In the Best Meze Cafe Matt has been served two-thirds of a pint of rosé wine, which is probably just as well allowing for what is to follow. Michael arrives wearing a cryptic t-shirt reading "Underestimate Me" and as the falafel and haloumi mushrooms arrive we commiserate with Big Sam on his misfortune in buying a season ticket. In the stadium we find CQ and Nigel, wearing a Helsinki t-shirt purchased on a train holiday around Finland.
The crowd seem up for it at the start and Cole Palmer has been withdrawn after the warm-up. Surely we can't be as bad as at Sunderland? After six minutes Estevao plays a loose ball, Diouf feeds Paqueta who isn't challenged and races towards the box to send a brilliant swerving shot into the top of the net past a despairing Sanchez. That's more like the old Lucas.
It's the perfect start as the crowd tell Chelsea where to insert their blue flag. Now we have something to defend, only that's the problem. Nine minutes later Chelsea get a corner. Cucurella gets above Paqueta ro flick on at the near post and Joao Pedro rises above Todibo and Fullkrug to head home. Its a simple set-piece goal that we just shouldn't concede. The defence is still not doing the basics.
West Ham's response appears to be good as Todibo plays a one-two with Paqueta to get down the right and cross. Kilman fires into a defender but Fullkrug gets the rebound and slams the ball past Sanchez. Cue sodding VAR and Todibo being adjudged offside by a toe.
West Ham then concede another sloppy goal. Diouf plays a difficult ball to Paqueta on the edge of the box, Lucas falls over and claims a foul but Chelsea play on. West Ham don't, and Joao Pedro crosses for Neto to get behind Wan-Bissaka and volley home. We're not good enough to play it out from the back
Soucek and Ward-Prowse are being by-passed in midfield as Chelsea dominate. Brazilian wonderkid Estevao skates through our defence and past Soucek to cross for Hernandez to score. Again Wan-Bissaka, a talented player having a terrible game, has let his man get in front of him.
Nigel eats his lucky banana at half-time, though we are sensing that having produced only one trophy in 45 years it might be losing its power. Potter takes off Todibo for Freddie Potts and Fullkrug for Wilson.
It doesn't get better. From a Chelsea corner Hermansen flaps hopelessly at the ball and pals the ball to Caicedo who shoots home.Four minutes later another Chelsea corner sees Hermansen bullied out of it, admittedly not protected much by his defenders, and is on the ground as Chalobah scores. We start to remember the days of Roberto and Allen McKnight. It was a mistake to bring Hermansen in so soon after signing and he has to be dropped now for Areola. His confidence is shot and it won't have been helped by the crowd giving ironic cheers late on when he does catch the ball.
CHELSEA DAGGER
Five-one down after 58 minutes, with three goals conceded from corners. Luckily Chelsea decide to ease up and bring on some subs. West Ham do make a few chances. Kilman and Aguerd head over from corners, Potts has a shot well-saved by Sanchez and Wilson dawdles instead of shooting, opting to pass to Walker-Peters who has a low effort cleared from in front of the line.
Michael looks mournfully towards fourth official James Mainwaring and declares, "We're doomed, we're all doomed!" Matt agrees that at least the ref had a good game. West Ham leave the pitch to boos from those fans left, though Nigel does at least spot his West Ham pal from the Hawkwind concert.
Ye Olde Black Bull is clean out of whisky and revolvers but does have some cold Brixton Pale Ale to help us as the TV plays Jamie Redknapp and Robert Green on Sky dissecting our frailties. Potter hasn't made any difference in eight months and can't get his team doing basic defending. On Sky Robert Green suggests that he plays three centre-backs because he doesn't trust any of them. Eight goals conceded in two games and Potter is in big trouble. Should we lose to Wolves, Forest and Spurs Potter might, like Nigel and CQ in Helsinki, be expecting the Finnish.
But it's not just the manager, the club is suffering from years of bad decisions made by the owners. We still don't know why Moyes didn't sign that new contract in January 2024 with West Ham sixth, but those fans who appeared on phone-ins saying Moyes was holding us back are looking pretty silly now.
Just to round it off the Mildmay line train is full of horrible Chelsea fans singing "Three more years, three more years Graham Potter!" to round off the pain. The world is bad enough without this. West Ham urgently need a leader on the pitch, someone who can defend corners, two athletic midfielders and a manager who can inspire much better performances from a still-talented squad. Apart from that everything is fine.
PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 3; Wan-Bissaka 3, Todibo 3 (Potts 5), Kilman 3, Aguerd 3, Diouf 4; Soucek 3 (Walker-Peters 5), Ward-Prowse 3, Paqueta 6; Bowen 4, Fullkrug 5 (Wilson 5).
1 comment:
Definitely agree about the keeper get Areola back in quick! We spent 60 million on Kilman and Mads ! remarkable business for more average players, Paqueta looked like a player again but if we sell him to buy more affordable average players we're forked. Where is an enthusiastic billionaire when you need one.
As you say all those Moyes critics are very quiet now! hope they enjoy the Championship next year!
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