Bowen wins it for Antonio

West Ham 2 Wolves 1

Matt and Lisa are away watching tippy-tappy Basque football rather than El Sackico, so it's down to the diehards of Nigel and CQ, Michael the Whovian, The Gav and Big Sam, who has braved Welsh floods and hurricanes to be here.

The players warm up in Antonio tops which is a nice touch and in the ninth minute there's a minute's applause for the injured striker. Early on Gomes pokes wide from a dangerous cross from Doherty, while Bowen and Soler strike the legs of Sa with good chances. 

Michael, fresh from impersonating Dave the Barman from the Winchester Club, spends much of the first half in existential despair at the quality of play, while CQ hands round the sweets. Due to the cold and possible indifference to Lopetegui's fate the crowd seems strangely sedate.

The other big news is that Sam has been given a copy of Massive for Christmas from his workmates, a book he features in. At half-time desperate measures are required and both Nigel and CQ eat lucky bananas. It works as Soucek finally breaks the deadlock with a looping header from a corner. Strangely Wolves don't have anyone on the post. Tomas runs to the camera and shouts a gruff tribute to Micky. 

A neat move sees Bowen cross for Kudus to net, but Mo has moved beyond his defender a fraction too soon and is ruled offside. Then Wolves have a great shout for a penalty denied by VAR as Emerson pushes Gomes in the back. We were lucky to get away with that one. But it is 1-1 when Ait-Nouri crosses for Doherty to strike home a fine first-time finish.

Three minutes later though Jarrod saves WHU. After a free kick is cleared he's found by Kudus, he cuts inside one man and fires a typical left foot shot into the corner. He celebrates by picking up an Antonio shirt. Wolves claim that the Greek Bloke fouled in the build-up though it looks more like as simple collision. 

There's still time for another Kudus effort to be correctly disallowed and another VAR penalty appeal for Wolves to be turned down. Bowen makes a great run down the right only to pull his cross back behind Ings. We survive eight minutes of added time to buy Loppy more time in charge. Lemina has a go at Bowen after the final whistle and there's a bit of a melee. 

A great win for Antonio, who has spoken to the squad via video before the match. While you've got to feel a bit sorry for Gary O'Neil who is a decent manager working with limited resources.

Michael has to dance in the streets of Stratford alone, as Big Sam has to pick up his motor in Didcot, Nigel and CQ have an 8am gym appointment and I'm preparing for a wedding anniversary mini-break. Matt and Lisa would be dancing in the streets of Bilbao if it wasn't so cold. Loppy now has to try to win the hearts of the West Ham fans and build on this, though Bournemouth away is another tough fixture. Still, at least we won, 22 more points and we're safe. Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 6; Wan-Bissaka 7, Kilman 7, Mavropanos 6, Emerson 6 (Cresswell n/a); Soler 6 (Paqueta 5), Alvarez 6 (Todibo n/a), Soucek 7; Summerville 6 (Ings 6), Kudus 6 (Rodriguez n/a), Bowen 8. 

Thinking of Micky

Every West Ham will be hoping Michail Antonio recovers fully after his horrific car crash in Theydon Bois. He's stable but in a serious condition in hospital and has had surgery for a "lower limb fracture". He was trapped in his car for 40 minutes and had to be cut out by the emergency services. Antonio will be 35 next March and it's going to be a long road back to fitness. He has been a fixture at West Ham since the days of Slaven Bilic and has always played with the enthusiasm of someone who's come up from non-league football. As a lone striker he was sometimes unstoppable and an integral part of the Moyes years. Despite mental health problems in his later years he's always seemed to play with a smile on his face and we all loved those goal celebrations such as stroking the London Stadium carpet and wielding a cardboard cutout of himself against Leicester. Get well soon, Micky.

It's El Sackico on Monday night

It seems that Julen Lopetegui has been backed in the morning and is in charge for the Wolves match, though it's now seen as a must-win game. That's probably the right decision, as sacking him now would have left West Ham with a caretaker in charge for a vital match. Loppy has another game to offer the fans some glimpse of hope, but what's worrying is that so far he doesn't know his best team and there isn't a convincing system. Even in the early days of Moyes you could see progress being made and the side becoming more solid despite initially poor results.

