast ready for next season.
We arrive in plenty of time to get a programme and join Fraser and Michael in the stadium along with Scott and Joe, representing retiring West Ham legend Alison. Danny Dyer channels Ray Winstone's East End geezer voice in a video tribute to Mark Noble. We hold up our plastic flags to make a giant '16' in honour of Mark as the teams come out. The atmosphere is suitably raucous to mark Nobes' final home match.
City ping the ball about but early on but West Ham make two chances. Ederson has to tip away Bowen's dangerous cross and Dawson heads over from Fornals' cross. After that City dominate possession but apart from a Rodri shot deflected wide by Dawson City don't create that much against a disciplined back line. There's a good moment when the linesman goes down after running into Laporte and is greeted with a chant of "Are you Grealish in disguise?"
Antonio is causing problems with his strength and speed but it's clear that Anthony Taylor is giving him absolutely nothing. It's in the 24th minute that the title race is blown open. Fornals lobs it over the top and Bowen has got behind City's emergency centre back Fernandinho. He rounds Ederson and chips home from an acute angle to cause scenes of mass jubilation. Rarely can so many Scousers have been celebrating a West Ham goal. "West Ham are Massive!" point out the London Stadium fans.
JARROD BOWEN'S ON FIRE
Incredibly it's two just before the break as Soucek wins a header, Antonio does a delicate chip and Bowen is behind the back line again, this time shooting low through the legs of Fernandinho and past the unsighted Ederson. It's Jarrod's 18th goal of the season. The game is going so well that Nigel declines to eat his lucky banana at half-time.
It's a big test of City's title credentials and the second half sees them attack from the kick-off. The goal City needs comes four minutes into the half as a header reaches the edge of the box and Grealish fires into the ground and Craig Dawson, the ball deflecting over the helpless Fabianski.
Fabianski has to save smartly from Bernardo Silva but even at 2-1 the Hammers still have chances. After uncertain defending Bowen wriggles through to fire into the side netting when he could have squared it to Rice. The crucial moment comes when Fernandinho plays a terrible back pass and Antonio is through — but Michail lobs it wide when he might have been better rounding the keeper.
Mystic Matt predicts that Fabianski will be booked for time-wasting seconds before he is. The seemingly inevitable equaliser comes when City win a dubious free kick on the left after the lightest of contact from Antonio on Laporte. Mahrez fires it in and Coufal gets it all wrong and glances a header into his own net. Vladimir takes a long time to get up off the turf. "We're not really here!" sing the away fans.
Mark Noble comes on for the last 15 minutes in an attempt to calm things down in midfield. Kevin de Bruyne gets a chorus of, "You're just a shit Mark Noble!"
City might have all the possession and Grealish is a constant threat, but the Irons nearly make it three with a great move. Antonio crosses from the left, Soucek nods it down and Bowen's volley is deflected just wide of the post.
Five minutes from time it seems City are going to complete their comeback. Anthony Taylor hasn't given it but VAR intervenes as Jesus goes down after a challenge from Dawson. Thankfully Mahrez takes the penalty rather than De Bruyne. It's a good height for Fabianski and he makes a fine save to resounding cheers. After a nervous four minutes of added time the Hammers hold on for a deserved point.
As Wolves have only drawn it means the Irons are guaranteed European football for the second successive season based on their league position for the first time in the club's history. That's massive progress from being relegation contenders three seasons ago.
HE'S WEST HAM THROUGH AND THROUGH
It's now the Mark Noble Show. He gets the full treatment of three banners held up by balloons and a giant Noble shirt on the centre circle. Trevor Brooking makes a short speech and presents Nobes with a framed Number 16 shirt. Mark says he hopes he's done us proud and he has. Will there ever be a one-club player at West Ham again? He gets a little tearful as he accepts the love from 60,000 fans.
After that the squad come on for a lap of honour. Declan Rice plays with the toddlers, Yarmolenko says goodbye and David Moyes comes over to give Fraser a wave. We then head to the Refreshment Rooms to discuss the season over Meantime and perfect our search for the perfect pub. A scouting trip to the Eagle in Leyton is the latest summer plan. Michael heads off early to the Barbican to see Mahler, whom we believe composed West Ham Are Massive. It's been a cracking game with a great atmosphere at the end of a long season and we are still in with a chance of sixth if WHU win at Brighton. Irons!
PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 8; Coufal 5, Dawson 7, Zouma 7, Cresswell 6; Rice 8, Soucek 8, Lanzini 6 (Noble 6, 10 for his career), Fornals 7 (Johnson n/a); Bowen 9, Antonio 7 (Yarmolenko n/a).
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