Monday, December 29

Judas Judas what's the score?

Portsmouth 1 West Ham 4

And it came to pass that the Men of Iron waged war against the Arsenal Donkey in the Mouth of Ports. And a great multitude had gathered upon the park at Fratton to witness the works of the Men of Iron.

And the mother of St Matthew prayed for the Men of Iron. The Lord heard her prayer and gave strength to King Zola when the Crowing Cockerel offered thirty pieces of silver for Bellers.

But the first blow was struck by the Donkey’s man Beladj and the multitude asked ‘Oh Lord, why hast thou forsaken us?’

The Lord heard their words and respondeth: ‘O ye of little faith, he that is last will later be first. Believe in the work of Zola and thy hopes will live eternally.’

And the word of the Lord was true. Jack the son of Colin smote the ball into the net of Men of Ports and verily there was much rejoicing.

But the sons of the claret and blue were still to be tested when the sinner in black decreed a penalty to the Mouth of Ports. And it came to pass that Judas was to strike the ball towards the holy goal. But the Lord filled the heart of Judas with fear of Robert the keeper of the net. And Judas struck the ball wide and the multitude maketh much amusement of the sinner’s shame.

And then the Lord said, ‘Verily I will restore sight to Carlton in front of the net’. And it came to pass that Jack the Son of Colin smote the ball against the post of the Men of Mouth of Ports. And Carlton struck the ball into an empty net and the multitude were astonished and declared ‘Lord almighty, it is a miracle’.

And the Lord infused Bellers with a spirit of fire and he smote the Men of Ports twice more and the Donkey was downcast.

The multitude were amazed and beckoned to their partners to join the hokey cokey. And the Lord looked upon his work and saw that it was good.

And when the wise men of the blog cometh home he calleth together his friends and neighbours saying unto them rejoice with me and have a right old cockney knees-up. It is meet that we should make merry and be glad.

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