The high backline really isn't working with Kilman, Todibo and Mavropanos slow on the turn and it would be nice to have full backs who stayed in their position. Pep might have played inverted full-backs but it doesn't work at WHU. Wan-Bissaka is one of the best tacklers in the Premier League but seems to be playing anywhere but right-back, while the midfield lacks legs, though Soler looks like he might provide more dynamism. 

Meanwhile Arsenal are scoring numerous goals from set-pieces yet Loppy has loaned out Ward-Prowse one of the best corner-takers in football and we've only scored once from a set-piece. The other dilemma is how to get the best out of a forward line featuring Bowen, Kudus, Summerville and Fullkrug.

The Wolves game is vital but just as important will be the following games against Bournemouth,  Brighton and Southampton. If Lopetegui can't offer a road map towards better times then he'll surely be gone by Christmas.

Ruud awakening for Lopetegui and wasteful Irons

Leicester City 3 West Ham 1

It's the worst possible start watching this on Amazon Prime. Lopetegui has rotated Emerson, Paqueta and Antonio and opted for a workmanlike side, though again Summerville is on the bench. Meanwhile the Leicester crowd are up for it in Ruud Van Nistelrooy's first game in charge.

Two minutes in and Jamie Vardy races behind Mavropanos to sidefoot home a fine finish. The ref gives offside, but VAR reveals that Albert Steptoe is just onside thanks to Dinos's foot. It's no secret that Vardy plays on the shoulder of defenders and Dinos really should have been more alert. Matt WhatsApps that Mavropanos is West Ham's worst ever defender, which is a bit unfair on Gary Breen and co. Dinos does have potential, but he really has to improve his concentration.

Vardy forces a low save from Fabianski but for the rest of the half West Ham dominate. Bowen has a curling shot saved by Hermansen. Bowen crosses for Danny Ings to head against the post. Jarrod then fires against the keeper's legs. Kudus looks forceful on his return and his fine cross is headed wide by Tomaas Soucek - the sort of chance he normally scores with.

It looks like one of those games where we'll do everything but score. Ings fails to gamble on an inviting cross. Hermansen makes his best save, deflecting Bowen's instinctive flock from Alvarez's cross. Soler volleys narrowly wide after a corner. While just before the interval Hermansen spills Ings' mishit and Soler has another effort parried. West Ham have 20 shots in the first half.

Summerville replaces Ings at the break, as the Hammers continue to press. Kudus has a deflected shot tipped over by the keeper. What seems a  good equaliser is disallowed as Hermansen fumbles Summerville's deflected effort under minimal pressure from Soucek. Tomas really didn't do anything wrong there.

But on 61 minutes it's 2-0. McAteer is afforded too much space on the left, and he finds El Khannouss who hasn't been marked tightly enough and scores with a low effort into the corner. 

Fabianski has to make a great stop from Ndidi's header to prevent a third. Emerson, Antonio and Paqueta have come on. There's almost a West Ham lifeline as after good work from Wan-Bissaka and Bowen, Summerville's shot is cleared from halfway over the line by Coady. 

SACKED IN THE MORNING?

The Hammers still look very vulnerable to the break. De-Cordova Reid has a goal disallowed for a marginal offside. But on 90 minutes Daka flicks the ball away from the disappointing Kilman on the halfway line, races towards goal and fires in a left foot rocket at Fabianski's near-post. The lack of cover is worrying and Wan-Bissaka is again too far upfield. 

The centre fails to hold, things fall apart. "Sacked in the morning!" chant the West Ham fans. Things are so bad I'm starting to wonder if we could get Kurt Zouma and his dodgy knees back from his loan in the UAE.

At least the side keep going and in the 93d minute Bowen's corner is flicked on by Summerville for sub Fullkrug to head home. That's the only good thing to come out of the evening, and you hope Niclas is now back, fit and ready to start a run of goals.

West Ham have been unlucky and had an astonishing 31 shots only to get mugged at the back and lose 3-1. But sometimes you have to make your own luck. While I'm never one for sacking managers too quickly this is feeling like the wrong manager at the wrong club. In Lopetegui's 16 games we've only played well in three, Crystal Palace, Ipswich and Newcastle. 

Many fans would take Potter, either Graham or Harry. Loppy's system isn't working and his verbose post-match interviews suggest he might have trouble communicating his ideas to the players. It's not good enough from Steidten either, and with £100m net spent on ten players results have to be better. Wolves is now a six-pointer and we have to win, whether Lopetegui stays or not.

