Wolves savaged by rampant Hammers

West Ham 4 (four) Wolves 0

After a series of phone calls to various West End pubs it's off the Leicester Arms where Nigel has managed to book a table and in a blatant bid to make the blog has purchased a West Ham face mask for a £15 from a shop in Richmond. 

Our season-ticket gang are reunited with appearances from Matt, busy dispensing Rory Gallagher cds, Fraser who has come all the way from Ilford and Michael the Thespian (aka Sir Donald Wolfit). There's also a cameo from my pal Jackie who last witnessed a 1-1 draw at home to Everton but has strangely come back for more.

The beer costs £6 and there's no commentary, but at least the pub isn't packed and it does a decent pint of Beavertown Gamma Ray. We go into the match feeling a point would be a good result, but from the kick-off it's apparent that the side — managed remotely by David Moyes — are getting stuck into tackles, with Cresswell and Masuaku working hard to nullify Traore.

Antonio looks lively again and on 17 minutes is felled in the centre circle. Fornals takes a clever quick free kick to release Bowen who cuts inside and unleashes a lovely left foot shot into the corner. Blimey. 

The Hammers press for the rest of the half. Balbuena looks comfortable replacing Diop at the back and Arthur Masuaku is prospering as a wing-back. Arthur's cross reaches Soucek who forces a save from Rui Patricio. The rampaging Czech then forces a brilliant save from the keeper as he gets his head to a lofted cross from Antonio. 

JAROD MARCH

A key moment comes when Antonio's strength bamboozles Cody and co. Michail's shot is parried and falls to Fornals in front of goal only for the Spaniard to blast over the bar. Neves has a shot saved, but we reach half-time still in the lead, though we do wonder if we'll regret that missed chance from Fornals. Nigel decides to order a lucky baconburger. 

Frredericks has to be replaced by Jonson early in the second half but even that doesn't disrupt West Ham. Antonio powers past Cody on the left and looks up to find Fornals on the edge of the box. Pablo fires a shot against the base of the post and the predatory Bowen drives home the rebound.

It seems that like us West Ham have been boosted by Gamma Rays. On 66 minutes Creswell's corner is met by the head of Soucek and deflects in off the arm of Jimenez — though there's surely a case for giving it to Soucek. 

As the late Graham Taylor might have put it: "What sort of thing is happening here?" 

HE'S BETTER THAN LUKAKU!

"Perhaps Moyes should stay at home more often," suggests Fraser. Another superb cross from Masuaku is prodded wide by Bowen when he should really have completed his hat-trick. Nigel WhatsApps Lisa to tell her that Matt has been praising Arthur. Then in the 93rd minute Matt decides to go to the gents with a warning not to miss a goal. Sure enough, Haller starts and finishes the move. Masuaku crosses and Sebastien doesn't even have to jump to head past Rui Patricio. Astonishing.

The final whistle blows and we wonder when was the last time West Ham mullered a really good team. Nigel's Wolves-supporting pal Adrian texts to say his men have been undone by Antonio.

There's still no sound for the post-match analysis, but seeing a graphic labelled "West Ham Commitment" makes us wonder when that phrase was last used. We get another round in via table service. Fraser wonders how he is going to smoke four cigars once we leave. Michael goes into a Proustian reverie recalling Masuaku's Messi-like first-half performance against Chelsea when we beat them one-nil. 

It's been worth dodging coronavirus to see a four-goal win we muse as they chuck us out at ten pm. And we have now found the luckiest pub ever. One game, one clean sheet and one four-goal win. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6: Fredericks 6 (Johnson 6), Balbuena 6, Ogbonna 7, Cresswell 7, Masuaku 8; Bowen 8 (Noble n/a), Soucek 8, Rice 7, Fornals 8; Antonio 8 (Haller 7).

