Homer defeat for England but a great night for Dinos

It was Acropolis now for England last night. Gaffer Lee Carsley might have chosen to play without strikers but even so, Dinos Mavropanos had a very good game for Greece in their victory at Wembley. Final score England 1 Philosophy Football 2. He seemed to get everything in the air, won all his tackles, had a goal disallowed and didn't make any silly mistakes. 

Dinos now looks to be West Ham's third-choice centre back behind Max Kilman and Jean-Clair Todibo, but he had a decent game as a second-half substitute right back against Brentford and a victory at Wembley will also boost his confidence, as well as being a fitting tribute to George Baldock, brother of former Hammers striker Sam. Well done Konstantinos, even if it was a Greek tragedy for England.

Tractor Boys hammered in welcome home win

West Ham 4 (four) Ipswich Town 1

At a very sunny London Stadium I'm joined by Belgian mystic lamb and beer experts Lisa and Matt, plus Michael the Whovian, preparing for his big Brigadier tribute night. It's also a pleasant surprise to find Clacton refugees Alison and Scott in the seats further back. Nigel is away at a mysterious "social function" in Felixstowe, surrounded by Tractor Boys, so it's down to the diehards. 

What could possibly go right? In the first minute someone called Kalvin Phillips loses possession, Soucek feeds Bowen on the right and Antonio sweeps home the cross. Have we been taking lessons from Brentford? That goal will do Antonio's confidence a lot of good, as he seems destined to be our main striker for the next decade.

But unfortunately we still haven't stopped conceding early goals. Four minutes after Antonio's goal Ipswich win a corner. Delap picks up the clearance and unleashes a stinging shot that squirms past Areola. Having got a hand to it Areola should surely have stopped it. The noisy Ipswich away crew celebrate with glee, having already enjoyed seeing their first cars in London according to Matt.

West Ham wobble at this point. An Ipswich free kick sees Greaves puts a free header wide. Matt is wearing our late friend Fraser's West Ham shirt and wonders if a sense of indefatigable calm will rub off; it doesn't as it takes a full ten seconds before Matt is asking "Why can we not f***ing control it?" West Ham's build-up seems ponderous at times, but Todibo tries to make something happen with a fine run out of defence. Kudus starts to get in some shots. 

After a fine one-touch passing move from Paqueta and Bowen, Antonio gets in a great cross that Kudus heads against the outside of the post when he should have scored. Town are making the mistake of trying to play out from the back and are caught out. Paqueta finds Soucek, whose shot is cleared off the line by O'Shea.

But West Ham are not to be denied. Emerson makes a fine burst down the left and crosses for Antonio to head against the bar. The ball bounces on the line in1966-style, and Kudus is on hand to head home. The announcer gives the goal to first Micky and then Mo, meaning we are surely 3-1 up.

JARROD BOWEN'S ON FIRE

Bizarrely we start well after the break. Ex-Hammers playwright Ben Johnson helpfully lobs a difficult back pass towards Muric. Under pressure from Antonio the keeper slices the ball wide to Bowen, who cuts inside Phillips and slots home a fine finish.

Muric has to make a great save to deny Kudus after Bowen's fine through ball. To their credit Ipswich keep going and Areola has to produce a world-class save from Delap's header. But there are more goals to be had for the Irons. Antonio finds Bowen on the right and his cross is tapped home by Lucas Paqueta, another Hammer who needed a goal to kick-start his season.

Young star Antonio gets a deserved ovation when he is subbed and we get see a cameo from debutant Luis Guilherme. Sub Aaron Cresswell puts a late free kick well over the bar. It's a shame the Irons don't go all out for a fifth, but 4-1 is a very decent result after three home defeats. We can now go into the international break looking up rather than down.

We trek to the Eagle where Sinead has Guinness for Michael and bottles of London Pride in the fridge, plus Tayto crisps. Matt reveals that he based his career plans on watching Minder, as it looked great fun drinking all day. But instead he went into the entirely sober profession of journalism, quips Michael. While we all enjoy sending Nigel messages on WhatsApp saying that he's missed the game of the century. So this is what a home win feels like. More of these please, Mr Lopetegui. 

PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Wan-Bissaka 6, Todibo 7, Kilman 6, Emerson 7 (Cresswell 5); Rodriguez 6 (Alvarez 6), Soucek 6, Paqueta 7 (Summerville 5); Bowen 8, Antonio 8 (Soler 5), Kudus 7 (Guilherme n/a).

Time to stop doubting Tomas

Interesting to note that Tomas Soucek's goal at Brentford was his 29th Premier League goal (he's scored 34 in all competitions) in four and a half seasons at West Ham. That's not bad at all for a defensive midfielder. Soucek isn't a great passer and at six foot four inches can look ungainly, but he's certainly a nuisance in both boxes.The other positive is his attitude, he frequently tops the Premier League stats for most distance covered in a game and would clearly run through a field of potato salad for the Irons. Tomas did the scuffling to allow Paqueta's pass to Bowen in Prague and that seems to sum up his contribution. Players like Paqueta and Kudus need the odd workhorse behind them. And with neither Rodriguez or Alvarez having the knack of scoring it's now very hard for Loppy to leave Soucek out. 

Andy Irving: international man of mystery

It's not often you have no idea who one of your own players is. Andy Irving has now come on as a sub for three games in a row, most recently for a five-minute cameo against Fulham. He even got a shot in against Chelsea. Did he fall to Earth like David Bowie? Andy apparently signed for West Ham from Austria Klagenfurt on deadline day at the start of last season, though at the time neither club confirmed the deal. He was then immediately loaned back to Austria Klagenfurt. It was a productive spell with the midfielder scoring nine goals in 28 games for the Austrian outfit including a hat-trick against Red Bull Salzburg. Then he returned to West Ham, scored a belter in the pre-season friendly at Dagenham, and now seems to be a fixture in the squad. In fact Andy's just been called up by Scotland. 

Irving, now 24, started his career at Hearts, where he scored twice in 46 appearances and played for Scotland Under-21s. He also had loan spells at Berwick and Falkirk. The peripatetic Scot then signed for German third division side Türkgücü München. He had a season there before financial problems forced the club to resign from the league, and was then signed by Austria Klagenfurt and the rest is obscure Hammers history. He's certainly come to West Ham via a circuitous route. Though the alternative theory is that he is actually secret agent 007 planted at West Ham to tackle the evil megalomaniacs and dastardly states controlling the Premier League and now bent on world domination.

Soucek secures point at the bus stop in Hounslow

Brentford 1 West Ham 1

It's a trifle disconcerting to switch on the BBC live match text reports at 3.01 and discover that West Ham are a goal down after 38 seconds. Normally we wait four or five minutes to concede an early goal. As Lisa comments on WhatsApp, perhaps we are trying to beat our personal best. 

The trouble begins when Emerson is beaten for pace by Schade and Areola palms away the resulting cross. Another cross comes in, Todibo heads away, Brentford win the second ball and Mbuemo scores with a brilliant volley.

That's nine goals conceded in two games and one minute. To give the players credit they make a determined effort to get back into the game. Kudus, released by Soucek, fires a shot into Flekken and Antonio drags an effort wide. But only a good challenge by Wan-Bissaka prevents Mbuemo making it two with a header before the break.

Lopetegui isn't scared of using subs and this time his changes at the break work. It's brave to take off Kudus for Soler, while Emerson is hooked with Wan-Bissaka moved to left-back and Mavropanos coming on at right back. The idea seems to be to give the Irons more physicality at the back and by all accounts Dinos has a good game in an unfamiliar position. 

The Hammers equalise after 54 minutes. Paqueta does well to win the ball back from Mbuemo on the left, Soucek and Bowen exchange passes and Jarrod does a lovely back heel to Soucek, who flicks on to Antonio whose effort is half-blocked, the ball falling to Soucek to fire home. Tomas does his twirling celebration and though he might be a Moyes stalwart, Loppy is learning that we look a better team with Tomas in the side.

Brentford have a couple of hopeful appeals for penalties turned down in the final ten minutes and Todibo has a decent game at the back. There's even another five-minute cameo from the unknown footballer, Andy Irving. 