Another difficult away draw

That Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's gaff in Kew Gardens is looking increasingly unlikely. Aston Villa away is another difficult tie, though there's some faint hope that Villa might be distracted by the Champions League. The Irons don't seem to have had much luck in domestic cup draws. OK, Bristol City at home in the FA Cup last season wasn't bad, though we still managed to lose after a replay, but we've also drawn Liverpool away two seasons running in the Carabao Cup, losing both games 5-1. In season 2022-23 we drew Man United away in the FA Cup and lost 3-1. While in 2021-22 we drew both Man United away and Man City at home in the Carabao Cup and beat them both only to then lose 2-1 away to Spurs. And in 2020-21 we went out of the FA Cup after being drawn away to Man United and losing 1-0. Mind you, we also struggled to beat Kidderminster away in the FA Cup two seasons ago. Infamy, infamy, they've all got it infamy.

Pantomime season starts early as Arsenal score five

West Ham 2 Arsenal 5

Before the match there's a trip to the Colour Factory at Hackney Wick with DC and Danny to see Liam Brady interviewed by Martin Allen at a West Ham Way event. 

Brady reminisces about how he liked working with John Lyall, but not the running sessions of Lou Macari, the time Jack Charlton called him Ian Brady, how Stuart Slater was too shy for the goldfish bowl of Celtic when Liam managed there and the time Julian Dicks ripped up the senior pros' pack of cards on the team coach. Mad Dog Martin Allen makes a good compere, questioning like he played with a lot of no-nonsense expletives and then auctioning a signed Trevor Brooking shirt for £250. It's also good to meet Ulf from the Swedish Hammers podcast who ends up with the Brooking shirt, while DC comes away with a folder full of signed Brady pictures.

In the London Stadium Michael is attending his second pantomime of the day having already seen Pinocchio at the Theatre Royal Stratford, while Matt and Lisa have been to the dump with a carpet and are looking forward to seeing another load of old rubbish. Nigel makes up our number.

The early pattern sees Arsenal dominate through Odegaard and Saka with West Ham penned back. We don't want to be giving them corners. But on ten minutes Gabriel loses the blocked-off Antonio, Kilman isn't alert enough and Gabriel heads home a soft set-piece goal. It should have been disallowed for a push on Paqueta, but even so it's very poor defending and surely Antonio shouldn't be on Gabriel.

Summerville nets with a nice lob over the keeper but is correctly ruled offside. The second Arsenal goal arrives when Odegaard flicks a great pass through to Saka. Neither full-back has gone with their man and Saka crosses for Trossard to tap home. Number three comes when Paqueta dangles a leg and Saka goes over it very easily. Odegaard dispatches the penalty. 

He's behind you! After 35 minutes Paqueta loses possession, Trossard plays a long ball over the defence, Kilman slices horribly and misses the ball, leaving Havertz to run through and calmly slot home. 

Just as we're anticipating another 6-0 defeat West Ham come to life. Soler plays a great through ball and Wan-Bissaka has space to poke home. After not scoring in four years that's two in two for Aaron. Two minutes later the Irons win a free kick on the edge of the box and Emerson scores with a beauty. 

KICKED UP THE ARSENAL

Can we pull off a famous comeback? Erm, no. In added time Arsenal win another corner. Fabianski punches it clear but has also caught Gabriel with his fist. Goalkeepers often get the benefit of the doubt on those, but ref Anthony Taylor points to the spot and Saka scores.

The second half sees a punch-drunk home crowd deciding that things can't get any worse and resorting to some proper supporting, singing "West Ham are Massive!" and "We are West Ham's Claret and Blue Army!" Antonio drags a shot narrowly wide as Arsenal ease off, while sub Alvarez improves things a bit in midfield. When sub Danny Ings drags a shot across goal from the sort of chance he used to bury it's too much for Matt who resorts to some ungodly invective, as Lisa quietly books a trip to a wellness clinic in San Sebastian. 

Mercifully it ends at 5-2 and bizarrely we've scored the best goals of the game.Though as Nigel points out in five halves out of six we haven't conceded and we drew the second half. A job doing West Ham's PR awaits.

