White Hart pain

Tottenham 1 West Ham 0

Stranded in north Wales among eco-warriors for the Easter school holidays it's almost impossible to find football information, or indeed even watch Doctor Who. Greens don't have televisions as they regard them as "a boxed fire" that has replaced storytelling. Eventually BBC Sport online reveals that we've lost to Spurs. As expected. We don't seem to have won at the Lane since Chas and Dave were nippers. Can't tell you what Match of the Day was like as marooned among sheep, geese, chickens and horses. But as least this bucolic idyll makes the thought of being overtaken by Spurs in the chase for a Europa Cup spot slightly more bearable as everyone else here is preparing for the climate change apocalypse when Italy and Spain become deserts, Wales becomes like the Med and urban mobs come looting for food in the hills... and we'll still be struggling to find a replacement for Carlton Cole.