There's a four-piece band outside the stadium playing Tequila but replacing the chorus with "Paqueta!", which is about as good as it gets. I'm joined by Nigel, fresh from the new Led Zeppelin movie, Michael and Big Sam, who has trekked from deepest Wales.
Before kick-off we have a minute's applause in memory of Ronnie "Ticker" Boyce and a decent atmosphere. That changes after three minutes as a simple ball over the top sees Mbuemo nick the ball past Emerson, Schade shoot, Areola make two good saves only for the Brentford man's third effort to cross the line. It's the tenth goal that West Ham have conceded in the first ten minutes this season.
A tardy Matt and Lisa are arriving at this point, having raced from watching a defeat for the WHU Under 21s. We discover that Matt, a true romantic, has for Valentine's Day taken Lisa to watch the Under-18s rather than Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy.
It's a dire first half from the Hammers, with the side looking way off the pace against a sharp Brentford. Areola has to make a decent stop from Mbuemo. A terrible crossfield pass from Paqueta sees Wissa net only to be ruled just offside. Soler is fouled as West Ham break but the ref allows play to continue as Schade hits the post to a chorus of boos. Mavropanos has to make a great saving tackle. After more intricate passing Brentford net again only to have it correctly ruled out for a narrow offside.
The best West Ham have offered is a couple of dangerous crosses from Jarrod Bowen and even worse, Nigel has forgotten his lucky banana, claiming that his choice of snack might not make a difference to our results.
Potter has to do something at half time and brings on Ferguson, Ward-Prowse and Scarles for Soler, Soucek and Emerson. Young Evan Ferguson looks a little like Leo Woodall, Bridget Jones' new love interest, though so far West Ham have sent most of us to the edge of reason.
The Irons play like a different team in the second half and get stuck in. Some neat ball juggling from Bowen releases Ferguson who shows a good burst of speed to get to the line and pull back for Kudus to fire over a gaping goal. That should have been 1-1 and Mo seems struggling for form and confidence.
James Ward-Prowse plays sensibly and looks like Lionel Messi compared to what's come before, as West Ham threaten the Brentford goal. Paqueta wins a free kick on the edge of the box which is deflected wide, with the ref not even giving a corner. Bowen has a penalty appeal refused and Ferguson uses his strength to hold off three defenders and fire a shot at Flekken. We've looked a lot better with a young mobile target man.
Ward-Prowse gets a round of applause every time he takes a corner, though without Soucek there's not too much to aim at. At times we make the Brentford defence seem as impregnable as that of FC Astra. The Bus Stop from Hounslow players see out the game fairly comfortably.
We head to the Eagle for London Pride from the fridge. Matt wants to know which one of our mates has seen a game in Uzbekistan (it's Lisa obviously) and we then end up discussing the work of Nick Hornby and Gill Hornby, and whether an artist's early works are their best. All better than talking about the match. To compound our gloom the TV is showing Everton winning at Crystal Palace under bright young manager David Moyes.
If we lose to Leicester we really will be in the relegation mix. With 13 games left some wins are needed urgently to save the season.
PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Wan-Bissaka 5, Kilman 5, Mavropanos 5 (Guilherme n/a); Emerson 5 (Scarles 6); Alvarez 5, Soler 4 (Ferguson 7), Soucek 4 (Ward-Prowse 6), Paqueta 6; Kudus 5, Bowen 6.
3 comments:
No one near us had a clue about that formation in the first half. Bowen as striker would at least have meant someone was in the penalty area?
Agreed. Baffling to see Paqueta at 9, Bowen wide right, Kudos between them, and Soler wide left. Potter has to bear responsibility for picking too many out of their best position. When you make three chances at half-time it's because you've picked the wrong team.
With hindsight it was indeed the wrong starting formation. Bowen did a decent job as a striker against Chelsea so would have made sense to play him there and Kudus wide right until Ferguson came on.
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