At the Eagle Nigel is in iconoclastic mood, first declaring that Ever Fallen In Love by the Buzzcocks is a disappointing record, much to the horror of Matt and myself, and then that Psycho Killer by Talking Heads is a pretentious song and David Byrne can't sing. Which leads us to Bob Dylan, who couldn't sing either, but didn't do badly. 

Matt and Nigel then become animated about the fact that at Chester FC a corner could be taken in England into a penalty box that is in Wales. Michael says that he's missed ex-Pistol Glen Matlock to come to the game tonight and perhaps wishes he had never minded the bollocks at the London Stadium. 

Sky's advert for a documentary on darts called Game of Throws has us wondering if today's match was was a Game of Moans or a Game of Groans. All of which is better than watching Jamie Redknapp and Theo Walcott dissecting our defensive errors on Sky.

This has certainly deflated all the optimism of Monday night and we can't carry on defending like this. As Matt points out, Lopetegui built his reputation on defending but can't organise our back line. The next few games in December will decide if Loppy stays, but Steidten also has questions to answer. Arsenal played like Champions elect but we should at least be making them score good goals and giving them a game. Leicester away on Tuesday needs to see a big improvement.

PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 5; Wan-Bissaka 7, Kilman 4, Todibo 5, Emerson 7 (Coufal 6); Soler 6 (Irving), Paqueta 4 (Rodriguez), Soucek 4; Summerville 5 (Alvarez 6), Bowen 6, Antonio 5 (Ings 4). 

Taking goals to Newcastle

Newcastle United 0 West Ham United 2 (two)

It's over to Lola and Michael's flat to watch the expected drubbing at St James' Park. On WhatsApp Mystic Matt is surprised that Loppy has dropped Guido Rodriguez leaving us with no specialist defensive midfielders against in-form Newcastle. Still, it's brave, or possibly foolhardy, to bring in Soler to play alongside Soucek in central midfield with talk of Julen having two games to save his job.

There's an early scare when Izak has a goal correctly disallowed for offside. But there's something different about this West Ham side as the team run hard and steam into tackles. After ten minutes West Ham win a corner and from Emerson's dead ball Soucek loses the Toon defence to head powerfully home. Blimey. It's West Ham's first goal from a corner this season.

A predictable Newcastle onslaught ensues. Willock fires wide and when Todibo miscues to set up Gordon, Fabianski produces a great reflex save. But the Irons are also taking the game to Newcastle and countering at pace. Paqueta is playing deeper alongside Soucek and Soler is busy throughout and always ready to try a shot, curling one effort narrowly wide after a good move. He certainly looks more dynamic than Guido. Bowen is tireless and Antonio is proving a handful for the Newcastle defence. Micky ends up with a ripped shirt and has to change into a new one on the pitch, revealing an enviable set of abs to the nation.

Shortly before the interval Guimaraes chips through to Isak who fires just wide of the post, while Bowen tests Pope after a decent breakaway.

AARON WAN-BISSAKA GOAL MACHINE

More APA is required at half-time as I'm convinced we'll still lose and it's hard to concentrate on the aubergine and potato dish on my lap. Gordon fires across the goalmouth as the second half starts. But what sort of thing is happening here? Paqueta robs Guimaraes and sets Bowen free, Jarrod passes inside to the underlapping Wan-Bissaka and Aaron fires into the far corner for his first goal in four years. Incredible. 

Nicola wants to know why I'm still stressed and I explain it's the hope I can't take. But Newcastle look strangely jaded and West Ham defend stoutly thanks to Kilman and co. Bowen and Soucek test Pope with on-target shots. Todibo goes off injured and there's a scare when sub Mavropanos puts his arms around Wilson and Newcastle shout for a penalty. That one could have gone either way.

Danny Ings comes on for Antonio and there's even a late sighting of Andy Irvine. Despite six minutes of added time the Irons control the game and the 3200 away fans in the gods enjoy a series of "oles" as the Hammers play keepball. 

It's a very unexpected win. It's the best we've seen from the manager and also players like Soler and Wan-Bissaka. Paqueta was looking more like the player of old too. Most importantly the side seemed to work really hard for each other and one very impressive stat is that West Ham covered 120.7 kilometres, the longest of any side in a Premier League match this season. Two weeks with the players has allowed Loppy to somehow inspire the lads with a work ethic. It's also worth noting that West Ham had six shots on target as opposed to the home side's two. 

This was much much better. Let's hope it's the turning point of our season. Irons!