Soaring wages and bad recruitment

Good piece in the Times today by Matt Dickinson headlined: "The West Ham way: soaring wages, bad recruitment and blaming fans." One of Dickinson's key passages reads: "There always is someone else to blame, which might be plausible if Sullivan delegated responsibilities and left others to get on with it, but he does not… No club is immune from bad purchases but most know it pays to establish a system that operates with a strategy and smart staff feeding detailed information into a manager and board. West Ham’s scouting and recruitment has been a mess for some time, not least because Sullivan likes to add his own idiosyncratic decisions to the mix, sitting in his Essex mansion playing Football Manager for real." Click on the link to read the complete feature. 

Sullivan gets depressed

The last thing WHU needed was David Sullivan doing an interview on TalkSport with Jim White. The West Ham co-chairman admits, "I can not say for sure that we are going to sign anybody. As each day passes I am getting more depressed." This typifies how badly run the club is run. Why sell Diangana if a signing has not been lined up? 

It's also Sullivan's job to create some optimism, not lower everyone's spirits. He seems to be trying to deflect the blame on to Moyes, saying that he can't sign players the manager doesn't want without creating a "civil war". Perhaps Moyes is dithering, but you feel it's much more of a problem at board level.

Sullivan does make a fair point about Pellegrini and Husillos wasting £170m on some very average signings, though Sullivan also claims that he personally signed Fabianski and Diop, as ever wanting to take credit for the good signings. The club either needs a Director of Football who is good at the job or a manager who has total control over transfers. Recruitment has been a problem for decades. What we don't need is a chairman who also fancies himself as Director of Football. 

Ironically while all this is going on there does seem to have been some progress in the market. Sullivan rules out spending his whole £40m budget on the 27-year-old Tarkowski in the interview, which is probably right as Burnley are asking for too much. It's now claimed the Hammers have bid £25m plus £11m in add-ons for St Etienne's Wesley Fofana and are also interested in Swansea City's Joe Rodon. Signing anyone would be a triumph after a shambolic transfer window.

Moyes tests positive as Hammers thrash Hull

West Ham 5 Hull City 1 (Carabao Cup)

The big news is that before the game David Moyes, Issa Diop and Josh Cullen all tested positive for Covid-19, though all three are asymptomatic at present. Let's hope the trio are fine and back in action soon. On the pitch it was a satisfying night against Hull. Best goal of the night was Snodgrass's opener, a fine volley from Yarmolenko's cross. Haller tapped home the second after more good work from Yarmy and the Ukranian scored the third with a penalty.

Credit has to be given to the defence which included youngsters Jonson, Ashby and Alese, marshalled by captain Balbuena. Another kid, Longelo, had to come on when Ashby was crocked. There was a slight scare when Hull pulled a goal back, but late efforts from Haller, who rounded the keeper in style, and Yarmolenko made it five. In other strange news, even Jack Wilshere made it through the game.

As my pal Fraser wryly remarked, a brace from both Haller and Yarmolenko should ensure they are dropped for the next league game. Still, it was good to see Yarmolenko, Haller, Lanzini and Anderson playing with some enjoyment and as goals breed confidence it's surely time to give Haller a run in the league.

Three little bids?

The Evening Standard quotes David Moyes as saying West Ham have three active bids, including one for James Tarkowski. So we can assume the Tarkowski bid has gone up to £31 million plus 25 pence and a free big breakfast in the Best Cafe knowing the club's way of doing business. If two other bids are in the pipeline then it at least offers some hope. 

Meanwhile there was a good piece by Jacob Steinberg in the Guardian last week on the club's plight and a possible takeover. Any American consortium would have to pay a lot of money to compensate Sullivan and Gold for the financial penalties they would incur from the LLDC by selling before 2023. Though a new owner would have an immediate advantage in that they wouldn't be blamed for the move to Stratford and the club and fans might at last start pulling together. Click on the link to read the whole piece.

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory

Arsenal 2 West Ham 1

Arrived back from a week in the Lake District to discover that West Ham still haven't signed any players and Arthur Masuaku is our new secret weapon at the Emirates. Fklush with scaling seven Wainwright fells I decide to part with £10 for a Now TV pass. Playing five at the back works reasonably well initially and the side looks more like the effective unit that finished last season, with Bowen always threatening on the break and Ogbonna having a header from a corner saved by Leno. 

