In the Best Meze Cafe we find a full turn-out of Nigel, Matt, Lisa, Big Sam and Michael. Matt is regaling us with stories of the colleague who thought Dannii Minogue was a man and then the ace trivia fact that Charlton's Nathaniel Chalobah once played six minutes for England.
Michael leaves early to buy a replica West Ham shirt with Bowen's name on the back. He's been talking about not renewing his season ticket all summer, drinking whisky after hours in Rick's Cafe and reminiscing about George Parris. But now, in Victor Lazlo fashion, we welcome him back to the fight — and this time we know our side probably won't win.
Before the match Mystic Matt has predicted that we need to keep any eye on the speedy Tyreece Campbell and that we don't want to concede an early goal as Charlton are strong defensively. So we duly concede a goal from a throw-in after seven minutes. Mavropanos and Kante leave it to each other, the ball bounces and Jones scores with an overhead kick. Hermansen could possibly have reacted a bit quicker.
For the rest of the half West Ham pass it round without any real penetration. Walker-Peters is lucky when he is robbed and Leaburn fires into the side netting on the break. Solomon looks lively and has a goal-bound shot blocked and that's about it. Engels is busy but isn't as yet improving our dialectical materialism. Scarles gets in good crossing positions but can't find a free man and the double striker partnership of Castellanos and Piroe isn't working. Just before the break Scarles does find the head of Taty, but he can only head straight at Okonkwo.
At half-time there's a massive queue at the water point which makes you wonder if Thames Water are in charge. The second half sees Nuno brings on Orford for Kante. But before that change can bring results the Hammers are two goals down. The Greek Bloke should play it simple to Kilman but instead tries to beat his man and is tackled by Leaburn. The Charlton striker finds Campbell who races through to score with a fine finish. Was that Dinos thinking he's still a Premier League player? You can't be complacent in this division and he's clearly missing Disasi alongside him.
West Ham do give it a go after that. Orford looks after the ball well and Bowen responds to the crowd getting behind him. Solomon sets up Piroe for an effort saved by Okonkwo. Taty heads wide from Scarles' cross. Bowen can't quite connect from Piroe's cross. Nuno hauls off the Greek Bloke and Scarles for Veltman and Mukasa, our former Academy product now loaned back from Man City.
On 74 minuted comes a lifeline. Bowen gets in a decent cross, Taty's effort is saved by Okonkwo but Piroe is there to fire into the roof of the net for a good poacher's goal. Engels wins the ball to find Bowen and from Jarrod's cross Mukasa fires in a first-time shot that is brilliantly saved by the impressive Okonkwo. A good start from young Mukasa. Then Bowen cuts inside two defenders in a trademark run to fire just wide.
SPOT OF BOTHER
In the 93rd minute Solomon finds Mukasa who plays it to Orford on the edge of the box. His shot is blocked by our former man Conor Coventry with an outstretched arm and it's a penalty. There's mystification in the crowd as Castellanos goes to take it rather than Bowen. Has the official penalty-taker been changed? If not then Bowen should have asserted his authority as captain. It heaps pressure on Castellanos. He does one of those irritating stop-start penalties and strikes the ball against the post. If it's the last kick of the game then just blast it.
So it's a very poor start of one point from six. We've lost to a team managed by a character from a Bananarama song in Nathan Jones. Though had that penalty gone in we might have had something to hold on to. Still, some of the rancour online is a bit over-the-top. The Hammers certainly have to cut out the defensive errors, but the last half an hour was encouraging. We have to remember that Piroe, Engels and Mukasa were making their debuts and Solomon was only in his second game. We managed to lose a game having 77 per cent possession and 25 shots. On that basis results will surely come, though on the other hand Nuno could be gone if we don't get results against Watford, Wolves and Derby.
In the Eagle the Guinness is refreshingly cold and Nigel is reminiscing about 1970s quiz show Mr and Mrs and Mind Your Language and why Richard O'Brien supported Southampton in Man About The House, while Michael knows a lot about The Golden Shot. Michael is fresh from watching Mark Almond supporting Bucks Fizz and proudly displays a picture of himself with Jay Aston.
Meanwhile Matt has discovered that Piroe is the 100th West Ham player to score on his debut and asks us to name the rest. Nigel and Sam are heading to Southampton on Tuesday and you wonder what sort of side Nuno will put out. The big game is now against Elton John's boys on Saturday. We have to acclimatise to this division and quickly.
PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Walker-Peters 5, Mavropanos 4 (Veltman 6), Kilman 6, Scarles 6 (Mukasa 6); Engels 6, Kante 5 (Orford 7); Bowen 7, Castellanos 5, Piroe 6, Solomon 6.
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