Who will be West Ham's attacking coach?

Still no word on who will be WHU's new attacking coach. Fellow season-ticket holder Matt has already suggested it will be Kevin Nolan, who'll tell the lads to lump it towards the big man, boss. Or maybe Kevin Davies. John Radford might be available along with Iain Dowie who could teach us how to score ugly goals. David Kelly and Mike Small could teach our strikers new ways of getting caught offside, while Trevor Morley could suggest going down like a rag doll very time Bish plays you in. While John Hartson might have some interesting refuelling suggestions and Paolo Di Canio would be brilliant for the first half an hour until he walks off. Though if That's Entertainment is what we want, perhaps we should just get in Paul Weller as Style Counsellor.