Arsenal take the lead on 25 minutes as a just-about-onside Aubameyang crosses and Rice fails to track Lacazette who heads into the top corner. But the Hammers show character to keep threatening and have a penalty appeal turned down after Gabriel handles. According to today's ridiculous rules it should have been given as the ball landed on Gabriel's shirt sleeve — Palace got an even softer decision at Old Trafford. But the Hammers deservedly equalise right on half-time. Soucek finds Bowen, who in turn plays in the overlapping Fredericks. The right-back fires in a great low cross and a gleeful Antonio sweeps home.

For most of the second half the Irons threaten to snatch a winner, most notably when Antonio heads against the bar from Masuaku's cross. When maverick wing-back Arthur fires in another great cross Leno just manages to gather on the line after the ball deflects off Antonio and Gabriel. At this point it would surely have been better to bring on Haller to try and snatch a winner.

But all the good work is ruined with five minutes left as sub Yarmolenko fails to run with Ceballos who breaks behind our three centre-backs to cross for Nketiah to tap home. Moyes sends on Haller and Anderson very late. Felipe does a bit of showboating when he should be lumping it into the box but then does well to cut back for Haller who is foiled by a great challenge from Holding.

It's not the despair I can't take, etc. We really should have won this, but at least it was a much improved performance on the Newcastle game. Though playing well and getting nothing is also a sign of a team in relegation trouble. Arsenal scored two goals from three shots on target and both goals were the result of failing to track runners. You can see why Moyes wants a defensive organiser — but will he be allowed to get one by our board?

Haller sees off Charlton

West Ham 3 Charlton 0 (Carabao Cup)

A welcome win and three goals for the Hammers. Haller could hardly miss after Cullen and Yarmolenko set him up for a tap-in, but his second, a towering header from a cross by Snodgrass, proved the difference a bit of confidence makes. Lanzini set up the third for Anderson, who sank to his knees praying for a manager who selects him. It was a strong line-up and a year ago the front four of Yarmolenko, Haller, Lanzini and Anderson was meant to promise great things. Haller should surely start at Arsenal and Anderson, Snodgrass, Yarmolenko and Cullen have all made a case for inclusion. 

Meanwhile a £31 million bid for James Tarkowski has been turned down. The Clarets really don't want to sell him and it's surely time to target a cheaper centre-back and some full-backs. Rob Holding has been another rumour, except he's not keen on a loan move. There was clearly no realistic target when Diangana was sold, so our scouting department now has to prove that it can finally deliver.

Toon take the points as Hammers flop

 West Ham 0 Newcastle United 2

At least the men did better than the women's side who lost 9-1 to Arsenal in front of 1000 fans. Luckily we were in Keswick so avoided seeing the game live. The Hammers had their chances, with Ogbonna's header coming off the bar and Fornals' deflected effort hitting the bar. Soucek also went close with a header, but ina goalless first half Wilson went close for the Toon and Andy Carroll, whoever he is, caused problems. 

The opening goal came from a cross when the ball was a little luckily deflected. Hendrick reacted quickest to nod it on and Callum Wilson poked home for a poacher's goal. Yarmolekno's shot was parried by the keeper and the Haller had a penalty appeal for handball. But it was all over when Newcastle broke for Hendrick to lash home.

West Ham lost to a side that has made four decent signIngs, two of whom scored, which says it all. We had a player who was like a new signing in Diangana but then sold him. Everyone else has strengthened and West Have stood still. It could be a long season.

How not to play the market

The Evening Standard reports that West Ham have upped their bid for Burney's James Tarkowski to £27 million. I can't see it's that likely he'll want to come to East London. Tarkowski is playing for a well-organised club with a stable board, happy fans and a good manager and in a team that finished much higher than West Ham. He might move for the money of course, but what's clear is that the board have handed the advantage to Burnley in negotiations. 