In fact it's West Ham who threaten to win it at the end of eight minutes of added time, as Soler's hooked effort is tipped on to the top of the bar by Flekken. Bizarrely and against precedent the ref doesn't allow any time for the corner kick to be taken, causing an eruption from Lopetegui and the players. 

Still, we're relieved to get an away point at the bus stop in Hounslow after that early goal and this was encouraging in terms of spirit. Unbeaten away, defeated every time at home. Hopefully the visit of Ipswich next week can deliver that much-needed home win.

Another mauling at Liverpool

Liverpool 5 West Ham 1 (Carabao Cup)

After the Chelsea defeat a trip to Anfield wasn't exactly welcome. One-one at half-time is a promising scoreline though. Danny Ings had an early goal disallowed too. The Hammers take the lead when Cresswell's corner causes confusion as Alvarez tried to get a shot away and a Liverpool clearance deflected in off Quansah. Four minutes later it's 1-1 as Chiesa shoots into the ground and Jota gets between Fabianski and Kilman to score with a brave header, 

Yet again though, the Hammers concede soon after the break as Jones finds Jota, who slots home with a cool finish. The arrival of sub Antonio makes a difference and West Ham nearly equalise when following good work by Summerville and Antonio, Kilman can't react quickly enough to score, firing against Kelleher.

The game is over when Fabianski saves well from Bradley only for Salah to shoot the rebound in toi the roof of the net. It gets worse aa Alvaraz receives a silly second booking for a rash challenge on Salah and the Irons are down to ten men. Even at 3-1 down, Summerville misses a really good chance after being set up by Antonio. 

Liverpool then bag a couple in added time through Gakpo, the second aided by a fortunate deflection off Todibo.The Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's gaff has been postponed yet again, It's been a miserable week for the Hammers. To cap it all, Lopetegui leaves the game on crutches after injuring himself stamping his foot. He's learning that supporting West Ham is a painful business.

It's been a slightly better performance than Chelsea, but northing is going for the team at the moment. We're still in Ghent, where the local Gent fans wear nooses to reflect the nickname of “noose bearers” given to Ghent residents. This dates back to the Ghent revolt of 1539 when King Charles V of Spain made the ringleaders parade in their underwear with nooses around their necks. West Ham fans do not as yet sport nooses, but after this we might well be tempted.

I don't want to go to Chelsea

West Ham 0 Chelsea 3

Luckily we're on holiday in Belgium for this one, with West Ham collapsing like a set of fragile waffles. There's a real Hammers problem with conceding early goals. Kudus gets an early shot away but when Mavropanos gives away a free kick in the fourth minute, Chelsea's quick response baffles the West Ham defence. Jackson is being man-marked by Alvarez in a strange tactical ploy by Lopetegui. The Chelsea striker has acres of space on the left, Wan-Bissaka is occupied with Sancho and the Chelsea man runs through to shoot through Areola's legs. 

Chelsea almost get a second when Jackson is again afforded infinite space on the left flank and sets up Palmer to fire just wide. The second does arrive when Chelsea ping the ball around in midfield without a West Ham challenge, Mavropanos steps in and Caicedo has time to play an easy through ball to Jackson, who slots home having lost Kilman.

Lopetegui admits he's got his tactics wrong in the 38th minute by substituting Rodriguez with Soucek. There's a brief West Ham revival, with Summerville having a clear penalty turned down after Fofana grabs his arm. Kudus has a goal correctly disallowed for offside and Soucek at least gets a shot away at Sanchez.

But the game is over in the first minute of the second half as the Irons again concede early. Chelsea counter attack with Jackson again free on the left and Kilman up against two men. He finds Palmer who beats Areola at his near post. 

Bowen has a shot blocked but only a brilliant save by Areola from Nkunku's header keeps the score down. West Ham leave the pitch to a round of boos while I console myself with a glass of aptly-named Bolleke beer. 

On WhatsApp Matt suggests it's the worst home performance since the 6-0 defeat by Arsenal. The Irons have lost their first three games at home for the first time in their history. It's early days and Aston Villa, Man City and Chelsea have been quality opponents, but we should at least be giving them a game. This was nowhere near good enough.