Tuesday, April 27

We are staying up

It's hard not to be pessimistic as a West Ham fan until we're mathematically safe. Just to reiterate we're definitely staying up unless:

We lose 7-0 to Fulham and 7-0 to Man City in the final two games and Hull win 7-0 against Wigan and 7-0 against Liverpool and then they'd be one goal ahead of us on goal difference, in the ultimate great escape.

The Premier League discover that all our players are secretly owned by Kia Joorabachian.

Sheffield United sue us for looking at their players in a funny manner and demand a ten-point deduction.

Wigan demand a replay because their vision was obscured by volcanic ash.

Although even this Iron might wager a fiver we'll stay up...

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