The Clarets know that Sullivan and Gold are now desperate to make a signing to subdue a players' mutiny and buy off the fans. He's a good player and would improve the defence, but if we do get Tarkowski we're going to end up paying over the odds at £30 million plus. A better approach would be to buy a promising young defender from the Championship or abroad or perhaps try to tempt Lewis Dunk from Brighton, who only finished one place above the Hammers.

It would have been far better to have kept Diangana and not display to the world that the players are disillusioned with the board, and possibly David Moyes if he supported the sale. Morale is really low to judge by the 5-3 Betway Cup loss to Bournemouth. While the board seem to have no knowledge that West Ham fans love home-grown talent and only accept the sale of Academy products when they go to a big club, not West Brom. Diangana only played 16 times for the Hammers and impressing in the Championship is different to the PL — but now we'll never know if would have fulfilled his potential for WHU. The upset this transfer has caused risks turning West Ham into relegation candidates when we should have been looking at a mid-table finish.

Another own goal as Noble speaks out

Well that went well. Grady Diangana has gone to West Brom for a fee rising to £18m with add-ons. The fans are completely disillusioned and Mark Noble has tweeted that as captain he is "gutted angry and sad that Grady has left. A great kid with a great future!" While Jack Wilshere has tweeted "Go and do your thing in a club that respects you. Big player with a big future" and Arthur Masuaku has posted a broken heart. If the dressing room is already split from management then we're as good as down.

All of this is baffling. The official statement says that the money will be spent on signing players for other areas of the team. But Diangana's sale is only remotely acceptable if we have a top class left-back and central defender lined-up. You can't see WHU getting Burnley's James Tarkowski for  £20m. The West Ham statement also claims that the club is well-stocked with wide players in Antonio (who's now a striker), Bowen, Anderson, Yarmolenko, Fornals and Snodgrass. That's true, but Yarmolenko and Snodgrass are ageing and injury-prone, Fornals is better in the middle and Anderson has just had a terrible season. Diangana can beat a man which would have given us something unexpected.

Surely the best option would have been to keep Diangana and go for a couple of defenders on loan or wait to shift a midfielder if money is that tight. A good wage offer to Shane Duffy might have solved the problem. But as it is the club appears broken before a ball is kicked. If this is the work of Moyes then it's brave at least, but any new signings have to be top quality (and when did that last happen?). It seems we'll get nowhere until there's new ownership.

Inaction stations

Whatever happens with the Diangana to West Brom move, the transfer window so far has proved profoundly disappointing. It should be acknowledged that the club has spent £39 million on signing Bowen and Soucek, but now it seems we're Brassic rather than at the next level. Celtic beat WHU to sign Shane Duffy on loan from Brighton, Crystal Palace outbid us for QPR's Eke, Aston Villa have beaten us to Forest's Matty Cash, Everton have signed Watford's Doucoure and it looks like Bournemouth's Fraser and Wilson might be going to Newcastle. All of these players could have been realistic targets for West Ham, but have been poached by teams we should be outbidding with our 60,000 fan base and cheap rented ground. And now it seems West Brom can sign our brightest young players. What is going on?

It would be a big mistake to sell Diangana

Every player has his price, but it would a big mistake to sell Grady Diangana. The Daily Mail claims that West Brom have had a £20m bid accepted. Yes, it's good money for a kid who has only played one and a half seasons, but all the evidence suggests Diangana is the sort of young hungry player David Moyes claimed he needed. 

Apparently sales need to be made to sign some defenders and a striker, but the history of West Ham's recruitment suggests the club are likely to blow any fee on substandard players. We'd also be selling a player to a potential relegation rival. With Zabaleta, Ngakia, Sanchez, Hugill, Ajeti and Roberto gone the club has already made savings. It would make more sense to shift the likes of Wilshere, Snodgrass, Yarmolenko, Lanzini or Anderson if a player has to be sold. Baffling from the board and if this goes through you've got to doubt that the club will keep Declan Rice.